CHAPTER 19

mateo

T he car ride home was silent as we pulled out of Dante's driveway, my aunty and uncle waving at us from the porch. I was feeling … well, I didn't quite have the words to describe how I was feeling.

Jamie was shooting me concerned glances as he wound the car down the twists and turns of the road towards town but my head was a cloud of pent up emotions as the air zinged between us like a buzz of energy.

"You okay?" he asked, his question so soft and so gentle that I felt a lock click into place inside me and I broke.

"Pull over," I demanded, heart hammering against my ribcage like I'd overdosed on coffee beans.

"What?" he asked, concern still in that blue gaze of his.

"Pull over now." I waited breathlessly as he pulled the car onto the grassy verge, the sounds of his ‘ are you all right?' muffled in my haze as I flicked the seatbelt button. I was on him a second later, straddling his waist and my mouth clamped down on his, that energy zapping between us like an electric shock. His surprise lasted longer than I expected until he was kissing me back, tongue grappling with mine as those hands of his clasped onto my ass.

His tongue was in my mouth, tangling for dominance against mine which I yielded to him, loving how much he was owning me, wanting me.

His moans matched mine as I dropped lower, grinding against him as I lost myself to the lust. I was so hard I was fit to burst and I was really regretting these pants which were suddenly far too tight around my thickening cock. Jamie's breathless moans matched mine, those strong hands of his gripping my ass as one lonely hand dipped through the gap in my legs to stroke my dick and I almost exploded.

"Get me home, Jamie," I moaned as that hand between my legs tortured my last grasp on sanity.

"I don't know if that's possible," he rasped, hips lifting to rub against me.

"I don't want to add public indecency to my growing list of broken rules."

"Well, sweet, you're going to have to get off me then because I absolutely cannot drive with you grinding up against me like this."

Ah, damn. Logistics.

I tipped my head back, eyes blown to lust and finding a mirror image in Jamie's pretty blue eyes as I gulped down air.

"Fine. But hurry," I muttered as I carefully moved back to my own seat. Everything was aching, my cock painfully hard and trapped behind my tight pants as I palmed myself, groaning as Jamie's eyes watched my every move.

"You sure you're okay there?" he asked, just a hint of a grin lifting the edges of his mouth.

"Just drive," I growled.

He shifted the car into drive and hit the road, still with that smirk on his face as his eyes drifted between my hand on my dick and the road.

"I don't mind if you need to unzip anything over there," he said, smug grin still firmly in place. "It looks a little tight and I'm pretty attached to that part of your body."

"I think I have to," I moaned, instantly going for my button. The instant relief as the zipper moved down my pants, freeing my aching appendage had a sigh of relief leaving my mouth. It was a shame because I loved these black jeans but I wouldn't be wearing them around Jamie again, that was for sure.

"Holy shit," Jamie groaned, eyes on me instead of the road. "Purple? Seriously, Mateo."

I could only grin back at him, feeling slightly less wild now that I wasn't in so much pain.

"Eyes on the road, Jamie," I grinned, smirking to myself when he let out his own deep sigh of impatience. The speed increased as Jamie pushed the car across town, heading for my little house which could not come soon enough. I didn't stop him when he snaked a hand towards me, grip tightening around me as he pushed his hand down the front of my pants and stroked.

I didn't bother rezipping my pants as Jamie pulled up out the front of my house and I had absolutely no patience to wait for him to open my car door tonight. He didn't seem too bothered by that either as he crowded up against me, his mouth grazing the nape of my neck while I opened the pink door, as desperate for me as I was for him.

His mouth was on mine, kissing me desperately as we staggered down the hallway to my bedroom, too far gone to care about whether Rob was about to get a brief insight into the rest of our evening.

We'd barely closed the door to my room before I was pushed up against it, Jamie's firm body holding me hostage as his tongue plundered my mouth and I was close to combusting. He suddenly twisted our positions, holding my back to his chest as his fingers traced down to my open zipper and his mouth pressed to my neck.

"No marks," I managed to remember as his mouth clamped down on me and that lovely hand palmed me right where I needed him.

"Damn that rule," he muttered, lips tracing my neck. "Tell me what you want, Mateo."

"You know what I want," I returned, breaths unsteady as his fingernail ran the full length of my tip. All my blood had pooled there making it impossible to think of anything but him and I was almost mindless with want.

"Let me look at you first," he said, hands moving to the waistband of my pants. They were loose enough with the zipper down that they were gone in an instant and my top swiftly followed until I was left in nothing but those bright purple briefs I'd put on this evening just for him. I had a feeling he liked them if the flare of heat in his eyes was any indication as he spun me towards him, eyes flaming as they traced my body.

"You like?" I asked, head knocked to the side.

"No. Like is not a strong enough word," he all but growled. He was moving then, pushing me until I was on my back on the bed, his mouth back on mine and his hands rough on my body. He palmed my dick again, no sign of that gentleness anywhere as I moaned underneath him, needing more, needing everything.

He pulled away from me then and I almost protested until I realised he was taking off his clothes, clearly wanting this as much as I did. I waited until he was fully naked and then we were pressed back together, his hand dipping underneath my waistband.

"You're going to have to hurry this along, Jamie," I panted. "I need it."

"I need it too but I also need to enjoy you a little longer," he rasped. I let him lead, let him play with my dick until I could wait no more but then was forced to wait again while he found the supplies in my nightstand. He stopped, head cocked to the side before sliding my purple briefs down my legs, movements purposeful and looking at me like he wanted to take a picture to make this moment last.

I let him have barely a minute prepping me with those nice thick fingers until I was begging for him. It was telling of his state of mind that he instantly agreed, knowing how much he cared about not hurting me.

I was too far gone to feel anything but the slightest sting of the burn as he shoved into me, his usual gentleness with my body evaporated in the cloud of lust burning between us. And then he let me have it, just the way I needed it as his thrusts had me moaning, the bed banging against the wall and likely waking the neighbours.

I didn't care. I just needed Jamie and I needed him taking me like this as the world narrowed down to that point of contact between us. He was above me, arms holding his weight on either side of my head as those normally blue eyes gazed down at me with so much blown heat it was a wonder we didn't both combust.

He hit my spot and the moment was religious, an explosion of divine molten gold shooting through my bloodstream as I lost all remaining grip on sanity. I was just him and me and the way he was making me feel, like freedom and liberty and the most exquisite pleasure as he gave me everything he had while he pounded me in the way I needed and the bed banged against the wall. Thrust – bang, thrust – bang . A beautiful percussion .

My back was arching, legs tightening around his hips, hands gripping the bedhead above me to keep my head from being crushed into it, my body given over to him as that lovely thick cock hit me in places so deep I was sure I was cursing nonsensical words. Or maybe I was praying, it kind of felt like a divine moment.

I was seconds away from exploding, not even needing the hand that finally snaked between us and gripped onto me tight, bringing my ending in the most spectacular explosion of heat and light. He followed right along with me until we were both left lying there, sated and mindless as I tried to reinflate my lungs and remember who I was and how to breathe. I felt like I was floating outside of my body.

"Holy hell," he rasped at length. "That was …"

"Something else," I finished for him.

"Yes. Something else entirely," he agreed. "I don't think I can move. We might have to live like this forever."

"Agreed," I said, tightening my legs around him.

We lay like that for a while, joined together until he slipped out of me and I felt like crying at the loss. I didn't know why I was feeling this way. Sex wasn't normally like this for me, not this heady, crazy, full body experience where I hadn't even known who I was for a few moments there. It was usually just a way to find release, not this insane moment of completeness and connection I had just experienced with Jamie.

"I thought you were angry with me," he finally said, moving his weight off me and letting my lungs finally start to refill.

"I was," I told him. "And then I wasn't. And then I don't know what I was."

"Well whatever you were, I liked him," he chuffed. "I want to see that guy again sometime soon."

"Give me twenty minutes and I'll reacquaint the two of you," I grinned.

"I'm going to need more than twenty minutes after that," he replied. "You drained me dry."

"Yeah, me too," I admitted.

Jamie was quiet for a few moments, his hand tracing patterns on my stomach, spreading the sticky mess. My mind was still drifting, still in some kind of haze that I'd been feeling ever since my conversation with Dante. The one where he released me from my overwhelming feelings of obligation towards him.

The one where he set me free.

And it was all due to the guy at my side, this amazing man who had just fucked my soul right out of me, the man who was taking up a hell of a lot of my headspace right now, not to mention all the other lovely feelings he was currently extracting from me.

"I'm sorry if I overstepped," he finally said, the silence long but not uncomfortable between us.

"You did overstep," I told him, moving to my side to face him. His hand drifted to my hip, holding me there as those lovely blue eyes held mine. "But I'm thankful for it. I don't think I would have ever had the guts to say anything to Dante if you hadn't made me."

"You think I don't know that?" he grinned, the smile making his handsome face look even more beautiful. "I knew you needed a prod and I was happy to be the one to give it."

"And we both know how good you are at using your prod," I smirked.

"It's my specialty," he grinned back.

"I don't even know what to think right now," I admitted. "I'm still processing. I don't quite have the words."

"That's okay. I'm pretty sure you showed me just now how you were feeling," Jamie said, that smirk firmly back in place.

"I did," I grinned. "Think you still have something left in the tank for another round? I still have more of that weird energy buzzing inside me that I need to expend."

"Put those purple jocks back on and I'll be good to go again in no time," he laughed.

"Deal," I said. "In a bit though. I'm still recovering."

"Oh thank God. I was getting worried I was making promises I couldn't cash."

I just chuckled at that, using the opportunity to curl into his side. His arm dropped around me, tugging me closer until I rested my head on his chest, liking the feel of him there more than I was prepared to admit.

"Can I ask you a question?" Jamie asked at length. I nodded, glancing up at him. "Do you ever top or do you prefer bottoming?"

I huffed out a laugh, not the question I had been expecting. "Nobody's ever asked me that before," I admitted cautiously. "I mean, no I have never topped. I guess it was never really given to me as an option before but I've never pursued it either. Nick is like, a strict top so that was always a non-conversation with him."

I felt Jamie shift underneath me at the mention of sex with Nick and I realised that probably wasn't a cool thing to bring up right then. Not after that mind-blowing sex we'd just shared. But then my mind was always at its best doing its usual self-sabotage, bringing to mind memories of Nick and then melding into images of Nick with Ajay. In my dreams it was always Nick on top but now I wondered if Nick ever let Ajay top him? But no, I couldn't imagine that scenario. Ajay had definitely given off bottom vibes, a major reason I never would have tried anything with him even without Nick on the scene. We both needed guys capable of throwing us around.

"Is it something you want?" Jamie asked instead. I let out a slow breath, eyes hitching onto his as I tried to work out where this question was coming from.

"Why?"

He shrugged. "No reason. I mean, it was not something we ever discussed. I do prefer topping but I'm not against bottoming if that was something you wanted."

"Really?" I asked, unsure what to make of that suggestion. "You would do that for me?"

"Of course," he said in a way that was so simple it made me almost speechless.

"I guess it's not something I've thought about before," I admitted. "And that's probably because it's never really appealed to me but I guess I just haven't thought about it."

"Offer's there if you do decide it's something you're interested in," he replied. "No pressure of course."

"Thank you," I said, not sure what else to say. Not one guy, and I do mean literally not one guy, had ever said that to me. Was it something I wanted? Probably not. But did it make me feel all sorts of weird feelings and emotions towards Jamie because he had offered his body to me? Well, yes, it did.

But I also knew I wasn't quite in the right head space to investigate that more closely right then so I let it slide, something to think about more deeply another day as I closed the gap and kissed him instead. I wasn't anywhere near done with this gorgeous man in my bed just yet and I hoped he still felt the same.