Chapter 6

six

T he week went by in a blissful blur.

Ozzie was certain he’d never laughed as much in his entire life as he had in the brief time he’d spent with Tuesday. While Tuesday certainly made it a tad more difficult to get through work undisturbed, he made the days fun and full of light. Ozzie was in such a good mood that his cheeks actually hurt from smiling so much.

They kept the Lord of the Rings marathon going, and Tuesday was instantly obsessed, asking as soon as it was over to watch it again. There was also plenty of Cutthroat Kitchen so Tuesday could see what new tortures Satan had come up with, and he and Ozzie actually got ideas for new recipes to try.

Tuesday loved to cook, citing his past career as a chef, and he whipped up meals for them almost every night, and sometimes for lunch and breakfast too. He was happy to help out with housework too, in particular having an off fascination with the dryer.

Ozzie honestly wouldn’t be surprised if he found Tuesday in blob form going for a spin.

Every day was full of laughter, joy, and Ozzie felt as though he’d lived a lifetime since Tuesday crashed into his life. He’d never been this happy, hadn’t known it was possible, and he woke up with a smile because he knew that whatever happened, Tuesday was going to be right there beside him.

By the time the night of the company party arrived, Ozzie wasn’t even dreading it anymore.

Okay, well…

Maybe not dreading it quite as much.

After all, this was pretty much his first official date with Tuesday, and that was something to be excited about. He was dying to see Tuesday’s face when he laid eyes on the limo that Ozzie had hired to drive them around for the night. It was an extravagance he would never have allowed himself, but for Tuesday…

He wanted this night to be magical.

It was almost time to head out, and Ozzie anxiously adjusted the blinking tie Derrick had loaned him. He raked his fingers through his shaggy hair to smooth it into place for what was probably the hundredth time. He really should have invested in some kind of gel, but he had stopped giving any fucks about his appearance since he so rarely left the house.

Shit.

It was fine.

It was fine.

Satisfied that this was as good as it was going to get, Ozzie grabbed his coat and poked his head down the hallway. “Tuesday?” he shouted. “Are you about ready?”

“Almost!” Tuesday called back. “You can’t rush perfection!”

Ozzie chuckled. “Okay!”

After a few moments, Tuesday came sashaying out of the bedroom. He was wearing shimmering gold leggings, black boots, and his reindeer shirt with a sequined gold vest. His hair wasn’t even pink now but gold with red and green highlights.

Ozzie stared in shock. “Wow.”

“Uh.” Tuesday grinned shyly and struck a pose. “Ta-dah!”

“Holy jingle bells.” Ozzie absolutely loved Tuesday’s transformation into a walking Christmas card. “You look incredible.”

Tuesday beamed, but he suddenly seemed nervous. “Really? It’s okay? I… I can change if you want.”

“What? No! You look absolutely perfect. The most Christmassy thing I’ve ever seen.” Ozzie moved close enough to lean in and smooch Tuesday’s cheek. “I’m gonna have the hottest date there.”

“Really? You like it?" Tuesday still sounded unusually unsure of himself. “It’s okay?”

“I do,” Ozzie promised. “So, ready? Need your coat?”

“Oh! Right!” Tuesday smiled. “The fuzzy one, please.”

Ozzie smiled and nodded, crossing the room to fetch the new coat off the rack by the door. He held it out for him to easily slip into. “Ahem, your coat, sir.”

“Thank you, baby.” Tuesday grinned and did a happy wiggle. He looked down at himself.

“What?” Ozzie frowned. “I really do think you look great?—”

“Thank you! Sorry.” Tuesday grinned sheepishly. “Just making sure I only have two arms. All right. Ready now!”

“Good thinking.” Ozzie chuckled, grabbing his own coat and tugging it on. “You’d be perfect for a Halloween party though.”

“Wait, who’s Halloween?” Tuesday blinked. “Do I know her? I’ve heard that name before.”

“It’s a holiday, and pretty much the best one. All spooky stuff, costumes, and candy.” Ozzie grinned and double checked he had his wallet, phone, and keys in his pockets. “It’s also a special day for me as a witch because we celebrate the same day as Samhain.”

“You had me at candy.”

Ozzie laughed, opening the door to reveal a sleek black limousine pulled up out front. “Your chariot awaits!”

Tuesday stared dumbly at the limo, clinging to Ozzie’s hand. “What…? You got this for us?”

“I did.” He squeezed Tuesday’s hand and led him out onto the porch. “If we’re gonna be fancy, we might as well do it up.” He smiled shyly. “Plus, I was sort of thinking this is like our first date. So, I wanted it to be special.”

“Baby, this is awesome.” Tuesday kissed him firmly, squealed, and then raced out to the limo, dragging Ozzie behind him. “Let’s fucking go!”

Ozzie laughed, his heart surprisingly light.

Tonight was going to be fun.

The driver came around to greet them, saying, “Hi! I’m Todd.” He opened the door for them. “Hope you gentlemen enjoy your party tonight!”

“Thank you!” Tuesday gushed. “It’s gonna be a fucking blast.”

Ozzie offered a friendly smile. “Hi, Todd. I, uh, I just text you whenever we’re ready to go, right?”

“Yes, sir,” Todd said. “I’m on your time, so you just let me know. The Madison Hotel, right?”

“Yeah, that’s where we’re headed.”

“All right, sir! I’ll get you there and get you out when you’re ready, sir.”

“Okay, great. Thank you.” Ozzie wanted to make sure they could make a quick getaway in case the party was horrible. “After you!” He gestured for Tuesday to get in first. “There’s champagne. I don’t know if you like that.”

“The bubbly alcohol stuff? Love it!” Tuesday dove right into the back of the limo, cackling. “Let’s see if we can drink the whole bottle before we get to the party!”

“Challenge accepted.” Ozzie slid in, waving as Todd closed the door. “Let’s hit it!”

Todd got in up front behind the wheel. He waved through the partition and then pulled away from the house, heading out onto the street toward downtown.

Ozzie grabbed a bottle of champagne from the ice bucket. “This is just like the second Home Alone when Kevin is in New York. We just need the Grinch on TV.”

“I don’t understand any of the words you just said, but you look really cute saying them,” Tuesday teased.

Ozzie blushed. “We’ll add that to your cinematic education curriculum.” He handed Tuesday an empty flute and wiggled the champagne bottle. “You wanna open this thing, or should I?”

“I am an expert at dispensing alcohol.” Tuesday giggled as he grabbed the bottle, his hand morphing into a slimy tentacle to effortlessly uncork it. “Ta-dah!”

“That’s really fucking slick!” Ozzie grinned, bringing his glass over to catch the bubbling liquid. “You could be a really great bartender.”

“I dunno. I tend to make drinks too strong.” Tuesday shrugged, filling their glasses. “Alcohol doesn’t affect me like it does humans. As in, it doesn’t do anything to me.”

“Really?” Ozzie studied Tuesday curiously. “You don’t get drunk? Wait, does the weed do anything?”

“Yeah, weed totally does. So do some pills, uh, and certain fermented carbohydrates? That’s about it.”

“Huh.” Ozzie brought his glass to his lips and took a sip, grimacing at the taste.

Why did people think this was good?

Tuesday chuckled, tipping the champagne back and also making a face. “Huh. So, that’s champagne. I remember the taste not sucking.”

Ozzie barked out a laugh. “I bet there will be way tastier drinks at the party.”

“Fuck, we can only hope!”

By the time they reached the Madison Hotel where the party was being held, Ozzie’s nerves had returned. The champagne hadn’t done much to quell them knowing that there would be so many people inside and they’d all want to talk and ask questions and socialize.

Yup.

Anxiety was definitely back.

He downed the last of his champagne and took a steadying breath. “Let’s do this.”

“I’ll be right beside you,” Tuesday said, giving him a sweet kiss. “We got this.”

Ozzie melted into the kiss, flooded with warmth like a fluffy blanket was wrapped around him. He was still nervous, but he felt better knowing he didn’t have to do this alone.

Todd had parked and walked around to open the door for them. “Here we are, gentlemen! Have a great evening!”

“Thanks, Todd!” Tuesday hopped out, grabbing Ozzie’s hand to pull him along. “Come on, baby! Let’s go find some booze!”

“Let’s find some tasty booze,” Ozzie corrected, laughing as Tuesday dragged him to the front doors of the hotel.

The Madison was a large and luxurious hotel with a huge lobby and big chandeliers. There was a sign directing guests of the company party down a hallway to the hotel’s ballroom, a massive space that had been transformed into a Christmas wonderland. There were at least three fully decked-out Christmas trees, layers of fake snow all over the floor, hundreds of colorful lights, and a metric ton of holographic tinsel and glitter scattered on all horizontal surfaces.

It was a lot .

“Holy shit.” Ozzie stared. “I knew my boss liked Christmas, but this is nuts.”

“Wow.” Tuesday whistled. “He has good taste.”

“Taste. Yeah, that’s a word for it.” Ozzie snorted and shook off the brief hypnosis caused by so many blinking lights. “It’s like the holiday aisle of every store ever exploded in here.”

“Right? It’s awesome.”

“Kinda weirds me out. There is a specific level of too much holiday cheer, and this is leagues beyond that.” Ozzie shook his head, and grinned when he spotted a large buffet with a bar set up right next to it. “Bingo! Target acquired.”

“Sweet! Let’s go!” Tuesday hooked his arm with Ozzie’s as they headed over to get in line. He glanced at the food on the buffet table, staring at a large assortment of desserts. “Whoa! What’s that stuff? The little loaves?”

“Huh?” Ozzie turned to see what Tuesday was looking at, and he gagged when he realized it was a large assortment of miniature fruitcakes. “That, my dear, is fruitcake. It’s terrible. I really don’t know why people still make it. My grandma does every year and we just… They’re gross.”

“Gross? Aw, it looks so good.” Tuesday inched toward the table. “Are you sure it’s gross? Like super sure?”

“Make your own mistakes, baby.” Ozzie grinned playfully and waved a hand towards the table. “Don’t just take my word for it. Go get a slice and find out for yourself.”

“Oh, I am going to get several slices!” Tuesday eagerly darted over and filled an entire plate of various flavors. He got a few odd looks, but he was smiling as he came back over to wait in line with Ozzie. “

“That’s… Wow.” Ozzie laughed quietly. “That is a shitload of fruitcake.”

“I don’t even know where to start. Maybe the green one.”

Ozzie grimaced. “Why is it green ?”

“Because it’s delicious probably.”

“That’s all you, babe.” Ozzie laughed again. “I can taste the gooey weirdness from here.”

“Hey, I resemble that remark,” Tuesday teased before popping a blob of the green fruit cake into his mouth. “Ooo! Pistachio. I think. Yes. Maybe.”

“I’m sorry. Pistachios do not belong in fucking cake.” Ozzie grunted in disgust as they shuffled a few steps closer to the bar.

“Oh, but they do.” Tuesday moaned loudly, shoving another piece of fruitcake in his mouth. “Oh my God , this stuff is delicious. I can’t believe you thought it was gross.”

“I’m very glad that you’re enjoying yourself.” Ozzie read the menu board above the bar. “Okay, so, we have red wine, white wine, beer, or a couple different Christmassy cocktails. Cinnamon apple twist sounds good to me. What do you want?”

“Ooo, the cinnamon one.” Tuesday paused to take another bite. “I think it’ll go well with whatever this red one is.”

“I doubt it. That thing is probably tomato flavor or some shit.” Ozzie shuddered and shook his head as if he could shake away the memories of fruitcakes past.

“Mmm.” Tuesday chewed thoughtfully. “Cherry? Maybe?”

It was their turn at the bar now, and Ozzie smiled politely at the bartender as they stepped up. Tuesday had a mouthful of fruitcake, and Ozzie decided he could order their drinks. He could totally handle that. “H-Hello.”

The bartender was a blonde woman dressed as an elf, and the bells on her hat jingled as she spoke. “Hi! What can I get you?”

“Two cinnamon apple…” Ozzie stared back at the menu because he’d already managed to forget the stupid name of the drink. “Twists? Yes. Those things. Thank you.”

“Coming right up!” The bartender’s hat jingled away as she got to work.

“Thank you, baby,” Tuesday crooned, smooching Ozzie’s cheek. “This is greeeat.”

“Thank you! You being here is…” Ozzie inhaled sharply, unable to find the words he wanted to describe how he felt. “Amazing. I couldn’t have left the house without you.”

“Happy to be your adoptive extrovert any ol’ time,” Tuesday declared. He looked around the crowd. “Wow, so you really work with all these people?”

“Yeah! I never see them except for here. Or the occasional video meeting. Most of us are remote now, so some of these guys drove from the other end of the state to be here.”

“Ooo, which one is your boss?” Tuesday gobbled up more fruitcake. “Is it that guy? With the big beard? He looks like a boss. Or Santa. Wait, is he Santa?”

“Uh, my boss is actually the one over there dressed like Buddy the Elf.” Ozzie pointed to a green clad, curly haired elf who was arranging a big pile of presents under one of the Christmas trees.

“Nice!” Tuesday tilted his head curiously. “So, his name is Buddy?”

“Actually, his name is Gerald, but he pretty much is Buddy the Elf. He dresses like that every year. Honestly, I kinda think he dresses like that every day of his life.” Ozzie laughed under his breath.

“Huh. I guess it looks kinda comfy. I do like the green.”

The bartender offered out two glasses filled with a bright red liquid and a cinnamon stick. “Here you go, sir!”

“Thank you!” Ozzie smiled and accepted the drinks, nudging Tuesday. “Let’s go find somewhere to sit with your fruitcake pile.”

“Don’t hate on my fruitcake!” Tuesday giggled loudly, and there was a definite sway to his walk as he followed Ozzie to an unoccupied table. “Mmm, damn, this cake is sooo good.”

“You okay there?” Ozzie pulled out a chair for Tuesday. “Are you sure you don’t get drunk on champagne?”

“No! It can’t be the alcohol.” Tuesday fussed as he sat down. “It’s gotta be something else!” He stared the fruitcake. “What’s all in this…?”

“Uh, let’s see.” Ozzie sat beside Tuesday and set their drinks on the table. “Decrepit fruit, death, Christmas wishes that never came true, and apparently sometimes pistachios?”

Tuesday took another big bite, chewing thoughtfully. “No, it’s gotta be…” He picked a chunk off and studied it carefully. “Oh fuck. Raisins .”

“Raisins?” Ozzie slurped at his drink. “There’s fucking raisins?”

“Yes! Which have tartaric acid in them!”

“Everything you say just makes them sound more and more gross.”

Tuesday giggled and lightly slapped Ozzie’s arm. “Mmm, my species can’t metabowl… metaboleeee. Hmm. That word. We can’t that word into stuff for other stuff and yeah! It intoxicates us!”

“Man, this is hilarious. You’re buzzed as hell.”

“Oh, oh, oh!” Tuesday cackled. “It’s actually lethal to some aliens in high enough doses!” He laughed harder. “One bite can kill them!”

“Okay, that’s dark. But hey, it’s kinda like how Spock gets drunk on chocolate.”

“Spock! Ooo! I know that one!” Tuesday giggled a bit, humming noisily. “Mmm. Metab. Mmmetaboleee. Metable. Metaboleeee?—”

“Okay, Metaboleee, maybe we should slow down on the cake.” Ozzie pulled Tuesday’s plate away.

“What?” Tuesday whined. “Nooo!”

Ozzie grabbed Tuesday’s glass. “I am drinking both of these so I can catch up with you.”

“Do some stuff and prosper,” Tuesday intoned, making his voice deeper as he raised his hand to make the classic Vulcan sign.

Wait.

He had one hand holding a piece of fruitcake, one reaching for the plate, and still one more making the—oh God, Tuesday had too many hands.

A nervous laugh bubbled up from Ozzie’s chest, and he quickly reached out to guide the extra hand down and lace their fingers together. “Sure, sure. Very prosperous. So, uh, quick question. You don’t by chance get gooey if you’re drunk, do you?”

“What? No!” Tuesday giggled. “I mean, huh, I guess it’s a little harder to concentrate. Being gooey feels so nice, and it’s so relaxing.” He sighed, and another arm reached out to squeeze Ozzie’s leg under the table.

Ozzie’s cock twitched at the touch, already quite conditioned to Tuesday’s touch. He cleared his throat, saying, “We can get outta here right after my boss does his speech thing, and then you can be gooey.”

“Yay, gooey!” Tuesday leaned his head over on Ozzie’s shoulder and sighed happily. “I like being gooey.” He seemed to notice he had too many arms and put the extra one away as he snuggled against Ozzie’s side.

Ozzie closed his eyes and smiled, enjoying the closeness as he listened to the very, very annoying Christmas music.

Maybe it wasn’t so terrible with Tuesday here.

“When’s the speech?” Tuesday asked loudly.

“Probably not for a while.” Ozzie shrugged. “Gerald usually waits for everyone to show up and at least get through one round of food before he starts blabbing. I’m pretty sure it’s the same speech every year. I think he just changes a few names so people think it’s fresh.”

Tuesday frowned. “Do you really know everyone here?”

“Most of them.” Ozzie gave the crowd a cursory glance and immediately regretted it because someone caught his eye and waved at him. He acted like he didn’t see it, switching his focus back to Tuesday.

Tuesday arched his brow. “And how many of them do you want to talk to?”

“Exactly zero.”

“Are those presents real?”

“Under the tree? No idea.”

“Is Santa real?”

“No, baby.”

“Oh.” Tuesday pouted. “Well, that sucks. Guess that means I’ll just have to sit in your lap.”

Ozzie blushed. “Later. Let’s do that later.”

“ Fiiine .”

Ozzie snickered and gave Tuesday’s hand a firm squeeze. “No more fruitcake for you, mister.”

“Yeah, yeah. No more for me. I ate it all anyway.”

“You…?” Ozzie scoffed.

The plate was indeed empty now.

Tuesday giggled. “Sneaky sneaky.”

“The sneakiest .”

The ballroom was quickly filling up, and both the bar and buffet were packed. Some people were up on the dance floor, dancing around to the hectic Christmas music.

Tuesday watched them, staring longingly. “Would you wanna…?”

“What?”

Ozzie wasn’t a complete fool, swallowing thickly and downing the rest of his drink. And then Tuesday’s drink. He was going to need it judging by where this next question might take him. “You like dancing, baby?”

“Yeah, but…” Tuesday’s bubbly smile dipped. “I understand if you don’t want to.”

“I really suck. Like, I am the worst. Three left feet.” Ozzie licked his lips. “But if you don’t mind that…”

Tuesday’s jaw dropped. “You really want to dance with me? Like, right now? With people watching us and everything?”

“Uh.” Ozzie could feel his cheeks heating up and butterflies reawakening in his stomach. “Do you have a pretty high threshold for public embarrassment? If so, then let’s go.”

“Uh, duh. Have we met? Of course I do!” Tuesday bolted to his feet, putting away his extra limbs but keeping a hold of Ozzie’s hand. “Come on!”

Ozzie stumbled after him, the fancy drinks actually proving to be more boozy than he’d thought and causing the room to spin a bit. Despite the sheer terror of having a bunch of his coworkers about to witness him making a fool of himself, he couldn’t stop smiling.

“Maybe let’s pick a space where nobody else is,” he said. “A spot with some room. I don’t wanna kill anyone or take out a giant tree. Which would also kill people.”

Tuesday giggled as the song switched to something slow, and he curled his arms around Ozzie’s neck. He urged him over to the edge of the dance floor, cooing, “Come here, baby. I got you. Don’t worry. Nobody’s dying. Promise.”

“I’m gonna trust you.” Ozzie chuckled, awkwardly placing his hands on Tuesday’s back.

Tuesday led them through a simple two step, and he pressed close until there wasn’t any space left between them. It was sweet, slow, and Tuesday sighed, gazing down at Ozzie adoringly. “See? Nothing to it, baby.”

“You’re a good teacher.” Ozzie slid his hands down to hug Tuesday’s waist. “Do you dance a lot?”

“I used to,” Tuesday said wistfully. “My ex… He wasn’t big into me dancing. Said I drew too much attention and he didn’t like people looking at me. Or talking to me. Or, you know, acknowledging I existed in any way, shape, or form.”

“What the hell?” Ozzie growled and hugged Tuesday tighter, startled by the rage he felt for a man he’d never met. “He sounds like a real fucking douche bagel.”

“He is.” Tuesday huffed. “Gregathorxian is the king of douche bagels. He didn’t like how I dressed, what I cooked, what I liked to do…” He smiled sadly. “Heh, I don’t even know why he wanted me so badly when I really stop and think about it. He didn’t like anything that made me… me .”

“Well, fuck Old Greg .” Ozzie leaned up on his tippy toes to kiss Tuesday’s cheek. “You can wear whatever you want, dance when you want, whatever you want. I love it all.”

“You…” Tuesday blinked, staring at Ozzie in awe. “You really mean that, don’t you?”

“I really do,” Ozzie assured him. “Old Greg is an idiot. You’re perfect just like this.”

Tuesday’s cheeks turned a lovely shade of dark pink, and he smiled brightly. “You’re pretty perfect too, you know.”

Heart pounding, Ozzie reached for Tuesday to draw him into a sweet kiss. He didn’t care who saw them or what people might say, if they were going to cause a scene. He wanted to kiss Tuesday, so that’s what he did.

As they parted, both a bit breathless, Ozzie realized he could definitely live without hearing another one of Gerald’s big company Christmas speeches.

He cleared his throat. “So, uh.”

“Hmm?” Tuesday smiled warmly. “What is it, baby?”

“What do you say we take this dance back to my place?”

“Fuck, I thought you’d never ask.”