“For that moment, he didn't have to obsess over the fact that, having been orphaned at the age of 15, then sent away and shoved into an intensive hockey program with little time for anything else, he effectively had no clue who the hell he even was.”

Twenty-year-old Jacob Tyler DiMara's list of struggles is a mile long: anger and abandonment issues, guilt over his parents' deaths, academic inadequacy, social and legal issues, and uncertainty about his sexuality, to name a few.

Despite all that, one area in which he's never struggled is being an elite hockey defenseman. After barely making it through juniors due to several legal troubles, JT enters into Penn State University's NCAA D1 hockey program as an academic redshirt, where he's determined not to let anyone get too close.

What's the point when everyone he loves only ends up dead or hurt?

Through unexpected bonds with his polar opposite teammate/roommate and his much older female English tutor, he's been given the chance to learn what it means to love and be loved unconditionally.

Will JT let down his walls and form new connections that might finally allow him to find himself, or will he run like he always does?

“Hayes may have been strong, but when you've had to be strong for as long as he'd had to be, there eventually came a breaking point.

And he knew, as did Ryan, that he'd reached it.”

Following a chaotic year prior, 21-year-old professional hockey player Tyler Hayes has managed to secure a spot on the New York Islanders' opening night roster, to no one's surprise. Finally getting the chance to make a name for himself in the fast-paced NHL setting with his gorgeous boyfriend only minutes away in Bridgeport, things seem to be trending in the right direction for him.

But when did life ever come that easily for Tyler Hayes?

The flare up of an old injury, his deteriorating relationship, reawakened memories of repressed childhood trauma, and a smokin' hot new teammate with a propensity for partying.

The combination quickly drags him on a downward spiral of addiction, codependency, and depression, forcing him to learn the meaning of true rock bottom.

Will he defeat his demons, becoming the star everyone knows he holds the potential to be, or will he succumb to them, earning a place in history as just another washed-up has-been…or something much worse?

“I'm…kinda meeting myself for the first time ever. It's weird, but it turns out, I don't really know me.”

Assigned to the AHL affiliate for the New York Islanders after having just missed the cut out of training camp, 23-year-old Ryan Baylor finds himself in uncharted territory: sharing an apartment with the much older (and gorgeous) divorced cousin of his athletic trainer.

Realizing things have shifted, he struggles to navigate what his life has suddenly become: being the small fish in a big pond for the first time ever, his desire to have a meaningful relationship when all he's ever known are one-night stands, his tumultuous relationship with his new teammate, and his crippling panic attacks.

His story is far from perfect; it's real, it's raw, it's angsty, and it's a downright mess at times.

But how do you fix yourself and figure out who you're meant to be without first breaking through the shell of who you were?

***

If youre interested in a not-so-typical hockey romance, youve found it. Written in third-person omniscient point of view and packed with realistic dialogue, witty banter, and multi-faceted characters who youll love to hate at times, it captures what we all know to be true: real love looks NOTHING like it does in books and movies. And sometimes, the happily ever after we get isnt necessarily the one we expected.