Chapter 21

Twenty-One

D ane

Walter's steadying hand at my back was the only thing keeping me from falling to my knees. Seeing my mother in a hospital bed, old and frail, when she couldn't even see me, was breaking my heart.

"Oh, Detective… You found my boy?!" She took in a shaky breath. "Dane? Is it really you?"

She held my hand with both of hers, and I broke at the sight of her gnarled knuckles. Her hands had created so much beauty in this world, had raised me by herself, had made me her whole world…

"It's me, Mom. I'm so sorry!"

She reached up and touched my face, her eyes open and unfocused, and when she touched my hair, she smiled so wide.

"My blond baby. It's been so long! What happened to you, baby?"

"I'm sorry." I couldn't… I cracked wide open. Walter pushed a chair under me just as I collapsed, and I put my face against her hands and cried. How could I have left her for so long? How could I have hurt her like this?

"Mrs. Donovan, Dane has had dissociative amnesia. I found him the day after I came to see you."

Her brow furrowed. "My baby… were you hurt?"

"I'm okay now," Dane whispered.

"Mrs. Donovan, for reasons I'll explain to you in the future, we must keep his true identity a secret for his safety. His memories were triggered by an encounter with a young man, at the place where he's been working this whole time."

"Oh," she said, brightening a little. "You mean your friend Hunter? He was just here, before you came in."

And the bottom dropped out.

"Hunter was here… to see you?" The shakes took over, and I turned to Walter.

"Denny!" he called out the door."What did Hunter say to you?" Walter asked Mom.

"Oh… he said he'd been your friend. He said he hadn't seen you for a long time and hoped you'd be back soon. It was odd, I don't remember you ever mentioning anyone named Hunter."

"He's not my friend, Mom. He's?—"

Walter squeezed my shoulder and shook his head."We'll talk to him, ma'am. Is there anything else you remember about his visit?"

Her eyes traveled to the ceiling as she thought for a moment."He said, ‘I'll see you again.' Maybe he works here? I heard the wheels of a cart when he left the room."

Walter held up a finger, and he stepped outside the door with Denny. They whispered to each other, and then Denny hurried down the hall.

"Are you hurting, Mom? Are you in any pain?"

"No, not at all. It was the strangest thing. The morning after Detective Muse came to see me, I woke up and my eyes wouldn't work right. I couldn't see straight ahead at all and the sides were unfocused, and I had a bit of a headache. Barbara called an ambulance and they brought me here. Once the headache was gone, I felt fine, only I still can't see right. The doctor says it's a visual processing issue, that the messages between my eyes and my brain are scrambled. It may or may not last. A bit of a nuisance, but Barbara has assured me we'll make it work. This might be the next phase of my painting. The blind phase." She laughed then, though I couldn't imagine how she could find humor in her situation. Then again, she'd made it through so much, including losing her son. She might see this as yet another trial to endure.

"Mom, I'm here. I'll help you."

"You're such a good boy. But I'm okay, and I have Barbara, plus we'll be hiring a nurse to come in during the day. I would be more upset… but I feel grateful. Grateful I had so much time to create and see the world." Her smile fell. "My only regret was not having you in my life."

"Mom—"

"No, baby. Don't be sad for me. But I want to know more. Are you okay? Were you hurt bad?"

"Yeah, I was hurt." I blew out a breath. I didn't ever want her to know the full extent of what happened to me. "But I'm okay now. Everything's okay now. Walter is helping me, and my new friends Kal and Ryan, they were the ones who found me… I'm going to be okay. I'm home, and I want to take care of you."

"You're here. That's all that matters to me."

We held hands, and I thought, maybe she's right. I'm here now, and that's all I can do.

Walter was out in the hallway with Denny and a couple of uniformed police officers, and the tension coming off them filtered into the room. Barbara was out there as well, leaving Mom and I alone.

"I've missed so many things about you," she said quietly. "But I especially miss your singing. I'm sorry I put so many barriers in the way of you living your dream."

"Mom, you didn't. I was stubborn?—"

"Of course you were. You're my son. Would you sing for me?"

I smiled. I recalled the day she'd come home early from one of her trips to surprise me, and I was in the living room singing along to Buffalo Springfield's "Flying on the Ground is Wrong." I'd come home from school, and I was frustrated because a boy I'd been friends with—well, in his mind we were friends, but I'd felt a lot more for him—had told me to get lost so he could hang out with the cool kids. Mom had let me buy a few records the last time we'd gone to town, and I'd had Buffalo Springfield on repeat, deconstructing their lyrics and harmonies. I wanted to learn how to play the songs, but I wanted to play them on guitar. I hadn't yet worked up the guts to ask Mom for one. So I stood in our living room in front of the big windows and sang into the afternoon sun.

I sang those words for her now.

She closed her eyes and tapped her fingers on the back of my hand in time with the beat. Walter came in the room. I felt him at my back, but he didn't interrupt me, and by the time I'd finished the song, Mom had fallen asleep with a smile on her face.

"She's so happy," Walter whispered. "There's been a tension in her face all the times I've seen her, but it's gone. Look at her, Dane."

"I put her through so much." If I'd thought I'd been through all of the emotions in the past three days, I'd forgotten I could feel small. So small. I'd caused this woman so much pain. What an awful, awful legacy. A good-for-nothing son who complained about the rules she'd put in place to protect me."I should have listened to her…"

Walter dropped to a knee, and I wrapped my arms around him.

"You can't help what happened, Dane. But you coming back, you being here now when she needs you most, what a blessing for her. She had no idea she'd ever see you again, and now she has you for the time she has left."

"I almost didn't make it in time," I said to him. "Walter, I almost didn't see her again."

He held me so tight, and absorbed my tears and shakes until I was able to breathe again.

"Oh no! I didn't tell her about us."

He pulled back and smiled at me. "We'll have time for that. It's okay."

I laughed. "That might have sent her over the edge. Which would be a bigger shock? That her son, who's been gone for forty years, shows up out of the blue? Or that he's got a boyfriend?"

Walter's eyes flared but his smile grew wider. "Definitely the boyfriend part, especially because he's a pig." He winked at me, and I covered my mouth to keep from waking my mom.

"You're not. You're not like the cops were."

He raised his eyebrows. "How do you know? Maybe I'm a billy-club-wielding asshole."

I snorted. "Who listens to hippie folk music? I doubt it. Oh, but a uniform… do you wear a uniform, Detective Muse?"

"Only when I'm called out for special occasions or if I'm doing extra shifts on patrol."

I started fantasizing about him in tight navy-blue pants, but there were more serious things to worry about right then.

"What happened with Hunter? Was he here?"

Walter's serious expression was back. "Yeah. They've got him on surveillance cameras on this floor and then leaving the hospital before we got here."

"Did you check on the house?"

Walter's eyes narrowed. "Let me call Ryan." He tapped his screen and waited a few beats, his frown growing deeper. Finally it picked up. "Kal? Where's Ryan? He what ?" Walter's gaze shot to mine. "Okay. Okay, we'll be right there. No, don't leave. Lock the door and don't open it for anyone but us or Gene, all right?"

Walter took a deep breath.

"What happened?"

"Ryan mentioned he was waiting for a delivery, I should have warned the officer at the house. Someone showed up, the officer saw the delivery uniform and a box. He called up to the house through the intercom and when Ryan said he was expecting something, the cop let him in the gate."

"Is Ryan okay?"

Walter nodded slowly. "He's okay, but we need to get back there."

I didn't want to leave my mom. "Is she?—"

"She's safe here at the hospital. They'll have an officer guarding the door at all times until we catch this guy. He's taking chances—he's going to get caught."

"Walter…" I didn't want to say the words, but enough was enough. "I should use the board again. I can find him."

"Dane, you can't. It takes too much out of you."

"If it means catching him and putting an end to all of this?"

Walter stood and took my hand, leading me from the chair. "I don't like it," he said.

Barbara came in then. "My goodness, Detective Hamilton told me about the man who was here earlier! I'm afraid for Diane."

"We're going to catch him, I swear. Stay here with Diane. If anything happens that makes you feel uncomfortable, call me right away. If the patrol officer leaves for any reason, call me."

She nodded, her eyes wide. "Thank you, Detective. And Dane… I'm so happy you're okay. I know you don't know me, but I've worked for your mother for a long time. You've always been her greatest joy. I hope you'll be able to spend more time with her."

I took her hand. "Of course I will. Thank you for being with her when I couldn't."

Small. So small.

Walter leaned in close to her. "If anyone asks, this is Dee Dee Miller. He's Dane's son. I'll explain everything when Diane is well."

"Thank you, Detective."

We found Denny outside the elevators, and he was on the phone. He pushed us toward the open doors and inside the elevator while he ended his call.

"Clusterfuck of epic proportions. These goddamned LAPD… rookie fucking move."

"What happened, exactly?" Walter asked him. He pulled me against him, and I held on tight.

"It wasn't Holland, but they shouldn't have let anyone up to the house. Whoever it was, he got past the fucking patrol officer, and I don't know where the fuck the rest of Ramos's guys were. He walks right up, rings the bell, Ryan answers, and he fucking clocks him with a club. Twice! The guy's crying, screaming ‘he's making me do it,' starts to drag Ryan out the door but Ryan, thank God, fucking shouts, and Kal comes running. The guy tried to hop the fence, but one of the cops nabbed him when he heard the screaming. They've got him at the station."

"Oh my God, Ryan! Is he okay?"

"Paramedics came, they patched him up. He didn't want to go to the hospital, so they said to monitor him for a concussion. And fucking Ochoa and Brown aren't picking up. There are too many moving parts."

"Walter," I said, tugging on his shirt. "I can find him."

The elevator doors opened and the men put me between them. There were a couple of police cars in the driveway and Denny directed us toward them.

"You have the photo?" he asked the first officer, a woman. She nodded. "Good. Your guy does not leave Mrs. Donovan unattended for any reason, do you understand me?"

"Yes, sir," the officer replied. "Our captain has us here, two more officers on the floor, and one outside her door. He's sent another officer over to the Cross house, as well."

Denny nodded, thanked her, and we made our way back to Walter's truck.

Denny's phone started buzzing as soon as he climbed into the backseat.

"About fucking time! What…? Shit. All right. You hear about Ryan? Yeah… we've got a third guy now. Fuck. Okay. See you back at the house." He hung up. "The halfway house was a bust. Neither Evans nor Holland were there. Evans hasn't shown up for work for four days. Holland missed check-ins the last four days, as well. His parole officer hasn't been able to locate him either—no shit, because he's out slashing and bashing." Denny had several more curse words to get out of his system before he sat back.

Walter was watching him in the rearview. "You gotta talk to this guy who came to the house."

"I will, but right now, I want you two back at the house?—"

"Denny—"

"Fuck, just get us back to the house and we can get organized."

The tension level in the truck rose and my shakes started up so bad, I had to sit on my hands. I wasn't about to fall apart now.

"We still doing the interview?" Walter asked Denny.

"Ramos said to still have the reporter come over and interview Dane, so we gotta get back for that. When that shit hits the news, get ready."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

Denny leaned forward. "We need to be prepared for Holland or Evans to make another desperate move. There's also the chance we flush out Evans that way. Everyone's gotta be alert at the house. Moving you to another location would be dangerous… but I'm confident, barring another fucking mountain lion or some shit, no one will get into the house. I don't see them doing a big show of force. We just can't take eyes off you, not even for a second."

I nodded and wrapped my arms around myself.

"You should also be prepared," Walter added, "that other people may reach out to you once you hit the news. Old friends of your ‘mom and dad's," he said, using finger quotes. "Enemies, people looking to make a buck. We should get you an attorney to be a point of contact. They can also start figuring out your financial situation."

"Okay. Thank you for thinking of everything. I wouldn't even know how to start."

"We gotchoo," Denny said, patting my shoulder.

Walter took my hand in his and lifted it to his mouth. He kissed my knuckles and then held my hand against his thigh as he drove us back up into the canyon.

The street was clogged with activity. Cops were talking to people on the sidewalk and there was a news van parked down the street. Walter had to drive down a few houses to find a place to turn around. When he drove back past, Denny showed his badge out the window and they moved the vehicles blocking the gate so Walter could pull up the driveway to the front of the house.

When we got out of the truck, Denny called over one of the other cops.

"Make sure you get video of every person out front, every license plate number that drives by the house."

"Yes, sir."

Denny and Walter had such different energy, but I had no doubt Walter could be just as take-charge if the situation called for it. Despite the circumstances, I felt safe being back at the house.

When we stepped into the foyer, I heard raised voices. Denny rushed past me, and Walter stepped in front of me.

"Who is it?"

"It's Gene and Dax. Come on, it's okay."

We entered the kitchen, and Denny and Gene were standing with another man who I assumed was Dax, and Denny and Gene were both yelling at Ramos.

"All I'm saying is, how the fuck does your guy let someone come up to the house unescorted?!" Gene shouted.

"You're right, you're right. They'll be on a tighter leash now."

"Damn right," Denny said. "And I'm going to clear every inch of this house. I don't trust that no one got through in the middle of all this circus bullshit." He left and went into the living room, where I heard Kal's voice.

"I want to check on Ryan," I said, and Walter nodded, taking my hand.

We found Kal and Ryan on the couch, talking to another police officer.

"I'm fine, he just sucker punched me. I should have known better. Ouch!"

Kal was trying to hold an ice pack on the side of Ryan's head, but it was obvious he wasn't being a good patient.

"You're going to have a huge bump if we don't keep the ice on," Kal murmured. The crease on his forehead was the most intense I'd seen it yet and his cheeks were splotchy, like mine sometimes got if I was mad or embarrassed.

"Hey, Dee Dee! How's your… how's Diane, man?"

I went and sat next to him, wincing when I saw the bandage on the bone above his temple."I'm so sorry, Ryan?—"

He waved his hand at me. "Don't even worry about it. I'm just getting soft is all. I haven't had to watch my back since last year, so I'm off my game."

"Did he say anything?" Walter asked. "Do you remember anything about him?"

Ryan winced. "Yeah, he said, ‘I'm sorry. He's making me.' What do you suppose that means?"

"Maybe we've got a weak link. We need to talk to this guy."

"Ry-an," Kal said, flustered because Ryan kept taking the ice off his head.

He pulled Kal's face in and kissed him, which flustered Kal even more.

"You're impossible."

"I love you too, baby. Can I have a Monster? Oh, and some of those grapes, please, baby? I'll sit still and let you feed them to me."

Kal shot up off the couch and muttered something under his breath.

"Dude," Gene said to Walter as he joined us. "I thought he was going to murder someone with his bare hands when we got here. He had blood all over him and he was standing over Ryan, wouldn't let anyone get near him."

"Isn't it romantic?" Ryan chirped. "Seriously," he lowered his voice so only the four of us could hear. "How's your mom?"

"She's okay. She can't see too good, but she seems to be okay about everything. Otherwise, the doctor said she's perfectly fine and should be able to go home in a couple of days."

"Or straight into protective custody," Gene said. "I don't know, Walter. I'm starting to think we need to get all these people into a safe house until we catch the guy."

"I'm not opposed to that idea," Walter said. "Someplace that's more defendable than this."

"But Walter, if he can't find us, he's going to hurt someone else." That was my biggest fear, more than him coming after me. That I wouldn't stop him and he'd kill again.

Denny and the new guy came in. The new guy who gave Walter a frown when they shook hands. I didn't like the way this guy looked at him. I also didn't know whether I had a right to feel any kind of way about it, but I did. I might be the one who needed protecting right now, but for all of his strength and stoicism, Walter had revealed a vulnerable side to me that I felt compelled to protect in whatever way I could, even from someone who was supposed to be his friend.

"I'm Dax, by the way." He stepped closer and shook my hand before shooting Walter another look. "It's nice to meet you."

"Dee Dee, this is Detective Dax Brown."

"Detective," I said, but I didn't like the vibe I was getting off him. He kept staring at me, sizing me up.

We all stood there for a moment, the detectives passing looks between each other I couldn't quite interpret.

"Great," Gene said. "Well, the reporter will be here in a little bit so we can get this over with. Hey, Dax, you should talk to him, give a statement about what we know so far."

"Which would be more if you guys had told me what the hell was going on down here."

"Dax," Walter said, but Dax held up a hand.

"You're on vacation. I'm not sure I want to hear anything from you right now."

"Excuse me." I felt a jolt go through me as all four pairs of eyes turned on me. "Ask me anything you want," I said to the rude detective. "But don't take out your feelings of inadequacy on Walter."

Walter put a hand on my arm, but I pulled away from him.

Dax shot me a cold gaze.

"Dax, don't," Denny said, taking him by the arm. "That's enough. Let's go check in with Ramos, then I'm gonna take Walter's truck and go down to the police station to talk to this fake delivery guy."

Walter started to speak, but Denny's eyebrows shot up. Walter cursed and handed him his keys without another word. Denny nodded at him in thanks, but there was also that sad look again.

Why did they all get that look when talking to Walter?

Dax went back into the kitchen with Denny to talk to Detective Ramos, who now had a full command center it seemed going on at the small table in there.

Gene shook his head as they walked away. "That little twat needs to watch his mouth."

"Let him get it out of his system," Walter murmured. He turned to me. "Do you have any questions about what to say? Anything we can do to help?"

I blew out a long breath. "Stick to the story, right? Say as little as necessary about my father." It was so weird to say that. "And tell them what I remember about this Hunter guy and the crime scene?"

"Maybe don't go into detail about the crime scene," Gene said. "Just that you saw the victim and then you guys called the police from Ryan's truck. Maybe don't mention Ryan's name, either. That will bring up a whole lot of questions about your connection to him, and I don't want to bring more heat on him and Kal."

"Good. Okay. Do I have time for a smoke?"

Gene smiled. "Yeah. Take your time. I'll let you know when he's here and set up."

I thanked him and headed out back. I needed to muster up every bit of courage to get through this next part. It was one thing to talk to people I knew were on my side, but I didn't know what this reporter was going to ask me.

I was tired of the unknown.