Everything Is Gonna Be OK （25）

Beginning of February

Responsibility Meeting Day

"Will you hold still?" A shirtless, sweatpants-clad Ryker scolded his boyfriend, trying to fix JT's tie as he squirmed nervously. "All these years playing hockey and you still can't tie a tie?"

"When's the last fucking time you've seen me in a tie?"

"Um, never."

"Exactly."

"There. Much better. Now it doesn't look like it was made for a toddler. Also, you probably don't even need to wear a suit and tie to this thing."

JT kissed Ryker on the forehead before turning away, taking a few deep breaths, and shaking out his hands. "Yeah, well. I figured I might as well look professional while they tell me my life's over and that everything I've worked toward for years means shit."

"As long as we're not being dramatic," Ryker responded, having a seat at his desk and opening his laptop. "You sure you don't want me to come along for moral support?"

JT shook his head. "Nah. Ty couldn't make it up here, but he's gonna be there virtually, so I'll be OK. It's not gonna be long. It's just gonna be them going over the action plan with me, making sure I understand it." He paused, then sat down on the side of his bed and let out a guttural noise that turned his boyfriend's head. "I'm fucking scared , Ryk."

Immediately at his side, Ryker wrapped him in his arms. "You're gonna be OK, baby. Everything is gonna be OK."

"But, what if it isn't?"

"Then we deal with it together. We get through it together. You don't ever have to do any of this alone again. You know that, right? That I'm here for the long haul? That the only way you're getting rid of me is if you murder me, stuff me into a bag, and toss my body somewhere where no one will ever find me?"

JT laughed, wiping his eyes. "As long as we're not being dramatic." He stood up, smoothing out his pants and trying to get his hands to stop shaking. "Anyway, I should probably…"

A knock at the door startled them both. Figuring it was probably Audrey, JT opened it and was shocked when it wasn't.

"Look at you , kid. You finally learned how to tie a fuckin' tie, eh?"

In disbelief, JT threw his arms around Hayes, then pulled the door open to let him in. "What are you…you said you couldn't make it?"

"Like I'd let you fuckin' do this on your own. Hey, Ryker."

"Hey, Ty," Ryker said, turning around to greet him, then smiling at JT before turning back toward his laptop.

"Um, thanks," he said softly, nodding at Hayes and noticing he'd stopped shaking. "Having you here definitely…helps."

"Good. Being here helps me, too, because as much as I love Rook with my entire fuckin' soul, a break from that extra ass man was much needed." Hayes winked at him. "Anyway, we should probably head out."

"Yeah, let me just…fuck, where'd I put them?" JT started scanning the room frantically for his wallet and phone, as Ryker got up, retrieved both from the top of the microwave, and handed them to him. "Thanks."

Ryker hugged him and gave him a quick kiss. "Good luck. You got this. And remember what I said. You never have to do this alone again."

Hayes smiled, as memories of something Ryan had said to them on their wedding day flooded him.

"Whatever you struggle with, I'll do what I can to help you through it. And if I can't, then I'll struggle right alongside you. But you don't ever have to do any of this alone again."

And, in over 20 years, he hadn't.

The two left the room, Hayes reaching over and wrapping an arm around JT's shoulder. "Hey," he said, nodding his head toward the room behind them as they walked. "You got a good one there, eh?"

JT nodded, then leaned his head on Hayes's shoulder. "He's top tier."

"Good. Don't fuck it up."

???

"Have a seat, Mr. DiMara," the decision-maker for JT's case said as he and Ty both entered the meeting room with JT's case manager. The three took their spots at the conference table, JT's hands shaking as he looked over at Ty.

"You got this, kid," he said to him. "Whatever happens, you got this."

"My name is Rob Mastersen, and I've been designated as the decision-maker for your case. Before we get to the results, I'd like to review all the details to make sure that everything is correct. Then we'll go from there."

JT nodded, beginning to fidget with a pencil that was on the table in front of him.

Rob typed a few things on the laptop in front of him, then began. "You're here today because you've chosen to accept responsibility for two violations to the student code of conduct, both of which fall under the category of general misconduct.

"The first violation is for physical violence and abuse regarding the simple assault of one Mr. Evan Verdano at a location off campus, for which you were arrested and charged. However, it has been considered that Mr. Verdano did refuse to further cooperate with the prosecution, thus resulting in the case being dropped. It's also been noted that, immediately following your arrest, you completed the mandated threat assessment with your counselor and were deemed not a threat.

"The second violation is for damage and/or destruction regarding the irreparable damage to several pieces of University-owned furniture in your dormitory room at Bigler Hall. Does this information sound correct?"

"Yes, sir," JT responded quietly, almost unable to get the words out because his throat was so dry as he continued to play with the pencil, spinning and tapping it against the table.

"As you've been informed, your acceptance of responsibility means that you agree to accept the proposed action plan. You also agree to waive your right to an administrative conference as well as any opportunity to appeal this decision. This is the final decision. Do you understand this, Mr. DiMara?"

"Yes, sir."

"After careful consideration of the statements given by one Mr. Ryker McCreery as well as by one Dr. Abasi Namour, in conjunction with the results of the initial mandated threat assessment, it's been determined that you are not a physical threat to the students or faculty of the University, and therefore, suspension and expulsion are both off the table. You are permitted to remain enrolled in and attend your classes."

JT dropped his head to the table as Hayes let out a "Yes!" and patted him on the back a few times.

"There are, however, consequences that will come with this decision. In terms of your action plan, there are several outcomes and sanctions, and I will be explaining those to you now. The first outcome is an educational outcome, designed to prompt changes to behavior and prevent further misconduct. The University is requiring you to, in addition to your current therapy schedule, attend at least two additional, hour-long anger management sessions per week. These can either be done with Dr. Namour or any other licensed counselor…"

JT's heart sank. Between his classes, tutoring, hockey practices, and current therapy sessions, there was no way. "Sir, with all due respect…"

"JT? Quiet," Hayes warned, followed by Deb, the case manager, shaking her head and waving her hand horizontally for him to stop.

"But I already have, like, 15 hours a week for hockey practice, plus my…"

"We'll get to that, Mr. DiMara. Please let me continue."

Feeling his blood begin to boil and his eye start to twitch, he clenched his jaw and took a few deep breaths, trying to focus on the positives.

You aren't going to trial or jail.

You aren't suspended.

You aren't expelled.

You got your girlfriend back.

You got your tutor back.

Now shut the fuck up and let the man finish.

"I apologize, sir," JT finally said.

"Thank you. Additionally, the plan includes a restorative outcome, designed to address the impact of the behavior and repair any harm caused. The University is requiring you to complete 40 hours of community service with the maintenance department, during which you will aid in making repairs to damaged but salvageable furniture in both dormitories and academic buildings. You have until the end of the spring semester to complete the required number of hours."

Though he wanted to get up from the table, slam his fist through the wall, and leave the room, JT fought like hell to keep himself in the chair. He was certain he was about 15 shades of red and that there was literal smoke coming out of his ears like an old school cartoon, but he forced himself to sit and listen.

After all, accepting responsibility meant accepting the consequences of one's actions.

"As for administrative sanctions, Mr. DiMara, there are several. Please remember that by accepting responsibility, you accept this action plan in its entirety and are not permitted to appeal. Is that clear?"

JT nodded, his jaw clenched so tightly he swore he was going to break a tooth at any moment. "Yes, sir."

"OK, good. First, you are on conduct probation. This is an official notice, and I'm reading directly from the code of conduct here, that your ‘continued relationship with the University is conditional and dependent upon demonstrated and sustained compliance with University policy and the assigned action plan. Eligibility for certain University sponsored activities may be restricted while a respondent is on conduct probation.' Included in those activities is the Division 1 sports program. Mr. DiMara, you are no longer permitted to practice with the men's D1 ice hockey team, effective immediately through the end of this semester."

"Oh, my God…"

"JT, stop."

"Ty?" he whimpered. "They're not gonna let me practice!"

"Yeah? Good! JT, meet the consequences of your own stupid ass decisions…"

"Gentlemen, please," Mastersen interrupted.

"I'm sorry," Hayes responded, as JT slunk down into his chair and held his hands in front of his face. "No, sit up," he said, pulling JT's hands down and tapping him, after which JT fixed his posture. "You're a grown ass man, Jacob Tyler DiMara. Time to act like one."

"We're almost done. Finally, you are subject to a University housing sanction, which is loss of housing. Again, reading right from the code of conduct, ‘The respondent is ineligible to reside in University-owned or operated housing for a designated period of time. During this designated period, the respondent may not be present in any private residential areas, such as a resident's room or suite, of any University-owned residence hall or apartment building.' This also is effective immediately through the end of this semester."

Everything froze, and all JT could see, even with his eyes wide open, was black.

Ryker.

He'd just lost the room he shared with Ryker.

"That is the end of the action plan, Mr. DiMara. And while it's a hefty one, you're very lucky. I've seen students expelled for much less. I hope you understand that while this may seem like punishment, which it is, to a certain extent, you've truly been given a gift. You've got an opportunity to make some serious changes right now, and I do hope you will seize it.

"The action plan remains in place through the end of this semester. If you follow it and complete all of the necessary requirements, you will have a clean slate next year. If there are any slip ups, and I do mean any, you will be immediately expelled from Penn State University. Do you understand the information that has just been presented to you, Mr. DiMara?"

JT nodded sadly, as Mastersen slid copies across the table for him to sign. "Deb, do you have any questions, or is there anything you'd like me to clarify before we have Mr. DiMara sign?"

"No, thank you."

JT signed the paper, and slid it back across the table to Mastersen, who stood up. "This concludes our meeting. I thank you all for coming, and Mr. DiMara, I really do wish you the best. Off the record? You got seriously lucky. The arrest for assault alone could have been grounds for expulsion. You have Mr. McCreery and Dr. Namour to thank for saving your hide on that one. Their witness testimonies are what's keeping you here at this University."

All three of them shook hands with Mastersen, then exited the room and began the walk down the hall. "I will file the paperwork with the Office of Student Accountability for you today, OK? I'm sorry about the housing and the hockey, JT, but Mastersen was right. You could've been expelled. You got very lucky here."

JT said nothing as she patted him on the shoulder.

"Thanks for your help, Deb," Hayes said, shaking her hand.

"No problem. I'll be in contact if there's anything else I need from you or if I have any further information. Have a good day, gentlemen." And with that, she walked away, leaving Hayes and JT alone in the hallway. JT pulled out his phone, which was on silent, and noticed a text from Ryker.

R: Let me know how it goes ASAP, baby. I'm on pins and needles here!

He locked his screen and stuffed his phone back into his pocket before his knees gave out and he collapsed onto Hayes, who was right there to catch him. He didn't say anything; he knew there was nothing he could say that would make any bit of difference for the kid in this moment, so he just allowed him to cry for as long as he needed to.

After several minutes, JT pulled away, wiped his eyes and looked at Hayes. "Ty," he said, his voice barely above a whisper.

"Everything is gonna be OK, JT. I promise you. I've been in some of the darkest pits of fuckin' hell, been through shit you can't even imagine. But, I got through it and I'm still here. And guess what? You will, too. I know it feels hopeless right now, but you gotta trust me, JT. Everything is gonna be OK. Can you say it with me?"

JT nodded. "Everything is gonna be OK."

"Fuckin' right it is. Now, let's find you a home."