Chapter 22

Twenty-Two

W alter

I'd been fuming since Dax decided to run his mouth, but I was trying to keep it together for Dane's sake. When he decided to take a smoke break, I asked Gene to keep an eye on him and I went in search of the man who I'd trained, who I'd supported through field training, the detective exam process, and, once he was selected—based on my recommendation—his schooling in solving cases.

I didn't know if it was my ego that was bruised, my superego that wanted to go all "respect your elders" on him, or my id that was tired of being held back and wanted to rage against the slight.

None of these were a good reason to confront Dax right now, but I was beyond caring.

When Denny saw me approaching the kitchen, he stood up and his eyes flared the slightest bit.

"Detective Ramos," he said. "Would you excuse us for a moment? Boys?"

Denny led us through the house and into the back bedroom where he and Gene had taken turns crashing the previous night. He ushered us inside and closed the door behind me.

"I don't think we need an audience for this conversation," was all he said in explanation.

I didn't wait for Dax to start in with his whiny bitch attitude again.

"I'd say I want to know where all this animosity is coming from, but I really don't give a shit. I don't deserve it, and frankly, I'm not going to take it from you. I took that call because dispatch forwarded it to me. I didn't want it, I tried to get out of it, but there you have it. The caller specifically requested me. I came down here because the caller said they had information to give, and they mentioned the Donovan case. So I came down here and shit went a little sideways. The lot of you were all for getting me out of town, probably because you, like our captain, seem to think I can't hold myself together and I'm going to go off the rails at any second. Let me tell you, I have always supported you, Dax, no matter what, and you have done nothing but question me?—"

"You withheld evidence that was vital to my case! Another person died, and you could have helped me. And you didn't come down here and just take a statement, you crossed a line, and in the process you've obstructed justice. I could submit a complaint! I could?—"

"You could shut the fuck up. Right now," Denny said, getting nose to nose with Dax and going all drill sergeant on him. "You don't know dick about shit, you little fuck!"

Dax backed down a bit, if only because he knew Denny wasn't quick to anger but when he did get pissed, he'd wipe the floor with whoever was in his way.

"You're right about one thing, Dax. I did more than take a statement. I learned the truth about the one case that has held me captive for most of my life. And that truth—that man —is more important to me than my career right now, and the moment that became clear to me, I stepped back. I called Cap, I turned the Donovan case over to Denny and Gene, and I'll be damned if you're going to come down here and get in my face when I turned over everything I could to you, as soon as I could. Everything that was relative to your case. If that isn't good enough for you, then do it. Write me up if it makes you feel better. But I'm not going to let you put that man out there in danger, do you fucking understand me?"

Dax's tanned face had lost some color. His eyes were wide, and as he ran a hand over the bottom half of his face, I noticed a sheen of perspiration on his upper lip.

"Walt, man?—"

"I'm sick and tired of everyone treating me like I'm going to go off the rails any second. You know what? I have done my job for twenty-seven years, and I've done it well. I've done everything asked of me, and the one thing I wanted more than anything was to learn the truth about Dane Donovan's disappearance. I wanted to know if my father told the truth or if he was as disturbed as everyone made him out to be. My father did tell the truth about what happened that night at Buttonwillow?—"

"Junior," Denny said in warning.

" Everything my father thought about that case turned out to be true. It's too late for him to find peace in that, but it's not too late for me. I know what happened to Dane, and I'm going to guard that truth for the rest of my life, no matter what it costs me. Even if it costs me my job, my friendship with you, or the respect of my colleagues."

"Junior," Denny said. "You need to get that out of your fucking head right now. No one here thinks you're going off the rails?—"

"Don't think I don't see it in the way you and Gene have been looking at me?—"

"Because we don't want you to get hurt , dumbass, not because we don't have absolute faith in you and your ability to handle yourself. You're not your father, Walter. And your father, despite what everyone may have said about him over the years and what happened to him, was fighting demons long before he became a police officer. The Donovan case triggered shit he'd tried to keep buried for years. He was a victim of the stigma and problematic beliefs that put a lot of veterans in the ground before their time. You have given him the greatest gift possible by becoming the incredible man that you are, not even including the fact that you solved the case that proved his downfall. He wouldn't want you to do anything more than to grab on to this gift you've been given and hold on with both hands."

And when Denny Hamilton lays that kind of shit on you, you have no choice but to cry like a fucking baby.

Which I did. Which further freaked out Dax.

Denny pulled me into his arms and pounded on my back. I don't know why us menfolk feel the need to hit harder when the feelings are bigger, but there you have it.

I tapped out, and he smacked me one more time, hard enough to make my teeth rattle, before he let me go.

Denny turned on Dax with a deep scowl. "Any more shit you want to?—"

"I'm sorry," Dax said. "I don't know what you've been through down here, Walter. I should have asked before I assumed."

I nodded. "Now you know."

"I'm just trying to do my job, the way you taught me. I didn't mean to?—"

"It's fine. Now, ask whatever questions you have remaining so I can get back out there and be there for?—"

"Dee Dee is going to be interviewed by a local news investigative reporter. He's Dane's son. Dane's dead. That's all you need to know." Denny apparently didn't trust Dax to be brought into the inner circle. And I'd trust his lead.

"Oh. Whoa. Donovan had a kid?"

"With Tess Miller. She was pregnant when Dane disappeared. No one knew about him. She sent him away to live with family before she was killed." My heart was pounding in my chest as Denny laid out the story. Could we convince everyone it was true? It was going to take some magic, to be sure.

"Wow. Okay. And you two…"

"Yes," I hissed. "You got a problem with that?"

"No, Walter. Jesus. Did I ever have a problem with you and Brady?"

I shrugged. "Just because you never said, doesn't mean you never did." And just the fact that he used that as his answer had me on edge. Maybe I'd been too trusting of the kid. It hurt to know that an officer I'd trained, who'd looked up to me and learned everything about the job I could teach him, might have been sitting in judgement of me this whole time.

It hurt, but Dane was the most important thing now.

"Walt—"

"We're done here," I said. I nodded at Denny and walked out of the room. I was glad that was over, but it left me with a tight feeling in my chest. On one hand, I was grateful Denny had my back, but on the other… God, had I really read my friendship with Dax so wrong?

I heard Gene laughing in the foyer, so I made my way to his side.

"Oh good, you're here. Walter, this is Cooper Harris. He used to work with Sam. Coop, this is Detective Walter Muse, my best friend. He's been lead detective on the Donovan case. Well, until recently."

I shook the guy's hand and tried not to stare. Cooper was one of those men who's so damned attractive it's hard to breathe around them, much less speak.

"So nice to meet you," he said, and he flashed his million-dollar smile. He wore a light pink button-down shirt that looked like money. His tailored light gray slacks hugged his perfectly formed hips and thighs as if made just for him. Probably they were. Platinum cufflinks glittered in the afternoon sun and his sleek Italian oxfords had a greenish hue to the shine—they looked like a pair of Berluti's that Brady once tried to buy me—and probably cost as much as I made in a paycheck. He was as put together as if he were about to sit behind the desk on the evening news.

Gene had let me know that Cooper was the highest-paid investigative journalist in Southern California, and he was even doing some work with MSNBC, not to mention being a best-selling author and a recipient of the GLAAD Media Award.

"Gene's told me all about you, and I've done my research on your case. I have so many questions." His face lit up with excitement, but I didn't get the creepy feeling I did with some reporters, who wanted salacious details to back up their macabre bylines. If Gene was friends with him, he had to be good people.

"Nice to meet you," I said, a little nervous about his enthusiasm.

There were three women who stood in the doorway with equipment.

"Is it all right if my crew sets up?"

"Sure," Gene said. "Why don't I bring you in and you can decide which is the best place to do the interview."

As we walked into the great room, I spotted Denny on the back patio with Dane. Both of them were smoking. Man, I was going to have to put my other best friend through detox when this was all over.

Something Denny said made Dane laugh, and I was caught up in the picture he made. A sensitive, creative man who'd survived an attack that would have killed someone with less resilience. His green-eyed gaze could be soft and sweet one moment, and the next, harder than steel as if daring you to question him. His limbs were somewhat willowy, but his strong bones that jutted out at his collar, ankles, and, when we were alone, his hips, showed a sturdiness that could withstand hell's worst trials. I wanted to take him away from all of this. I hoped I could, and soon.

I wanted him to myself.

As if I'd somehow telepathically sent my intent through space, he turned and our gazes locked as he took a hit off his cigarette. The surprise was there in his bright eyes, but then a quirk of his lip and a softening around his eyes was the invitation I'd grown to crave. Knowing that he trusted me, wanted me at his side, wanted me …

Denny must have noticed Dane's attention wandering, so he gestured for me to join them outside.

I opened the slider, and Dane's smile grew wider as I moved to his side.

"Everything okay?" he asked. His brows furrowed the slightest bit, as if he could read the residual tension on me.

"It will be." I didn't want to tell him about the bullshit with Dax. Not right now. I needed to cool off.

"So," Denny said, blowing out smoke rings in my direction. "Dee Dee's been telling me about his board."

I raised my eyebrows. "You? And what did you have to say about that, Mr. ‘if it ain't science, get it away from me'?"

Dane laughed and put out his cigarette. He tossed it into the garbage, then wrapped his arms around my waist. I loved holding him close to me, my arm draped over his shoulders. He fit so well against my side. I kissed his forehead, and he gave a happy sigh.

"I'll have you know," Denny said, this time exhaling the smoke with a huff, "I happen to be a very open-minded person."

I stared at him with my lips pressed together as he grew increasingly indignant.

"Just because I question things. I mean, no one trusts what the government says about UFOs… and hey, I went along on the twins' ridiculous 21 st birthday party on the haunted-as-fuck Queen Mary, didn't I?"

"Right, you're absolutely right. But Staff Sergeant Dennis Hamilton believing in Ouija boards? That might be the end of the world."

He rolled his eyes at me and shook his head. "All I said was that I'd be willing to go in with Dee Dee, you know."

My gaze shot to Dane. "Honey…"

He blinked those big green eyes up at me. "I told Denny that I wanted to see what I could find out about Virgil Evans. If I ask the right question, maybe we can find proof of what he's done, find out how many people he's got involved in this. Answers that can put him away and give peace to the families of the people he's hurt, like you said."

And how was I supposed to argue with that?

"Let's get you through this interview first, all right? And then I want you to eat a real meal. Please?"

He squeezed me tight and presented his lips for a kiss, which I was desperate to give him.

"I'm going to leave you two alone for a minute," Denny said, turning for the house—but then he stopped. "Holy shit."

"What is it?"

Denny was staring at Cooper Harris. He and Gene talked to Kal and Ryan as the crew busied themselves with setting up lights and putting the chairs in the right spot for the best shot.

"Denny?" There was some sort of recognition going on there, but I had no idea how he would have known this guy.

"I'm… I'm going to talk to Ramos, get the story on this fake delivery man. I don't want to be out of earshot. You two go on inside."

He hurried away, shooting another perplexed look over his shoulder at Cooper.

"What was that all about?" Dane asked.

"You know, I have no idea, but I'm going to find out. Later. Right now, I need to know you're okay with this. God, Dane, I want to take you away from all this."

He grinned up at me. "I want you to take me away. When this is done and it's safe. Where would we go?" He turned to me and we stood in an embrace.

"Anywhere you wanted to go," I whispered. "I'll do anything."

"Will you stay with me? When this is over? Can we?—"

"That's what I want," I said, my heart working overtime. I could barely believe he was real, but now we were talking about a future? It almost hurt to hope for one. "But you don't have to decide now."

"Do you have to go back to Bakersfield?"

I nodded, but then I frowned. "For a bit, yeah. Get my mom through the healing process from her hip replacement surgery. She's normally really independent. We're more like roommates these past couple of years. I moved back in with her to save some money after Brady and I split. It's been nice, but that's because we know it's not permanent. Then I gotta decide what I'm going to do about my job."

"And after that?" he asked, pulling me tighter against him. "Would you come back to me? Here?"

I smiled. "Where would we live?"

He shrugged. "We could find a place in the canyon, or in Hollywood. Or maybe, I don't know, go someplace totally different."

"Uh-huh, and what would we do? Busk on the streets? I do have to work, you know."

He wrinkled his nose. "We don't have to worry about that right now. What would you want to do?"

"I'd want to take care of you," I said, because honestly, that's all I wanted to do. I pushed his hair back out of his face and pressed a kiss to his nose. "I'd want to cook for you, hold you at night, keep you safe. Let you have the life that you were robbed of. So, the question is, what do you want to do?"

"I only know how to make music, to write. That's what I would do, because I can't not do it. I don't know if there's a place for me or what I do in this time, but I'd want to try."

I pressed my forehead to his. "Then I'd help you do it."

"And my mom. I'd want to take care of her."

"We could introduce our moms. Take care of both of them."

His eyes brightened. "We could have our own place. I could work, and you could cook dinner for me when I got home, and then we could sit together on the couch and watch… what do people watch now?"

"Whatever they want. Or we could just sit and look into each other's eyes. That'd be perfection."

"I told you, you're a poet, Walter."

"You're the poet," I corrected. "You're the magic one. Now kiss me before we have to go back to reality so I can hang on to this feeling a little longer."

"Reality will be what we make it. Soon," he whispered against my lips, and then he kissed me, a whimper escaping from his throat. "Soon. We'll lie naked under the stars and be grateful for everything that happened to bring us together. We'll make love, we'll make a life, and we'll take care of each other."

I pulled him in tight and pressed my face against his neck, running my mustache over his sensitive skin until he started to laugh.

"I want that mustache."

And I wanted to give him everything.

I prayed I'd have the time.

I took him by the hand and led him into the living room.

"How do I look?" Dane asked me. "I didn't even think about being on camera."

"Still gorgeous. Younger than me," I said, brushing his hair off his shoulder. "You're ageless, just like Brad Pitt."

"Who's that?"

Oh, we had so much ground to cover. I would love every minute of it. "He's considered one of the most attractive male actors of our generation. He's in his late fifties, but you'd never guess."

He frowned at me. "You don't seem like you're almost fifty, though, Walter. I picture fifty and I think of old men with hats and suspenders going to church or something, and ladies with curler-set hair wearing polyester and pearls."

"Things are a lot different now. You'll see. You ready for this?"

"Let's get this over with."

"Dee Dee," I said, keeping hold of his hand as I led him over to the area where they'd set up chairs for the interview. "This is Cooper Harris."

Cooper turned that megawatt smile on Dane, who blinked a few times as he slowly held out his hand.

"It is such a pleasure to meet you," Cooper said, his voice full of awe. "I'm sorry it's under such circumstances, but I'm delighted."

"Thanks, me too."

"Won't you have a seat? You are such a handsome man. So like your father. You've got that lovely shade of golden-blond hair that he had, and those seafoam-green eyes. Your mother was a stunning woman, but you certainly favor your father. I've done a whole series of shows about the Laurel Canyon scene, and their stories were two of the most compelling and tragic of them all."

Dane sat and pulled me down beside him, not letting go of my hand. "You probably know more than I do," he said with a small smile. He would have to be careful with Cooper. The man seemed to be hyper-aware of everything. I was just as nervous as he was.

"Well, let's start with the most important question. You shared with the detectives that you've been living and working with a traveling carnival, and that you found the carnival when you were out looking for clues about your father?"

"Yes. My aunt and uncle, they raised me, and they wouldn't talk about him much. I only knew he'd disappeared before I was born."

Cooper's eyes lit up. "Your family didn't believe he ventured off of his own volition then?"

"No," Dane said firmly. "He would never have left, especially if he knew about me."

Cooper nodded and gazed at Dane thoughtfully. Watching a seasoned reporter like Cooper wasn't a whole lot different than a good detective doing an interrogation. "Well, he's certainly been missed, as has your mother. Now, may I ask, do you take after them musically?"

Dane shrugged a shoulder. "I write and play music."

"Wonderful. And you spent the last twenty years with the carnival?"

"I did. I liked the travel, the work was good."

"I'd love to know more about this carnival," Cooper said, but Dane frowned.

"There's not a lot to tell. It's old, been around for a long time."

Cooper nodded at him, his eyes narrowed in thought. Then he tilted his head and the look was gone. "So, Dee Dee. What brought you to Kern County in the early morning hours of December fifteenth?"

This was the part I was worried about. Dane kicked up his chin and exhaled through his nose, his green eyes locked on Cooper's.

"I went to meet up with friends. It had been a strange day. I'd had a weird interaction with a guy at my carnival booth, and I decided to leave. I let my boss know I needed some time off, he was fine with it, so I hooked up with my friend and his husband. They were heading to LA to record some music, so I figured I'd tag along. But then we stopped at the rest area in Buttonwillow, and there was a guy standing over… well…"

Dane couldn't seem to be able to say the words "dead" or "body". Cooper had been filled in on the details and thankfully didn't push.

"And you believe you saw the same man who was at your carnival?"

"Yes. He has very distinctive teeth. There were other links to me at the crime scene, but I don't know if I'm supposed to talk about it." He looked to me, and I smiled at him, giving his hand a squeeze.

Cooper looked thoughtfully at Dane, as if he was deciding where next to go with this interview. Then he turned on me.

"Detective Muse, I'm sure this has been a shock to you. You've been the lead detective on the Donovan case since your father left the Kern County Sheriff's Department?"

"I have been," I said, hoping this guy didn't ask questions about my father. I was doing the best I could to hold it together under the circumstances. "And yes. To have the answers now after forty years is a blessing. We still don't have a firm suspect for Dane's abduction, but we're closer to the truth now."

"And were you surprised to find out that Dane Donovan had a son?"

I smiled at Dane. "Very. I'm disappointed that I don't have answers about what ultimately happened to him. But I'm grateful to have met Dee Dee."

Dane smiled back, and the twinkle in those green eyes let me know that he was enjoying seeing me on the spot.

"My understanding is that you've stepped back from the case?"

"I have. Detectives Ochoa and Hamilton will be taking over for me."

Cooper's small smile faded. "You mean Detective Dennis Hamilton?"

I nodded. "Yes. He and Detective Ochoa came down to help out when it appeared that the suspect from the Buttonwillow attack had a connection to Dee Dee."

"And is he… Detective Hamilton… is he still here?" He reached up a hand to smooth down his perfect hair. His eyes darted around, as if Denny would crawl out of a shadow at any minute. What a strange reaction.

I frowned. "Yeah, he's around."

Cooper exhaled. "Good… that's good." He cleared his throat and then seemed to recover. He smiled at the two of us, looking down at our clasped hands. "We'll keep this part off the record—I'll edit it out—but it seems as though the two of you have become close?"

Dane looked at me with his eyebrows raised. "Detective Muse—Walter—found me during a dark time, and he's supported me through all of this."

"I'm just glad I could."

What went unsaid was that this connection between us had taken us both by surprise. I still wasn't sure what it all meant. I'd always been a practical guy, even when it came to love, but this? Practical wasn't going to cut it. I needed to think beyond my normal Walter Muse City Limits. And pray I got it right if I was going to keep Dane in my life.