You Have a Gift. You Know That? （26）

"See? Everyone makes fun of my country ass, but there are benefits to having one of the good ol' boys on your team, Red," Macklin joked as they loaded the rest of JT's belongings into his lifted, 1976 Ford F-150. "Like, you never have to rent a U-Haul."

"Thanks, man. I appreciate you coming through on such short notice. I, uh, wasn't expecting to be moving today."

"No worries, man. You know I got you. Is that everything?" he asked, closing the tailgate.

"I think so. Ryk, that was it, right?"

Ryker nodded, his eyes bloodshot from having been crying nonstop for the past two hours after being blasted with the news that not only had his boyfriend been suspended from the team, but he'd also been evicted from their dorm.

"This isn't going to change anything, baby," JT tried to assure him while he'd stuffed his clothes into bags. "We'll meet up. If I have to sit outside fucking Pegula and wait for you every single damn day, that's what I'll do, OK? We will be fine."

"I need you, Banner."

"And I need you, Nerd. We're gonna get through this. Hey, look at me," he'd instructed, bringing a hand to Ryker's chin and tilting his face up. "You're one of the only reasons I didn't get expelled. Whatever you told them in the witness statement saved my ass. Thank you, baby. I don't know what you said, but thank you."

Ryker had shrugged, sweeping the tears from under his glasses away with his index finger. "I told them the truth. That you're one of the most selfless, amazing people in the entire world and that you're learning to navigate your trauma, doing everything you can to better yourself. That, like anyone else, you have good days and bad days, but that the progress you've made is to be commended."

JT had leaned in and pressed his lips against Ryker's. "I love you so fucking much it's actually insane."

Having removed everything from the room, JT threw a few more bags into the back of Hayes's rental car and signaled for Ryker to get in. "Just follow us," he called to Macklin, getting into the passenger side and proceeding to give Hayes directions.

When they pulled up to the complex, Audrey was waiting outside with Jess. "Figured we could use an extra set of hands," she said, as JT exited the car and approached her. They embraced, and she kissed him on the cheek while she ran her hands up and down his back. "Are you OK, Jacob?" she whispered into his ear.

"I don't…really know yet," he replied, pulling away from her. "It's all surreal. It's just…fucking surreal. But, uh, thanks for letting me stay here. I swear, it's only for a few months. I am going to stay out of trouble, stay out of your way, and the literal minute this semester is over, I will be out of here. I promise."

"I'm really not worried about it, Jacob. You practically live here on weekends as it is. Besides, you've kinda already paid for your share of the lease," she said, opening the back of the rental car and beginning to grab some of JT's bags, handing a few of them to Jess. "Hey, Ty."

"Hey, Audrey."

"Listen," Jess said to JT as they all began bringing the bags inside the building. "I at least have a one bedroom, so if she's driving you insane, or if you need a break, you're always welcome to come hang out at my place. Just text me first, in case I, uh, have company." She nudged him with her elbow as they waited for the elevator.

"Or, should I just text Carter?" he teased, elbowing her back. "Seriously, though, thank you. I appreciate it."

They got all of the bags into Audrey's tiny apartment, and JT had offered to order food for everyone, but Macklin had class, Jess had to get to work, and Hayes needed to get back home for a meeting with a potential partner for the rink.

"You know I can't leave it up to Rook. If it's a man who's even halfway decent lookin', he'll sell the place for a bag of fuckin' Skittles and a blowie," Hayes teased, as he and JT hugged in the doorway of the apartment.

"I mean, who doesn't love Skittles?" JT backed away, then reached his hand out to Hayes's, who looked at him curiously before shaking it. "Ty, I wanted to thank you. "

"You don't have to thank me again, kid. You know I…"

"No, let me finish. Please," JT interrupted, cupping Hayes's hand with both of his. "I've been an awful human being to you. The shit you and Ry have had to deal with? You guys didn't deserve any of it. I've destroyed your home, I've cursed at you and said terrible things. I've put strain on your marriage. I've…been a complete and total fuck up, but through it all, you've been there for me."

"That's what family does, JT."

"No, it's more than that, though. You taught me how to be a man, Ty. More than anyone else has. I learned more from you than…" He hesitated, then continued. "I learned more from you about what it means to be a man than I did from my own father, and I want you to know that I'm so grateful for you. Thank you for, like, not giving up on me."

"Well, shit," Hayes said, pulling his hands away and wiping his eyes. "Jesus, 20 years of livin' with Rook and I cry at everything now, too. I'll never give up on you, JT. You're… mine. "

"I know."

They both stared at each other intently, tear-filled eyes pleading with each other to just finally fucking admit what they both already knew, with both of them ultimately chickening out. "We'll talk soon, OK? Stay outta trouble, don't give Audrey any shit, and we'll…talk soon. I love you, JT."

"I love you, too." After watching Hayes walk away, JT shut the door behind him and turned around to see Audrey and Ryker giggling about something as she cleared out some drawers and he began to unpack some of JT's things into them.

He smiled.

Home.

?? ?

"Yo, hand me the Allen wrench."

JT grabbed a random tool from the bag, one that he was certain wasn't a hammer or a screwdriver, and gave it to Craig, the older maintenance guy with whom he'd been assigned to work in order to fulfill his community service requirement.

Craig reached out from under the faculty desk he was assembling and tossed it back. "Man, I said the Allen wrench."

JT threw his hands up, switching it out for another unknown tool and handing it over.

Frustrated, Craig shimmied out from under the desk and sat up. "Dammit, kid. You know anything about tools?"

I know you're a fucking tool, he thought, smirking, but beaming with pride that he'd only thought it and not said it.

Progress, right?

"Not, um, really," JT responded as Craig rooted around in the tool bag.

He found what he was looking for, and waved it in his face. "This the Allen wrench. This right here. Now, come on, hold this top part steady while I tighten it up."

JT stood up, grabbed the part where the leg met the top, and immediately shifted it off-kilter. "Sorry," he apologized quickly, readjusting it so that the holes lined up while Craig did his thing.

JT was on week two of his mandatory maintenance service. Having figured out the math, he had about 13 weeks to complete the required 40 hours, which worked out to about three hours a week that he'd scheduled for Wednesdays, seeing as he had no classes. It was perfect because he could complete his hours in the morning, meet up with Ryker for lunch, then shoot right over to Dr. Namour's office for one of his required anger management sessions.

Adjusting to life post-action plan hadn't been as difficult as he'd anticipated, and that had immediately raised alarm bells in JT's head.

At what point is it gonna come crashing down?

You're gonna break eventually.

You know you can't handle this.

But, as he'd been working so hard on doing lately, he pushed to combat those negative thoughts by trying to focus on the positives.

First, living with Audrey had been amazing. Not only did he get to cook dinner for her and sleep next to her every night, but Ryker would come over frequently whenever he didn't have an early practice or class, and the three of them would all hang out and sometimes even fall asleep together. They hadn't had another threesome since his birthday, but Audrey made sure to give Ryker and JT their alone time, especially since fucking in the dorm wasn't an option anymore.

Second, now that Audrey was tutoring him again, his rhet 2 average had gone from failing to a 73, and he'd knocked his most recent speech out of the park, shocking even his professor.

The topic?

The stigma attached to discussing our trauma.

The kid had absolutely fucking nailed it, with most of the class in tears and giving him a standing ovation at the end of it.

"JT," his professor had said, pulling him aside after class. "I don't know if you understand just how impactful that speech was. I got chills. I don't know much about you, but it's clear to me that you understand your chosen topic on a very deep level. I just want you to know how proud I am of you. You have a gift. Truly."

As he'd left class on a serious high that day, a girl was waiting for him in the hallway outside of the classroom. "JT?" she'd called, startling him as he walked by. "Can I, uh, talk to you for a second?"

"Yeah, of course."

The two of them had found a couple of chairs in a nearby student lounge, and after a few minutes of small talk with Abby, she broke down sobbing and confessed to him that she'd been raped at a campus party a few weeks ago.

"JT, I feel so dirty talking about it, like it's my fault, you know? Like I did something wrong. And, like, I don't wanna ruin someone's life. That's why I haven't said anything."

He'd offered to hug her, not wanting to impose if she wasn't comfortable with the contact, and she came to him with open arms. After she'd cried there for a bit, she pulled away and apologized.

"You don't have to apologize. Abby, I believe you, and I know it took, like, a lot of courage for you to tell me this. I want you to know that it's not your fault, and that you didn't do anything to deserve this."

After speaking for a while longer, their interaction had convinced her to go to the police and report the assault. JT reminded her that she didn't have to if she wasn't comfortable doing so, as it would require having to recount many of the painful details. She went back and forth for a bit, but eventually told him that she didn't want it to happen to someone else. He accompanied her to the University Police Station and held her trembling hand the entire time as she filed the police report.

Two days later, he'd received a call from Abby that the guy had been suspended indefinitely while they further investigated the incident. "JT, I'd never have had the courage to report this if it wasn't for your speech in class. I'm so grateful for you. You have a gift. You know that?"

So, as it turned out, JT DiMara had a gift.

Except when it came to tools, apparently.

"There you go, baby. Just like that. Easy peasy!" Craig stood up and patted the top of the desk a few times. "Shit ain't goin' nowhere now." He looked at the time on his phone, then turned to JT. "Yo, you wanna grab some lunch? Make you a deal," he said, extending his hand toward JT. "I'll buy you a sandwich if you promise to learn what these tools called. ‘Cause we can't be doin' this shit every week."

JT smirked, then shook. "Deal."

The two made their way down to the Freshens in the engineering building in which they were currently working, grabbed a couple Nashville Hot Chicken Flatbreads, had a seat, and began devouring them.

"So, what's your story anyway, JT? How you end up here with me, not knowin' shit about tools?" Craig asked, in between bites. "Community service?"

"Yep. I'm on conduct probation at the moment. I was…stupid."

"Uh oh. What'd you do?"

"Lost my temper, kicked a guy's ass, then trashed my dorm."

"Oh, shit," he said, wide-eyed with a mouthful of flatbread. "Remind me not to fuck with you. He at least deserve it?"

JT nodded. "Oh yeah. It was my girlfriend's ex. He treated her like shit. He said some things that pushed my buttons, and I…snapped. I mean, I've dealt with anger issues my whole life, and I've been, like, working really hard to fix them. It was just an unfortunate series of events.

"I got lucky, though. My boyfriend and my therapist submitted statements on my behalf and I was allowed to stay enrolled here. I did get booted from my dorm and suspended from practicing with the hockey team, though."

Craig dropped his flatbread and shook his head a few times rapidly. "Hollup, hollup. Back up, Terry. That's some pile of shit you just dropped on me, man," he said with a laugh. "You said girlfriend and boyfriend?"

"Yeah."

"And they both cool with it?"

JT nodded, opening his phone and showing Craig a picture of the three of them. "They're practically besties."

"Fuckin' white people, man," Craig laughed, taking a sip of water. "Hey, good for you. I ain't even got one person to love me, and here you got two."

"Nah, you're a catch, man. Look at you, all jacked and shit. There's probably girls lined up around the block for you." He paused, then added, "Or guys. I don't mean to, like, assume."

"No, it's girls. It's definitely girls, JT," Craig responded quickly, then his smile faded.

"What's wrong?" JT asked, noting the change in his facial expression.

"Nah, I just…miss someone, man. That's all."

"Did you wanna talk about it?"

Craig nodded, taking the last bite of his flatbread. "My wife. She been gone three years now. Cervical cancer."

"Damn. I'm sorry, man. I, uh, lost my mom to cervical cancer almost six years ago. Took her in two months."

"Yeah, it does that. My Angie, too. Seven weeks from the diagnosis to the funeral, man. That woman? She was one of a kind, though. We were together since high school, married for 32 years. Had two kids. I mean, they both grown now. It's been so hard without her. I try to keep myself busy, but some days, man? Some days…" He trailed off, tears forming in his eyes.

"Hey, so, like, tell me more about Angie. What was she like?"

His eyes lit up, and he proceeded to tell JT everything about his beautiful late wife, and before long, the two of them were showing each other pictures on their phones and laughing hysterically, like they'd known each other for years.

"...and I'll tell you what? When she got like that? I ain't said shit either!" Craig giggled, then checked the time on his phone. "Damn, JT. I gotta get back to work. We been down here over an hour. I guess you done for the day. Got plenty to keep you busy, with a girlfriend and a boyfriend to get to, huh?"

He smiled, as they stood up and walked their trash to the garbage can. "Something like that. Listen, Craig. You have my number, man. You ever wanna talk about Angie, call me. I'll listen. OK?"

"JT, JT," he said, reaching out his hand to shake it. "You got a gift, man. You know what?" JT grabbed his hand, and Craig pulled him in for a quick hug. "Thank you. It felt good talkin' about her. A lot of people, they don't ask me about her. I guess they scared to. But, man, it felt good."

"I'm serious. Anytime, day or night. Hey, I'll see you next Wednesday, alright?" he said, walking backward toward the exit and pointing at Craig.

"Do me a favor though?" Craig called.

"What's that?"

"Get some fuckin' flashcards and learn them tools. Imma quiz you next week. You better be ready!"

"Will do," he said with a laugh, before turning and walking away, his mother's words echoing in his head.

"Promise me you won't waste your life being angry. You've got so much to offer this world. I know none of this is fair, but you owe it to yourself to be happy. And you can't be happy and angry at the same time. You have to let it go, OK?"

And for the first time, he finally felt like he was ready to.