Chapter Seven

Shelby

“You can do it, Shelby. Just swing your legs over the edge and stand up. You’re not a damn baby,” I berated myself, hating my scratchy voice and eyeing my pale, hairy legs against the white sheet. The stretchy socks needed to go as much as I needed to shave, but the little grippy pattern on the bottom kept me from shucking them off. Ending up flat on my already scarred face because I was being a ninny wasn’t on my agenda. Carter and Rafe had left, and I was going to get myself out of this place before either one came back. I just had to get my sorry behind out of this bed first.

Done procrastinating, I clutched the half-rail on my bed and pulled myself up straight with a groan. While the discomfort in my chest was lessening, it still lingered on, making itself known with any shifting of my ribs. I ignored it the best I could and inched my feet off the side, letting gravity help me along until I was perched on the edge of the mattress. Sweat dampened my hairline. I was weak with little stamina, but I was able to sit up on my own if I raised the head of the bed a bit to get me started.

Breathing heavily, I continued to mutter to myself. “How do you plan on leaving, let alone getting a job, if you can’t even get across the room to the phone? God, I’m useless.”

I knew I sounded crazy, but it was too quiet in my head. The low drone of whatever was on the television could plausibly give me cover if anyone came in and caught me. Talking to myself wouldn’t be noticed anyhow if I got busted trying to get out of bed by myself. I needed to use the phone though, and I wanted privacy to do so. Asking for help would have one of the men hovering outside my door if I were lucky and looming over me, waiting to tuck me back into my sickbed, if I weren’t so lucky.

Sucking in as deep a breath as I dared, I let my legs and feet take my weight without letting up on my death grip on the railing. My physical therapy now included walking a bit, when they could get me to care enough to try anyhow, but that was with a walker and a spotter to catch me if my legs gave out. Currently, the silver contraption was across the room in the opposite direction of the phone mounted on the wall. No way could I make double the trip by myself. I only needed to get the cordless handset and make it back to the bed. Simple enough for the able bodied, not so much for me yet. Carefully pinching off the tubing like I’d seen done plenty of times, I managed to get my IV detached. If I couldn’t figure out how to hook it back up, I’d have to make something up later, but first, I had to actually make it to the phone and back again.

It was after a perilous, frightful ordeal, lasting what I swore was a half-hour but was probably closer to five minutes, that I not-so-gracefully climbed back into bed with my prize. I spent a bit attempting to keep my huffing and puffing as shallow as possible, biting back whimpers of pain and squeezing my eyes shut to avoid looking at the now useless button I wanted to push so damn badly. Eventually, my heart rate slowed, the sweat dried on my skin, and I was able to breathe relatively easily again. I held off on reattaching the line for the pain meds—I’d be too tempted to take the edge off, and right then, I needed my faculties about me.

With time running out until someone inevitably checked on me, I was as ready as I was gonna get. With a shaky hand, I dialed the number by memory then closed my eyes as I brought the phone to my ear.

On the third ring, someone picked up the other end just as I thought I heard a sound outside the door. I hid the handset under the sheet while panic made my heart race, but the door didn’t open. Whoever it was must have passed by.

“Hello?” came the tinny voice as I unearthed the handset again. I hurried to speak before they hung up or I lost my nerve.

“Hi, sorry, I dropped the phone,” I fibbed with a wince, not that they could see it. “Is Sylvia there?”

I didn’t recognize the young woman’s voice when she answered me. “She’s in the back. Can I tell her who’s calling?”

I hesitated, then figured refusing to tell her would just be weird. “Yeah, uh, tell her it’s Shelby Ann, please.”

“Sure thing, hon!” The phone rattled when she set it down, and I could hear her yell for Sylvia. A few moments later, my old boss came on the line.

“Shelby dear, is that you?” She sounded wary, and I worried she’d hang up on me.

“It’s me, Sylvia.” I didn’t know how to go on now that I had her on the line. I’d plain frozen up. Thankfully, she filled the beat of silence and gave me a second to breathe.

“Oh, you sound…different,” she said not so tactfully. “How are you doing, dear? I saw the news. Are you okay?” The fire. Shit, I didn’t think this through.

Attempting to gloss over it, I replied, “I’m getting better. It’s been—well, it’s been a lot. I’m trying to get back on my feet once I get out of here and was hoping I might get a reference from you? For work.”

“Shelby Ann, what’s going on? Not to sound indelicate, but I don’t understand why you’d need to work.” Anxiety ran rampant at the gentle censuring tone. She'd only ever used it to take someone to task…or to let them go.

“I-I need to figure out what I’m doing soon. If you’d rather not, I understand.” I hadn’t considered that she might turn me down. My exit plan was falling apart already.

“Shelby, I’m just not sure. You weren’t well before— I’ll be right there!” The rest of what she was saying was muffled, like she’d put the mouthpiece to her chest. I’d seen her do it dozens of times and could almost see her in her apron, juggling the phone and servers alike. When she came back on, she was apologetic. “It’s busy here today, you know how it gets. I know I’m not supposed to bring it up, but if I don’t get to talk to you again, I just want you to know your mama had a real nice send-off. I understand you weren’t well enough to attend the service, and I didn’t mean to cause you upset the last time we spoke, but I just wanted you to know I didn’t forget my promise.”

My hands tingled with shock. “Mama? What are you talking about, Sylvia? Did something happen?” I asked, my grip white-knuckled on the phone.

“Oh, Shelby, I’m sorry I said anything. Your husband, God rest his soul, told me you were having trouble processing it and were quite depressed. Should I call up to the house?” she fretted.

Struggling to understand what she meant by ‘processing it’ and terrified of the consequences if she called Winston Sr., I stammered out a reply. “P-please don’t. The pain medicine makes me fuzzy sometimes. How about we catch up when I get out of the hospital?”

Sylvia’s hesitation had me cursing myself. Dirk had well and truly cut me off from everything. And Mama… I held the tears back by sheer willpower. “Have someone bring you by when you’re well again, Shelby. I’ll fix you up with your favorites.”

I muttered a goodbye and hung up before I broke into chest-racking sobs. She’d turned her back on me, but she was still my mother, or had been, and I hadn’t even known she was gone. He’d, they’d , taken everything from me.

My hand reached for the button, but I could only cry harder when I realized it still wasn’t hooked back up. By the time I managed to reconnect it, I was in agony, body and soul, and I passed out with the phone tangled in the blankets.

***

Shelby

That’s how they found me sometime later. I laid there, listless, while the boys ran to get Blake and inevitably, Gavin. The liars all crowded around me. None of them cared about me, not really. I was a charity case, a novelty and a burden they’d be rid of soon enough if Rafe were to be believed.

I wished they’d just let me die.

“No, that’s not happening on our watch,” River barked out when I voiced my thoughts.

I ignored him and tried to force myself back to sleep. We’d see how well they managed to keep me alive when I didn’t want to be. My whole life was one shitty thing to the next, and I was done with it.