17.

Z OEY

I had to wash my hair three times before the water ran clear, but I wasn’t angry about it. I laughed every time I looked down and saw the water flecked with dirt and grime because it reminded me of how much fun we’d had after my initial rage at how Garvey thought it was a good idea to blow up the ants in my field.

Of course, just to be on the safe side, Janis sat in the golf cart to avoid any ants, and what made that funny was the fact that Corey sat there with her since he didn’t want to break any laws by joining us. By the time we had run out of spots to blow up and finished spreading the natural ant killer all over the disturbed field, the two of them were ready to kill each other. Their insults were so creative that it was like watching a comedy show.

With that chore finished, I recruited the men to help us finish the drip lines in that high tunnel and even got them to start on the ones in the other tunnel to give us a leg up on tomorrow’s work.

All in all, it had been a very productive - and fun - day, but now I was ready to relax with my man and . . .

My man. That was something I never thought I’d say, especially in reference to Garvey Forrester. After years of radio silence, I’d let him come back without a hitch. I had already started referring to him in the possessive form and planning my days in accordance with his so that we could spend the evenings curled up together in front of the television or, like we planned to do tonight, out on the motorcycles for a while before we came home together again.

Once I had my hair pulled back into a braid, I tied a bandana around my hair to catch the flyaways and then walked out into the bedroom to get dressed. I found Garvey in there doing the same thing and took some time to admire the muscles of his back before I let my eyes roam over his ass and down to those thighs I had always admired.

The man knew how to keep himself fit, and he never focused on just one area. Some men built up their shoulders and arms until they looked like an upside down triangle standing on skinny chicken legs. Garvey, on the other hand, must work out every area equally because even though his biceps were large - but not overly so, his thighs were in proportion and rippled with every step the man took.

I glanced over at the clock and saw that we weren’t running as late as I thought we’d be, so I dropped my towel and walked up behind him. He didn’t flinch so I knew he felt me come into the room, and as my arms wrapped around his waist, he finished rubbing the lotion on his arms and then rested his hands on top of mine.

“You understand that if you come up on me naked like you are, we're going to be late.”

“We could make it a quickie,” I suggested as I let one hand roam down his flat stomach until it encountered his cock that was already hard and waiting for me. As I wrapped my fingers around him and tugged, I said, “Or we could just stand them up and stay home in bed.”

“There are some people coming tonight . . .”

“Other than us?” I asked facetiously.

Garvey slowly turned in my arms until we were facing each other and then leaned down to nibble on my neck before he asked, “Why are we talking when there are much better things we could be doing?”

He shuffled us toward the bed, and before he could push me to lay down, I turned us again so that he was sitting on the edge of the bed.

“Not that I’m complaining, but I’ve noticed that you are always the one in control nowadays. When do I get to have my way with you? ”

I laughed as I climbed up onto his lap but didn’t answer his question. Instead, I lifted myself until my breasts were even with his mouth as I reached between us to line his cock up with my entrance. As he latched his mouth onto my nipple, I slowly sank down until just the tip was inside me and then moved up and down a fraction at a time to tease him.

He put his hands on my hips and tried to push me down to take more of him, but I resisted with an evil laugh and kept up my torture. I loved this position just like I loved everything about our time together, but I had to admit that it was hell on my hip and my thigh muscle, which were still giving me pain even after months of therapy. However, while I was on top, I could control the movement of my head and stop myself from getting dizzy.

I kept teasing him as he showered kisses all over my breasts, occasionally taking one of my nipples into his mouth to tease me right back. Finally, Garvey had enough and took control when I wasn’t expecting it. He wrapped his arms around me and turned his body so that I was laying on the bed in front of him.

The room started spinning, and I squeezed my eyes shut tight as he thrust deep with a grunt. Even though it felt fantastic, I couldn’t focus on anything but the dizziness that swept over me.

“Zo! What’s wrong?” Garvey asked in alarm.

When I didn’t answer, he put his arms under me and lifted me up before I could protest. The change made the dizziness even worse, and I moaned as I tried to get away from him so I could ride this out. Garvey let me go, and I crawled toward the middle of the bed and let my head fall forward until the crown rested on the mattress. I didn’t even consider how foolish I looked as I completed the exercises Lana had shown me until I was able to slowly lift my head after the third round when the dizziness abated.

“What the fuck just happened, Zo?” Garvey asked from where he was still standing beside the bed.

My breathing was still heavy, but even so, I answered, “After the wreck, I had some problems regaining my balance, but after the second TBI, it got much worse. That’s what makes my eyes flutter around sometimes. I have inner ear issues that get better and worse for no apparent reason, but I’ve learned how to avoid spells like this.”

“After the wreck?” I realized what I’d said and tried to backtrack, but Garvey interrupted my stammering. “I did this to you?”

“Don’t get too full of yourself, big guy,” I tried to joke as I moved closer to the edge of the bed and reached for him. He stepped back, and I frowned before I said, “I got a severe concussion when we crashed. . .”

“When I crashed the car.”

“Yes, whatever. Anyway, I had a concussion. I got over it and went on with my life just fine, but when I was attacked, he slammed my head on the concrete so hard that it gave me what is considered a traumatic brain injury. It’s not ever going to go away. I’ll just have to learn to deal with the side effects.”

“Dizziness and that eye thing are . . .”

“It’s called nystagmus. Sometimes I forget words and have a problem maintaining my concentration. There are also some personality changes, although they’re not as drastic as they were at first.”

“And this started with the crash?”

“It was step one,” I conceded.

“That’s what your dad meant that day in the garage.”

“What are you talking about?”

“He said I’m half the reason you are the way you are today, and I thought he meant that I’d broken your heart and changed you. I didn’t know he was talking about a head injury.”

I laughed before I said, “He can’t be serious! Surely, he doesn’t believe that the accident was the first time I got a concussion! Think about my childhood, Gravy. With all the shit we pulled as kids, do you honestly think that any of us came out of it without lasting effects? With all those broken bones and sprains, how can you believe that our car accident was my first concussion?”

“That’s a valid point,” Garvey admitted.

“I’m surprised that half the people in your family aren’t stumbling around like they’re half-drunk all the time because I know for a fact that every damn one of them has hurt themselves way more than they ever understood.”

“Between their wild childhood antics and then sports and other shit, you may be right.”

“I’m always right, but right now, I’m horny as hell and you’re standing there naked talking about people I don’t even want to think about when I’m in my bedroom, let alone in a situation like this.” I sighed when he didn’t immediately reach for me. “I ruined the mood, huh?”

“No! I’m always down. I’m just not sure what I can do and what I can’t, you know?”

“Doggy style is a safe bet.”

“Oh, hell yes,” Garvey said as he reached for me once again. “Do you know the best part of this entire conversation?”

“What?”

“I need to get you all worked up again before we get to the good stuff. I could do that for hours.”

“I thought you didn’t want to be late?”

“For what?”

I tilted my head and reminded him, “To meet up with everybody. You said that there were some of them you were really excited to see again.”

Garvey pulled me into his arms and said, “I don’t know who you’re talking about because the only person in the world that matters to me right now is you.”

◆◆◆

GARVEY

I tried to hide my nervousness as Zoey and I pulled up in front of the Texas Kings clubhouse, but I knew I wasn’t successful when Zoey got off her trike and squeezed my hand with an encouraging whisper, “It’s gonna be okay, Gravy. Just be yourself.”

The last week had been a roller coaster of emotions - from reconnecting with my parents and siblings to seeing friends I hadn’t spoken to in years. I knew there would be ups and downs for some time yet, maybe even forever, but I was quickly realizing that it was worth it and kicking myself for staying away so long.

After quite a bit of self-reflection, something I had had plenty of time for over the last few days while doing manual labor for Zoey, I understood that my self-imposed exile wasn’t just to punish myself for what I’d done wrong but to punish the people around me for letting me go that far.

I knew that wasn’t right - I made my own decisions back then just like I made them now, but I still felt like staying away from everyone I held dear might help me stay clean and sober because they let me get so bad. Looking back now, I saw the million and one times that some of the same people now welcoming me back into the fold had taken me aside to talk to me about the path I had been on.

My relationship with my parents was the most confusing. For years, I had blamed my father for being blind to my addiction. As a law officer, shouldn’t he have recognized the path of self- destruction I was on? Looking back, I now saw how many times he’d tried to redirect me, something that just seemed like him being an asshole then. All the times he tossed my room like he was the DEA so that he could find and destroy my stash, the times he’d taken the keys to my vehicle to keep me from going out and scoring drugs, and the way he cut off all access to money and forbid everyone in the family from giving me a dime was him trying to keep me away from that life.

Obviously, it didn’t work, but I could see now just how hard he had tried to intervene without getting the law involved.

I had discussed that with my parents the day I reconnected with them, and my dad admitted that he was somewhat blind to how in-depth my drug use was because he didn’t want to believe it could be happening in his own family. My mom said that she had the same reaction, making excuses for me repeatedly in the hopes that she wouldn’t have to acknowledge how far I’d fallen.

Luckily, after a long talk and a lot of reflection, we’d been able to mend the rift between us and vowed to start fresh.

I had almost the same discussion with Corey and Marley this morning while Zoey was at her PT appointment. Knowing that I’d be alone in Zoey’s house, I had started a group text with my brother and sister and invited them over to have coffee so we could talk. There was a lot of yelling, even more tears, and then a calmness that I almost didn’t recognize because I hadn’t felt in so long. We made a pact to see each other often, at least once a week, and to keep in touch via text and calls on the other days so that we could work on rebuilding our trio.

Now, walking toward the clubhouse, I felt like there was a wall of people I needed to work through, and I wasn’t sure I had the strength.

However, Zoey’s presence beside me and her hand in mine reminded me that I wasn’t alone. I was surrounded by family once I got inside that clubhouse which meant they wouldn’t pull any punches when they told me I was a dumbass, but they also wouldn’t hesitate to let me know how glad they were to have me back.

The entire situation was humbling, and I knew in my heart that I wouldn’t have been ready to face it right after my release from prison. I had grown a lot during my incarceration but even more since I rejoined the free world.

And now, I had even more to do, but it would be a little easier with Zoey at my side and my family and friends at my back.

“Are you okay?” Zoey asked, interrupting my musings. Before I could answer, she said, “We don’t have to go in there if you don’t want to. Maybe it’s too much to see everyone all at once. We can just . . .”

“It’s going to be a lot to deal with, but I’m ready.”

“Just remember that I’ll be right beside you, and I won’t let anyone give you too much shit.”

“You don’t have to protect me, Zoey. I know you’re conflicted about your feelings, and I want you to understand that you can talk to me whenever you’re ready.”

“I have talked to you, Garvey.”

“There’s nothing deep down that you’ve been trying to get past?”

“You were my Gravy. My friend, my lover, the boy who made me laugh. Then you were that guy who only thought about himself and didn’t seem to give a shit about who he was hurting with his actions and behavior. Then you were just gone. Now I can see that guy I fell in love with again, and even though I’m not going to look a gift horse in the mouth, I’m also not going to be blind to anything if you start back down that path.”

“Good.”

“I might not know how to help you, but I’m stronger than I was back then. I’ll drag you kicking and screaming back to the world you’re supposed to be part of even if I have to beat you half to death to get you there.”

“That’s good to know.”

“And I’ll have a lot of help doing it.”

“That’s the truth,” I said with a grin before I tugged her closer so I could give her a kiss. “God knows that everyone who knew me back then has a lot of pent-up feelings that they’re working through, but if I started behaving the way I used to, there’d be an entire mob of people trying to yank me back to reality.”

“I never stopped loving you, Garvey, even when I didn’t recognize you.”

“Thank you, Zo. And I always loved you, even when I was too fucked up to see what I was losing.”

“You never really lost me. We just took a really long break.”

“Is there a reason that the two of you can’t just walk into a place without having some sort of philosophical discussion and a makeout session?” I heard Zane ask from somewhere behind me. “I swear to God, I’m going to tie both of you up and give you a lesson in how to open a fucking door and walk into a building without having to pause so you can try to solve the world’s problems.”

“Right now, you are the biggest problem I see,” Zoey replied before she flipped her brother off. She let go of my hand and walked toward him, and he glared at her until she tiptoed up and gave him a kiss on the cheek. When she smiled at him, he smiled back before she gave him a quick jab to the ribs and he let out a loud grunt. She was still smiling when she asked, “I guess those penis enlargement pills must be working because you’re twice the dick you were yesterday.”

“Eat shit.”

“Are you going to be nice, Zane?”

“I’ll start being nice when you stop being crazy.”

“If both of those things happened at the same time, the people around us wouldn’t know what to do.”

“I know exactly what they’d do,” Hawk, one of my cousins, said as he walked toward us holding his girlfriend’s hand. “We’d start stockpiling dry goods and preparing for the apocalypse.”

“Hi!” a little boy said as he pushed himself between Hawk and Brighten. “You must be Garvey.”

“Griffin, right?” I asked.

“Hawk showed me the video, and it was awesome! ”

I glanced over at Zoey and saw she was smiling at the little boy who just happened to be her cousin too. Finally, she asked, “Did you tell him how to blow up my field?”

“I don’t know what you’re talkin’ about,” Griffin said before he snapped his mouth shut and looked at the ground.

“What did you do, Griffin?” Brighten, Zoey’s cousin, asked her son. She looked at Hawk and narrowed her eyes before she asked, “Did you help him?”

“I didn’t do nothin’,” Hawk replied with an innocent expression. When Brighten just sighed and shook her head, Hawk looked at his son with wide eyes and whispered, “You’ve gotta work on your game face, son.”

“Let’s go inside before I lose it and just start screaming,” Brighten said in a resigned voice. She reached out and touched Zoey’s shoulder before she said, “Just remember, if you birth a Forrester spawn, your life will be just as crazy as mine.”

“I look forward to it,” Zoey said cheerfully before she gave Brighten a side hug. “Let’s go in and get some advice from the older generation on how to deal with the men in our lives.”

“They’ve got no sympathy because they’ve become desensitized after so many years,” Brighten said before she let go of Hawk’s hand and gave me a hug. “It’s good to see you, Garvey.”

“It’s good to see you, too, Brighten. Did you miss me?”

“How could you even ask me that?”

“Well, did you?”

“After the day I’ve had, I’ve got one nerve left, and here you are dry humping it. Let’s go inside.”

Brighten hooked arms with Zoey, and they walked into the clubhouse with Griffin right behind them, leaving me, Hawk, and Zane laughing outside the door.

After we calmed down, Hawk asked, “Are you ready for this?”

“I hope so. I’m here, right?”

“We’ve got your back,” Zane said seriously. “It’s all good.”

Just hearing him say that meant he was right. Life was good and it just seemed to be getting better every day.