12. Chapter 12

Chapter twelve

Astrid

“Mommy, why were you talking to God last night?” Lilly asks as she eats her cereal for breakfast.

I nearly spit my coffee all over the kitchen floor. Stuttering, I say, “What?”

“I heard you yelling, ‘Oh God! Oh God!’” She furrows her brow at me. “If you were praying, Mommy, I think you could be a little quieter next time.”

This is what mortification must feel like in its purest form .

It’s Monday morning and Tanya is opening the bakery today, so I didn’t have to be there as early as usual. But it’s the morning after Penn and I finally discussed what is happening between us, and I’m already in a situation I am totally unequipped to handle.

“Uh. I’m sorry,” I reply, still in shock. “I’ll try to keep it down next time.”

“It’s okay, Mommy. I pray sometimes too.”

“Really, baby? What do you pray for?”

“To see Daddy again. ”

And there’s the knife slicing straight through my chest. My eyes travel across the room to a family picture on the wall, staring at the face of the man I should want to see again too.

My brain instantly wonders what he would think about this development between me and Penn.

Yes, I wish Brandon was here for my kids. But in my heart, I know it’s time to let him go so I can move on. If he were still alive, I probably would have moved on a long time ago, and I can’t keep living my life in fear of what other people might think.

Easier said than done, of course.

“I wish you could see Daddy again too, baby. But remember,” I say, walking over to her to press my palm to her heart, “he’s always in here.”

“I don’t want to go to school,” she says suddenly, changing the subject out of nowhere.

“Well, I’m sorry. But if you don’t go to school, then Mommy goes to jail. And we don’t want that.”

She tilts her head at me, considering this scenario. “If you go to jail, will we live with Uncle Penn?”

“What?” I ask her, surprised.

“I think it would be fun to live with Uncle Penn. He always has candy and games for us to play, and he kisses my boo-boos when I get hurt.”

Maybe getting Lilly on board with the idea of Penn and me dating won’t be a challenge after all. Convincing Bentley, on the other hand… Something tells me that’s not going to be quite as easy.

“Are there anymore waffles?” Bentley asks as he stumbles into the kitchen, his dark hair still a mess from his sleep, but at least he’s dressed.

“There should be some in the freezer,” I tell him.

He moves to the freezer and pulls it open. “Are they chocolate chip? ”

“Yes.”

“I don’t want chocolate chip. I want blueberry.”

“Well, we eat what we have.”

He slams the door shut and heads back toward his room. “Ugh. I just won’t eat then.”

Taking a deep breath, I blow out my frustration and remind myself that he’s just a kid, even though sometimes my children can feel like mental terrorists, eager to see just how far they can push me until I snap. And as I wait for my mother to arrive to take them to school, I wonder whether things might be easier if I had someone by my side to help handle it all, someone who’s been there through everything anyway and knows what this life is like. Someone like Penn.

***

“What are you doing in here?” The chime above the front door of the shop rings just as Willow steps inside.

“What? Am I not allowed to come visit you?” Her voice is almost an octave higher than normal, so I know she has an ulterior motive. We may not have been friends for very long, but I’d say I already have a pretty good read on Willow.

“You are, but it’s Monday, and I usually see you on Saturdays for your weekend supply of blueberry muffins.” I move toward the case, ready to fill a box for her, but she stops me.

“Fine. I’m not here for muffins. I’m here to see how it went with Penn last night.”

“Willow!” My eyes dart over to the customers sitting at the table in the corner. I don’t recognize them, so I’m pretty sure they’re tourists, but I don’t want to take any chances. “Don’t say stuff like that out loud,” I chastise through a whisper.

“Why?”

I wave her behind the counter and motion for her to follow me back to my office. Tanya and Anthony are frosting a cake for a special order, and Vanessa is washing dishes. “Vanessa, can you please watch the front for a few minutes? I’m going to talk to Willow really quick in my office.”

“Sure, Astrid. No problem.” She wipes her hands dry and then heads out to the front of the shop.

When Willow and I are securely behind my office door, she turns to me, her arms crossed over her chest. “What’s going on?”

I look up at the ceiling in contemplation. “I just don’t want to talk about Penn around other people.”

“Why not?” And then her eyes widen. “Oh, God. Did things not go well?”

I fight back my smile. “No, they did. But we’re keeping things quiet for now.” And avoiding talking about the elephant in the room, but I can’t go there just yet.

Willow claps her hands together. “Oh my God!”

“Shhh! I don’t want Anthony and Tanya to hear you.”

“Sorry, but can I just tell you how excited Dallas and I are?”

My smile falls. “What? Dallas knows?”

“Yeah.” Willow stares at me with a pinch in her brow. “Did Penn not tell you?”

“Tell me what?” My pulse is wild as I wait for her to continue.

“Dallas was the one that told him to, in his terms, ‘shit or get off the pot’ where it concerns you. Penn was about to punch Richard Cockwell in the face when he came into the restaurant one night, and that’s when Dallas told him he’d better do something about his feelings for you before he lost you.”

My hand comes up to my mouth. “Oh my God.”

“I told you, Astrid…we all saw it. We knew how he felt about you, which is why I thought it was so crazy that you didn’t.”

“I didn’t allow myself to see it,” I admit in a whisper.

“Now you do though, right?”

“Yes…”

“And you two are going to see where it goes?”

“Yeah.” I swallow hard, still not resolute in how I feel. I know what my heart and body want, but my head is having a hard time catching up. “But like I said, we’re keeping it under wraps for right now. With the grand reopening next week and Penn starting his new business, we don’t want our personal lives to interfere with our business and reputations. You know how people can talk in this town.”

Willow huffs out a laugh. “Um, yeah. I’m aware. The longer I live here, the more I learn about myself from other people.”

“Really? What are they saying?”

“That Dallas knocked me up and that’s why I’m staying. That I’m on the run from the law and I’m hiding out in Carrington Cove. Or my favorite…that I’m actually one of those undercover bosses and I’m here to shut down Dallas’s restaurant, but I decided to date him first.”

Laughing, I say, “Where the hell do people come up with this stuff?”

“The hell if I know, girl.” Willow shrugs. “Whatever. The important thing is to not let people’s opinions dictate your happiness.”

“I’m not,” I say, moving my attention to some papers on my desk. But Willow stops me and forces me to look at her.

“Astrid… ”

“I just need some time, Willow.” I can feel the tears building but I blink them away. “I’m crazy about Penn. In fact, I didn’t know what I was missing. Being with him is…”

“Life-changing,” she finishes for me.

“Yes. But it’s also terrifying. And I need to decide how to talk to him about everything that I’m feeling. I don’t want to mess that up.”

She nods. “Then take your time, but promise me that you’ll be honest with him eventually.”

There was so much I wanted to say last night, so many concerns and thoughts that have been plaguing me. But as soon as he kissed me, the words left my brain. Only after we had sex was I reminded of everything we have to face, but then he told me how long he’s wanted this, how much he cares about me.

I didn’t want to dampen the moment. I didn’t want to ruin the high.

So I kept it all in, letting my anxiety fester yet again. But the orgasms definitely helped me sleep, so there is an upside to all of this.

“I will,” I say, coming back to our conversation.

“Then in the meantime, enjoy all the sex.” She bounces her eyebrows up and down, releasing her hand from my arm.

Giggling, I say, “Oh, believe me. I don’t think that will be a problem.”

She smiles brightly. “I’m so happy for you. Now I bet you can’t wait for Hazel’s passion party, huh?”

I slap my palm to my forehead. “Shit. That’s next Saturday, right?”

“Yup. And then the benefit is two weeks after that.”

“Ugh. And the grand reopening is one week from today, then it’s Thanksgiving. I can’t keep anything straight right now.”

Penn has not only scrambled my emotions, but my sense of time as well .

She reaches out to rub my arm again. “It will be fine. Focus on the reopening right now, and the rest can wait. Is there anything I can do to help?”

“Yeah. Do you know someone that can do some printing for me in less than a week?” I say, knowing I need new menus, business cards, and other marketing materials for the reopening with the new name of the bakery.

She takes out her cell phone, her thumbs poised over the screen. “Absolutely. Just tell me what you want and your wish is my command.”

“You’re like my own personal genie.”

“Damn straight. And you don’t even have to rub me the right way to get what you need.”

***

Penn lets out another yawn as he slides his card in front of Lilly. It’s game night and we’re playing Kids Create Absurdity. It’s basically Cards Against Humanity, but a kid-friendly version.

“You okay over there?”

He nods. “Yeah. I’m fine. Why?”

I tilt my head at him. “Because you can’t stop yawning.”

He covers up his mouth as another yawn escapes. “It’s just been a long week.”

I want to press him further, but Lilly starts reading off the cards in front of her and chooses Bentley’s card, crowning him as the winner. “Aw, man! ”

Bentley stands up from his chair and does a celebratory dance. “Heck yeah! It’s all about knowing your audience,” he explains to the three of us.

“I don’t like this game,” Lilly whines.

“You don’t like any game when you lose,” Bentley replies.

“Hey, hey. That’s enough. Go get ready for bed, please.” The kids head toward their rooms, leaving Penn and me alone. I stand from my chair and circle the table, standing over him, studying his face. “You sure you’re okay?”

His lazy smile spreads and then his eyes bounce all over my body as he lifts his arm and wraps it around my waist. “I’m good, Astrid. Better now that we’re alone.”

“In about ten minutes we’ll be even more alone.” I push his hair from his forehead.

“Can’t wait.”

Lilly comes down the hallway and back into the dining room, so I jump away from Penn before she notices. “Uncle Penn? Can you tuck me in tonight?”

Penn stands from his chair, groaning as he stretches his body. “Of course, Lilly Bear.”

When both kids are tucked in their beds, Penn meets me in my room, shutting the door softly behind him. He takes a few steps over to where I’m standing, cups my face in his hands, and presses his lips to mine reverently, so slowly and softly that my entire body melts.

“Fuck. I missed these lips.” He cups me between my legs. “And this pussy. I need to fucking taste you.”

A whimper escapes my lips. “Why are you so tired?” I mumble against his mouth.

“Work,” he answers between nips of my lips, unbuttoning my pants and pushing them down along with my underwear. I step out of them and reach for the bottom of his shirt, pushing it up as he reaches behind his head and rips it from his body.

“Does this have anything to do with the house you bought?”

His head pops up now, our mouths fully detached. “Uh. Yeah.”

“We need to talk about that,” I tell him, not sure if bringing this up now is the best option, but the longer I watched him tonight, the more worried I became that he has way too much on his plate.

“I bought a house,” he says bluntly.

Rolling my eyes, I say, “I know that. And your business plan is incredible, Penn. But are you sure you’re not taking on too much? I’ve never seen you this exhausted.” Sure, I’ve seen him tired before, but this level of fatigue can’t be healthy.

Sighing, he releases my face and moves over to the bed, sitting on the edge and then tossing his entire body back, covering his face with his arm. “I’m handling it.”

I take a seat next to him, dragging my nails across his stomach, tracing each of his abs. “Are you sure you can’t cut back some?”

“Yes, Astrid. There are people counting on me, and I can’t let them down. It won’t be like this forever.” He lifts his arm from his eyes and pulls me down to him before he twists me on my back. “But I don’t want to talk about work. I need to fucking taste you. I’ve been thinking about it all week.” His mouth meets mine and I let our conversation go because each time we touch, my brain shuts off—which is surprising because I never feel like it does.

Penn drags his mouth down my body, pushing up my shirt to play with my breasts through my bra before kissing my pussy and pushing my legs open wide. When his tongue drags through me, I moan and then cover my mouth with my hand. If I have to explain my bedroom noises to my daughter again, I just might die .

“So fucking wet,” Penn mumbles against my core, spearing me with his tongue, lapping up every ounce of my arousal.

I bury my hands in his hair and gasp when his tongue touches my clit. “Oh fuck.”

He doesn’t let up, circling my clit with measured strokes, pushing two fingers inside of me, filling and stretching me so perfectly. And when he curls those fingers and strokes me deep inside, my orgasm slams into me so fast I can barely take in a breath.

“Oh God, oh God!” I whisper-shout, my chest heaving, my legs trembling from the pleasure rolling through my body. When I release his hair from my fingers, Penn crawls up my body, kissing my skin as he makes his way to my mouth. And then I taste myself on his tongue.

“Fuck, Astrid.”

I stroke him through his jeans, hard and straining against the denim while our eyes remain locked on one another. Before he says another word, I push him back on the bed, crawl over his legs, and pop the button on his pants, shoving them down his hips along with his briefs so his cock bobs up, long and proud.

God, I love his cock.

As I get in position, Penn lifts his head from the bed and watches me. “Astrid…” he groans when my tongue circles the head of his dick. “Fuck. So good, baby.” I take him in deeper and he lets out a groan that makes goosebumps spread over my body. “So fucking good.”

My mouth slides down his length as far as I can go. I suck, lick, and stroke him while listening for his cues. Heavy breathing fills the room as he buries his hand in my hair. “Jesus. Yeah, keep doing that,” he says when I flick the underside of his head with my tongue over and over and then take him in my mouth again. “Ah, fuck. I’m almost there.” He taps on my cheek. “Astrid, I’m gonna… ”

Nodding, I give him permission to lose it. I’ve never swallowed in my life, but with Penn, I want to. I want to watch him fall apart for me and feel it for myself.

“Shit. I’m coming,” he says, and with our eyes locked, his cum fills my mouth. I swallow it as fast as I can, making sure he rides out his release.

When he’s done, I swallow and then crawl up his body, resting my head on his chest as his hands stroke my back. “Jesus, Astrid. I think I blacked out there for a minute.”

A giggle escapes my lips but then he pulls me up further and kisses me softly, turning me to my back again. After a few moments, we dress again—me in my pajamas this time—and I lie next to him and curl into his chest, breathing him in, enjoying the warmth of his body.

It’s been so long since I’ve had someone in bed with me, holding me, cherishing me. And the fact that it’s Penn takes the entire experience to another level. With our arms wrapped around each other, we lie there in silence and within minutes, I hear Penn’s breathing grow steadier. I lift my head and look down at him, finding him fast asleep.

I should wake him. He can’t stay the night, but he obviously needs rest. So I lie back down, watch him sleep, stroke his chest with my hand, and curl into his warmth, vowing to wake him up in an hour.

Only an hour turns into seven, and the sound of my daughter’s voice wakes us both up in a panic.

“Uncle Penn?”

My eyes shoot open, and then my body follows as I launch myself up from the bed. Penn stirs next to me, but I put my hand on his stomach to keep him flat on the mattress.

“Lilly? What are you doing up?”

“The sky’s awake,” she says, quoting Frozen. “Why is Uncle Penn in your bed? ”

Sweat instantly builds and slides down my spine. Oh my God. How do I handle this?

“I had a sleepover,” Penn says groggily as he slowly sits up and rubs the sleep from his eyes. Thank God he put his shirt back on last night. “Your mommy knew I was too tired to drive, so she let me stay the night.”

She tilts her head at us in contemplation, and I know it’s only a matter of seconds before she calls bullshit. But she stuns us both and says, “Can I have breakfast?”

I let out the breath I was holding. “Yeah, baby. I’ll be in the kitchen in a minute.”

“Okay. Next time, Uncle Penn, you should bring your pajamas if we’re gonna have a sleepover.” And then she races out to the living room to partake in her morning ritual of watching cartoons.

I turn to Penn and he’s smirking. “This is not funny.”

“It’s a little funny,” he says through a chuckle.

“No. It could have been so much worse. What if we had been naked?”

He places his hand against my cheek. “But we weren’t.”

“I didn’t mean to fall asleep against you. I was just going to let you rest a minute and then I was going to wake you up. But…”

“But?” His brow arches.

I lean forward and press my lips to his. “You were so warm and it felt good to have you next to me.”

He nuzzles my neck with his nose. “I agree. Perhaps we can plan another sleepover that doesn’t involve clothes.”

I groan and stand up from the bed. “Not with how crazy my life is right now. I just need to get through the next couple of weeks.”

“I know the feeling.” When Penn stands, he stretches his hands above his head and then to the side, granting me the perfect view of his abs and happy trail. My vagina instantly wakes up and remembers what we did last night, requesting a replay. “I need to get going. Mrs. Hansen is going to wonder where I am if I don’t get to the hardware store soon.”

“You sure you’re okay, Penn? That you don’t have too much on your plate?”

Penn clears his throat and moves around me, avoiding my eyes. “I’m fine, Astrid.”

“Okay.” I want to believe him, but I know this man. He’s too stubborn to ask for help and you can’t tell him what he needs until he figures it out on his own.

I follow him out to the kitchen where he left his keys on the counter. Lilly is sitting there with a bowl and spoon ready for cereal, and when I glance at the clock, I realize I have thirty minutes to shower and get ready to head for the bakery. My mother should arrive any moment, and the last thing I need is for her to see Penn still here. I haven’t discussed the shift in our dynamic with her yet. Not until I’m more secure in it myself.

“I wanna have a sleepover with Ryan,” Lilly says, catching me and Penn both off guard.

“What? Why?”

“He’s my friend,” she answers dryly.

“But he’s a boy,” I counter.

“Uncle Penn is a boy and he slept over…”

Bentley chooses to enter the kitchen at this moment, confusion on his face as soon as he sees Penn. “Uncle Penn? What are you doing here?”

“Uncle Penn had a sleepover last night,” Lilly answers him. “That must be why Mommy wasn’t praying so loud again.” She shoots a look over at Penn. “She was talking to God the other night and she was really loud.”

Penn starts coughing. “Oh shit.”

I shove his back, pushing him toward the door. “You should really be going.”

Bentley looks around the kitchen, his brows drawn together. “Why is everyone acting so weird this morning?”

When Penn turns around, the grin on his lips is lethal. God, he’s so handsome. I want to kiss him, jump into his arms and let him make me talk to God again, but…kids.

“I’ll call you later,” he says, winking at me for good measure. “P.S. I told you not to be so loud the other night.”

“Go to work.” I open the door and push him outside as he laughs.

“Have a good day, Astrid.” He drags his eyes up and down my body and then he smirks at me before jumping in his truck and driving away.

And as I watch him go, I wonder if this is what it would be like every morning if I just gave us a shot to be together out in the open, if I could find the courage to bridge that gap between friendship and something more—because choosing to be more than friends is something different than what we’ve been so far. This time both of our hearts are on the line, and I’m not sure that I’m ready for the chance to be hurt again.

***

“It is with great honor as the mayor of Carrington Cove that I get to celebrate the grand reopening of a landmark in our town.” Tyler Lexington, our longtime mayor, stands right beside me on the small stage right outside of my shop. Tons of people from the town are gathered outside, making my grand reopening a much larger spectacle than I anticipated.

When I glance over at Willow standing proudly in Dallas’s arms, I have a feeling I know who to thank for that.

“The Sunshine Bakery fed the stomachs and hearts of our citizens for over forty years, but now it’s time for a new legacy to take shape. Smells Like Sugar is officially a new staple in our town, and Astrid Cooper has shown us all what hard work and a dream can get you.”

The crowd breaks out into applause as the mayor hands me a giant pair of scissors. He motions for me to cut the pink ribbon stretched across the entrance to the shop. When the metal slices through the fabric, the crowd goes wild and I feel my cheeks grow hot. “Congratulations, Astrid. I wish you an abundance of success.”

Tyler shakes my hand, his eyes beaming with genuine excitement for me. Then, I find Penn in the crowd, clapping enthusiastically with those giant hands. We lock eyes, and the fierce look of pride in his expression sends my heart soaring. And in this moment, I allow myself to be proud too.

Brandon never supported this.

But Penn does . He always did. He encourages me to explore who I truly am.

God, why does this have to feel so good and awful at the same time?

As the crowd begins to thin out, many head to the bakery and form a line out the door. When I slip inside, I am instantly bombarded with people coming up to congratulate me, commenting on how much they love the new look of the place and the new menu items.

Willow came through for me with fresh marketing materials and my employees can’t hand them out fast enough. The tables are full, boxes are being filled to the brim with new cupcake flavors and muffins, and the fancy new cappuccino machine I bought is getting put to good use.

“Are you happy with the turnout?” Willow asks, stepping up to my side once I finish talking with a customer.

“This is insane. I’m going to sell out before noon.”

She nudges me playfully. “That’s not a bad thing.”

“I know.” I take in a deep breath and smile. “This is just so wild.”

“You deserve this, Astrid,” she says, just as Penn and Dallas walk up to us. “And you deserve him too.”

I smack her arm. “Shhh.”

“Still keeping things under wraps?” she whispers as Dallas pulls her into his chest.

“The place looks amazing, Astrid. Congratulations,” my former boss says, halting our conversation.

“Thank you. But it was all Penn.”

The man in question steps up beside me and I nearly gasp when I feel his hand on the small of my back.

Did I imagine that? He knows we’re trying to be discreet, so why on earth would he make a move like that in public?

“It was your vision, Astrid,” Penn says.

I glance over to see how Tanya, Anthony, and Vanessa are managing the crowd, but the distinct pressure of Penn’s fingers on my spine makes me jump.

“Uh, yeah. But you did the work.” I take a step away from him and brush my hair from my face. “I need to go help out. I’ll catch up with you guys later, okay?” But I don’t wait for them to answer before scurrying behind the counter, checking the display cases and making note of what we need more of.

I’m in the kitchen, grabbing an oven mitt to take a tray out of the warmer, when I feel someone behind me. And by the way my body responds, I know exactly who it is. Penn wraps his arms around my waist from behind, inhaling against my neck. “I’m so fucking proud of you.”

I take the tray out and set it on one of the metal counters behind me with him still attached to me. “Thank you, but this is not the place for you to be so affectionate"

He steps back, his brow pinched, and gestures to the empty room. “We’re all alone, Astrid.”

“Yes, but there are eyes everywhere and one of my employees could come in here any minute.”

Hurt flashes across his eyes, but I can’t worry about that right now. My body is on high alert. This day, this moment was years in the making, and I can’t risk ruining it with a scandal that tarnishes my reputation.

Not today.

“We talked about this, Penn,” I say when he continues to stare at me. “This needs to stay between us for now. Bentley is finally getting back to normal, Lilly hasn’t asked any more questions, thank God, but I don’t want her to get more suspicious. Today is a huge day for the bakery and I have that benefit to worry about. The last thing I need is added stress.”

I can see him struggle with wanting to fight me on this, but thankfully, he surrenders. Smart man. “Fine. Just promise me you’ll take out your stress on my dick when you need to.” I roll my eyes as he steps up to me again, gripping my waist once more and leaning his head close to mine. “And while we’re on the topic, when were you going to tell me about this benefit, huh? I had to find out about it from Willow.”

I scowl at him. “I’m sorry, but when was I supposed to talk to you about that? While we were fucking? ”

The smirk he gives me makes me wet instantly. I’m annoyed, but I love that even though our relationship has shifted, we’re still not afraid to call each other on our shit.

“You could have told me that between all of the ‘oh my God’s,’ for sure.”

I push against his chest, but he just pulls me in closer. “Stop it.”

“I can’t. I love hearing you scream for me. It’s become my new favorite sound.”

I draw in a deep breath and let out a moan as he dips his head down and kisses my neck. “We can’t do this here, Penn. Please…”

“Fine. But tonight, you’re mine. Make time, call your mom. Hell, I’ll tell my mom to go over and watch the kids. But I need to taste you again. I need to hear you scream.” He lifts his head and looks me straight in the eyes. “I need a reminder that this is real.”

Oh, this is so real .

“I’ll try,” I whisper before he lunges for my mouth, tangling his tongue with mine.

“Don’t try, Astrid. Make it happen. I know you can make shit happen when you set your mind to it. I mean, hell…we are making out in the kitchen of your bakery, aren’t we?”

“Shut up.”

He huffs out a laugh. “I can’t. In fact, I have many more words to say to you that I think you’ll love.”

“Like what?” I ask breathlessly.

“You’ll just have to wait to find out.” When Penn lets go of me, I turn to grab the tray of Danishes, and that’s when I lock eyes with Richard Cockwell through the small window of the kitchen door.

Oh God. He must have seen us.

My stomach drops and the tray in my hands nearly does too. I scramble to steady it, narrowly avoiding a dessert disaster. I look back at the window and Richard is gone.

“I’ll see you later,” I tell Penn, and before he can respond, I hurriedly carry the tray out to the front, my heart pounding violently.

Richard steps up to the counter and I swallow hard. Before he can call me out on what he saw, I speak first. “Hi, Richard! It’s so good to see you!” My voice is about three octaves too high and my smile must look deranged, but I’m going to fake it till I make it.

“Congratulations, Astrid. You’ve done a great job with the place.” He returns my smile, giving me hope that maybe he didn’t see anything incriminating after all. But I’m still on my guard.

“Thank you. And thank you for coming.”

“You know I had to come in to sample the new cupcakes...and get a look around.” He winks at me, and a shiver runs down my spine. He rattles off what flavors he wants as I start filling his box. “How have things been?”

“Crazy to say the least, and I don’t expect things to slow down until we get through the holiday season.” I move to the register and he follows me.

“Well, I wish you all the success. You deserve it.” Just then, Penn returns from the back of the bakery, glancing in our direction. Richard and I are both watching him as he heads back outside to join Dallas and Willow. I clear my throat, but Richard speaks. “You know, I’m still disappointed we never got that date.”

“I know…”

He hands me his card and looks me dead in the eye. “But at least now I know the real reason why.”

A lump lodges itself in my throat. “I’m sorry…I didn’t plan this,” I croak out, my voice low so other people don’t hear me.

“Your business is your own, Astrid. I guess I should just be glad I found out sooner rather than later. I mean, part of me always wondered about you and...” He shrugs. “Whatever makes you happy, I guess. Wasn’t Penn your late husband’s best friend, though?” he asks pointedly, rubbing salt in the wound.

I shakily hand his card back to him and slide the box across the counter. “Yes, but—”

“Sounds messy,” he interjects, cutting me off. “But good luck.” With a nod, he grabs his box and heads for the door, leaving me standing there in shock, wondering how I was truly na?ve enough to believe that Penn and I could stay a secret, and what the fallout’s going to be.