41. daegan

41

DAEGAN

It's been a week since I last saw Alessia. A week without her is worse than the nightmares I succumb to every time my mind goes to rest for the night. She left to go back to the States, as ordered by her boss, and Admiral Ravenmore made sure to stamp the final okay for her to leave her deployment early with consequences.

She knows I'm married. She doesn't need me anymore.

She doesn't want me anymore.

But I need her. I want her. Even though she's across an ocean from me, she will never be too far away. Her magnetic pull is detrimental and fatal; I will never be able to stay away from her. The overwhelming urge to make sure she's okay is an obsession I can't shake.

I tried to fight my way out of the hospital bed. It took five security officers to take me down. If it weren't for my weak health, I would have been able to break free and see Alessia again. I could have grabbed her and made her listen to me before she left.

But my blood loss was too much. I ended up fainting again after being strapped down. I tore out the IV, making blood drip everywhere, and I needed more medication and blood to be pumped back in.

Kane hasn't updated me at all. After numerous text messages, I wanted to know how she was doing. He informed me he had to take her back to the States. Her boss and my boss found out because of Guerra, and it created a significant problem.

They sent her back home, and I know she hates me for not only lying to her about being married, but now her job is at risk.

It's good that she despises me.

I deserve it.

"Close the door, Creature!" Ravenmore roars as he sits at his desk. He takes off his reading glasses and places them on his desk. He throws them, and they hit a photo frame.

I stand my ground.

"Before you say anything, Sir. Before you decide to throw questions at me or accusations, I need to say something first. Yes, yes, my relationship with your stepdaughter became romantic. I overstepped. But to be fair, she is an adult. She can make her own choices. No, I am not a good man. But for her…I've been nothing but good to her."

"I'm disappointed, Hannibal. I want to suspend you. I must suspend you." He stands up, pissed off. His shoulders tense underneath his clothes, and he walks away from me and stares out his window—a picture of Alessia, and he sits on a shelf to the left.

I'm tempted to take it and steal it from my boss's office. I want all the pictures of that gorgeous girl who wants nothing to do with me. I don't give a fuck.

There's a shift in the Admiral, and I'm prepared to take it on.

"Creature…my fucking daughter?!" He gets into my face and snarls in fury. I stand my ground and don't respond as he yells.

"Out of the entire team, you were the one I didn't have to fucking worry about!"

I stare at the wall, standing behind him as he continues to shout.

He throws a pile of books off his desk, and they hit the other side of the wall. He breathes hard, and I stay calm.

"You're married, for Christ's sake!"

I swallow as he continues to bellow out. His face reddening as he throws the facts in my face.

"I am," I tell him. My voice is as cold as my heart.

"She's my little girl!" He throws a glass at the wall, and it shatters.

He goes rigid. He stares at the broken glass and holds his breath like he's trying to talk his own demons down.

I am married.

I did fuck up.

The Admiral clears his throat and takes in another deep breath. As soon as he is more calm, he speaks.

"The team needs you. Whatever you shared with Alessia is over. I don't want your name or hers to reach my desk again, Creature." He rubs his peppered scruff over his chin, deep into his pensive thoughts. He stares outside the window, overlooking an Army formation of soldiers ready to be dismissed for the day.

I nod, and a victorious smile paints my masked face.

"I'm going to suspend you. You will not get special treatment from me." Ravenmore concedes his outburst and rubs his temples.

"Then do it. Do what you must. I broke orders. I acted unprofessionally, and for that, I am sorry. It's not like me. I always place the mission first. I promise it won't happen again." I stand my ground, placing my hands behind my back, and get lost in the memories.

Stalking her for work, stabbing Frankie for her, putting my own job at risk when that's all that's mattered to me since I joined the SEALS.

I'm not sure I want to fix this. I think Alessia and I have done enough. I haven't reached out, but seeing how pissed Ravenmore is makes me rethink everything.

Should I let her go?

Ravenmore paces back and forth for what feels like an entire minute. Work always comes first, and I can't let our relationship get in between anything anymore…maybe this is all for the best, and I won't see her anymore.

Ravenmore's co-worker enters the room, looking up at me. He's a short, older man who is wearing his uniform. It has too many medals for me to count, and he sits in a chair, staring at me like I'm a piece of shit.

Well, I guess I am. There's no denying that.

Admiral looks at his co-worker and then back at me before sitting back on his desk.

"I need you on this next mission, but then I'm sending you back home until our investigation ends. I don't know how long, but your skills are needed for this next mission that your name is already on. And then—" He sips his bourbon and sighs heavily.

And then?

I want to say it, but I feel like my soul is dead already, and the old me that doesn't like to talk overcomes my ability to do so.

"And then it's back to North Carolina, Creature." I'm about to leave, but Ravenmore's cold voice, I'm not used to hearing, stops me.

"Promise me that it's over. Whatever you were doing with my stepdaughter is over."

I hesitate. Not knowing how to answer it.

I want to tell him to fuck off.

I want to tell him that I like to lick his daughter's pussy, and there's not a damn thing he can do to stop me.

That's when it hits me.

I clench my teeth, and I'm desperate to pull out my bullet.

I'm a married man.

I shouldn't.

I can't, and I won't.

And I will put a stop to this.

My obsession is getting to me.

The truth of my established career shouts at me. Operator Grim Reaper's absence reminds me that having a family doesn't interest me.

It fucking doesn't.

Danny Rider changed.

I will not.

I've done enough.

I look back at Ravenmore.

"I promise it's over," I tell him truthfully.