Chapter Forty-One

Evie

The next day, Evie woke with the strangest feeling that she was being watched. The hairs on the back of her neck registered that it was more than one set of eyes staring at her.

“Did I sleep through my alarm?” she asked, her voice scratchy—the product of a night spent sobbing. Not only had Tasha taken the crowd with her, not a single customer had walked through Grinder’s doors for the rest of the day.

Okay, that was an exaggeration. A few people had walked in wanting to know if it was true and when Evie confirmed that it was, they left sans coffee. Then there were her parents, who were avoiding her—or was she avoiding them? Didn’t matter, the end result was the same: they hadn’t had the conversation that was like a giant weather balloon filling the house, ready to pop at the first sharp word.

“Nope,” Lenard said. “Figured you were already awake.”

She hadn’t gotten a wink of sleep last night, but it upped the guilt factor that her parents hadn’t, either. She knew the talk needed to be had, but she couldn’t face it until after the sun came up.

“Can we talk about this after I have some coffee?” she asked.

The light flicked on—answer enough.

Evie groaned and put the pillow over her face. It was immediately snatched away. Then she smelled the warm aroma of caffeine wafting beneath her nose.

“Coffee for one,” Moira said.

Evie opened her eyes to find her parents sitting on the edge of her bed like they used to when she was a teen and got caught sneaking out. She’d considered just that scenario last night. Packing her backpack and climbing through the window, hitchhiking to California and starting a new life under an assumed name. But her dad would be able to smell the guilt from a thousand miles away.

With a groan, she sat up. Her head throbbed, her lids were scratchy when she blinked, and that cold, empty feeling that had settled in her bones now felt like frostbite.

“I’m so sorry,” she began. “So, so sorry about what happened yesterday. I never meant for things to go this far, and now I’ve put the shop in even more trouble. And that I put our chances of Denver’s Best in jeopardy.”

Lenard and Moira exchanged looks, then Moira took her hand. “Honey, we don’t care about some stupid contest.”

“I do,” Evie said and, again, there were exchanged looks. “I promised you guys that I would make Grinder a success again and I blew it.”

Moira held one hand and Lenard the other, but it was Moira who spoke first. “The day you were born we made a promise as parents to take care of you, but lately we’ve been letting you take care of us.”

“I don’t mind. It’s my turn,” Evie said and meant it from the depths of her soul. “You guys took care of me when I got pregnant, then Camila when she was born. You’re still her biggest champions.”

“That’s because we’re her grandparents, not because you two are some kind of obligation. Love could never be an obligation.”

At the word love, Evie’s chest went on hiatus and refused to take in oxygen. It was as if the mile-high kite had reached new elevations and the air was too thin to breathe. She knew she’d made the responsible choice, but it didn’t mean that she didn’t feel the loss with every breath.

“Love isn’t always easy, but it should be treasured and protected, no matter the circumstances.” Lenard leaned down and kissed her on the forehead. “And we should protect the ones we love, and we didn’t protect you. We took advantage of your generous spirit. You have always been so happy to do for others that you rarely let people do for you.”

“But you needed me,” she assured them.

“Now, you need us.”

“I’m okay,” she whispered.

“If you were, you wouldn’t have spent the past few days locked in your room crying,” Moira said.

“And you wouldn’t have felt the need to lie to us,” Lenard said.

“I shouldn’t have lied but—”

“We weren’t listening,” Moira said. “In our quest to make you happy, you got your heart broken.”

“It just wasn’t my time.”

“Oh baby,” Moira whispered. “Time isn’t ever ours unless we take it. You deserve to be happy, and I think Jonah made you happy.”

He had. He really had. Until he hadn’t. In her head she knew Jonah hadn’t set out to sabotage her plans, but her heart was having a hard time getting past being forced to walk away from her dream once again.

But had she been forced? And if the roles were reversed, and it was Camila in trouble, wouldn’t he have done the same thing? Undoubtedly yes. Just look at how he’d dropped everything to drive her and her teammates to camp, or how he’d made her dinner for no reason other than to be nice. He listened to her, really heard what she was saying, and then went out of his way to do nice things for her.

Like the corsage and surprise party. And instead of showing her appreciation, at the first hint of complication she had bailed. Just like everyone else in his life.

Wait.

Oh God!

“You want to talk about it?” Lenard asked.

“I told him I loved him and then blamed him when life attacked. Just like Mateo bailed when he realized being a young parent wasn’t all about going to Disneyland and bragging rights.”

“Sometimes, it seems easier to protect ourselves from the possible fallout of love, when in reality, finding love is what makes it bearable when the bottom falls out,” Lenard said.

“Take your dad and I. We were both in so much pain from the divorce that we wouldn’t have been able to bounce back. The only reason we did is because we had each other to lean on, had the love and friendship to protect us.”

“Your mom could’ve walked away the minute I told her I was gay, but instead she put the hurt aside and embraced me.”

“I think you’re forgetting when I burned your Gucci collection.”

Lenard winced. “I still think about those vintage ties.” He sighed. “The point is, we promised each other that we would always be in each other’s lives. No matter how hard life became.”

“When you find your soulmate, platonic or otherwise, hold on to it with everything you have because you’ve only got one,” Moira said.

“How could he be the one?” Evie asked, but her heart was suddenly clear on where it stood. “We have nothing in common except for that we have nothing in common. I told myself if I ever got serious with a man again he’d be emotionally mature and available, with a life that meshes with mine, and would have his shit together.”

“Sweetie.” Lenard laughed. “You work with your gay father, cougar of a mother, boy-crazy teen, and sleep in a room that has boy band stickers on the walls. But you also live surrounded by love and people who would do anything to protect your happiness.”

“Even if it means sticking their noses in my dating life?” Evie asked.

“Apparently someone needs to,” Moira said. “Left to your own devices you dragged your friend’s widower into a fake relationship, lied to your family and friends, pulled one over on America, kept him a secret, then dumped him when your priorities didn’t align.”

“When you say it like that, I sound like an asshole.”

“Everyone is the asshole at one time or another,” Lenard said with a waggle of his brow.

Evie smoothed her hands over the comforter. “I just don’t want to get further down the road and realize that it could never work.”

“Don’t let this checklist you’ve created in your head be a shield between you and love. Because while love takes some sacrifice, the lifetime of joy is worth it. But you’ve built up these walls that are so thick and high no one could possibly climb them. And that includes you, dear.”

She wanted to argue that Jonah had. He hadn’t just scaled them, he’d taken them down brick by brick. Only she didn’t have the courage to step across that line. Suddenly, her foundation turned to quicksand.

“What do I do?” she asked as an idea slowly took shape, blurring her vision. “I don’t know what to do.”

“Do you love him?” Moira asked.

“So much I can’t breathe.”

“Then let the world know it,” Lenard said.

For the first time in days, elation bubbled up in her chest. “I love him,” she repeated. “And know just how to tell him. I know how to fix everything. But I’m going to need help. Lots of people’s help. Oh, and I think it’s time for that blue dress.”