Chapter 5

Chapter 5

I'd never been more nervous about anything as I was my date with Marcus on the dawn of Sunday morning. This was my chance to ask all the right questions and get all the answers, and yet I just knew I was going to face plant and forget everything the moment I was put on the spot. I'd even tried writing a list last night, like I was formulating an interview for a school project, but I didn't get far past "so what did I taste like?" before I found my mind drifting everywhere it shouldn't be.

That wasn't the worst of it though. The date itself was going to be its own challenge. I didn't know what to think of Marcus right now. I was pretty sure I liked him, and he treated me well, but the number of unknowns had only gotten more overwhelming the longer I had to dwell on them. The initial shock was one thing, but the more time I had to pick apart every interaction I'd ever had with him, the more I was finding myself nervous and on edge.

He was a vampire, which was its own land mine, and he was a Zodiac Shifter, which I was still at a loss to understand. And what felt most significant was that he was the brother of the guy who took my virginity—who also happened to be my teacher—and he'd marked me and could read my mind. What was once a messy relationship with my teacher and an uncomplicated relationship with my classmate was now a set of compounding tornadoes in a confetti factory. No part of who he was felt straightforward anymore, and I found myself questioning which parts of his personality were real versus which were a clever mask.

For example, did he actually like me on my own merit? Or was he getting close to me because he sensed my connection to his brother? I had so many questions, and I doubted he would clear up even a fraction of them.

But I agreed to go out with him, and I was going to leverage whatever guilt he might have to get whatever answers I could. I didn't want to use him like that, but I was too far over my head, and I needed a lifeline.

I went to my closet and started searching for what to wear. I should have bought something from Threads of the Magi, but I'd been so frazzled lately, I hadn't had the foresight. That was probably for the best. I needed to press the brakes on all of these relationships and figure out where Marcus stood, where Adrian stood, where I stood, and why anyone was pursuing me in the first place.

I didn't even understand the implication of having these marks etched into my body. Both Marcus and Adrian had told me I could reject them, but what did that even mean? How did that work and what did rejection entail? I hoped it wasn't another blood ritual, but there was so much biting and bleeding with these guys. It would be a wonder if I could survive a relationship with either of them.

I heaved a heavy breath, then I cycled through my barren wardrobe for the fifth time.

This date would be a good thing. I should have been excited to have a whole new world to learn about, with its own version of physics and logic and math. Who wanted to be limited to the laws of thermodynamics when power and energy could be drawn from simply having an unencumbered view of the moon?

I hit my forehead into my closet door, and I stayed there while I sorted through my delusional mental crisis.

It was all going to be fine. Just fine.