Chapter Forty-Eight

Istand there by the door, my mouth hanging open. My brain can't process what just happened. Did Alison just break up with me? Why? I don't understand. I play everything that happened last night over in my head trying to figure out what went wrong.

I turn back towards the door. I pause, my hand hovering over the doorknob. I want to walk in and demand answers. Or tell her she's wrong and this isn't happening. That she's stuck with me whether she likes it or not.

I hear muffled sobs from the other side of the door. I want nothing more than to walk in and wrap her up in my arms and kiss away the pain.

But she's the one that chose this. She doesn't want to be with me anymore. My brain is trying to comprehend the fact that she doesn't want me to be the one to help her get through everything.

I take a few steps away from the door and try to breathe. Alison doesn't want me anymore. She doesn't want us. She doesn't love me. As much as I can't imagine my life without her in it, if it's what she truly wants, then I have to honor it. No matter how much it'll kill me to do so. Before I can change my mind, I quickly turn and head out of the hotel.

Within a few hours, I'm standing at the airport terminal with my duffle bag thrown over my shoulder. I pull my collar up a little higher around my neck and do a quick scan of the gate. I'm praying that no one recognizes me here. I slide my phone out of my pocket and send a text to my dad.

Boarding now.

He responds within a few seconds.

See you soon.

I put my phone back into my pocket, hoist my duffle higher up on my shoulder, and head through the gate.

I stand on the driveway staring at my house trying to drudge up the courage to go in. I'm instantly hit with déjà vu from when I met with Stephen about touring with Alison. I sat outside with this same view just like now but instead of having happy information to share this time, I have heart shattering news.

I'm glad to be home and see my family, but I know I'm going to have to talk about what happened. I need to talk about what happened. That's exactly why I came home but the thought of actually doing it now is already emotionally draining me.

I close my eyes and breathe for a few seconds then grab my duffle off the driveway and head inside.

"Juliet's asleep," my dad says as he walks back into the living room.

"Oh good." I swirl the drink in my cup a few times. "Did you tell her what happened?"

Dad pauses for a second. "I told her that you and Alison are taking some space for now but that's it."

I nod. "She's going to be heartbroken." I drop my head into my hands. I feel the weight of my dad's hand as he lays it on my shoulder.

"I'm not worried about her heart right now. I'm worried about yours. What happened?" I can't see my dad's face but I can hear the concern in his voice.

We sit there for a few seconds. My dad doesn't say anything else. He just waits for me to be ready to talk. I don't know if I ever actually will be fully ready but I need to get it all out. I finally look up at him.

"I have no idea, Dad. One minute, everything is fine. I stayed all night with her. Made sure she was okay. She seemed beyond thankful that I was there. Then I go to grab the door because Willow sent breakfast to us. Willow was actually there so she went to talk to Alison while I got all of the food together. Next thing I know, Alison is telling me she can't do this anymore."

He presses his lips together for a few seconds. I wait for him to say something but he doesn't.

"What?" I press. "Just say it, Dad."

"You don't think Willow said something or convinced her to call it off, do you?"

I instantly start shaking my head. "No way. Willow honestly looked upset when she left the room. Not to mention she was the one that helped me get on Alison's good side. She's always been on our team. No way she was the catalyst of this all. It had to have been Alison. I just wish I knew why."

"And she really didn't give you any insight as to why?"

I stand up from the couch and start pacing the living room. "No. Just the typical ‘it's not you, it's me' thing. That she couldn't do it anymore and that she was overwhelmed."

"That's tough," Dad responds, clearly at a loss for words.

"I just wish I knew what went wrong." I slam my fist on the mantle. "I have no idea what was going through her head. I don't know if I did something wrong or if there's someone else or what. The not knowing is killing me." I put both of my hands on the mantle and hang my head in between my arms. "I just miss her."

My dad comes up to the side of me and sets his hand on my back. "I know, Arch, I know."

I turn my head towards him. "I love her," I whisper.

My dad closes the gap between us and pulls me in for a hug.

"What's wrong with him?" I hear Juliet whisper from the other side of the cracked door.

"Nothing. He just isn't feeling well today," my dad answers.

There's silence for a few seconds. "It's because of Alison isn't it?" Juliet murmurs.

"Let's let him sleep for a bit longer," my dad says. I hear the door click shut. I roll over to my other side and close my eyes.