13. Maddison

Maddison

I can’t believe what just went down. Not only did my dumbass make out with River, but I also let him give me an orgasm, and my first one that didn’t involve my own fingers. I want to bitch-smack myself.

I messed up.

And it’s the worst time for me to do that.

On top of that, Finn caught us, and now River seems weirded out.

“Why are you home so late?” River asks Finn, scratching at the back of his neck.

Finn is no longer donning his cloak and is dressed in a long-sleeved green shirt and black pants. If I hadn’t seen him in the field, I’d have guessed he was simply coming back from a dinner date.

“Because I am,” Finn replies while meticulously studying his brother. “You want me to leave so you two can finish up?” He smirks, but it’s cold.

“We already did.” I flash him a mean smile. “But I mean, you can leave if you want and go back to your weird little society ritual in the middle of the track.”

His entire expression crumbles. “What?”

“Yeah, we were out there, and I heard you guys yelling that I was next or whatever.” My smile remains, but it’s hollow and full of anger. “So, what exactly are you going to do to me, Finn?” I fold my arms and stare him down hard.

“Nothing,” River is the one to respond, his gaze fixed firmly on his brother. “I don’t give a shit what this society thinks they’re going to do to Maddy. They won’t get away with it because you’re going to help us, right?”

Finn rolls his tongue in his mouth while thrumming his fingers on top of the table. “I was never planning on letting it happen. I just don’t know what to do yet to stop it.”

I relax a smidgeon. “Why are they even targeting me?”

“Honestly, I’m not sure.” He looks at me then with his brows furrowed. “Eli is the one who threw your name out there, and I tried to stop it from happening, said you weren’t really royal, so what was the point? But I got this feeling he may have an ulterior motive.”

River runs his hand across his face. “Maddy and I got that necklace tonight.”

Finn’s brows marginally raise. “Does that mean she knows everything?”

“She’s right here.” I snap my fingers. “And she can speak for herself.”

Finn presses his lips together as he glues his gaze to me. “So, you know everything?”

“I do,” I replied, tugging at the bottom of my shirt. “And I think this necklace is a fake, but River wants to get it looked at by an appraiser, so …” I shrug.

River and Finn trade a cryptic look that’s mildly annoying.

“Just stop with the looks.” I move past River, drag a chair away from the table, and drop down into it, because my legs are tired. I’m telling myself they are because of the hill climbs, but honestly, the orgasm River gave me still has my muscles feeling like jelly. “Tell me what you’re thinking.” I glance firmly at both of them.

River’s dark eyes sear into me as he deliberates, finally surrendering. “It’s odd you have a necklace that belongs to an alleged deceased family bloodline, that the society is after you, and on top of that, you can no longer get a hold of your aunt, who gave you the necklace. Plus, how you got into the academy is odd. This anonymous person just shows up and gives you the money to go?”

I twist around and rest my arms on the back of the chair. “You anonymously paid my bail.”

“I was going to tell you … eventually,” he replies, fiddling with the drawstring on his pants. “I just didn’t know how.”

“And what would’ve happened if I hadn’t shown up here on the first day?” I question. “Would you have remained anonymous? Or would you have tracked me down?”

He shifts his weight from one foot to another. “I honestly don’t have the answer to that, but there’s a chance I would’ve tracked you down.”

A tightening sensation swells through my chest, not necessarily in a bad way, but in an unfamiliar way.

I angle my head to the side. “You would’ve tracked me down on northside?” I question dubiously.

He hesitantly nods, his gaze never leaving mine. “I may have.”

I want to discuss this further, because it’s a lot to unpack, but Finn ruins the moment.

“I have a few ideas on how to get Maddy off the society’s list,” he announces unnecessarily loud. “But I’ll need a day to look into the rules.” He pushes away from the table. “I’m going to bed. I have an early class.” He starts to cross the room then pauses. “And you two clearly have some things to discuss.”

River’s chest heaves as he sighs.

Finn walks away then, and disappears down the hallway. A second later, a door softly clicks shut.

The silence that follows is awkward at best.

I loathe it, so I decide to end it.

“We don’t have to talk about what happened.” I stand up. “I feel like we got caught in all of the adrenaline, you know with my mom, the guy at the grocery store, and then the society declaring they’re after me.”

His gaze welds to mine, and a line forms between his brows. “You think that’s why”—he motions at the sofa—“we ended up doing that?” He’s dumbfounded at the concept.

And it is pretty dumb, but … “You’re betrothed, and you’ve told me a handful of times that you don’t do this kind of stuff.” I gesture between him and myself. “Because of that, you don’t owe me anything.”

He plunges into silence, a series of unreadable emotions flickering across his face. “I know that.”

“Good. Then we can continue being friends who experimented once with each other.” I force a smile.

Why do those words feel like razors slicing my tongue?

His throat muscles work as he forcefully swallows. “If that’s what you want, then yeah, sure.”

I could rescind my statement, but at the end of this, River will end up with Isla, so getting involved with him would lead to no real future. And that’s not what I want, even if River is the sweetest and most gorgeous guy I’ve ever met.

I nod, and the move is worse than razors slicing my tongue. It feels hollow, like I can feel my impending loneliness creeping up inside me.

He gives an uneven nod, too, and then quietness twirls around us.

“I’m going to go back to my room.” I step toward the front door.

His warm fingers fold around my upper arm, reminding me of how good it felt for him to touch me. “No, it’s not safe,” he insists. “You should stay here. You said we could be friends, and as your friend, I want to protect you.”

Goddammit, why did he have to use that word—protect? It’s so soft and inviting.

I turn my head to look at him. “I don’t need protection. I know how to do that on my own.”

“I know.” With a few steps, he reduces the space between us. “But you don’t have to remain in fight mode, Mads. Like I said earlier, stay the night here and feel safe. What happened between us doesn’t need to change things.” He smiles, the corners of his lips a bit stiff.

He’s trying. And I do want him to remain my friend.

“All right,” I agree. “I’ll stay the night.”

The rigidness of his posture slackens. “Good. You can stay in my bed. No arguing.”

My lips part then shut. I eye him over. “How did you know I was going to argue?”

“I’m catching on to your tricks.” This time, his smile is easy.

It makes me feel better about staying.

Maybe we can do this.

Maybe we can go back to being friends, even after making out and him giving me an orgasm.

He walks me back to his room like a true gentleman.

“Goodnight, Maddy,” he tells me as he starts to close the door. “Sweet dreams.”

I smile, and my lips stay tipped upward even when I climb underneath the covers of his bed. The comforter smells like him, and I attempt to fight the urge to breathe in his scent, but as I begin to doze off, River is what’s on my mind.