Chapter Forty-Four

Imade it. That's all that keeps running through my head as I make my way to my room. I made it. I can rest now. And I don't think Archer noticed. I mean me ignoring him at the end was out of character, but I'll fill him in tomorrow when I'm feeling better.

When I get to my room and close the door behind me, I let out a deep breath, finally able to relax a little bit. I'm in so much pain from the show that I don't even bother taking a shower. I honestly don't think I can stand that long.

I throw on a pair of shorts and a loose t-shirt and climb into bed. I don't even take the time to turn the light off. I instantly regret that after a few seconds of trying to rest, but I'm not about to get up now. I close my eyes and try to relax all of my muscles, one by one.

I'm just starting to fade to sleep when I hear a noise outside my door. There's a click and the door cracks open. Willow's here. Thank goodness. I don't need anything, but I wouldn't mind feeling like I'm not alone here.

I think that's sometimes the worst part of this. The feeling that you're alone in all of it. I have friends and family that try to help me through all of it but at the end of the day, it's up to me to deal with it. Having Willow here at least eases that a bit.

"No!" I hear Willow shout from somewhere in the living area. "You can't go in there. Archer."

The door pushes completely open. I peek through the opening and watch the scene unfold.

Archer steps through the main door as Willow tries to shove him out. He easily pushes past her and closes the door behind him signifying that he doesn't plan on leaving any time soon. He looks like he's about to start searching the place but then thinks better of it and turns to Willow.

I try to sit up in bed but the action makes the pain worse, so I quickly give up and just accept the little bits I can see through the cracked door.

"Where is she?" Archer asks, his voice raspy and demanding. I've never heard him like this before.

Willow quickly steals a glance at the bedroom door. We make eye contact for a split second."Uh . . . she's not here," Willow answers.

I mentally wince at the blatant lie. Archer one hundred percent saw her look at my door and there's no hiding the hesitation in Willow's voice before she answered. She isn't fooling anyone with that.

"Like hell she isn't." He stubbornly walks towards the bedroom door, his steps quick and determined. His body is so rigid and tense, a polar opposite to how he usually holds himself. His mouth is set in a firm line, his features hard to read.

He slows once he's in front of my door and gently pushes it open. "Alison?" he asks lowering his voice.

"Yeah," I croak from my nest of blankets.

He steps into my room and pushes the door closed behind him.

"Boys. I swear. They're impossible," I hear Willow rant from somewhere in the other room. A second later, I hear the main door to the room close and then silence.

I look back at Archer. His eyes are wide as he takes me in. I suddenly get self conscious about the fact that I probably look like a wreck and pull my blanket higher up over my chest.

His eyes go soft with concern. He quickly turns the light off before kneeling down on the floor next to the side of the bed I'm laying on. He takes in a deep breath before he rests his hand on top of my blanketed leg.

"What's wrong? What happened?" His eyes scan my entire body.

"Nothing. I'm just tired," I try to say as nonchalantly as possible.

"Want to try that one again? Maybe make it more believable this time."

Gosh, this man is gorgeous. Maybe I'm delusional from all of the pain, exhaustion, and medicine, but I take a second to really soak Archer in. It's never really hit me just how beautiful he is.

Well, okay, I mean I've obviously noticed, but what I mean is there's something different about him. The way his green eyes are gentle but also filled with worry. The stubborn set of his chin as he waits for me to speak. I've never really appreciated his amazing jawline before.

I reach up and run my fingers along it. He lays his hand on top of mine, his bicep flexing as he moves.

"Has anyone ever told you that you're kind of beautiful?" I ask, giving him a goofy smile. I try to reach my other hand up but flinch. Oof. That's the wrist that's killing me from playing guitar. I pray he didn't catch that, but it wasn't subtle. I gently set my hand back on the bed drop my eyes to the seam on his right shirtsleeve.

He clearly catches me wince. "Okay, now I know something is wrong. You're talking crazy."

"What? A girl can't tell her boyfriend that he's beautiful?"

"She can. Just not when she hasn't looked or spoken to him all night and is flinching in pain every time she moves." He does another scan of my body. "Your Lupus is flaring up."

He doesn't say it as a question. He knows it's the truth. There's no use denying it at this point.

"Yeah, maybe a little."

"Why didn't you say anything? Has this been going on all night?"

"Day," I respond. The way he flinches when I say this makes me feel like I should've maybe left that part out. "I didn't want to worry you."

"Alison." He runs his hand through his hair as his mouth pulls into a straight line again.

We both sit in silence for a bit. I know there's probably a thousand things running through his mind that he wants to say right now, but he's choosing his words carefully.

"I'm sorry," I whisper. "I thought this would be the easiest way. I figured I could sleep it off and then I'd tell you tomorrow when I was better. But . . ." I let myself trail off.

"But what?" He starts to run his hand slowly up and down my leg. I flinch a bit and he quickly stops. "Am I hurting you?"

"No, no. This position just isn't helping anymore." I start to lift myself up to turn. Archer is instantly on my other side, gently grabbing me under my arms and helping me shift.

"Thanks."

Once he makes sure that I'm in a comfortable spot, he climbs on the bed and lays on the open side, leaning back against the headboard.

"Closer," I whisper.

He slides until his side is against mine, and I rest my head on his chest. It's a little uncomfortable but being this close to him makes me the happiest I've been all day. I breathe out a sigh of relief, finally feeling safe.

I let my head rise and fall with each of Archer's breaths, basking in his warmth. Finally, I start to feel myself start to doze again. Him here next to me is the most helpful thing I've tried all day. Even better than the ice and the pain meds. My eyes start to feel heavier and heavier by the second.

I feel him kiss the top of my head. "Alison?"

I'm too tired to respond, stuck between the real world and sleep.

When he doesn't get a response, he continues. "I was so scared today. I didn't even know what to be scared of but I was. I didn't know if you were mad. If I did something wrong. If something bad happened. It was terrifying. I felt like I was losing my mind." He gets quiet again.

There is silence for a few minutes. I try to keep alert in case he has anything else to say but I feel sleep pulling me further.

"I love you," he whispers as my eyes flutter close and sleep finally takes over.