Chapter 34

All These Senses…

NOW

(Leith)

I finally unzipped the dress.

I did so with my lip curled and as fast and hard as I could.

Beth moaned when I did so, knowing I had been waiting all damn night for this moment. Everything about the wedding had been what I had figured it would have been. Then add to it everything about Beth's past and it was a little tough at spots.

But now it was more than worth it.

My lips kissing along her bare shoulder. Something about the strapless bra Beth wore made my heart hit inside my chest a little harder. I kissed down to the clasp of the bra and used my right hand to twist and unhook it.

It fell the floor at her feet as the dress still hugged the beautiful curve of her hips.

I took care of that and ran my hands up the back of her legs, feeling her shiver to my touch. At her hips once more I gently ran my fingertips along the thin lines of her panties. As I eased them down her legs, I kissed the middle of her back. I shut my eyes and took a deep breath, inhaling the scent of her skin.

I continued to kiss up her back going for her neck where it seemed the entire night started. Me standing behind her, kissing her neck, wanting her in a way that didn't seem possible. Only now we had nowhere else to go.

I quickly turned her around and cupped her face.

My beautiful Beth, standing before me completely naked, and I was touching her face.

My shirt was unbuttoned and my pants undone.

She didn't waste a moment as she moved as fast as I did to push my pants down.

As I stepped out of them, her hands moved up my chest to my shoulders to take the shirt off next.

And just like that we were both exposed to one another.

I put my hands to her hips.

She put her hands back to my shoulders.

We just stood there.

Almost swaying, as though some cheesy slow song was playing in the background.

This was falling in love again.

Not that we needed to do that.

I knew how I felt about her.

But the moment between us…

Beth suddenly gasped and kicked her right foot.

"You okay?"

"Sorry," she said. "Your phone scared me again."

"Is that a cell phone in your pocket or are you happy to see me?" I asked.

Beth moved her right hand to my cheek and she gently slapped my face. "You're…"

"What?" I asked.

"I don't even know, Leith."

"Good."

I turned and lifted her.

I gently placed her on the bed and moved after her. My right hand dipped between her legs, sliding against her warm slit. My middle and ring fingers curled, pressing against her soft skin, feeling her welcoming my touch. Beth arched her back and thrust her chest at me, which I wasn't going to complain about or let her forget what she had done.

My mouth moved over her left breast and I took her into my mouth. Full, soft, warm, with her nipple hard at the center. She tasted delicious, so much so, that I needed to do the same to the other breast.

I pulled away and Beth sighed.

"Leith… I need you…"

Her voice purred.

My fingers between her legs made small circles as I teased her.

I eased my fingers up and flicked against her nub.

Her hips bucked and she groaned again.

I tasted her right breast and slowly kissed up to her shoulder and across to her neck. I moved my hand from between her legs, leaving the sweetness of her honey as a trail on her lower stomach as I rested my hand to the bed.

As I lowered my body down to hers, she sighed again.

When I touched her, she thrust and clenched against me.

I sucked in a breath and put my lips to her ear.

"Beth, I fucking love you," I whispered to her. "I mean that. You are the only thing in this world that makes me think forever might be real."

Beth didn't reply.

Instead, she put her hands to my lower back and pulled at me.

Wanting me.

I came down with force and offered all I had to her.

She gasped, then cried out and gasped again.

Her lips crashed to my shoulder, followed by her grazing her teeth to my skin as she groaned louder.

I stayed right there, my body against hers, moving with a slow force. Inch by inch as I pulled back and slammed forward. The feel of her body reacting to mine. A deep tightening pulse that happened when she groaned.

At one point I just held there, taken to the hilt, our bodies unable to be closer. My hands flat to her bed as I lifted up to look at her. Our eyes met. Her cheeks were flush. Her lips quivering. I moved down and kissed her. One soft kiss. One slow kiss, my tongue writing that I loved her against her tongue. And then the next kiss was anything but soft or slow. We began to fight each other, which was a fight worth having.

As we kissed, I thrust at her.

Beth groaned into my mouth, only making the kiss that much better.

We stayed there, kissing and fucking, right up until Beth slapped my back with both hands. Her nails squeezed into my skin as she put her head back.

I felt her climax as I sank deep into her again and stayed there.

Her nails scratched up my back as our eyes met one more time.

I kissed her and she released her death grip on my back.

Her hands were flat against it.

I put my forehead to hers.

I started to move again, taking her for myself.

Slow and thorough, in a way I never remembered really doing before.

This was beyond being in bed together. This was beyond the pleasure.

This was love.

Beth moved her hands to my shoulders and held tight.

She slowly nodded. "Leith… yes…"

I gritted my teeth as she felt so good. Tempting me into finishing our moment. But I wasn't done. I never wanted to be done.

I lowered my mouth to her ear again. "I love you, Bethany."

She groaned. "Love you, Leith."

Her hands wrapped around me like she was hugging me.

I forced my hands around between her and the bed.

We held each other.

We loved each other.

I grunted when the final second came and I could no longer hold back.

Each time I pulsed inside her, Beth whimpered into my ear.

And just because I was finished didn't mean I was done.

The room was completely dark.

Which seemed to make my other senses seem heightened. The way her skin felt. The way her hair smelled. Even the sound of her voice. Or just her breathing.

This was the most intense kind of love I ever felt in my life.

"Leith?"

"I'm still awake, angel," I whispered.

"Can I tell you everything?"

"Everything?"

"Everything you've been wondering."

"Of course you can."

"I've always loved you," she said. "And I still love you. I do love you. I never stopped loving you for a second."

I squeezed her tighter. "I love hearing that. "

"But I married someone else."

I swallowed hard.

"I married someone else to try and convince myself that it was okay to stop loving you," she said. "I thought to myself that people must love other people, right? I mean, everyone has their first love. And they have their first heartbreak. And everyone probably has that one person who got away where they wonder what could have happened. Even still, those people move on and get married and have kids. They have a good life. They don't regret it. It's just that they could have this idea of what if …"

I started to move my left hand up and down her left hand.

She kissed my chest and let out a long breath.

"I never had that," Beth confessed.

"Never had what?"

"There was never a thought of you actually being gone. Ever. And yet I forced myself to think it. To believe in it."

"You just wanted to feel love again."

"It got out of hand though. Way out of hand. You know, my father hated him ."

I laughed. "Why doesn't that surprise me?"

"That's the thing, Leith. It surprised me. I thought that's what he wanted. So no matter what I did, there was this sense of never being good enough. And I hate admitting that. That's not me to admit that or feel that. But when I was with you or near you, I felt okay. I felt right. I felt… myself."

I moved my hand to her hair. I tried to tuck her hair behind her ear but it didn't want to cooperate. Which was fine with me. That meant I got to keep touching her hair and face.

"I need you to know something right now," I said. "You have every right to think how you want to think. And feel how you want to feel. And say what you want to say. But from my heart, angel, the truth is almost simple."

"How so?"

"We found our way back to each other," I said. "And, yeah, maybe the circumstances weren't the best. Maybe you tracking me down at my hideout bar was a terrible idea. And maybe me taking you to the creek was a terrible idea. But that's all we've known, Beth. All the things we've done together…"

"You did the same thing as me, right?" Beth cut in.

"With what? Life?"

"Yes."

I nodded. "Sure. Things just… I don't even know. If you want to hear it, it's kind of easy. We were on the same path. That's what made it work with me and someone else. It was just the same path. Until it wasn't. The second it wasn't the same path I knew things weren't going to be the same."

"So that's what we did then, Leith? We found each other?"

"Like we always do."

"But then we always lose each other."

"Not this time, Beth. There's no reason for it. Look where we are. Nothing can hold us back now."

"Nothing," Beth whispered. "I like that word. I shouldn't but I do."

"Nothing can be everything," I said.

"Says the fancy writer."

I laughed. "Not me."

"You should though. Like you used to do. Or help out your friend with his projects."

"I've been thinking about it."

"Really?"

"Yeah," I said.

"Leith, that would be amazing."

"I'll do it if you do it," I said.

"Do what?"

"You know what, Beth."

"Stop it," she said.

"I mean it. You should sing again. Even just for fun. Just get your voice out there. You're amazing."

"Leith…"

"I'm not letting it go."

"Don't ever let me go again."

Those were the saddest and most romantic six words I ever heard Beth speak to me.

It came with a wave of guilt that I had to fight off as I reminded myself that I was holding Beth in my arms. I had her. And I wasn't going to let her go.

That was the plan now.

Everything else was just part of life.

I could handle anything.

Just as long as I didn't lose Beth again.

I managed to work my way through her apartment the next morning as she slept. There was something cozy about the place. I liked it. I liked that it was small. I liked that it wasn't cluttered or had rooms to fill up because it was wasted space. There was a sense of freedom that came with it too. If something broke, it was someone else's worry to fix it.

As I watched the coffee slowly drip, I ran a hand through my hair.

Beth was changing everything about me again.

Or maybe not changing, but finding the real me again.

Just like I had always done for her.

What we had always done for each other.

The idea of getting rid of my house was pretty damn tempting.

I could finish this year of teaching and find a way to walk away on good terms with the school. Sell the house. Bank the money. Work with Bucky. Do something real for myself. And no matter what happened, I'd wake up next to Beth and fall asleep with her in my arms.

There wasn't anything better than that in life.

I opened the fridge and grabbed the carton of eggs. When I flipped the lid, there was one egg.

I laughed to myself.

Damn, angel…

There was a little bit of milk and orange juice.

Nothing that I could use to make a real breakfast.

Which meant I was going to take her out to breakfast.

A morning after date.

That worked for me.

I waited for the coffee to finish up and poured each of us a cup.

Knowing Beth she wouldn't need to get ready to go either. She would just get up, drink some coffee, and head out the door with me. I loved her for that.

I carried the two mugs of coffee from the kitchen and met Beth as she stood in the hallway.

"Coffee," I said. "You don't have anything to make breakfast so I was thinking-"

"Do you still love her?" Beth asked.

"What? Who?"

"Amy."

"Amy? What are you talking about?"

"Answer me, Leith."

I put the coffee mug down on the counter. "What is this?"

"Just answer me. I can tell you right now that I don't love Joel. I fell out of love with him a long time ago."

"Okay," I said. "No. I don't love Amy. I care about her, sure. I mean, the way things happened… I'm not sure we really got a chance to get it all off our chests. But I don't know if I really care. Why do you care?"

Beth tossed me my cell phone, which I didn't know she had. Last I knew it was tucked away in the pocket of my pants.

I caught the phone but didn't look at it.

"What's this about?"

"You tell me," she said. "You said nothing could break us apart, right? You remember saying that last night? Or was that just talk because you fucked me?"

"Whoa," I said.

"Your phone was buzzing last night, Leith."

"So?"

"This morning it was going crazy again," Beth said. "Trust me, I didn't snoop. Or I didn't mean to snoop. Just the sound of it vibrating, I thought there was some kind of emergency."

"Okay," I said. "What kind of emergency can there be?"

"You should check. That's all I'm going to say."

Beth turned and went into the bathroom.

I chased after her, blocking the door.

"What the hell is this?"

"Just look at your phone, Leith. And then leave."

I looked at my phone.

All I saw was Amy's name before I shut my eyes.

Damn.

"You think something is going on with me and Amy?" I asked. "I don't care what she wants from me. You know that. What I said last night-"

"Just read the fucking messages," Beth snapped. She faced me, tears in her eyes. She reached for me. Her fingers touched my cheek. "Just go, Leith. We both knew this was a terrible idea to begin with. And now… I don't think I can do it."

"Hey," I said. "Don't cry. It doesn't matter."

"Oh, but it does, Leith. Trust me. It really fucking does."

Beth took her hand from my face and shut the door.

The lock clicked and I stared at the door.

I looked down at my phone again and saw a bunch of texts from Amy. And missed calls. And voicemails.

I curled my lip.

If she got drunk again and tried stirring up trouble…

I opened the texts and scanned them.

I shut my eyes, counted to three and opened them again.

Only I didn't look at my phone.

I looked at the bathroom door.

I put my hand to it.

I understood now why Beth was mad.

Leith - we need to talk right now - I'm pregnant.