Christmas has never been this hot or eventful.

Falling asleep on a bench in the marinas parking lot on Amelia Island was not in my plans for last night. Neither is being woken up by Alex Haddock, former QB for the Jacksonville Rhinos, and a grumpy media nightmare.

I don’t even know who he is. But one thing leads to another, and we end up in the back of his truck for a steamy night. It’s supposed to be just that one time, but now hes here asking me, Livie Sanz, curvy hot mess express and everyones best friend, to be his fake girlfriend so the media thinks hes settling down.

I agree, because—bonus!—it also gets my mom off my back about dying alone.

We have twelve days before Christmas to prove to the world hes reformed, and to prove to my mom that I am capable of picking my own partner. Even if he looks like he could murder someone with his stare.