13. Gareth

“You found my list, didnt you?” Serenity asked me as we stood outside of the activity that Id chosen for tonights date.

I looked down at her apologetically. “In my defense, you left it on the kitchen table. At first, I thought it was a grocery list. Did I cross a line?” I asked. Serenity had been the first relationship Id had in a long time, and the last thing I wanted to do was betray her trust.

“No,” she said. “I wouldnt have left it out if I wanted it to be private. I was honestly just scribbling down some things that Id never tried before. Something Daisy urged me to do.”

I motioned to the racetrack that awaited us, one car already primed and running thanks to the staff member who’d driven it onto the track. It was a Porsche, and I loved the ways her eyes lit up as she looked at it.

“Driving a car on your own was on that list.”

“True,” she said, laughing softly. “I would’ve been fine with driving your Audi. You didnt have to rent out a racetrack and a Porsche for me, but Im pumped. When are we going?”

“Go right ahead,” I said motioning her toward the guide who would give her the rundown of what to do.

“All by myself?”

“All by yourself.”

She squealed and bounced a little on her feet before she reached up and kissed me quickly, hurrying off toward the guide.

I laughed, smiling as I watched her listen intently to everything the instructor said. It was definitely hard not insisting I be in the passenger seat with her, but again, this wasnt about me. Simple luxuries I took for granted, like being able to go into my garage and pick out any number of vehicles I wanted to drive wherever I wanted, had always been denied to her. There were other things on her list that both shocked and saddened me—like shopping for and cooking her own food.

But there were just as easily other things that I was super excited to try with her, this being one of them, going dancing being another. It never ceased to shock me how cloistered shed been, even though she told me so many stories about her past. Once I saw that personal list of wants on my table, reading it and thinking about the mindset shed been in when she made it, had hit me right in the chest.

The only consolation I could take was the fact that things were different now. With me and my protection and my resources, she could cross off everything on that list. And Id make damn sure of it, too. Hell, she could make as many lists as she wanted, and I would dedicate my life to helping her experience every single thing shed ever missed out on. As long as she would have me.

As I watched her climb into the car, she waved to me excitedly and my heart grew in my chest. Every damn time I saw her like this, so free and joyful, it was like a spark coming to life where previous encounters had only been an ember.

Every day she grew more confident. Every day she settled into this new life more comfortably, and it was amazing to watch.

She hit the gas, nothing timid about it, and took off like a shot. I heard her squeal through the open window as she found her rhythm, making her way around the track at a steady speed. Every time she flew past me, her smile was bigger and bigger, and by the time she was done, she leaped out of the car and raced over to me. She jumped when she was a few feet away, knowing Id catch her.

She wrapped her arms round my neck as I caught her against me, her feet dangling high above the ground as she kissed the fuck out of me.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you,” she said, excitement lacing her tone. “That was so amazing!”

I held her to me, not bothering to put her down as I smiled at her. “Anything for you,” I said.

She kissed me again, a desperate edge to this one that hadnt been there before. “Anything?” she asked.

I read the look in her eyes easily enough. “Let me get you home.”

Three hours later, I laid on my back, completely spent from making Serenity moan my name over and over again. Her head rested on my chest as she traced the lines of my ink, something she liked to do, especially if she was lost in her head.

Which she shouldnt be, considering Id made her come four times—twice on my face and twice on my cock.

“Where are you at, angel?” I asked, shifting so I could look down at her.

She blinked a few times, looking up at me apologetically. “Sorry,” she said. “Lost in my head.”

“You want me to come find you?”

“If anybody could, it’d be you,” she said confidently. She let out a sigh. “I was just thinking about this one time when I was sixteen and I managed to slip past my guard. It was something I’d never done before so I only had one detail on me. I just wanted to drive, so I managed to get the keys to my mothers car out of her purse and made it into the garage. My cousins had been over earlier that day—they were the same age as me—and had talked about how much fun it was to have their license. How they would go get food at restaurants that werent connected to the family.”

I listened patiently.

“I only made it to the end of the driveway before I was stopped,” she continued. “My guard jerked me out of the car while it was still running, and it rolled backward until it crashed into our closed gate.” She went quiet, her eyes distant like she was fully entrenched in the memory.

“When the guard told my father, I was punished with his belt. But my mother got it worse because she’d left her purse in a place that I easily could get to. She couldnt leave the house for two weeks because of the black eye hed given her, and even though my mother and I were never close, Ive still never gotten over that. I never tried to drive again after that.”

I sighed, gently squeezing her in a silent apology. “I never meant for today to dredge up such traumatic?—”

“Thats not...” She shook her head against my chest. “I just…today was so amazing. And I was thinking that it really shouldnt have been. I mean, dont get me wrong, the way you went above and beyond is everything to me, but I was just driving. Yes, it was an amazing race car and a private track, but driving was on my list.” She shook her head again. “It makes me feel silly, and then I do my best to trace it back to why I hadnt tried to do more of those things in the first place and it dredges up memories I thought I’d long forgotten. Secrets I tried to keep even from myself, if that makes sense.” She turned, placing her chin on my chest so she could look at me directly. “Do you get that?”

I nodded. I absolutely understood where she was coming from. Our world was riddled with memories that would be healthier to forget, secrets that we wished we never had to keep.

“Do you want me to tell you a secret no one else knows?” I asked. “Its only fair since you told me one of yours.”

“You dont have to,” she said. “I didnt tell you as a form of quid pro quo. I told you because I trust you, but I’m sure youve realized that by now.”

I smiled down at her, reveling in that declaration.

“The first time my brother and I were tasked to go out on our own, I threw up. I was a nervous wreck, even though I knew exactly what to do, knew the orders. It didnt sit right with me. Half the shit my family wanted me to do didnt in those days. Once we got to the site, I threw my guts up behind the car. Dante saw me and didnt say a word. Never told anyone, knowing it would make me look weak to anyone vying for my position. He took lead on the task. It wasnt even one of the worse ones, either. Nobody got hurt, but I was more afraid of fucking it up and disappointing my family than I was of anything else.”

Serenity’s hand flattened out over my chest. “Its hard to imagine you ever being nervous about anything,” she admitted. “But I also understand the feeling about disappointing your family. Although, I honestly dont give a shit about mine anymore.”

We both laughed at that, levity returning to our conversation.

“Thank you for trusting me with that,” she said sincerely.

“I trust you with everything,” I said. “And I get that about your family. Thankfully, the older I got, the more progressive my family grew. The entire organization actually. They havent completely come over to my way of thinking yet, but theyre close. And we found a healthy way to still maintain our relationships even though I backed out of anything that wasnt legal.”

“Sounds like you have an amazing family,” she said. “I hope I get to meet the rest of them someday.”

“Youd want that?” I asked. “That wouldnt create more stress for you? Meeting an entire family that isnt completely dissimilar from yours, in terms of status anyway.”

“I’d love that,” she said. “Just from the few stories youve told me about them, I know theyre nothing like my family. Anyone who is important to you is important to me.”

I pursed my lips before grinning down at her and lightly smacking her ass. “Well then,” I said. “You better get dressed.”

“Why?” she asked, even though shed already gotten off the bed. “Where are we going?”

“To meet my family.”

An hour later, my mother was greeting us at the front door of my childhood home, ushering us inside with loud exclamations of where have you been, and even harder, more suffocating hugs.

Id barely gotten two words out of my mouth before my mother smacked me across my bicep, reaching for Serenity and pulling her into a welcoming hug while scolding me at the same time.

“Its about time you bring your wife here,” she chided as she released Serenity, only enough that she could get a good look at her. “Youre stunning,” she said.

Serenity looked to me for help, and I couldnt help but chuckle.

“Ma,” I said. “Give her some breathing room.”

My mother dismissed me with a wave of her hand, taking Serenity under her arm and leading her deeper into the house. She was met with a barrage of introductions, not only being reintroduced to Dante, but to four of my cousins, two of my aunts, and one uncle.

I greeted them all in turn, any tension I had about bringing her here quickly dissipating as everyone instantly fell in love with her. Couldn’t blame them, because she was damn amazing, and she quickly adapted to the chaotic nature that was my mothers home.

“You cant cook?” I heard my mother say from the kitchen, and I quickly hurried in just in case Serenity needed rescuing. Cooking was a religious act in my family, and I was more than ready to defend Serenitys reasons for not being able to cook, even though it shouldnt matter.

“Well, thats fine, love,” my mother said just as I came into the kitchen. “We can easily fix that.” My mother smiled at Serenity, and she returned it, looking excited as my mother handed her an apron. She grinned at me as she tied it behind her back, following my mother around the kitchen.

I breathed a sigh of relief, settling onto a bar stool at the kitchen island, knowing full well I’d be kicked out if I stepped a foot inside it. Instead, I was content to watch Serenity be effortlessly folded into my family, my mother taking her under her wing without a second thought.

And the longer I watched her, the clearer everything came to me.

I kept telling myself that I’d be here as long as Serenity wanted me, knowing the reality of the situation was that Serenity had never been on her own and she deserved a chance at that life. I wasnt going to be the one to push her away, but I had to be the one to let her go when she decided she needed to figure out who she was by herself.

It wasnt until now that I realized how hard of a task that was going to be when it inevitably came. Because I could try to deny it all I wanted, but I was hopelessly in love with this girl, and I selfishly never wanted her to leave. And that made me no better that the monster who had kept her locked up before.