Chapter 16

CHAPTER 16

A rotten timber steeple poked out of the misty gloom up ahead. I crouched with Kenzo where the undergrowth thinned, and scanned our surroundings. The chapel's clapboard exterior had lost a few boards, and the paint had peeled, but a glow shone through the chapel's stained-glass windows indicating activity inside.

"You should maybe stay out here?" I suggested, mostly in case I had to get terminal with anyone inside. It would be better if Kenzo did not witness abilities I definitely should not have as a boring human.

"Uh-huh. Okay." He hunkered down, and hugged Victor's jacket tighter, making himself small. "Will you be long?"

"I hope not."

I gave him a reassuring nod, then hurried out of the brush and up the well-worn path to the chapel's front door. All was quiet inside. Hopefully, Jimmy's pixie family would be in a tin somewhere inside, like Jimmy had been. I'd scoop them up, and leave without anyone knowing I'd been here. Easy.

The big metal-ring door latch clunked, but didn't open. An inhuman shove popped the lock, and the heavy door groaned on its hinges. Candles flickered in tall candelabra, flanking a short aisle that ended at a stone altar. The small flames tried but mostly failed to keep out the dark. On the chapel's back wall, behind the altar cluttered with charms and offerings, hung an enormous portrait of a red-haired, severe-looking woman who looked as though she'd been taking smiling lessons from Victor.

As my gaze fell, the real purpose of the chapel became clear.

Behind the altar, half a dozen people peered back at me. Fae, human, gargoyle, troll. All Lost Ones. All bound with chains at the wrists, and gagged.

Gifts for the vampire queen.

Maybe I could just sneak out and nobody would know . . . ?

Guilt tripped my heart. I winced. Okay, leaving wasn't an option. These people clearly needed help, and was I really going to ignore them?

I hurried up the aisle and knelt next to the first prisoner. A normal fae, probably taken by the vampires, just like I'd been. Metal shackles weighed down her thin arms, the same as the rest of them, and all the chains were locked to a huge ring cemented into the floor.

The gargoyle's chains had stretched where he'd tried to yank himself free, but clearly, he hadn't managed to. His soft eyes were big with defeat.

"Okay, I'm getting you out of here," I whispered. "But you guys need to agree to one thing, alright? I was never here. You don't know me. This didn't happen. We never met."

Eager nods all around.

"And I definitely did not do this." I took the giant hoop in both hands and heaved. Metal creaked, groaned, and twanged apart, sending broken links flying. They were free. "Great, so we're good? "

They struggled to their feet with the broken chains still attached to their wrists. Those chains were clearly going to be an issue. I quickly snapped those too, then helped a few clear the gags from their mouths.

"Okay, we're good? I was never here, remember?"

"You saved us," the sad-looking young troll said.

"No. Nope. That did not happen. You saved yourselves."

"Who are you?" another asked.

"I'm nobody. Just a passer-by."

They huddled together, waiting for something. Hopefully, not directions from me. "Er, so? You haven't seen a pixie family by any chance?"

"Here," the big gargoyle grumbled, picking up a large, transparent-plastic candy tub. Three little pixies were trapped inside. Their wings were all crumpled, and although I had no idea if they were Jimmy's family, I could at least set them free. I took the tub, and popped the lid. The trio of pixies hunkered down, afraid.

"Hey, it's okay. I know Jimmy—I mean, Grrdug? He sent me." Their ears pricked. "We're getting out of here."

The larger of the three—with bright pink wings—gave the air a sniff, but the smaller two stayed back, hiding. Then with a wing flick, they buzzed out of the tub and landed on my shoulders. "Okay, that's erm... that's fine, I guess. We'll walk out..." I trailed off as I noticed the group staring. "You guys can go. You don't have to wait for us."

"Yeah, but..." The female fae looked around at the other pale faces huddled close. "Vampires are out there."

"Uhm, okay. I'll show you which way to go, but after that you guys have to say you found your own way out, alright?"

The six of them made agreeing noises.

"I can get you to the fire road. But then you guys have to go your own separate ways."

More agreeable noises .

With the pixies on my shoulders and the freed prisoners behind, I headed back down the aisle for the door.

"Adam Vex." The man who entered wore board shorts, sandals, and an unbuttoned black shirt, as though he'd just returned from a day surfing. Impressive black tribal tattoos patterned his bare chest and down his arms. He flicked off his dark shades and gestured with them. "The man of the hour in his most unremarkable flesh."

The trio of pixies unleashed a chorus of hisses.

The new guy's sharklike, soulless eyes indicated vampire, but he didn't dress like one. "And you are?"

"Armin." He formally bowed, then straightened and zeroed those silvery eyes on me. "Those are my pixies, this is my church, and you're in my way. Step aside, return the gifts to their rightful place, and you and I need not come to blows."

At least he was direct. I glanced behind me at the group of Lost Ones clutching each other in fear. I knew what I should do—back away slowly. But I'd also been the subject of bullies for much of my life. "What about a counteroffer?"

He nodded for me to proceed. "I'll hear it."

"You step aside, we leave unharmed, and you don't end up like the duke."

Armin didn't appear surprised by the name. "Duke Spry. Missing, presumed dead at your hands, Mr. Vex." Armin pointed the arm of his sunglasses at me again. "Spry underestimated you. He was a fool. I am not. I have climbed my way up the ladder, from the filth to within touching distance of Her Most Royal Highness." His nod at the enormous painting confirmed the austere woman was their exalted queen. "I will not risk my place at her side after The Coming because of one deceptively harmless human."

Armin was not your typical, self-centered vampire. Clearly smarter, and not fooled by appearances, he knew to be wary. While we talked, he was studying me, trying to pick my appearance apart and figure out what I'd hidden inside.

"There is much talk of what you are, Adam Vex. The mystery is driving Princess Daisy to distraction. A distraction we do not need at this vital moment in history. But what can I do, a mere soldier in the grander scheme of The Coming ?"

Like most vampires, however, Armin clearly loved the sound of his own voice, and this conversation was likely headed in the same direction as all the others I'd had with vampires of late.

"Honestly, Armin," I sighed. "I don't really care about your grand, evil plan. I'm sure you're a super vampire, and you probably deserve to sit beside your queen, if that's what you want, I guess. But these people here just want to go home, and I'm going to take them. If you try to stop me, it's just going to end the same way as it did with the duke. Or you can let us go, and you don't even have to tell anyone we met. We'll all keep it a big secret. Won't we, everyone?" Frantic nodding all round. "See? How does that sound?"

Armin gave a derisive snort. "There's no trace of your true self within that glamor."

"You know, it's past these little guys' bed times." I nodded at the pixies. "It's time we left."

"Pixies are vermin, just like all of you. Vampires are superior. You should all be grateful!" he announced. "Honored to be a part of the new order of things. You should fucking get to your knees and beg for your blood to run in service to Her Majesty." Armin smirked. "Kneel, and maybe I'll let you go."

I lost my smile. And my patience. "Nobody is kneeling to a vampire in board shorts."

He smirked and folded his arms. "You know, you were supposed to be the final gift, to be brought to us by Baron Reynard? He failed, of course. But you were the last piece. And now here you are, exactly where we need you to be. Sometimes, fate puts you on the path of destiny and there's nothing you or I can do about it. This is meant to be. It's fate. Give up, Adam Vex. This moment was inevitable."

Perhaps he was more right then he knew, but for different reasons. "Yeah, fate and I don't really get along."

I tried to talk to bad people—tried to give them a chance, I really did—but it always ended the same. "Okay." I huffed, and turned to face my group. "If everyone can please close their eyes?"

They stared back.

"I know it's a weird ask, but it's fine, really. Just close your eyes, and if you hear anything disturbing, don't worry. It's all fine."

To be fair to them, we'd only just met, and they didn't know me from... well, Adam. So I understood their hesitancy. But if they witnessed what came next, we'd have a whole different set of problems to deal with.

Armin slammed into me from behind and flung me through the rescued Lost Ones, sending them and the pixies flying. The altar was suddenly right there, and I was bent over it, slammed to an abrupt halt with Armin's weight pinning me down. "Whatever you are, Adam Vex, your blood will run in sacrifice to our queen!" The burn of vampire fangs plunging into my neck was nothing like Victor's erotic bites.

That's it. I was done being nice.

I whirled, flinging him off. But like fish hooks, his fangs had hooked in. Blood spurted—my blood. I covered my neck to stem the flow, but even slowed, it dribbled down my sleeve. "We could have talked it out, but no, vampires always go for the neck." I flicked blood from my fingers and patted the wound, trying to seal it back up. It would heal fast, but not fast enough to keep my clothes from getting bloody. Again. "Don't you know you catch more flies with honey? Or is it bees? Please and thank you goes a long way. "

"What?" Armin snarled.

"The saying, you know? You get more by being nice. And you are not nice."

A blast of hot, metallic-smelling air blasted through the chapel, snuffing all the candles, plunging us all into darkness. A chilling female laughter bubbled over our heads. Someone screamed, others whimpered.

Disembodied, creepy villain cackles were never a good sign.

I clutched the altar behind me, and willed my eyes to adjust to the sudden dark. Vampires could see in the dark. I couldn't. But neither could the prisoners. This was my chance to attack without witnesses.

My cursed glamor had some wriggle room, and as I mentally loosened its restraints, the truth of me stretched its bonds. Armin's responding gasp betrayed his exact location. In the gloom, fear flared in his shining vampire eyes.

I lunged, hit Armin like a wrecking ball, and pinned him to the floor.

There was always a moment of revelation, when whoever hurt me realized they'd made a gut-wrenching mistake. The moment they knew their life was over.

Some whimpered, some fell to their knees. Some, like the duke, saw death reflected in my eyes and surrendered. While I defied fate, or tried to, so many met their fates in me.

Armin saw that destiny he'd been speaking of, and screamed like a siren.

I slammed a hand over his mouth, cutting off the wail.

Less than a heartbeat later, something thumped on the chapel roof and scurried over the shingles. Then another thump sounded. The vampires were coming.

I had to get the group of Lost Ones out.

They panicked, stumbling toward the chapel door.

But events were unfolding too fast, falling like dominoes .

One of the stained-glass windows shattered, raining jagged glass.

A vampire landed among the Lost Ones, scattering them among the pews.

Another window smashed.

Vampires closed in, like wolves circling weaker prey.

Armin bucked and thrashed in my iron grip. I smothered a hand over his whole face and smacked his head against the hard chapel floor. He fell limp, unresponsive. Maybe dead, maybe not. There wasn't time to check.

I had to stop the others.

"Hey!" The growl underscoring my voice had the vampires looking over. In the gloom, they saw a human, but not. My glamor held, fooling their vision, but their other vampires senses would be firing off predator alarm bells.

The chapel door vanished, torn off its hinges. Zee strutted in, sword gleaming. "Who started this fucking party without me?" He'd vanished his wings, but still resembled a vampire-killing badass in a tight Babe top. Finger-painted bloody streaks underlined his purple eyes.

Relief made my heart soar. I wasn't alone.

The weird, creepy, disembodied female laughter bubbled up again, emanating from behind me. I twisted, to see the vampire queen's enormous painting ripple and warp. The figure moved, as though peeling herself from the canvas, and then inch by inch, she began to climb from the frame like a bad horror movie.

"That's a whole lot of fuck-no." Zee recoiled. "All aboard the nope train, we're leaving this fucking station. Everyone who isn't a sucker get behind me."

"Our queen!" one of the vampires announced. "She comes!"

That sounded really bad.

But at least the vampires were distracted. They drifted toward the altar, staring up at their emerging liege, consumed by the momentous occasion.

Zee poofed to my side. "Kitten, this is probably a good time to fuck off?"

I glanced up at his cringing face. Our gazes met, and his eyes widened. He'd seen some of the real me peering back at him. I blinked, and packed the truth away, mentally stuffing the very unfluffy and not-nice dragon back into its hidey hole, then rolled my shoulders. "Sorry you had to uhm, see that."

"Naw, 'sall good, bro," Zee squeaked, then cleared his throat, and added in a serious tone. "Never apologize for who you are, Kitten."

Victor blurred to my right side. "Adam, it's time we left."

The queen had almost heaved her entire body through. She clutched at the picture frame, long black nails dug into the wall, working to free herself from the final few inches of canvas. Horrible fangs filled her mouth. Fury made her eyes blaze.

If she got free, it would probably be a very bad day for anyone who wasn't a vampire.

I wasn't supposed to get involved. This wasn't my fault, or my fight. I could back away slowly, and fate would take its course.

"Or..." I cleared the growl from my throat, and looked down at the bloody sword, Shareen, gripped in Zee's hand. He looked down too, then raised an eyebrow.

"Maybe a little stabby, stabby?" I suggested.

His eyes widened again. "Now?"

"Nobody is looking." The vampires were all flocking to the painting like moths to a flame.

"Because they're all looking at their fuck-off murder mommy being birthed out of a fucking Rembrant. Don't you think they might notice if I shove Shareen between her sweater puppies? "

"Adam's right." Victor leaned in. his eyes were kind of wild, his hair too. Blood splatters painted his pale face. "We may never have another opportunity. This moment is an opportune one. I'll distract them."

Zee rolled his eyes. "Why's it gotta be me?"

"You have a big sword."

"Fine, but they are going to lose their collective leech minds, so be fucking ready." He spun the sword in his hand, reversing its grip. "Save Victor, Zee. Lick my feet, Zee. Poke the scary vampire-bitch queen, Zee. Fuck my life."

I've never once asked him to lick my feet.

Zee's wings unfurled, purple veins aglow, lighting up the chapel and haloing him with electric static. He burned so bright in the dark, I had to squint to see him. Had he always been that bright?

The queen's eyes swiveled and locked on to him.

Victor roared, flung himself into the first alarmed vampire, then plowed that one into the second, and the third, crashing the scrum of them through pews.

Zee flapped his wings, rising into the air.

The queen's mouth opened. Fangs gleamed, dripping poison. She reached out a clawed hand, as though to grab at Zee.

"Suck on this, bitch!" He tucked his wings in and plunged downward with Shareen aimed forward. The sword thrust in, the queen let out a wailing scream and thrashed. But Zee wasn't done. Like some kind of avenging horn-tipped demon god, he tore Shareen free, and with a great two-handed sweep, sliced the queen's head clean off.

It tumbled, hit the floor, and bounced behind the altar.

Oh. I winced, and glanced around. The other vampires scrapped with Reynard and hadn't yet noticed their queen was headless.

Zee flapped to a landing beside me. "Did you see that?!" He swung Shareen triumphantly. "Like a knife through fucking butter!"

"Yeah erm, but... why did you cut her head off?"

He stopped and grinned. "You said to."

"I said stabby, stabby. Not decapitate!"

"You didn't mean kill her?" Horror paled his face. "Oh fuck. Fuck. Fuck! Do you think it'll stick back on?"

We peeked around the back of the altar, where the head had already shriveled like a grape left out in the sun.

"Reynard licked his finger and stuck it back on," Zee said. "Maybe it works with heads?"

The queen's body had shrunk back into the picture. Without its head. "I don't think she's in any state to lick her own neck."

"Shit. Fuck. Ugh." He winced, and spun, looking around. "Maybe they won't notice?"

"Our blessed, exalted queen!" someone shrieked.

They'd definitely noticed.

Victor picked himself up out of the scrum, flicked his hair, and gaped at the painting now depicting his headless queen.

Zee winced. "Oops?"

"Run!" Victor barked.

A vampire flew at Zee, smacked into him, and slammed him through the chapel's rotten timber walls.

"Zee!" I yelled.

Victor caught my arm, and hauled me away. "The door! Go!"

The vampires who had entered the chapel were down, but some were trying to rise. And more would come.

It was definitely time to leave.

"Zee?"

"He'll be fine," Victor said. "He's Lycian. He was born ready, remember?" His quick smile eased the ache in my chest .

We'd almost made it to the door when another vampire plunged through the roof. Victor spun, ripping the attacker out of the air and flinging him over the pews. "Go! Get them to safety!"

I bolted out of the chapel, and found Zee staggering toward the small group of huddled Lost Ones. He gave me two thumbs up, even as he limped along.

"Stick close," I told them, and plunged into the brush, heading back toward the track we'd arrived from.

We hadn't gone far when a vampire shot out of the trees. Zee's right hook knocked him flat on his back, and with a brutal stab in the throat from Shareen, the vampire flailed and choked.

Then Zee took his head too. "Killing suckers like a fucking boss."

Victor blurred up behind us a few minutes later, almost getting Zee's fist to the face. They gave each other a conciliatory nod, and we all marched on.

Killing the queen had definitely not been the plan. And now, here we were, leading the Lost Ones out of the dark...

Almost as though we were in some kind of... prophecy.