Foreword

If you've returned after Breaking Ryan Baylor, I applaud you. That level of angst isn't for the faint of heart, so if you find yourself here, ready to read another CH Maddington book? Thank you and welcome back!

But full disclosure: this book is going to be a little different.

It's not going to be for everyone. It's a hockey romance and there is an HEA for the main characters; that much I can promise you. What I cannot promise you is an easy ride or that you will walk away feeling happy by the end of this book. Most likely, you will feel hurt, anger, and frustration, just as I did while writing it. We all know someone whose life has been impacted by addiction. Maybe it's your own or someone you love deeply. And my hope is that you can find some comfort in this story and perhaps even some catharsis as well.

I was inspired to write this book because I keep hearing stories about NHL players entering the NHLPA player assistance program, which is a program for NHL players and their families to receive help with mental health, substance abuse, and other struggles. The stories have weighed heavily on my heart; so many people are tempted to look at these young guys and think, "Wow, they've got money, fame, their dream job. What a fantastic life they must have!"

But if you know anything about addiction, it doesn't discriminate. Poor, rich, old, young, famous, obscure. No one is immune. And often, addiction comes with other issues, such as anxiety and depression. I wanted to tell a story that could resonate with those who've been through it, with the understanding that everyone's experience with addiction looks different. Your views on addiction might not be the same as mine, and that's OK. You're allowed to feel whatever way you feel.

As we know from Breaking Ryan Baylor, Ty is a bit of a ticking time bomb, and you're going to see him explode before I ultimately put him back together. This book is raw, it's gritty, it's emotional, and it doesn't pull any punches. As I said, our main characters will be OK, but you may not walk away smiling because, as a friend put it after beta reading for me, "Even though love wins, life goes on, life is hard, and life is real."

There are several trigger and content warnings that I urge you to read and understand before you decide to delve into Tyler Hayes's story. Additionally, I need you to understand that if you or someone you know is struggling with addiction, there is help available and you do not have to do it alone.

Trigger and Content Warnings:

High angst

Description of sexual assault

Description of sexual abuse of a minor

Description of alcohol and illicit hard drug use and addiction

Description of detox and drug abuse rehabilitation

Cheating

Codependency

Reference to abortion

Reference to domestic violence

Reference to sex addiction

Reference to anxiety/panic attacks

Depression and suicidal ideation

Postpartum depression

A LOT of very strong language

A LOT of explicit sexual content

*A bittersweet epilogue (death of a major character, death of a minor character, and cancer)

Despite all of that, my hope is that you enjoy this story and that it makes you feel something. Writing it definitely took a piece of me, but I have no regrets.

-CH Maddington