21. Phaedra

PHAEDRA

I couldn't find Eleanor. Days had passed since I received the letter with no sign of her. I'd gone to her village to find out if they knew what had happened to her, but they told me they hadn't seen her since I'd collected the dress. That meant two things: one, I was the last person to see Eleanor, and two, the feeling I'd had of being watched hadn't been paranoia. Whoever had watched me had taken El, that much I was certain of.

Asher, I knew, was a great tracker. I hadn't seen him since Wednesday either. It was Saturday now. It would be difficult to bring him to Den City without attracting attention, but he might be able to give me advice or… who was I kidding? I needed his help, and if that meant I would be accused of treason for bringing an enemy wolf onto Wilcox territory, I'd do it. I was that desperate to find my best friend.

After another day of miserable work, I started heading toward Heartbridge Cave, but I didn't make it to the edge of Den City before high-wolf society guards surrounded me. My wolf growled, and I was angry enough to growl with her.

"What the hell is this?" I demanded.

"Connor Salcedo wishes to speak to you?—"

"I don't care." I tried to push past them, but they stepped more firmly in my path.

"Phaedra, it is an official summons."

"Tell him he can go to hell." I tried again to push past them, but they grabbed me. I struggled, but I couldn't do anything without shifting. We were outnumbered, but my wolf wanted to come out and fight these guards. It had been days since she'd been in control. I really, really wanted to let her take over, but then I'd be revealing my biggest secret to Connor's men. I had no choice but to stay in my human form.

They hauled me into a carriage that took me to the alpha manor. They dragged me into Connor's room and shoved me inside, slamming the door behind me. And there was Connor, at his mantle, smiling as he sipped his wine like this were a social call.

I glared at him. "Why have you kidnapped me a second time, Connor?"

"Let's not throw around harsh words like ‘kidnapped,' Phaedra. Though I admit, it is a shame we weren't able to give you more advance notice." He stepped away from his mantle and headed toward me. "If we had, would you have worn a dress like the one you wore on Wednesday? From what I'm told, it was much, much more flattering than these stained jeans."

I decided not to dignify that with a response. "Connor, why did you bring me here?"

He swirled his wine. "I just wanted to reunite you with your friend."

He walked toward his closet and opened it. Inside was an ornately decorated birdcage, and it held Eleanor.

"El!" I exclaimed at the same time that she shouted, "Phae!"

I rushed toward her, but Connor held out his hand, stopping me.

"Not yet, Phaedra. You and I need to talk first."

I ignored him. "El, are you hurt?"

"No, I'm not," she said. She stared daggers up at Connor. "But I am pissed as hell."

So was I. At least I knew she wasn't injured. I turned my attention back to my ex, my blood boiling.

"Oh, Phaedra, don't look at me like that," Connor said. "This isn't a big deal. You should be glad I wasn't more aggressive about getting your attention."

"What are you talking about?" I asked through clenched teeth.

"I know about your little rendezvous with Asher."

Okay, so he knew about me and Asher, but that wasn't the biggest secret. As long as he didn't know I had a wolf, I didn't care. "So what?" I demanded. "You think that justifies abducting my best friend? She is innocent in this."

He waved that away. "I told you, let's avoid using those sorts of accusatory words. I'm trying to help you out, Phae."

I wished he wouldn't call me by that nickname. He no longer had the right. "I'm really, really struggling to see how this is helpful to me at all."

"Well, Phae, I don't know what lies our enemy has been filling your head with, but he isn't who he seems. He already has a chosen mate. A woman with dark brown hair. A woman who has fought for everything she has. And from what I've heard, despite her struggle, she's turned out to be a real beauty." He tutted at me and shook his head pityingly. "Someone like you could never compete. That's why I'm so disappointed in your lack of pack loyalty, Phaedra."

I gritted my teeth. El had already told me that she suspected Asher had a mate. Even though it wasn't a surprise, I didn't like hearing the same suspicion echoed by Connor.

My wolf howled, and I struggled to contain her rage. Before I could stop myself, I pushed my hair over my shoulder and pulled down my shirt. "He wouldn't have given me this if he already had a mate."

Seeing the claiming bite, Connor's expression changed. He tossed his wine away. Before it shattered against the wall, he was in front of me, grabbing my arms and sniffing me. I forced myself to stand still as he poked his nose into my neck. I still wore perfume to cover the scent, but this close, he'd be able to scent it.

When he finished his assessment, he pushed me away, just like he used to do when we were kids. I stumbled back but caught myself before I lost my balance.

"You're a fool, Phaedra," he said, scowling. "That idiot is playing with you. A claim isn't complete until the alpha knots in you. I told you already: his chosen mate is another woman. Selene Cinna, the female alpha of the Coldcrow pack. She's been supplying the Dagger pack with men in exchange for mating with Asher and combining their packs." He shook his head and stepped away from me. "He probably just wanted to screw around with you until it was time to take his true mate. Or worse, he might have wanted you as a mistress."

I curled my hands into fists, trying my best to keep the hurt off my face. Loath though I was to admit it, Connor's words cut me deeply. The only thing keeping me from bursting into angry tears was my belief in the fated bond I shared with Asher.

"You don't know what you're talking about," I said. "You're just upset you can't control me."

When Connor turned to me again, his scowl was gone, but the darkness in his gaze had taken on a cruel edge. "And you can see what being out of my control has done to you. True, you won't be able to be claimed by any other wolf, but you never had a chance of that happening anyway. You're destined to be a spinster since you can't shift."

I blinked but didn't otherwise react to that last sentence. It was a relief to have it confirmed that he didn't know about my wolf. It was clear to me that Connor had sent Randall or someone else to follow me around, otherwise, he wouldn't know about Asher. If he didn't know about my wolf, that meant I wasn't being followed constantly. It was just luck they hadn't seen me shift yet. I'd need to be even more careful if I wanted to keep Connor in the dark.

When I stayed silent, Connor let out a growl. He stormed up to me, anger cracking the handsome mask of his face.

"Say something, Phaedra!" he boomed. "I'm telling you that you've ruined your life, yet you just stand here in silence?"

I raised my chin. This was the Connor I knew. The one who blew up at me when I didn't play along with his stupid games, or when I won against him, or when someone pointed out how he fell short of his father's excellence.

"I don't know what you want me to say," I said. "Even if I believed what you're telling me, my alternatives aren't better, are they?"

He frowned. "What are you hinting at?"

"You really don't get it, do you, Connor? Because you rejecting me and banishing me from my old home, my options were limited. I could either become part of an enemy alpha's harem or accept my life as a maid in Den City and hope I could save enough to pay off my loyalty contract." I glared up at him. "I wasn't aware you had a third option for me: gifting me like a piece of property to your right-hand. Considering what was available to me, I don't think the path I've chosen is all that bad."

He stared at me for a little while longer, then a smirk spread across his lips. "Ah, I see what's happened. A little pipsqueak overheard the joke I made to Randall and went behind my back to tell you about it." His chuckle was evil. "I guess, in a way, this is all Penny's fault, isn't it?"

I didn't know if Penny and I were still friends, but it didn't matter. I hated the way he was talking about her.

"No, Connor, it's yours. Why would you make a joke like that?"

He brushed that aside and continued speaking. "My right-hand already has a mate, Phaedra. And even if he didn't, he has no need of a shiftless wolf when he is surrounded with premium female wolf ass."

My lips curled in disgust as his wicked laughter echoed through the room. I hadn't known he could be so nasty, so crass.

When his laughter died down, he turned to me again. "Oh, Phaedra, how wrong you've been. Call me sentimental, but I don't want to completely abandon you to your fate. The way you've suffered is penance enough for how you embarrassed me that day you couldn't shift. So, why not come back to me?"

I grimaced. The idea of being with him again repulsed me.

He rolled his eyes. "Phae, please. I think it's clear to us both that I am far out of your league. No, what I meant is come back to the manor. I'm sure I'll be able to find you some comfortable work here. My informants tell me you like the library. I think that's a fitting job for a future spinster."

I narrowed my eyes at him. "Why would you do that for me? You act like you hate me, but you want to keep me in your manor?"

"Does that confuse you? I suppose it would. Why don't we just say that I still have a few positive feelings for you and the wonderful childhood we shared."

"Wonderful" wasn't the word I'd use to describe our childhood. The countless temper tantrums Connor used to throw came to mind, but I wouldn't bring those up while he was feeling so generous.

"I can't give you an answer right away," I said. "I need some time to think it over. And I need to confront Asher to see if you're telling the truth about him. If you're right, I'll leave him." And I'll find a way off of this godsforsaken island.

He smiled the way he always did when he won a game he'd rigged. "That is as good as saying yes, Phae, but have it your way. Take your time to think, and feel free to take your pix. That way, you won't be able to say I have been mistreating you."

That was all Connor did, but he was letting me go, and I didn't need to waste another second standing in front of him like this. I rushed to the cage and freed El. She flew into my hands, and I kept her nestled closely to my chest as I rushed out of the manor. When we were back in Den City, I felt it was safe enough to let her out.

"Eleanor, I am so sorry this happened to you," I said, the tears that had been burning the back of my eyes finally spilling over. "If I'd known Connor was going to kidnap you just to get to me, I would have warned you. I would have tried to keep you safe. I—" My lip trembled, and I couldn't find the words to continue.

"Oh, Phae." She pushed away a tear that had fallen down my cheek. "It's not your fault. Your prick of an ex was the one who sent that oaf to grab me. There was nothing you could do. You can't control his behavior any more than he can control yours."

"You're so good to say that, El." I sniffled. "I thought I might never see you again."

She pressed her cheek to mine, and we shared a few seconds of relieved silence while I got control of my emotions.

When I felt more like myself, I wiped away my tears with the sleeves of my shirt. "Do you think Connor was right about Asher?"

She seemed unsure how to respond. "I don't think it matters so much what I think, Phae. What do you think about it?"

I mulled it over. My belief or disbelief in Asher would dictate whether or not I stayed on Isle Royale.

"Well… I know I don't want to believe anything that comes out of Connor's mouth. I don't put my faith in very much, but I want to trust that our bond is proof that Asher is as devoted to me as I am to him. He told me he loves me, and he introduced me to his pack. Why would he do that if he had a chosen mate?"

"It sounds like you're about to add a ‘but,'" El pointed out.

I sighed and sniffled. "But… his pack was not excited to see me there. They treated me like I had the plague, not like I was their alpha's mate. And, like I've told you, he gets cagey when I ask him about his pack or about past lovers. As for the knotting part…" I paused to take inventory of myself.

Since El's kidnapping, I'd been too worried to think about much else than finding her and working. But now that I had a quiet moment to myself, I felt the itch of my heat. It wasn't anywhere near as intense as it had been in the past, but it was there.

"The mate bond is making me go into heat again," I admitted sullenly.

"Phaedra." El patted my cheek. "It sounds like you need to have an open discussion with Asher. You need to find out if he is who you think he is."

She was right, but I wasn't looking forward to it. I didn't care about the knotting, but a chosen mate was another matter entirely. If I found out the man I'd fallen in love with had abandoned a woman the way Connor had abandoned me… I wasn't sure I'd survive the heartbreak.