Chapter Forty

Evie

Evie was back in her work uniform but for some reason it felt heavier today—suffocating. Similar to what was happening inside her chest. She hadn’t been able to take a deep breath for three days—ever since the breakup.

If breaking up was even a thing when they were never officially together—not really. What had started out as a ruse quickly turned into an experiment of compatibility, and eventually companionship—a sweet and tender companionship unlike anything she’d ever experienced. But in the end their lives were as compatible as orange juice and toothpaste. Their schedules clashed, they were in different phases of parenthood, they couldn’t agree on the same wine—even their yards were at war.

The most heart-wrenching of all? There was no way to fix it. It wasn’t like he could stop being a dad or she could stop taking care of a family that was always on the brink of chaos.

They didn’t fit. And she should have seen it from the beginning. It would have saved them both a lot of hurt. And she’d hurt Jonah, it had been in every inch of his expression. The way his forehead had caved with confusion, his brows sunken with sadness, and his jaw had clenched hard with heartache. Then there were his eyes, pleading and full of pain and promise. So much promise that she had nearly given in, but then she’d thought of how much pain would come when one of those promises was, yet again, broken. And there would be many. It was inevitable.

The end had been inevitable from the very start. A hard fact she needed to accept.

But she couldn’t think about that today. Today was the final vote for Denver’s Best official announcement. The winner would be in the paper, on local television, even Tasha Hart was coming out in support to help spread the news of, what had been nicknamed, Cupid’s Official Coffee House. And rumor had it that Grinder was a serious contender. She just had to charm the judges with their signature drinks, family-like atmosphere, and supportive community.

If you believed ClickByte, rumor also had it that Jonah was going to either: 1) ask her to go to Paris with him, 2) ask her to move in, or 3) ask her to be his wife. Little did they know Jonah wasn’t even going to be there. And by rumors, she meant polls. There were actual ongoing polls, which she was certain Moira was behind.

What a mess she’d made. No one knew about the breakup, and she hoped to keep it that way, at least until after the ribbon cutting tomorrow. Then she’d come clean, not about the ruse, but about the breakup. If people found out she’d lied it could ruin everything—including Grinder’s standing in the community.

Terrifying as it was, she was going to fess up to her family. She was talking the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. They deserved that. But she’d never let her lapse in judgment endanger her parents’ shop.

Evie was parked in the alleyway that paralleled the side of Grinder, and through the side window of the coffee shop, Evie could see her family and the staff zipping about in preparation for Denver’s Best judges, who were supposed to arrive between eight and ten. Refilling sugar dispensers, setting out fresh cream, stocking the pastry cabinet. She should be in there helping, but instead she’d been in her car trying to cover up her dark circles and bloodshot eyes with makeup and eyedrops.

She glanced in the rearview mirror and groaned. “I give up.”

It would take a cargo van full of product to make her look presentable, which was why she’d taken the last three days off, claiming she was sick. And she was sick—lovesick for a man with whom there was no future.

She snapped her compact closed and thought about turning tail and heading home, where she’d crawl back into bed and hide under the comforter with a container of her mom’s snickerdoodles. The amount of energy it was going to take to fool everyone into believing her heart wasn’t torn in two seemed insurmountable. But it was all hands on deck, and people were counting on her. She wasn’t about to let them down because she’d chosen the easy way out.

That wasn’t the Evie way.

She laid her head back against the headrest and stared out the sunroof. October was flexing, with rustling yellow and red leaves, bright blue skies dotted with a few scattered clouds drizzling down on the town that was slowly coming to life. One last time she allowed herself to fall into the past few weeks, remember the deep conversations and even deeper connection, the kissing, the flirty notepad exchanges, that first time they’d made love.

Every memory was fueled with emotion and affection—so much affection it spilled over into other parts of her life. Scratch that. It had spilled over into every part of her life, leaving marks that would never disappear. They might fade over time, but they’d always be there.

There was a tap on her window and she nearly jumped out of the sunroof. Hand to her heart, she turned her head and her stomach sank. A tiny part of her had hoped it was Jonah, there to tell her that he couldn’t let her walk. That he’d miraculously found a way for this all to work—for Evie to chase her dreams, be there for her family, and still have time to devote to their relationship. And love.

But love, she’d learned from distant and not-so-distant history, didn’t seem to fit into her schedule. So when she saw Julie’s nose-pierced face pressed against the window, she let out a sigh of equal parts relief and disappointment.

Evie rolled down the window.

“You want to tell me why you’re sitting out in your car looking like someone shit in your best handbag?”

Before Evie knew what was happening, tears that she thought had long ago dried up resurfaced, leaving her blurry and uncertain of what was in front of her.

“Okay, scoot over,” Julie said, opening the door and shoving Evie over until they were sharing the same seat. She slammed the door shut and the console shanked Evie in the ribs. “I knew you weren’t sick.”

“How?” Evie asked through a few stray sniffles.

“Best friends know these things. Plus, you have never called in sick. Not even to play hooky, which is a damn waste of the general manager title if you ask me.”

“Or it’s the responsible thing to do.”

Julie rolled her eyes. “Responsible is something sad people say.”

“Or something successful people say.”

Julie looked at Evie’s shirt and snorted. “You’re wearing a shirt that says ‘Good Morning,’ I Whisper to My Latte. It doesn’t quite have that cover of Time magazine vibe. Plus, I saw Jonah at the market last night.”

At the sound of his name, adrenaline jump-started her pulse, kicking her brain into hyper speed. “You saw Jonah?”

“In the flesh.”

“Did he say anything?” Evie asked, going for unaffected, although her body was affected as hell by the mere mention of his name.

“Didn’t have to. He looked like roadkill.”

Evie didn’t know if that made her feel better or worse, that he was as messed up as she was. “But did he say anything?”

“Yeah, like, I said, ‘Good to see you,’ to which he grunted. I said, ‘How’s it hanging.’ He said, ‘South.’ Then he said something about screwing up and needing to make it right.”

“He can’t make it right,” Evie heard herself say.

“Why not?”

“Because the only way for this to work would mean one or both of us giving up our dreams,” she said, although she felt like she’d already given up on one. “This is all your fault, by the way.” She poked Julie in the arm.

“Ow.” Julie poked back. “And how am I the dream stealer?”

“Because”—she emphasized with another poke—“you”—poke, poke—“just couldn’t stay out of my dating life.” Poke, poke, poke.

“Before me you didn’t have a dating life.”

“Exactly! And I was fine. Now I’m in the same spot, just miserable.”

Julie’s expression softened. “You dumped Jonah?”

“How do you know I broke it off? Who’s to say he didn’t do the dumping?”

“The fact that he’s looking for solutions and you’re sticking to the whole martyr complex.”

“I might have a superhero complex but I’m not a martyr.” Evie had never complained to her family about the sacrifices she’d made. Ever. She just kept her head down and pushed forward. In fact, the only person she’d been completely honest with about being stretched thin was Jonah.

“Nah, superheroes are brave in the face of fear. When it comes to yourself, you’re fearful of anything remotely brave.”

“Are you saying I’m a coward?”

Julie pulled a brush out of the glove box, which meant she had to lean across Evie, elbowing her in the boob. “I’m saying that you’ve gone through some rough experiences that would make any sane person afraid to dip their toes into the love lagoon. But love doesn’t have to end badly.”

“He made me miss my placement exam, Jules,” Evie whispered. “He made an irresponsible choice and, mistake or not, it derailed my life. And I’m tired of other people skidding into my lane and then saying, ‘Whoops, sorry about totaling your car, but I was on the phone.’”

“What if he had the blinker on the whole time and was trying to merge, but you were so busy keeping your eyes forward that you missed the signals?”

Oh, she’d missed them all right. Maybe that’s why they had collided instead of merging, because she was in the carpool lane with a family who refused to put on their safety belts. And Jonah’s car wasn’t any safer. In fact, even with his third row they couldn’t fit both their families into a single vehicle.

“Do you want it to work?” Julie asked quietly.

“Yes, but I can’t see it happening right now. I just don’t have enough to give and I’m not willing to let my life slip through the cracks for a man again.”

“Too bad,” Julie said.

Evie blinked. “That’s it? Too bad? That’s your advice?”

“If he made you choose between your own needs and his, then you did the right thing.”

“Then why does it hurt so bad?” Evie whispered.

“Because you love him,” Julie said, pulling her into a hug. “I saw it at the bar.”

“Do you think everyone saw it?” And by “everyone” she wondered if that included Jonah. Yes, she’d told him she loved him, then she’d walked away as if her heart wasn’t breaking. But did he see it, feel it like she did?

“I think the people who mattered saw it.”

Julie ran the brush through Evie’s hair and began styling it.

“What are you doing?”

“You’ve got a hundred or so people who are waiting to see the famous You’ve Got Male girl, who are here to cast their final vote for Denver’s Best. There’s already a crowd of people who have gathered inside. And there are even people waiting outside, since the fire marshal threatened to come out if we allowed more than our maximum capacity in today.”

“Seriously?” Evie squinted and peered through the side window of Grinder and looked through the shop. She caught a glimpse of a herd of brightly colored umbrellas huddled near the front door, which was around the corner on Main Street.

“They’ve been there since six. Asking for you.”

Evie craned her neck farther. “But it’s raining.”

“Not even Zeus could take on Cupid at this point.”

“Until everyone finds out that we broke up. Then the Greek Goddess Pheme will have her way and people will be talking about the poor broken-hearted sap who gave love a try only to have her life hijacked.”

“Well, then let’s reclaim it. And when people talk, and they will, you just keep your chin up and say it wasn’t meant to be but you’re still open to finding love.”

“Even if I’m not?”

“Especially then. Otherwise everyone will know you’ve still got it bad for the irresponsible prince next door.” Julie pinched Evie’s cheeks. “Fake it till you make it, babe.”

Fake it till you make it. That was going to be Evie’s new motto.

Julie gave Evie’s hair a final fluff, then sat back and looked at her handiwork. “That will have to do.” She opened the door and stepped out, then yanked Evie to her feet. Her hair immediately frizzed on contact with the drizzle.

“What are we doing?”

“We’re going to greet your waiting fans, celebrate how well Grinder is doing, and blow those judges’ cocks off.”

“You mean socks off?”

“Tomayto. Tomahto. Now let’s go show them what a woman who is taking charge of her destiny looks like.”

For the first time since the breakup, Evie felt something other than debilitating pain. In fact, she felt powerful. Like her future was hers to define. The closer she got to the shop, the higher her shoulders rose until that martyr was replaced with a superhero.

Too bad it only lasted ten seconds.

“Mom.” Camila came rushing over, her face pale and her eyes watery. “I didn’t mean to. I mean, I didn’t think… Kira saw Ryan and me holding hands and the team made a big deal about how he could be my stepbrother so I told them…” She broke off in a sob. “I told them…”

“Hey.” Evie took her daughter by the shoulders. “Whatever it is, we can fix it.”

“We can’t fix this. I told them you and Jonah were a lie.”

It was as if the entire world slowed to a halt, so suddenly Evie lost her balance and nearly fell flat on her face. Her lungs stopped working and her skin felt too tight to contain all the emotions racing through her body. Panic being the biggest offender.

“It wasn’t true?” Julie asked, her voice so confused Evie had to work hard to swallow. “You lied to me?”

“I didn’t want to, it just kind of happened and—”

“We’re here with Evie from You’ve Got Male,” Tasha Hart said, rushing down the street and shoving her phone in Evie’s face. “LoveByte Nation and ClickByte subscribers want to know if it’s true.”

A bad feeling started in the pit of her belly. “Is what true?”

“Did you fabricate a relationship as a publicity stunt to win Denver’s Best?”

The blood left her face and she felt lightheaded. “What?”

“A source close to the family went on record saying that you and Jonah were never dating. It was all a big ruse.”

Evie looked at Camila, who was crying. Julie, who looked betrayed. And the crowd of “supporters,” who now looked like an angry mob. Then there were her parents, holding on to each other as if they needed the support.

“It wasn’t a publicity stunt.” But now that she viewed it from an outsider’s perspective, that’s exactly what it looked like.

“But was it real?” Tasha pressed.

Evie could keep the lie going, which would make Camila look like the liar. And then when they found out that Jonah and Evie ended their relationship the day of the judging it would look staged. What had she gotten herself into?

She found her parents, standing at the front door of the shop, their eyes locked on Evie’s, so much betrayal and disappointment in their expressions it was too hard to look at them. But she knew what they were thinking. Not only had she lied to them, her lie could cost them the shop. And lying would only make things worse.

“Yes. It started as a partnership to get everyone off my back about dating, but—”

“So you admit you were playing us all?”

“That wasn’t my intention, but I can see how that would…” Go for honest, Evie. “Yes, I was playing everyone.”

A collective gasp went up and Evie felt those once-again high shoulders sink with regret and a good dose of shame.

“Well, you heard it here folks, You’ve Got Male was a marketing hoax—”

“I never said that—”

“Preying on the innocent romantics of the world. Cupid’s Coffee House doesn’t sell love. It sells lies. And I can assure you that this is one unsatisfied customer who will be taking my caffeine needs elsewhere.”

“Tasha,” she called out, but Tasha was already packing up her things and heading toward the parking lot, taking with her the crowd that had turned out to see if true love was real. And left heavy hearted.

Join the club.

“Evie,” a pain-filled voice said from behind. Evie turned and it was Alex from the You’ve Got Male-Mamas. She had a baby popped on one hip and a toddler by the hand. “Is it really true? You didn’t find your prince?”

“It looks like I didn’t,” Evie said, but something in her heart wanted to argue.

“You know, we all looked up to you. Believed that if it could happen for a single mom like you then maybe it could happen for us, too.”

“And it still can,” Evie said encouragingly. “Just because I shortcut the system doesn’t mean that you did. You and Ernie seem like a really good match.”

“Excuse me,” a man in a suit holding a clipboard said. “I’m David from Denver’s Best and we’re here to check out the famous Cupid’s Coffee.”

Fuck. Her lie hadn’t just hurt the people around her. It had the power to destroy her parents’ shop.