I Don’t Know Whether to Kiss You Right NowRun （14）

October

"You nervous?" Audrey asked, shivering, as she and JT hoofed it to the Burrowes Building. It was a short walk from JT's dorm, but it was 29 degrees outside.

"A little," JT replied, teeth chattering, as they walked faster, arms around each other .

"Don't be. It still pisses me off that we had to wait three weeks to get an appointment with your professors. It's bullshit. They're not that fucking busy."

"Well, we had to wait on the results of the evaluation from Dr. Namour, anyway."

"Which reminds me," Audrey said, as they entered the building. "You did bring the paperwork, correct?"

JT nodded and motioned toward his backpack. "Set an alarm for it last night so I didn't forget."

"Good. We're gonna get this taken care of, OK?"

"OK. Just to warn you, though. They're both complete douchebags."

"Don't worry, I have plenty of experience with douchebags, babe. I got this."

The two made their way up to the second floor and located the office of JT's rhetoric and composition professor, Dr. Lincoln. He invited them inside, where JT's introduction to American literature professor, Dr. Hall was also waiting.

"Have a seat, please," Dr. Lincoln said, motioning them to the chairs that faced theirs. "So, I understand you have some concerns about JT's progress in our classes. And you are?"

"Audrey Winston, assistant professor of English at Pennsylvania Highlands Community College. I've been tutoring JT for both classes since the beginning of the semester…I'm sorry, is something wrong?" she asked, noticing the two of them shooting each other a look as she shared her credentials.

"Not at all. Please continue," Dr. Hall responded.

"Right. So, I'm sure you've noticed that JT's averages have been consistently dropping in both of your classes, and I'm…"

"Yes, and we've also noticed that he hasn't asked for any extra help or attended either of our office hours," Dr. Lincoln interrupted her.

"Excuse me, I wasn't finished speaking," Audrey shot back, as JT's eyes continuously flicked between her and the professors as though he was watching a tennis match. "I'm here to talk about why that is."

"Well, quite simply, he's not putting in the effort, Ms. Winston."

"With all due respect, gentlemen, JT is putting in more effort than anyone I've ever tutored. The fact that he doesn't attend your office hours is irrelevant considering the packed schedule on which he is currently operating. Not only is he at hockey practice for a minimum of 12 to 15 hours a week, but he attends tutoring for no less than three hours a week with me, all while keeping up with two additional classes and attending bi-weekly therapy sessions."

"And?" Lincoln replied smugly. "This is college and he's a D1 athlete. He isn't the first elite athlete to attend this school. There are expectations for success and he has to meet them. Unfortunately, at the moment, he is not."

Audrey looked at JT, whose posture stiffened as his eye began to twitch. She immediately reached a hand over to him and placed it on his shoulder. "You're right, he isn't. And for very good reason. Gentlemen, are either of you aware that JT is dyslexic?"

The two men looked at each other, with Hall scoffing. "We've, uh, quite a bit of experience between the two of us. I think we'd be able to tell if he was dyslexic, Ms. Winston."

"Would you? Because he is, and so far, you haven't. Which is why I'm here to advocate for reasonable accommodations for Jacob Tyler DiMara as lawfully required under the Americans with Disabilities Act of 1990."

Dr. Lincoln blinked a few times. "You do understand that you can't just claim to be dyslexic because your current class averages aren't what you'd like them to be, that you actually have to provide supporting documentation which will need to be reviewed and approved by Student Disability Resources?"

Before she could even respond, JT reached into his bag, pulled out the manila folder, and handed it over to Dr. Lincoln. "Boom. Here are the results of the complete neurophysical…wait, hold on…neuropsycho logical evaluation done by my clinical psychologist confirming my learning disability. Oh, and, like, they all meet the DSM-5 guidelines and have already been submitted to SDR. So, yeah."

Audrey whipped her head in JT's direction. "When did you submit them?"

"This morning. That's what the website said to do." He shrugged, then looked at his professors. "And in the future, gentlemen, I'd appreciate it if you didn't accuse me of not putting in effort. I'm not just some dumbass athlete, despite what you wanna think of me…"

"JT, we never said…"

"You didn't have to," JT cut Hall off. "I might not be book smart, but I'm incredibly intuitive. You two could give a shit less about me. And, if we're being honest?" JT leaned in toward them, lowering his voice. "I could give a shit less about either of you or your classes. I'm here because I have to be, because if I don't pass, then I don't practice or play." He shrugged, sitting back up straight.

"At least you can articulate yourself verbally," Hall teased.

"Actually, he does well when speaking," Lincoln chimed in. "It's the writing piece that seems to hold him back, which makes sense, in light of recent information." He nodded a few times as he finished thumbing through the paperwork and closed the folder, resting it on his lap. "With proper documentation, the SDR will approve your request for accommodations, but it can take several days or even weeks. What is it you're requesting?"

"JT's dyslexia requires several accommodations in order to enable his successful participation in your courses. First, he will need extended time for tests and assignments. JT takes longer to process his ideas and get them into writing. Second, he will need to use assistive technology in the forms of text-to-speech and audiobooks, as well as speech-to-text. If speech-to-text is unavailable, then he will need the option to give his written answers verbally instead."

"Anything else?" Hall asked, checking the time on his phone. "I don't mean to cut this short, but I've got office hours in a few minutes."

"That'll do it," Audrey said, standing up, with JT doing the same. "Wouldn't want to keep you from the students who actually do want to learn, would we?"

"Ms. Winston, that's not fair…"

"Fair? You wanna talk to me about fair?" Audrey threw her head back, exaggerated a laugh, then pointed at them. "You dismiss my credentials as an assistant professor because I work for a community college…"

"That's not true…"

"Bullshit. I watched you. Then, you had the nerve to say JT isn't ‘putting in the effort' when he actually has a learning disability that neither of your fancy PhD's picked up on. This kid right here is one of the hardest working human beings I've ever met in my life, and he's overcome some of the most horrific shit in order to get where he is today just for you two overqualified clowns to talk down to him.

"Oh, and by the way, he's absolutely fucking brilliant , which you'd know if you took the time to get to know him as an actual person and not just as the name of some dumb athlete who happened to land on your roster. "Now, if you'll excuse us," she turned toward JT, "we're done here. I expect the accommodations to begin next class or I will be filing a complaint with the Civil Rights Division of the DOJ. Real nice meeting you both."

Flipping her hair, she turned on one foot and walked out the door, leaving JT standing there in shock. "I, um, so…OK," he mumbled, tossing his backpack over his shoulder, then turning to exit the office.

She'd gotten halfway down the hall before JT could even shut the office door behind him. "Hey!" he called after her, jogging to catch up and reaching out to grab her arm when he finally did. He spun her around to face him, feeling her arm trembling, and noticed a few tears had escaped her eyes. "Babe, what's wrong?"

Pulling her arm away from him, she bitterly swiped at her face. "It's…nothing. I didn't mean to lose my cool like that, start cursing at them. They just pissed me off so much. "

"Are you kidding me? The two of them looked like they were about to shit themselves, Aud. That was some of the most badass bitchery I've ever, like, witnessed in person. I don't know whether to kiss you right now or run."

She laughed, as he placed both hands on her cheeks, sliding them until they were tangled up in her hair. He backed her slowly against the wall, lifted her face, and pressed his lips to hers. She returned the kiss, gripping his hips as their tongues moved slowly against each other and she ended by pulling his bottom lip between her teeth. "You and these fuckin' lips , College Boy," she whispered against his mouth. "I'm slightly obsessed."

JT moved his hands to her hips and squeezed, then pressed his forehead against hers. "Thanks for fighting for me today." He pulled her away from the wall and they started back down the hallway together, hand in hand. "It really means a lot to have you…"

"DiMara?"

He heard a voice call from behind him, and both of them turned to see who it was. "Hi."

It was the blonde girl from his dorm with whom he'd had sex during his first few days on campus.

"Um, hey…um…" He stalled as he tried to remember her name, certain she'd never told him.

"Liv," she said, walking over to where the two were standing. She positioned herself in such a way that she was only facing JT, her back partially to Audrey. "I was really hoping you would have come by again. I thought, like, we had fun. But then, like, I heard you might be gay, so…"

Audrey let go of JT's hand and turned to leave, but JT wrapped both arms around her, placing her in between himself and the girl so her back was resting against his chest. "Liv, this is my girlfriend, Audrey," he said, kissing her on the cheek.

"Right, nice to meet you," Liv said, scanning Audrey's body from toe to head, then rolling her eyes. "Well, clearly your preferences have changed. Anyway, whatever. If, uh, all that doesn't work out, you know where to find me." She gave Audrey a final once-over, then turned and walked away.

JT felt Audrey sigh against him and squeezed her harder. "Fuck her," he said quietly.

"Something tells me you already have," she replied, pulling away from him and fixing her hair.

"It was before I met you."

"JT, I'm not…it's fine, OK? I'm used to that kind of shit. People make comments about me all the time."

"Did I handle it appropriately?" he asked, taking her hand again as they resumed walking down the hall.

"I think so," she said, reaching for her phone as she heard a notification.

It was Ryker.

R: I'm here. You guys coming?

They'd made plans to meet up with Ryker at the Starbucks across the street after the meeting so they could further discuss some of the particulars of their complicated relationship. One of the strategies Dr. Namour had suggested they use was to, over the course of a few weeks, jot down a list of questions and expectations they had for each other. This, he'd explained, would allow them to set healthy boundaries and ensure all of them had a say in the workings of the relationship.

JT hadn't been sexually active with either of them for the duration of those few weeks since the talk they'd had in the dorm. This, of course, minus the hand job he'd gotten that night from Ryker after revealing to JT that he was a virgin. The thought had gotten him so torqued up that a few quick, over-the-clothes tugs from his teammate had caused JT to cream his pants within seconds.

"Shit, Nerd," he'd said, pulling the sticky fabric away from his body. "I'm gonna last about 12 seconds when we finally get to it."

"It'll be the best 12 seconds of your life, Banner," Ryker teased, handing him a nearby towel.

"I don't doubt it."

But, aside from that, there'd been no sex with either of them. JT wanted to make sure that the questions they had, any concerns that were raised, were coming from a place of clarity, a place where they could truly be honest with themselves and each other about their feelings without having the waters muddied by sex.

In addition to their vow of abstinence, Ryker and Audrey had begun talking more over the past few weeks as well, and, as it turned out, got along famously. They'd gone for coffee a few times while JT had been in class, studying, or at the gym. And though they mostly talked about JT, they'd very much begun to enjoy each other's company.

It wasn't sexual at all. Audrey had helped Ryker edit and proofread a huge essay for his astrophysics class, and Ryker had helped Audrey chase a rogue seagull out of her apartment. It had flown in from the sliding balcony door, and when she'd called him in a panic, he'd come right over and chased the sucker out with a broom, despite the fact that he was absolutely terrified of birds.

Afterward, the two had sat on the floor in hysterics, Ryker sweating, his face paler than a sheet of paper. "Yo, I swear that fucker…was coming right for me!" he'd choked out between laughs.

"I'm gonna…fucking pee myself! Who has a seagull…fly into their…fucking apartment?"

"What's so funny?" JT asked, catching her chuckling to herself as they exited the Burrowes Building.

"Nothing. I was just thinking about that stupid seagull again. Anyway, that was Ryk. He's there."

"Cool. Guess he's just gonna text you from now on," JT mumbled, wondering if the jealousy he was feeling about their newfound friendship was normal.

Guess we're about to find out.