Chapter 13

CHAPTER 13

EMERSYN

W e left the Clubhouse hand in hand, bypassing the rats who worked out in the warehouse. I didn’t see any of the other guys, but it didn’t mean they weren’t around. Probably a good thing, cause there was a restlessness to Freddie even with his shy smile and flushed cheeks.

He pushed open the outer door that opened onto the alley. The fat, puffy white clouds above looked like they were just there to decorate the vibrant blue sky. The sunlight itself slanted down in shafts, though the alley was almost always in the shade.

It was chilly, and a little damp. The wet pavement and puddles were evidence of earlier rain. That had all blown out though. Freddie frowned and cut a look to me and my skirt. “Are you cold?”

“Nope,” I promised. Was it cooler out here? Yes. The air was also fresher and the breeze carried the scents of piping hot dough, coffee, and… “Oh, do you think the funnel cake cart is back?”

It had shown up last year for a few weeks. I probably gained five pounds from running down to grab one every chance I got.

“I sense a sugar rush in our future,” Freddie intoned almost playfully.

“These are the carbs we’re looking for.” I made a face and stuck my tongue out at him.

His laughter was exactly what I was going for. That said, his head was on a swivel and he kept checking ahead of us and behind. His hand was firm on mine, keeping me close. Not that I minded in the slightest.

“Coffee,” I said. “Funnel cake if it’s there. Then we can go grab donuts for everyone.”

“None of that is protein,” he reminded me.

I put a hand to my chest. “You sound like Mickey.” After a moment of thinking it over, I grinned. “And Jasper.”

He snorted. “I am thinking that someone eats a high protein diet on the road, so I don’t want you over indulging on the carbs and then beating yourself up for it later.”

The pragmatism of it was just so refreshing. “If you don’t mind a slightly longer walk, while we eat funnel cake and drink coffee, we could make our way over to 70th and Carpenter.”

“Korean barbecue?” Humming, he slowed as we reached the end of the alley where it spilled out onto the street. The sunshine dappled the sidewalks thanks to the sparse collection of trees placed at different intervals.

Foot traffic wasn’t that heavy, but it was late morning. There was heavier traffic on the street. The food carts were definitely open. The coffee place I liked was a block away and the funnel cake food cart was right there.

I could kiss the man.

“I don’t mind the walk,” Freddie said, glancing down at me. “You in the mood for steak on a stick?”

Laughter swirled up through me. I bounced a little and pressed a kiss to his cheek. Instead of flushing in embarrassment this time, his smile just grew. At his bemused look, I winked. “Just wanted to say thank you.”

“Uh huh.”

“And now, I want funnel cake.”

“That’s more like it.” Despite his teasing, he moved right with me and didn’t let much distance get between us as I made my way to the cart. The older gentleman with his crinkled face and easy smile welcomed us.

“Two please,” I said, holding up two fingers. “The big ones.”

“Powdered sugar?” He was already squeezing the batter into the hot oil. Fresh and hot funnel cake was the best. I bounced in place.

“Yes, please. For both of us.” I glanced at Freddie and grinned as he shook his head. “You don’t want it?”

“No, the powdered sugar is fine, Boo-Boo. I’m just enjoying you.”

“Well, then, by all means. Enjoy away.” When I reached for my wallet though, Freddie made a negative little noise and he already had the bills out to pay for everything. It wasn’t long before we had the hot crispy goodness bathed in powdered sugar.

I died and went to heaven right there in three bites. Funnel cakes in hand, we continued down the street. Freddie shortened his stride so I wasn’t having to take two steps for each of his.

The funnel cakes survived to the coffee shop. I had powdered sugar on my top and my fingers. Freddie cleaned me up and I helped him before we went in to order. I beat him so I could pay for the coffee.

“You can buy lunch,” I offered and enjoyed his chuckle. Hot coffee in hand in no time, we were back out on the street and walking down the block.

I found myself studying the area. Drenched in sunlight with sidewalk cafes opened, it was just nice. Granted, this route took us from the more industrial areas nearer the port and deeper into the city.

Quite a few windows showed signs of renovations and coming soon signs. On the corner at 75th there was a new sign proudly announcing a bookstore. There was also a date for the grand opening in just under two weeks.

We were still going to be here.

“You’re happy,” Freddie said when I paused to take a picture of the storefront. I wanted to make sure I didn’t forget. I also wanted to show Kel. The Vandals still liked looking after the area and this would be a fantastic addition to the neighborhood.

“I am,” I said, checking the image before I tucked my phone away. “It’s nice to be home. It’s nice to see all the changes out here.” Then I tilted my head up at him. I hadn’t brought sunglasses so I used my free hand to shield my eyes. “I’m enjoying being out here with you and I can’t wait to dance with you in a bit. So yeah, I’m definitely happy.”

“Is that the funnel cake and the coffee talking?” The teasing light in his eyes took any sting out of the words. He was never good about taking compliments.

“Maybe ten percent?” I said, scrunching my nose like I had to really think about it.

“Once we get your steak on a stick, that’s probably going to get higher, huh?” He let out the most resigned of sighs. “Well, a man has to do what a man has to do.”

It was silly and more than a little ridiculous, but I didn’t care. Like I’d said, I was having fun. It didn’t take us long to get to the Korean barbecue cart where he set up around the huge square with the fountain in the center. It was a great spot for lunch crowds to grab a bite and eat on the steps or on the wall around the fountain.

We split up briefly with Freddie getting in the line for the steak while I discarded our empty coffee cups. The pleasant buzz under my skin had me skipping back toward him.

“Hey there.” A guy stepped into my path, cutting off my view of Freddie. He was dressed in a suit, off the rack and not custom, and there was a mustard stain on his tie. He wasn’t that bad looking, but…

“Not interested,” I told him as I went to go around him. The movement of his hand in my periphery warned me he was about to grab my arm and I got hold of his thumb, peeling his grip off and bending it uncomfortably.

“Fuck,” he swore.

“Again,” I said. “Not interested. Don’t touch me.”

“Bitch,” he swore and I didn’t care about that so much. As tempting as it was to break his thumb, I let him go.

Leaving him behind, I headed back for Freddie, who stared daggers beyond me. He was halfway to me having left his place in line. “It’s fine,” I told him as I caught his hand. The last thing I wanted was for him to get angry or for some random asshole to spoil our day.

“He grabbed you,” Freddie said, his voice low, dark and dangerous.

“He tried to grab me,” I corrected. “I didn’t let him. Thumb lock worked.”

“What did he say to you?” Freddie split his attention between sweeping his gaze over me and staring past me. I had maybe a few seconds to save that guy’s life because Freddie’s temper was already lit.

“He said ‘hey,’” I said. “Then I told him ‘not interested’. He didn’t say much after I bent his thumb backwards.”

The word bitch really wasn’t much and I didn’t care what he thought. Freddie scowled and I squeezed his hand.

“I’m fine ,” I stressed the last syllable. “We’re still having fun, right?”

He blew out a long breath then switched his attention back to me. “I don’t like anyone grabbing you.”

“Then good thing for him I didn’t let him grab me. I was pretty badass about it.” I raised my chin, inviting the compliment and some of the anger bled out of his expression.

“You’re always badass, Boo-Boo.” He shifted his grip on my hand and then turned us back toward the cart. A lady waved us back to his spot. Apparently, she’d seen everything and she gave us a friendly smile.

Freddie still put me on his other side and I caught him checking the square regularly. I didn’t doubt he was looking for that guy but here was to hoping he was hell and gone. Then it was our turn and we got three huge steak on sticks for me, and two for Freddie. He also got us some sweet and sticky soy-glazed potatoes.

Treasures in hand, we found a spot on the steps near some shade and settled in to eat. Life hummed around us. There were moms out walking with strollers. Businessmen and women hurrying between buildings like they had appointments—to be fair, they probably did.

There were students reading or studying. Others, just like us, had grabbed a comfortable spot in the sun and shade as the fountain switched between the single spray in the middle and the multitude of smaller ones around the edges.

All they really needed was… Before I could even complete the thought, I saw the musician pulling out a violin and left the case at his feet.

“Music,” I said to Freddie. “Perfect.”

He chuckled as I took a bite out of my steak. Thankfully, he’d gotten a couple of bottles of water to wash down our lunch. The violinist started out classical, but he didn’t stay there. When he switched to more modern songs, I was impressed.

Tummy full, I leaned my head against Freddie’s shoulder. “Is this okay?”

“Yes,” he said, and the lack of any stress in his voice promised me it really was okay. Someone with a guitar had moved out to join the violinist and there was someone else with a saxophone. Whether they played together before or it was their first time, they gave us an amazing impromptu concert.

We lingered there for almost an hour, just soaking up the atmosphere and the music. When the musicians started packing up, so did we. After we tossed our trash, we swung by the musicians and gave them some bills for their performance.

Hand-in-hand once more, we began the walk back. “You know, when I was younger, I thought it would be so cool to be a street performer.”

“Dancing or doing tricks?”

“Probably doing tricks. I could dance, but I never see much of that out here. Musicians yes, singers and painters… occasionally a sketch artist. So maybe I could have cornered the market. There’s just something freeing about doing what you want when you want.”

“Yep, that freedom also comes with a tight budget and not a lot of food.”

“Don’t rain on my fantasy with your practicality.”

He snorted. “I’m not that practical. Remember, I’ve had a lot of different jobs, from convenience stores, to janitorial, to dishwasher in a restaurant. The jobs all sucked, but they paid. The guys were always making sure there was enough, but I needed to do my part.”

“Did you ever want to do anything specific?”

“Like Milo wanting to be a lawyer or Jasper just wanted to work for himself?”

I shrugged. “Something like that. Kel loves his shop and Vaughn used to love doing tattoos.”

“He will again,” Freddie said, soothing me. “Just takes time.”

It would. Trauma fucked us all up in different ways. “Yeah.” I sighed. “But yes, like them. Did you ever have something you wanted to be?”

Freddie didn’t answer right away, we passed a couple of blocks in silence before he finally said, “I don’t know. I never really thought about tomorrow much less next week, next month, or next year.”

That made my chest hurt.

“Didn’t think I’d ever have much of a future when I let myself think about it. Getting high helped with that, I could get blitzed and all that just falls away.” He gave me a small smile. “Being clean is a lot harder, but it’s all about one day at a time.”

Another block passed in quiet, then he gave my hand a squeeze.

“Sorry, I’m not much of a catch, Boo-Boo.”

I smacked his arm with my free hand. “Shut up. You’re amazing.”

He blinked. “I meant about the future planning and stuff.”

“Freddie, are you planning to be here tomorrow?”

"Yes.”

“Next week?”

He let out a long breath. “Yes.”

“Next month?”

“I get it…”

“Ah,” I waved a finger at him. “Just tell me yes, you’re planning to be here next month and next year. That’s all I need to hear. We can figure anything out, but I need you to be here. I need to know you’re not going to give up. Even if it gets hard or you need help, that you want to be here and with me.”

Pausing, he turned to look down at me. “Yes, Boo-Boo, this is where I want to be and I want to be right here with you. Today. Tomorrow. Next week. Next month. Next year. I promise.”

That lifted some of the weight off my heart. “I like this plan.”

“I guess it is a plan,” he said with a chuckle.

“Yep.” I bumped him with my hip. “Now, let’s head back and do your very first dance lesson. We’ll play your favorite song and we’ll dance together.”

“Here’s hoping I don’t suck,” he muttered.

“You’re not going to suck,” I told him. “You’re dancing with me. I got you.”