20. Asher

ASHER

M y pack being so coherent during Phaedra's visit gnawed at my mind so much I couldn't sleep. All through the night, my brain had kept turning over the possibilities for what it could be, and now I was working on fumes and strong coffee.

I shifted into my wolf form and jogged around the territory, letting my brain work. No one in my pack had been to Heartbridge Cave, and none of them had fated mate marks. But they had all been within a few yards of Phaedra. Even after she'd left, her presence had prevented us all from shifting for the better part of an hour. It was the first time in months that an evening ended without some of them having to be talked back from going feral.

For all those hours of thinking, I'd proved to myself that Phaedra counteracted the urge to shifts somehow, but I had no idea why. Did it have something to do with the fact she'd been impersonating Holo for the better part of five years? Or was there something in her past that gave her the ability? Whatever the reason, I doubted she was aware of what she was doing. If she or any of the Wilcox pack knew she could suppress shifts, they would never have abandoned her.

I returned to my cabin, shifted, then finished off the coffee I'd brewed that morning—not that caffeine was helping. There was a constant buzz humming in my blood. Lately, the only time I felt anything was when I was around Phaedra.

"Asher." Taig's voice cut into my thoughts as I was leaving my cabin.

"What is it?" I asked.

He didn't answer immediately. He took in my tousled, exhausted appearance, and pursed his lips. I knew that look. He could see that I wasn't at my best, but none of us were. With every passing day, more of us got closer to losing the battle against our wolf nature.

"The soldiers from the Coldcrow pack are gone, and they took about half out meat stores with them."

"What?"

He walked with me as I stormed toward the temporary housing that we'd set up for Selene's men. It was empty, completely devoid of life. From there, I went to the place where we stored our meat and found many of my pack running around, close to panicking because the stores had been halved overnight.

I cursed to myself, then whistled to call the attention of my people. My whistle was loud enough to call my soldiers to me. I had the gazes of more than enough people. If there were any who weren't listening, they'd learn what I had to say soon enough.

It didn't surprise me that Selene had decided to pull her support, but I hadn't expected her to further doom our pack by taking our food. She'd said that meat wasn't her only priority, and yet that was all she'd taken from us. Goddess, I wanted to read it as a purely spiteful action, but as an alpha with my own pack to consider, I couldn't completely blame her. All I could do was hope that this was the extent of her vengeance against me.

"It's time to stage another attack on Wilcox territory," I announced. "We need to recuperate the meat the Coldcrow have stolen from us."

One of the wolves who manned the meat stores stepped forward and pointed a finger at me. Her face was bright red with her rage, but her finger trembled. "They wouldn't have taken it if you had just followed through on our deal!"

Her accusation caused another wave of panic through my pack. They turned to each other, agreeing with her. I let them express their emotions for a little while, tasting their desperation on the air, and then I whistled again, sharper this time.

"I know I've failed you all in so many ways," I told them. "The circumstances leading up to my decisions haven't all been within my control, but it doesn't matter. I've let you all down, but I am still committed to fighting for you and to making sure you are fed."

It wasn't much in terms of assurance, but as our feral natures threatened to take us over, concerns about food were highest on their priority.

"I am still committed to getting control of this curse," I said. "But with the Coldcrow leaving, that means we need more volunteers to step with me on the front lines. I need volunteers, not to fight, but to bring the meat we take down home."

It took a few minutes to gather recruits, but I managed to convince a handful of wolves to join us on Wilcox land. I was feeling wired and anxious, my blood thrumming through my veins. Part of me hoped I'd get to fight Connor or his father, but this was a stealth mission. In and out with as much venison as we could carry.

With my forces gathered, I turned to my men. Taig and my uncle were among them. I felt I'd lost a great deal of respect from my right-hand, and I doubted I'd ever get my uncle to stop looking at me with such doleful, sympathetic eyes. When Phaedra had been here yesterday, he had been apologetic, but had suggested that I take Phaedra home as quickly as possible. I hadn't wanted to listen, but she only ended up staying an hour on our territory.

"Remember," I told them. "Our job is to make the kills and help drag away larger prey. If anyone tries to stop them, protect our people. And, as much as we can, we need to keep this operation under the Wilcox pack's radar."

"Understood!" they answered collectively. They were on board for this. My men were better at keeping their feral natures away than the others, but only marginally. A few of them looked like they were barely keeping it together. I doubted I looked much better off.

We shifted and set off for the Wilcox lands, finding a corner of their territory that wasn't swarming with guards. We dispatched the few guards quietly and spread through the forest. Our priority was big game.

Things went well at first. My best men and I made quick work of the big prey we found, but there weren't as many moose available as I would have hoped. It was like they were being kept away from the area, but that wasn't possible. We had entered with our usual stealth; Connor shouldn't have known we were here yet. And anyway, he wasn't much of a strategist, so there was no way he was capable of planning a trap like this. Suddenly, I felt very uneasy.

One of my soldiers howled in pain about a mile away from where Taig, my uncle, and I were hunting. The three of us immediately went to find out what had happened. On the way there, other members of my pack joined us, but not as many as there should have been. Where were my men?

We crossed that distance in record time, but what we found made my blood run cold. The men here—most of the people I'd brought on this mission with me—were on the ground, injured and bleeding. As the three of us went to tend to them, Wilcox pack wolves erupted from the trees surrounding the area.

They appeared like ghosts, their fangs bared. And without warning, they lunged to attack. It was all my men could do to keep them at bay, but we were hungry and weakened. More and more of the Wilcox pack arrived, overwhelming our numbers until, one by one, I watched my wolves lose their battles. What was the reason for this? Was this a leaderless assault?

But no, soon, I spotted a flash of crimson between the trees. It was Edgar Salcedo, watching the battle with his hands behind his back in his military uniform. His expression was infuriatingly calm.

Fuck! I should have been more suspicious of the fact the corner wasn't well-guarded. I knew my men had managed to hunt down most of the meat we needed, but that didn't change the fact I'd played right into Edgar's plan.

If I'd known he was there, I would've been able to use the confusion to my advantage and take him out. But here we were, getting our asses handed to us. Edgar had us beat… for now.

With all my men too injured to continue fighting, Edgar finally stepped out from between the trees to speak to me. I shifted into my human form. I was injured, but the pain was negligible compared to my indignation.

"I hope you'll forgive the unfair fight," Edgar said. "Unfortunately, your pack has been very pushy lately about hunting on my territory."

"This is an unexpected surprise, Edgar," I said. "I thought for sure it would be your son facing me."

"Yes, my son." He rolled his eyes. It was such a casual gesture that I wouldn't have expected someone like him to make it. "I tried to let my son take care of you, but obviously he hasn't been able to handle it. Now I have the unfortunate task of doing the work myself."

I glared at him. I could almost understand why Phaedra liked him. There was something charismatic about the almost-apologetic smile he flashed my way. But just because she liked him didn't mean I could let this opportunity slip away.

He had won this skirmish, but the victor of the war hadn't been decided. Right here, right now, I could shift and rip his throat out. If he got even a little bit closer, I could end my pack's troubles today. He moved closer to me, then another inch. I waited until he was within a few yards of me… Now! I tensed my muscles, leaning forward to shift… but nothing happened.

Confusion rippled through me. Shame mixed with frustration inside me as I struggled to call my wolf forward. In all this time, since I shifted for the first time, my wolf had never refused my call nor been as silent as he was now.

I could do nothing but endure the humiliation of my men watching as Edgar moved within an arm's length of me.

Edgar read the panic in my face and his smile widened. "I have to give it to you, Asher," he said to my stunned expression. "I had expected a raid, but I didn't think you would have had other wolves carrying away your kills that way. It was a decent plan. A really decent plan. So, as a show of respect from one strategist to another, I won't send my men to hunt them down and bring that venison back. It's not like we're suffering for meat." He bent slightly so we were at eye level. "But that is as far as my generosity goes. I want you and your men off my territory within five minutes. Any longer, and I'll have them killed. Understood?"

My mind was racing so quickly, I almost didn't understand what he was saying to me at all. But then a realization cut through the panicked thoughts, and it all became crystal clear. Edgar knew he had the ability to control us. It wasn't fear that prevented me from shifting.

Edgar was suppressing my connection to my wolf.

Ice spread through my veins, freezing my blood. If he knew, why didn't he conquer us? Why hadn't he killed us? And why had he wasted time letting Connor handle these skirmishes when he could so easily put a stop to them? Could it be that his plan was always to let us to go feral and quietly fade into the background? If so, he must have been waiting for us to be at our weakest before he risked revealing this secret to me.

This bastard was in complete control of this situation, and there was nothing I could do about it.

With no other options available to me, I turned stiffly from the Wilcox alpha and called for the men who could still move to take the wounded and carry them back to our lands. We had to retreat. There was nothing more I could do. But this wouldn't be the last time Edgar saw me. He had let me live today because he expected the Dagger pack to slowly go feral, and that would be his last mistake.

On the day of Connor's ascension, he would be at his weakest. His alpha powers would be transferring to his son, and the curse itself would be dissipating. It was possible that the reason he hadn't taken control over everyone was because he couldn't manage it. On that day, I would storm his manor and kill him if it was the last thing I did.

Now that I had better insight into who Edgar was as a man, there was no need to hesitate the next time I was in his presence. Phaedra might not like that, but at this point, it was out my hands.