38. TOO CHILL

38

TOO CHILL

Summer

My eyes flutter open, and my face is squished in a chest with small blonde hairs. Skin to skin, every part of our bodies touching. Not that there is a choice, my bed is a one sleeper compared to their comfortable queen sizes.

"You up?" Archer's raspy voice pulls my gaze up to his face. He doesn't look like he's slept at all, and I frown. I feel a little guilty I called in the middle of the night to come and sleep here still frightened. I have never felt unsafe in my room, but Logan made me feel unsafe.

I haven't exactly talked to Archer about it, but I did tell him Logan came over and we fought. He didn't push for details even though I owed them to him. But Archer has a temper, and I never know what his reaction will be especially if he finds out what Logan did.

Archer loves me and is always gentle with me, but I have seen his temper too. He can go super Saiyan at the drop of a hat and they already had a confrontation of sorts.

And I may not know much, but Archer would fuck Logan up if he found out what happened. I have to keep it shut so not to make this a bigger drama than it is. For my peace.

Right now, I just want my peace back. Even though my life is a bigger mess than I hoped. And I can't even blame anyone else. I did this. I strung Logan along for months knowing it was nothing. How could it? I was still in love with them, and the business wasn't finished. Not by a long shot.

Archer's hand moving along my hips brings me back, and I wonder how long I've been quiet.

I collect myself. "Yeah, I'm up. Sup?"

He shifts to his side, and I mirror him. I know that look "What I want to know is what is up with you and what happened last night."

I fix my mouth to say nothing is up, but I stop myself. How many times am I going to lie?

"Logan is not taking things well," I say honestly but also carefully.

Arch brushes my shoulder almost mindlessly, but it's anything but. He is giving me a false sense of calmness. Lulling me in his comfort so I tell him everything. "What did he do?"

I decide on a head shake instead of a bald-faced lie.

"I saw the dent on your wall, Peach," he says softly.

Fuck. Panic sets in when I see a flash of his rage. But he quickly collects himself.

"He didn't hurt me, Arch," I say quickly.

"I didn't say he did," he says smoothly and way too chill.

"Don't get involved. Don't confront him, please. Just let it go," I say, trying to reason with a madman. With Arch, it can go either way. Actually with all of them.

"How can I when he's making you shake with fear in the middle of the night, baby?" His hand moves to my bare back going up and down my spine and the sensation is tingling and relaxing. But I know better than to be lulled. I need to make sure this doesn't turn to more.

"I am asking you. I am begging you." I hold his gaze that is a blue hue this morning. He looks so innocent and…sane. What false advertising. Archer should look like a Viking for how brutal he can be when he loses his mind.

I've only ever seen him almost pummel someone to death once. It was a guy in a neighboring high school who called me a whore because I refused to go out with him for months when he heard news of me and the guys being together.

I told Arch thinking he was the calm one. Arch knew the guy and the very next Thursday we went to the movies, and ran into the guy with his friends at the mall. Archer went from laughing with me to a demon in a blink of an eye.

The guy's three friends couldn't stop Arch. That was a difficult ride home after he got held at the police station for a few hours.

Arch pulls me closer in an affectionate gesture with all his tenderness for me. He kisses my eyelids before covering me with his body. And I stay in his embrace, body tense because I don't know what he will say. I wait for him even as I feel his body vibrate slightly.

"I won't hurt him…" he says before pulling back to look me in the eye. "…yet. But he came here to harass you and it's going to take a lot for me to chill. If he lets it go, I'll hold it. But if he tries anything else." He brushes my cheek lovingly, but I see his deranged inner demon. "I will fuck him up, Peach. And I won't give a fuck. Nobody fucking touches you."

I can't do anything but nod knowing he means every word. As scary as that is, it also gives me some peace reminding me more of why I love this boy so much. Arch chooses me above everything, every time.

He sits on my bed, watching me get ready for the library. He won't be joining me because I don't need more temptation, and I really need to study. Much to his disappointment. But I am not going to drop the academic ball just because my personal life is a mess.

"I want to take you on a date," he says, eyeing me like I am a popsicle he wants to lick so bad.

"When?" I adjust my boobs in the bra.

"As soon as possible."

"Well, that's eager," I joke.

He grins. "Always."

I try to smile but it falters. Memories that not all is perfect, and it can't be at the moment reminds me just how hard I fucked up.

"I don't know, babe. I owe Harv a lot before we go riding into the sunset," I say honestly, taking my white shirt from him.

He doesn't answer immediately. The shit with Harv is a lot. How the fuck did it get this twisted? I just need to set my feelings on the side and grovel. But where I begin is what I don't know.

Would I forgive him if I was in his position? The probable answer is no. If he dumped me after I got sexually assaulted, I'd hate him with every fiber of my being. A part of my brain reminds me he lied about it. But why would he lie? Why did they all lie to me?

"He isn't dating that girl," Arch says.

"What?"

"He isn't dating her," he says again.

"Then why would he…?"

"To make you jealous." He pauses. "He is still hurt about Logan and how everything went down."

I deflate. I knew it, of course, but hearing it also doesn't make me feel less shame as I sit next to Arch on the bed.

"How can I win his forgiveness? What can I do?"

"I don't know…" he says.

My eyes look at him with confusion. "You don't know?" I almost laugh and he smirks a little.

"Your relationship with Harv is yours two. I don't know how you finesse him. But he still feels a lot for you. He's really hurt though. So, I don't know. You'd have to figure that out yourself."

"That isn't very helpful, Deltona."

"Hey, I tried." He shrugs before he comes closer. "But…you need to act quickly because I'm over all this mess."

I elbow him and he backs away. I get up to finish dressing, tucking my shirt in, and think about what he said. I need to do something big. But what can I do? Maybe I can see Caleb or Jaden later and they can help me.

Or maybe I can try and talk to Harv. That would be the big girl move. I need to own up to this shit, my part at least, and try and meet him where he is. I also need to brace for the possibility that he may not trust me with his heart anymore. But how do I prepare myself for the possibility that he won't want? Those are all the fat questions.

Archer walks me to the library and leaves me there. I spend the whole day there working hard drowning on my academic work just so I can avoid the very real shit bubbling in my heart and mind.

By the afternoon, I decide I need a break. But as I get up from my little nook, I see Fay walking towards the section I'm in. She doesn't seem to see me, engaged in a whisper conversation with the girl she's walking with. I get up quickly and walk towards them. She spots me quickly and smiles a knowing smile which annoys me a little. I wave a little and the two girls slow down.

"Hi," I greet them.

"Hi," they greet back.

"Can I talk to you for a second, Fay?"

"Sure." She looks at her friend and gives her a nod. The girl leaves and I lead Fay to my nook.

"How are you?" I start the awkward conversation, now realizing I don't even know why I intercepted her, nor do I know exactly what I want to say to her. Will stay away from my man shine me in a dim light? Too much?

"I'm great and how are you, Summer?" Her brilliant smile almost makes my eye roll.

"Cool. Cool. Um, look. I wanted to apologize for yesterday. That was weird for me, and I acted weird. Sorry."

"Ugh, it's cool. I would have done the same."

I nod. "Just for the record, I am happy for you and Harv. He's a great guy and I'm sure you are great too. So…yeah." I want the ground to swallow me up at that last one. Why did I say that? Summer, what happened to bossing up?

Fay just smirks. "You are much too chill about this," she says.

"Huh?"

"Me and him. He said you'd be incensed," she confesses with a little chuckle.

"What do you mean?"

"We aren't dating."

"Okay? Then what…?"

"I am his new step-cousin and we bonded over our mutual hate of his mother's and my uncle's gross relationship," she murmurs.

"I don't know what you mean. Step cousin? Who are you?" Harvey didn't have a step-cousin.

"Ooh, it seems you are out of many loops. I may have spilled a lot. But the essence is we aren't dating. Just sort of forced family turned to acquaintances to appease our respective mother and uncle, who are getting married in three months, and he asked me to be his pretend girlfriend. Poor soul."

I stand there dumbfounded. His mom is getting married? Fuck . No, fuck fuck fuck.

"Shit," I blurt out.

"Yeah…" she breathes out, understanding my reaction.

"How long is this relationship?"

"Three months and a half," she says.

"What?" I say loudly, too loudly for a library.

Fay looks around. Before her gaze comes back to me sporting a sympathetic look.

"Um, I have to go," she says and I nod.

"Thanks," I say as she walks away, and she turns to nod over her shoulder before she disappears in a row of shelves.