3.

Z OEY

“We were some of the first women Pop brought here. It was much different than it is now,” Blue said before she took a sip of the drink in her hand. She was one of the women my friend Bella had befriended and then asked for guidance on my idea. “The concept was awesome, and I was happy for the opportunity Pop provided, but it was lacking the charm it has now.”

“Things were rough back then,” Brea, the other woman here for me to interview, agreed. “We were safe, but everything was haphazard. We only had access to one washing machine and dryer, and those were over in the shop. With that many people needing to use the facilities, there was no guarantee you’d ever be able to.”

“Pop insisted that the last thing anyone here wanted was to have their lives scheduled, but he finally agreed to let us work one out so everyone got their fair time while he worked to get the money for each house to at least get their own washing machine. Over time, he bought a dryer for all the houses, and luckily, we had a few guys who knew how to install the vents and such.”

“Each house will have its own washer and dryer from the start,” I assured them. “They’re the stackable units, but . . .”

“As long as they work, I’m sure you won’t have any complaints,” Brea assured me. She looked over Blue’s shoulder at the four men playing catch at the end of the road and said, “Will you have a place for them to gather together?”

“Like a meeting hall?” I asked.

“Yeah. It doesn’t need to be big or fancy, just a place they can get together so they don’t feel secluded in their house,” Blue explained.

Garvey nodded before he said, “Out here, the guys wander around when they want to and just hang out like those guys over there. It’s possible to have too much time to sit and think, and when that happens, it’s best to find someone to talk to.”

“Too much time to think? I thought the most important thing would be for each woman to have her own space.”

“Oh! That’s definitely important, but what Blue means is that it’s good for there to be a place to sit and chat - just to socialize so that they’re not alone.”

“All you need is a room, a bathroom, a coffeepot, and a dinner table. If you have that much, it’s the perfect setup for a card game, gab session, or even an impromptu meeting,” Garvey explained. “Have you considered that? Access to NA and AA is very important to help the majority of the residents here maintain their sobriety.”

“We could use the conference room next to the store for something like that,” Gracy suggested.

“The store?” Blue asked.

“Not a real store . . . Well, I guess it kind of will be, but we’re trying to work out alternate forms of payment so we don’t have to deal with money and taxes.”

“What kind of products?” Blue asked.

Brea looked just as skeptical when she asked, “Alternate forms of payment? Like what?”

“Detergent, cleaning supplies, tampons, pads, bath bombs, lotions, face creams, nail files, polish . . . Some necessities, but some things for self-care too,” Marla explained. “We’ll even have dry and canned goods they can buy until they make their own money to shop at the grocery store.”

“And payment would be something along the lines of ten minutes of community service for every dollar you spend. We haven’t really worked out how to make that fair yet.”

“With the markup you’ll have to put on the items, it would make more sense for the women to just go to the store.”

“The community service time they put in to pay for their items will also go toward their parole, and there won’t be a markup,” I assured her. “We’ll get things in bulk and just break it down and charge what each item costs. If we can’t get it in bulk or it’s something special, we’ll just charge whatever we paid for it.”

“Is that even legal?” Blue asked.

I chuckled as I shrugged my shoulders and answered, “I don’t know.”

“We have two accountants who are looking into that for us,” Marla assured her.

“With staff like that, your overhead is going to drain you,” Blue scoffed.

“Strictly volunteers. They’re some of our club sisters,” Gracy explained. “As a matter of fact, one of them is actually my older sister.”

“Well, free labor will help, especially if they’re professionals,” Blue admitted.

“Do you have someone who can help them find jobs?” Brea asked. “Those are hard to come by when you have a record and no references other than your release papers and your parole officer’s business card.”

“That’s where I come in,” Marla said cheerfully. “I work for a place called New Horizons. It’s an apartment complex for adults and their children who are trying to start over. We supply housing, counseling, job help, and programs to help them get a foothold in their new lives.”

“Then why not just let the women live there instead of building an entire community to segregate them?” Blue asked testily.

“The apartments are much more restrictive than where the women’s houses will be. We have guards, and no one who doesn’t live or work there is allowed past the gate,” Marla explained.

“That sounds a lot like prison,” Brea mused.

“It’s somewhere for men and women who need a safe place while they’re trying to find their way after leaving an abusive relationship. Children are welcome too. It’s sort of the same concept as what Zoey has planned but needs to be kept separate.”

Blue and Brea nodded and I said, “Although, there will be opportunities for the Flowers to work on their community service hours under Marla’s supervision.”

“The Flowers?”

“The women. They’re delicate flowers,” I said with a grin. Brea and Blue scoffed and I added, “Delicate like a bomb.”

Blue pointed at me and said, “ That’s more like it.”

“The flower thing also came into play when we considered how we’re going to help fund this entire endeavor.”

“You lost me again,” Brea chuckled.

“Zoey’s got a green thumb and has always had a big garden. A few years ago, the guys got together and built her a big fancy greenhouse, and then we all chipped in last year and got her a high tunnel so she could grow things year-round.”

“She’s right. I’ve always loved to grow things, and since my injury, working in the garden has been really good for my physical therapy and my mental health too. I think it might help others, and if we figure out how to do it on a big enough scale, it can be profitable.”

“Are you gonna open a roadside stand or what?” Blue asked.

“One of our friends is an event planner. We’ll contract with her to grow x amount of specific flowers for a wedding on such and such day and get paid very well for meeting the deadline with fresh flowers. We’ll take custom orders from florists around the area to grow plants they want, and yes, we’ll have a flower shop, but it’s going to be in a building, not on the side of the road,” I explained.

“Don’t forget about the seedlings and vegetables and stuff,” Gracy encouraged. Before I could say anything, she said, “You know how people flock to the stores in the spring to buy plant starts for their garden? The women will have those too.”

“And through the summer and into fall. There are even some plants we can start to grow in winter, although those are a much smaller quantity,” I explained. “However, we’ll have house plants and holiday plants like lilies, poinsettias, and mums too.”

“Wow. You’ve given this more thought than I gave you credit for,” Blue admitted.

“We’ve got lots of work to do. We’re breaking ground on the first six houses next week, and we’ve already got two more high tunnels up as well as the nursery for the seedlings we’ll be selling,” I explained.

“And the flower shop is a given,” Marla said with a shrug. “Years ago, our friend’s mom bought a strip mall, and there’s a space there that we can use.”

“Willow still owns that?” Garvey asked.

“She does.” I smiled and said, “Willow still works at least three days a week.”

“Is Izzy still at the gym?” Garvey asked.

“She and Mom only go in to teach self-defense classes now,” Gracy answered.

“How do y’all know each other?” Blue asked.

“He’s from Rojo.”

Garvey shook his head and said, “I only lived there for a few years before I got locked up, but I visited a lot when I was a kid.”

“His family is in Rojo,” I explained.

Brea frowned and said, “I thought you didn’t have any family.”

“I haven’t been in contact with them for years.” There was an uncomfortable silence before Garvey said, “I give new meaning to the term ‘black sheep.’”

“Don’t we all?” Brea asked.

“His brother and sister work for the police department, and his dad recently retired from the FBI.”

“Whoa,” Blue said in shock.

“See what I mean?” Garvey asked with a self-deprecating laugh. “Black sheep.”

“Have you ever thought of going back?” Blue asked.

“At least to make amends?” Brea added. “That’s an important step, you know.”

“I’d rather not talk about that right now,” Garvey muttered.

“It’s been a long time, Garvey. We’ve all made mistakes, but families like ours are the kind of people that love you anyway.”

“Marla’s right. They might give you a lump or two, but after that, you’ll be square again,” Gracy assured him.

“Honestly, if I can forgive you, don’t you think everyone else can?” I asked.

“Have you, though?”

“It took me a little time, but I found my way to it,” I told him with a laugh. “Although, the thought of smacking you around a bit is appealing.”

“Shit. You’d have to catch me first, and that’s not likely,” Garvey teased.

“Yeah, but that’s what family’s for, right?” I asked. I looked over at Gracy and Marla and asked, “Can you hold him down so I can whip his ass?”

Gracy scoffed before she said, “As if it would take both of us.”

“If I didn’t know better, I’d think you might be related to Blue with a mouth like that,” Brea said with a bark of laughter.

“I was just wondering if I blacked out for a few years and forgot I birthed three daughters,” Blue muttered. She looked at Garvey and asked, “Is your entire family like this?”

Blue and Brea looked stunned when all four of us answered at the same time, “Yes.”

“We need to put Rojo on our bucket list because it sounds like our kind of place,” Blue said cheerfully.

I wasn’t lying when I said, “You’re welcome to visit any time.”

◆◆◆

GARVEY

I watched from a distance as Gracy, Marla, and Zoey said goodbye to Brea, Sis, and Blue and knew that this might be my last chance to talk to Zoey again.

Her ideas and plans for the sanctuary she was building in Rojo were as brilliant as any professional could have come up with, even though they needed some tweaking here and there. She had been receptive to the suggestions that I gave her and seemed to appreciate that I may know what I was talking about.

When she found out that I had worked to get not just one, but two degrees, beginning in prison and finishing at the local college after I got out, she didn’t seem surprised at all. As a matter of fact, she seemed proud, although I couldn’t understand why.

When I was in prison, there was one person who I couldn’t seem to ignore no matter how hard I tried. No matter what I said or did, the letters kept coming, and through them, I kept up with events in Rojo and the people I’d known all my life.

Through those letters, I’d learned that Zoey graduated at the top of her class in high school, went on to college and got her bachelor's degree, and then enrolled in the Rojo Police Academy where she became a decorated officer once she was out on patrol.

I knew it was vain, but I had always wondered if she went into law enforcement because of all the shit she went through with me - from my drunk driving arrest to my arrests for drug possession and multiple counts of theft. Through it all, it seemed like Zoey wanted to save me. I relied on her too many times to count and was still kicking myself for ever putting her in that position.

I put my family and friends through so much bullshit that I felt like staying away from them was the best course of action, even though there were days when I missed the sound of my mom’s voice or my dad’s laughter when I said something funny. I missed my brother and sister and the bond we shared that none of us could really explain. I’d tested that bond so many damn times over the years that I knew I’d never be able to forgive myself and didn’t even expect them to try.

As a drug counselor, I had encouraged so many men and women to give their family relationships another try, to mend the bonds that held them together and prove to themselves that they were worthy of their families’ love and forgiveness, yet I’d never been able to do that for myself.

It was one of the things I was most ashamed of, besides the actions that put me in this position in the first place.

I’d always been the rebellious type - defying authority and disregarding the expectations my parents had of me. When I had come to know that there were family members and long-term friends who avoided me because of my actions, I dug in my heels and just got worse instead of changing my life’s trajectory. I tried to convince myself that I didn’t need them, that their judgement was hypocritical and wrong, and that I was just fine.

I knew better then and still did. I was wrong, I needed help, and I was an asshole for pushing all of them away. And now, after all these years, I was going to wallow in the bed that I had made because they were better off without me.

But then, Zoey, Marla, and Gracy appeared in my life and reminded me of everything I was missing. Their easy camaraderie with each other, inside jokes, shared memories, and closeness gave me a pain in my chest that I couldn’t identify. I knew that it was part anger at myself, part guilt at how I’d treated them, but mostly shame that I’d let something as precious as family go when I knew that they would have welcomed me back with open arms.

So much time had passed that I was ashamed to go back now. I’d done the unthinkable and turned my back on my family.

I knew they could forgive a lot of things, but that probably wasn’t one of them.

I turned and walked away, knowing deep in my heart that it would hurt worse to say goodbye than it did to just move on.

Like I’d done all those years ago.