Chapter Forty-Two

Jonah

Jonah sat on the back deck, staring off into the distance. He saw none of the freshly planted flowers overflowing in the raised beds, or the new shrubs that lined the fence and side yard. He saw nothing but blurred, empty space—kind of like what was carved into his chest.

He’d been in a zombie-like state since Evie had chosen the easy way, leaving him with the cold hard truth—his love wasn’t worth fighting for. He’d been here before—twice—but this time had wrecked him beyond repair. He still felt the marks her words left with every breath he took.

Today was the walk-through with the Beautification Board. She hadn’t come. Evie hadn’t even shown up to see the finished product of what they’d grown together, making it more than clear that being with him was too much of a sacrifice. That a life without his love was easier to accept than the baggage that came with his world.

He knew he’d messed up—big time. But not big enough to justify her walking away. He’d been tempted to call her a thousand times, but he’d meant what he’d said. He couldn’t fight for another person who would rather leave than work things out.

Every word of hers had turned into fists, socking him in the chest, over and over, leaving his heart bruised and battered. Unlike bruises, though, these would never fully heal.

With a growl, he walked down the slate path and out into the front yard to hear the final outcome of the Beautification Board’s ruling. He didn’t want to hear it. He didn’t want to hear anything that reminded him of Evie. It was as if the sun had been extinguished from parts of his soul and they’d never feel the warmth again.

But he needed to get it together. He couldn’t put his kids through another downward spiral. They deserved better.

With that last thought, he walked through the gate and came to a full and complete halt. The crowd had doubled. His front lawn had more senior citizens than Thursday night bingo. It smelled like fresh-cut grass, Werther’s caramel candy, and Bengay. And they all looked as if they were about to burst with news.

“Do you need to check out the backyard as well?” he asked.

“No,” Mrs. Gomez said. “The board only has oversight of what is visible from the street. And what you’ve done is just lovely, dear. Amber would be so happy to see her flower-lined walkway again and the shrubs are quite the statement. You went above and beyond.”

Before he could stop himself, he said, “I had help.”

Confusion tinted Mrs. Gomez’s expression. “We know. Which is why we’re surprised you’re here.”

Now it was his turn to be confused. “Of course I’d be here. Where else would I be?”

“At the coffee shop,” she said, and mumbles of agreement wafted up from the crowd.

“Why the hell would I be there?” That’s the last place on the planet he’d be…unless they didn’t know. Secrets were a commodity in their neighborhood, so he’d just assumed that word had traveled of their breakup.

Shit.

He ran a hand down his face. He did not want to explain his personal life to a bunch of busybodies, especially since their fake relationship and subsequent breakup had played out for America to see. “I wanted to be here to hear your decision.”

Neighbors turned to each other in quiet conversation, and it was as if everyone was in on the secret but him.

“What’s going on?” he asked.

“We’re guessing you haven’t been following Tasha Hart on LoveByte.”

“Why would I?” The only reason he had for logging onto ClickByte was to see Evie. The first thing he’d done after the breakup was to delete the fucking app.

“I think there’s something you need to see,” Mr. Karlson said, walking over to him. He pulled out his phone, opened the app, and searched for @YouveGotMale, then handed him the device.

His breath caught painfully in his chest when he saw Evie’s face on the screen. She was standing in front of Grinder wearing that blue dress he’d seen in her room all those weeks back. Her hair was hanging in long, silky waves, she was worrying her lower lip, and there was this vulnerable expression that got to him. She was so beautiful it hurt just to look at her.

Only, he couldn’t explain what was happening, but something a whole hell of a lot like hope flickered in his chest.

“Hi,” she began and her voice wobbled. “It’s Evie again, and I need your help. Which is huge for me because I have a hard time asking for help, but I’m working on that. Because I’m learning that part of love is being vulnerable and admitting when you’re scared. And I was scared. I guess I still am, but I’m not going to let my fear control me.

“When my friend posted that video, she did it because she wanted to see me put myself out there and find some of that happiness I’d lost. But happy is terrifying because once you capture it there’s a chance you might lose it. I thought it was safer to avoid finding real love than find it and lose it. But I was wrong.”

“Love is scary,” one of his neighbors said and Jonah shot him a zip it or I’ll zip it for you look. The guy went palms up as if to say, Well it is.

Jonah went back to the video. “I never meant to lie to you,” she said, and Jonah knew that she wasn’t talking to America anymore. She was talking to him. “We did have a relationship. A beautiful friendship that turned into something more. Something to treasure, something worth fighting for. I thought if I gave into what we had, I’d lose myself. But I realize now that falling for you helped me find parts I thought I’d never get back. It also helped me find some of that happy. A lot of happy, and I want to be happy again.”

She took a step closer to the camera and it was as if she were standing in front of him with her heart in her eyes. “You are worth fighting for, and I’m sorry if I ever made you feel like you weren’t. You are kind and thoughtful and everything I could want in a partner. But you know how sometimes when things get messy I try to organize them but end up making a bigger mess of things? Well, I messed up.”

“So did I, sunshine,” he whispered.

“I know how it feels to be walked away from. I know how much it hurts. Just like I know how much I hurt you. But I promise that if you give me another chance, I’ll fight for love every day. I’ll fight for you every day. Please let me fight,” she said, and he could see the emotion well up and line her lashes.

Jonah hadn’t thought about that before now. He’d been so fixated on his own hurt and insecurities, he forgot that Evie had been left with a huge responsibility she had to shoulder all on her own at a young age.

He hadn’t just made her miss her exam, he’d made her miss out on something she’d already lost once.

“I’m going to be where this all started, where I handed you an invitation that ended up changing my life, with my heart open and yours if you want it. If it’s not too late. I’ll be standing right here at one forty-three, with my final rose, hoping my prince charming shows up to claim it. Not to save me, but to love me and let me love him back.”

God, he wanted her love, almost as much as he wanted to love her.

He looked at the time on the phone and felt his palms sweat and his heart race with panic. It was 1:38 p.m. and the shop was ten blocks away.

“Do you need a ride, son?” Mr. Karlson asked. “I’ve got my car running and ready to go.”

“With traffic there’s no way I make it.” Jonah didn’t even stop to think, he just took off in a dead sprint.