Chapter 12

CHAPTER 12

EMERSYN

E ach time we came home it took me a few days to reacclimate. I loved traveling, training, and performing. It was a constant flow of energy output. Our days were mapped out and scheduled. We might wake up in one city and go to bed in another, but there was a familiarity to the routine that I craved.

Coming home meant an entirely different routine. Time with the guys, resting, getting a bit of a break from the daily grind of performance and training. Not too much of a break because the last thing I wanted was to get sloppy, or worse, out of shape.

This was the first break I’d taken with Theo in residence. He’d been present at Kel’s birthday party, and I’d earned a quiet hello from him and a couple of words before Lainey arrived with Andrea. After that, he ignored me and Milo both.

Milo hadn’t cared for it, but accepted that we had to be patient. After all, he’d been patient with me. His snort had been pretty amusing at the description.

“Hey,” I’d reminded him with a little jab of my elbow. “I was worth it and so were you.” That earned me a kiss to the top of my head. Theo was a tough nut. If not for Mickey, Jasper, and Kel promising me that he was coming around slowly and talking to them, I would worry more.

For now, I trusted their thoughts on the matter. Rome was waiting for me as I descended the stairs. I’d gone to sleep with Mickey in my bed, but he was gone when I woke. He never stayed the whole night, he was always too worried about bad dreams and losing control.

“Hi,” I said, greeting Rome as he lifted me right off the steps and I wrapped my arms around his neck.

“I’m going out today. But I waited so I could tell you before I left.” That was huge for Rome. When we were home, he kept his own schedule. It had been a while since he got to paint anything.

“Okay,” I said, stroking my fingers through his hair before I dropped a kiss on his lips. “I’ll be at the Clubhouse all day. Jasper is on the road, but I promised him a date tonight.”

Rome nodded. “Liam will be back tomorrow.”

I sighed.

“Are you well?” Quiet intensity underscored his inquiry.

“Yes,” I said. “I promise. I love being home, but we’re all so busy. I like it when we’re all here, and it’s noisy and chaotic.”

“Jasper and Liam like hitting each other too,” Rome said and I grinned. That wasn’t quite what I meant by chaos, but it fit. “Tell them you want family dinner.”

Family dinner when we were all together. I chewed my lower lip. We’d make adjustments for Theo being here, but maybe if everyone was present, he’d relax more.

They were always asking me what I needed or wanted. I tried to do the same for them. “I’ll tell Kellan, but I think he is going with Vaughn to look at possible sites for his new tattoo place.”

It wasn’t a done deal, not yet. He didn’t want to make any decisions until we were going to be home longer term. That said, as much as I loved having him on the road with me, I didn’t want him to give up his interests for mine.

“Starling,” Rome said, recapturing my attention. His expression held a combination of understanding and curiosity.

“I’ll be okay,” I said. “I just worry about Vaughn.”

“You worry about everyone.” Rome pressed a kiss to my nose and then put me on my feet.

“I suppose I do.” Then again, they all worried about me. “It’s kind of what we do.”

“Yes,” he said before he shouldered his backpack. “Do you need me to stay?”

The offer made me sigh. If I said yes, he’d change his plans just like that. “No,” I said. “Go make something beautiful, and then show me when it’s done?”

“I will.” It was a promise. Then he gave me another kiss. “I have my phone.” For a moment, he studied me. I met his gaze without looking away.

At his nod, I smiled. “I’ll see you later?”

“Yes.” Then he was heading for the door and letting himself out. The downstairs was quiet, but it was also still early. I’d come for coffee, but I diverted to my studio instead. What I needed to do was get out of my head, that meant stretching and dancing for a little while.

After, I’d shower and then roust anyone else who was here to have breakfast with me. The studio was exactly as I left it, although maybe a bit cleaner. They didn’t let it get dusty and I appreciated that. Someone had also organized all the CDs.

It took me a few minutes to punch up the boxes on my toe shoes, and then to stretch. Once I was ready, I slid in a playlist and moved to the center of the studio. It was a thirty minute set. More than enough to warm up and exercise without overdoing it.

Eyes closed, I got into position and when the first note left the speakers, I was ready.

Freddie was sitting on the foot of my bed when I came out of the bathroom. I’d pulled on a tank top and panties after I toweled off but I carried the lotion out with me.

“Hey,” I said, smiling at him as I dropped to sit on the edge of the bed to apply the lotion to my legs. “Good morning.”

“Hey, Boo-Boo,” Freddie said. His hair was pulled back from his face into a loose ponytail. Dressed in jeans and a t-shirt, he looked relaxed. “You have any plans?”

“Not until tonight.” I ran the moisturizer over my arms and then up to my neck. My hair was still damp, but I’d run a comb through it and it fell in straight lines. It would dry eventually. “Jasper and I are going out.”

“He told me,” Freddie said, one corner of his mouth quirking up. “But you’re free until then?”

“Liam says I’m very expensive, especially when I keep making changes to the show.” He’d said with as much laughter in his voice as there was exasperation. “Course, he also complains when I don’t spend money so…” I spread my arms. “What are you going to do?”

“Make fun of him,” Freddie said with a chuckle.

I wrinkled my nose, but I couldn’t hide my own smile. “That’s fair.” I went over to the drawer and opened it. Since I wasn’t performing today or going out until later, I could dress in the comfy clothes.

“I know you just danced…”

I looked over my shoulder to find him staring at me with a nervous air shimmering around him. “Yes.”

He blinked. “I haven’t asked you anything yet.”

I pulled out a pair of leggings and then opened a second drawer to pull out a shorter, workout skirt. “My answer is still yes, but I will hold it in reserve until you ask the question.”

Clothes in hand, I turned to face him and leaned back against the dresser. The corners of Freddie’s mouth curved upward into an adorable smirk. “You will, huh?”

“I can do pretty much anything for you,” I said and all at once his expression softened.

“You know that it’s the same for me…and I’m working on the rest.”

“You’re perfect the way you are.”

He snorted. “I’m a lot of things Boo-Boo, but I’m not perfect.”

I shrugged. “You’re perfect for me.”

Freddie saw me and my damage long before any of the others did. He seemed to resonate with me and when I needed someone to truly understand, he was right there. If I could give him anything in the world, it would be the freedom from what happened to him. Since I couldn’t do that, I would treasure that he understood me and I would be with him every single step of the way.

A flush touched his cheeks and his ears went a little red. When he ducked his chin, I had to smother my own smile. I hadn’t meant to embarrass him but he deserved to hear how much I appreciated him.

He deserved so much more.

“I adore you,” I reminded him. “You can get away with anything you want, but you don’t get to talk bad about you. I’ll fight you on that.”

A huff of laughter escaped him. “What am I going to do with you, Boo-Boo?”

“Like I said, anything you want. Now, ask your question so I can say yes and figure out what I’m wearing.”

That earned me another chuckle. “Very gracious of you.”

“I have manners,” I said, almost primly. “It was one of the things Jasper liked about me.”

His actual guffaw tickled me. “One of the things…” The humor sparkling in his eyes chased away the shadows even as the flush in his cheeks cooled. “Boo-Boo, never leave me.”

“Cross my heart and hope to die,” I said, miming the motion. “Stick a thousand needles in some bad guy’s eye.”

Lips pursed, he straightened and raised his eyebrows.

“What?” I said, spreading my hands. “I don’t want to stick needles in any of our eyes.”

“You know,” he said. “Let’s just go with it.”

I beamed and he pushed up off the bed before he crossed to me.

“Up for giving me dance lessons today?”

“Absolutely,” I told him. “Can we grab food first?”

“We can do anything we want.” He glanced at the skirt in my hand. “Though if you’re wearing that, I need to go get more knives.” With that, he dropped a kiss to the tip of my nose. “Meet you downstairs?”

“Absolutely,” I said and when he pivoted to leave, I let out a little whistle. “I need to make sure I’m armed too.”

He cut a look back at me from the door. “Besides the obvious, why?”

“Cause those jeans are really working for you.”

The flush on his face returned and he pressed his forehead to the edge of the open door before looking at me again. “Then I better put a little sway in my step.”

“You won’t hear me complain.” Then I winked. The rush of color deepened but so did his laughter. It didn’t take me long to change.

Since he liked the skirt, I went with it and I stuffed my feet into the thick boots that hit me mid-calf. They had steel toes and definitely left a mark if I needed to kick someone. It also had a sheath on the inside for a knife. I pulled out the crossbody bag with the holster and packed in my gun.

Then I went into the bathroom and gave myself a critical look. My hair was still wet, so I just braided it back. I skipped the cosmetics, cause we were going out for fun, food, and then dancing.

Ready, I left the room and scrawled a note on the whiteboard near the door to our suite. It told the guys I was heading out and I had my phone and who I was with.

Downstairs, Freddie straightened as I leapt the last three steps. “Ready,” I told him and he grinned. When he held out a hand, I clasped his and then we were off.