40. alessia

40

ALESSIA

Daegan passed out on me. How I was able to stop him from tumbling to the floor is beyond me. I laid him back down on the bed, and he went unconscious. He was pale.

As soon as I got dressed, I ran for Kane. I didn't need to explain anything, and I'm grateful Kane didn't ask. He's the only one who knows about us and hasn't told a soul.

He helped me call a medical team, and they were able to put him on a stretcher and rush him to the on-base hospital.

This is the third time I come to visit, but this time, things are different. There are restraints on his wrist, pinning him down to the bed.

They said it was because, for the first time last night, he woke up but became extremely aggressive with the nurses and doctors. They don't know how to calm him down. They don't know him like I do. They need to approach him softly, not with needles or forced sedation.

His monitor beeps peacefully. His heart rate is normal for a 6'6 mass of a man passing out after losing a lot of blood. He's been out for two days, and it's been hard not to expose our relationship. I feel like there have been whispers and eyes on me ever since he got hospitalized by the medical staff and even my co-workers.

It could just be my paranoia. Or his stubbornness just may have exposed our no-strings-attached relationship because he refused to get medical attention when he was supposed to.

If I could have it my way, I would never leave his side until he woke up. I want to be the first person he sees when he opens his eyes, but if I am, then everyone will definitely know that there's something going on between us.

So, every time I come to visit, it's with Kane by my side, escorting me since he's still on PSD for me. That hasn't changed. I stay as long as I can and then leave with Kane, hoping it won't make anything obvious. Worrying about the person who has been assigned to protect you shouldn't be a crime. Right?

"Slaughter."

"Yes, Valentin?" He props his head from his phone.

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"For not saying anything. For keeping our secret." I motion towards Daegan and me with my finger.

"Of course. Creature and Lopez are the only ones that didn't judge me or shun me off the team once shit hit the fan with Grim's girl. He doesn't say much. And when he does, it's cryptic and morbid. His dark humor is a mask. He doesn't let anyone in, but for some reason…he let you in. He did with you, and I don't want to fuck with that. We all deserve a love that's worth bleeding for…even if it's forbidden, complicated, and chaotic."

"Kane. I really hope you've found the one with this girl. You're too kind. and if she breaks your heart, I will hunt her down myself." I joke, nudging him with my shoulder playfully.

He laughs, and his warm smile radiates with sunshine and bliss. His dark lashes blink rapidly, and he scrolls through his phone, quickly like he wants to show me something. Finally, he lifts it so I can see the screen.

It's a selfie. A picture of Kane and his girlfriend. He holds her close as he wears a black beanie, his beard grown out, and her hand on his chest. They're in Bloomings, North Carolina. I can tell by the background on the phone. That Navy base will always be familiar to me.

Then he pulls out a ring from his pocket, and a beautiful oval-shaped, bright, glimmering diamond shines underneath the white hospital lighting. He holds it in between his fingers like it's the most delicate thing in the world, and I gasp. My vision blurs with tears.

My mouth falls open, and the tears threaten to fall down my cheeks. God, I hate myself for being a hopeless romantic. Things like engagements and weddings always pull at my heartstrings. I'm not sure if I ever want to be married after Jack, but something tells me that if I meet the right person, maybe I can. Maybe with someone who makes me forget I'm broken.

"She is the one. I knew it the first time I kissed her. When we met, she was a single mom. My girlfriend and her son are everything to me now." He swipes left, and it's another picture of the three of them together. Kane carries him in his arms while his girlfriend holds his arm in the middle of a soccer stadium. "Little man is about to be five years old. He says he wants to be a SEAL like me. He's the cutest thing."

"That poor boy wants to be a SEAL like you? Does he know you have shitty aim?" Daegan starts to twitch. His deep voice sends a shock into my system, almost paralyzing me with happiness. The muscles on his arms flicker, and a low, dry groan escapes his throat. His dark hair is messy, and the scars on one side of his face move as he frowns.

He's waking up.

"Oh my God, you're awake." I jump out of my seat and hug him. I hold him over numerous wires and his IV. He winces underneath my touch and groans harder.

I wasn't expecting him to wake up so soon. The nurses warned us he may have needed another blood transfusion, leaving me in a constant state of anxiety and distress. I pull back, apologizing as I take off his restraints. Before I can control my emotions, I kiss his cheek urgently and brush my knuckles over his scars.

He likes it when I do that. I know he does. He loves it when I touch his scars.

"Why the fuck am I wearing this dress?" He opens his eyes for a split second before he slams his vision shut and pulls on his hospital gown like he wants to tear it off.

Kane chuckles in the corner while I hold his hand excitedly.

"Alessia…" he murmurs, swallowing after he says my name in that same tone that drives me crazy and wild. His eyes are still closed as he shifts in the hospital bed.

"Daegan," tears fall down my cheek, and I try to get a hold of my emotions as I look at him. He finally regains more energy and squints in my direction. He lays his head down on the pillow, and his Adams apple rolls. A smirk crosses his handsome face, and I melt. I've missed that sinful grin of his. I missed it way too much. I almost lost him because he downplayed his injuries and Rooker's orders to get looked at.

"Rooker told Kane what happened. I'm still so upset with you for being so stubborn." I shake my head before I kiss his lips. But this time, Daegan's tired lips move against mine. I kiss him hard, needing him to know how grateful I am that he's awake, talking, and, most of all, alive.

"I need to be more stubborn, then." He tells me as he kisses me deeper, bringing his IV hand to my hair and stroking it like he's praising me for caring about him. I rub his arm soothingly, touching his muscled, tattooed arm, getting lost in this moment. His beard pricking against my mouth and?—

"Oh, I-I'll come back later, then." Guerra's stunned, shaky voice pops our bubble of reunion, and I cringe internally.

Oh, no.

Shit.

Oh, no.

I got lost in the moment. Kane got lost in the moment, too, covering his eyes with his hands jokingly, and didn't warn us either.

Kane and I turn toward Guerra. She stands there like a statue in her uniform as if she were watching a crash happen before her. She runs her rigid hand over her tightly gelled brown hair in a locked bun. She blinks rapidly, skipping on her feet like she doesn't know where to escape. Finally, she turns left and leaves as I try to process the events. I try to follow after her, with my reddened cheeks to match hers, but I catch the Get Better long note she was going to give Daegan, which is thrown to the floor.

I grip it in my hands, doing my best not to read it, but in big letters are overly friendly comments and her number on the bottom. I didn't know she was crushing this hard on Daegan. I'm hoping our friendship is enough for her not to look at me any differently.

"Guerra!" I call out after her just as a doctor comes in with a very confused face. I back away from the door, watching her turn down the busy hospital hallway full of other nurses and service members, and she disappears.

One crisis at a time.

I walk back into the room and stand by Kane, cleaning my lips off with my palm and doing anything and everything to erase the evidence of our shared kiss and play it cool.

The tall man in a white coat walks in with a chart. His black pepper hair shines back, and he has dark under eyes. Doctor Diaz is clear as day on his name tag.

"Chief petty officer, Hannibal. I'm Doctor Diaz. I'm pleased to see that you're awake. That's a very good thing." His positive attitude paints his tone as well.

A nurse with bright eyes and tattoos on her sleeve walks in, and her lips curve into a giddy smile when she spots Daegan. She stands next to Daegan, looking at him and then his monitor. She assesses his wound and looks pleased when she covers up the bandage again.

"Ah, Lori, what a pleasant surprise. I'm so happy we get to meet again in the same conditions. Small world, don't you think?" He teases her and winks at me.

I shake my head at him. How can he be so calm right now, while I want to hide under a bed now that someone who isn't Kane caught us?

"We shouldn't be meeting under these circumstances, Hannibal. Your team needs you at work. Not in a hospital bed." She teases back.

"I can't help myself. You guys have good drugs in here." Daegan points to the IV bag above him nonchalantly.

"Now, Daegan, we need to go over some important medical stuff. They can't be in here. It's confidential." Doctor Diaz starts as his brown eyes look at me and Kane over his chart.

"We'll wait outside," Kane tells them as he hooks his hand on my bicep and escorts me out. I want to cement my feet to the ground, I don't want to go anywhere without Daegan, but we already fucked up once. I can't mess up again in front of medical staff.

Am I falling for him? My heart quickens at the thought, and hope bleeds into the once-empty space that Jack left in me. I've really fallen for Daegan when I was the one who made it a rule, not to. And I don't think I've just grown feelings for him. It's more than just sex; it's a connection…and it's an all-consuming one.

"Thank you," Doctor Diaz chirps as he walks closer to Daegan. Kane opens the door to the room, waiting for me to cross over, but one sentence shatters my impending actions and thoughts. I stop walking, and confusion riddles my brain when Doctor Diaz opens his mouth again.

"I've already alerted your wife since she's your emergency contact when it comes to these things. You are?—"

I clear my throat and turn around, stunned, my heart pounding outside my chest. I'm sure the entire hospital can hear it.

I arch a brow at him, and Daegan stiffens with narrowed brows and darkened eyes, clenching his jaw as he holds my stare.

"His wife?" Kane asks and advocates for me when I'm too shattered to move or even breathe right now. They have to have gotten it all wrong. He doesn't wear a ring; he doesn't have a wife, and there were no pictures in his home when I stayed there.

But there was a locked door.

And I was too oblivious and such an idiot…it didn't cross my mind to ask such a basic question.

His ice-cold eyes light up, and he moves to stand, but Lori reacts quickly.

"Hannibal, sir, don't move. You are not in the clear to move, never mind being discharged. Stay in the bed." She orders him sternly and unafraid.

Daegan looks away from me, going into that same side of him that I'm not familiar with. Cold and distant, with no words to explain himself?

"You're…" married? I want to say it. It's on the tip of my trembling, dry tongue, stabbing me in the chest. A tear rolls down my cheek; the betrayal already settles in as I try to keep calm, but there's only one thing I can do right now to save my job. And it's going back to work. I start the treacherous sentence but don't finish as I watch Daegan's chest move up and down with edge as he takes deep breaths. His anchor tattoo jumps with deep, desperate breaths as he tries to get me to stay with pleading eyes.

He warned me.

Those haunting words he told me when he picked me up when I was stranded.

The ones closest to you are the ones who hold the most power to hurt you. The ones closest do the most damage. Please remember that the next time you decide to let someone in.

"Get her out of here, Slaughter." He pleads, but it's more like he's ordering him like he refuses to accept anything else.

I can't look him in the eyes; it'll only hurt more that those very eyes I've fallen hard for are more forbidden than I thought. His monitor starts to beat erratically and thunderously.

"Tell me it isn't true," I murmur softly. I tense up my throat before it can crack from agony.

I dare to look at him. The doctor and nurse look rigid. Doctor Diaz holds onto his device firmly while Lori looks around the room inconspicuously and rocks on her heels. They're uncomfortable. I don't care if they can read the room. I need to know.

But the operator, who is known for silence, is doing what he's good at.

I nod sarcastically when he doesn't deny it. Tears are blurring my vision.

Kane turns into stone and moves us out of the room before I fall apart in public. Lori and Doctor Diaz act oblivious to what is transpiring, and I'm grateful for that.

If he wants a different outcome, I need him to say, ‘You're wrong, Doctor Diaz. I don't have a wife. I'm single. You're confusing me with another sailor.' But no, as Doctor Diaz continues, he just sits there, shocked and wounded.

"Your wife, Stella Hannibal? We told her and?—"

"Ms. Valentin." Daegan roars behind me. He stands and tries to rip out every single wire that's attached to him. He stands up and towers over Lori, but I don't stop walking. Two security personnel rush into the room, bumping into Kane's and I's shoulders.

I can't hear anymore; I'm too far gone from the room, and I'm moving in slow motion. My body is moving, but my brain is elsewhere, lost in thought. Kane wants to put his arm around me in a friendly manner, but I push it away and rush forward, beating him to the exit of the hospital.

"Alessia, do you want to talk?" Kane calls for me, but I ignore him as I return to work. If our short affair isn't out now with Guerra, it sure is now.

Daegan once promised me he would ruin me for anyone else…and he has. But in the end…he just ruined me.