Chapter 8

T alia didn't see Xavier at lunch, and neither did she see him as she headed down for dinner. It was an unusual pattern, but, when she saw Shane, she sensed something was off. "What's going on?" she asked.

He gave her a lopsided smile. "Just some hard truths that somebody doesn't want to look at."

"Xavier?"

He nodded slowly. "Have you seen him today?"

She shook her head. "No, I haven't. Did he not show up for your session?"

"He showed up, but he turned and wheeled out about ten minutes later," he shared. "Didn't like what I had to say."

She stared at him in shock. "That's too bad because he was doing much better."

"He was doing much better, better enough that I thought it was time that I brought up something else."

"Okay. Would you care to share?" When he hesitated, she nodded. "That's fine. You don't have to tell me anything. I understand that his medical records are private."

"And I'm not even sure that it's as much private," he added, "as Xavier's having some things to work through, and I think he needs to do that on his own."

"Can he though?" she asked, as she stepped up to get served for dinner.

"That'll be the question, whether he can find his way through this maze on his own or whether he needs to get help. Then, if he needs help, will he ask for it?"

She winced at that. "Asking for help seems to be such a stumbling block for so many of the patients here."

"For some, and then it can be the absolute opposite for others."

"So true. I guess you see it all here, don't you?"

"Sometimes I think I've seen it all, and then something new happens that I haven't seen. I continuously get surprised by the way that some of us process our emotions and the way some don't."

"I wonder if I should go talk to him?"

"You could try. I suspect that he won't let you in."

"Have you gone to see him?"

"Nope, I haven't," Shane stated, with a grin. "I walked past his room, and the door's quite firmly shut."

"Oh, great ," she muttered. "That's a stage I'm not sure I'm ready for."

"You mean, being shut out?" He nodded. "I have to tell you, almost everybody here goes through it at one stage or another."

"Doesn't make me feel any better," she muttered.

He looked over at her. "So how serious is it between you guys?"

"I've only known him a few weeks," she noted, with a shrug, "so how serious can it be?"

"Here? It can get deep very quickly," he stated. "The problems we deal with here end up wiping out all that time that you would normally have spent in getting to know each other," he explained. "Not only are you under a time frame here, but the issues are something that so many relationships never even have to deal with. How often do you see somebody go through a major trauma and have to be there to help support them? Here at Hathaway House, you find out who they are right away."

"Maybe," she conceded, "yet they also have to figure out who they are, and that's not the easiest because they haven't had any chance to figure it out either, not with all the surgeries and healing time and rehab."

"And that is also a truth that makes this a very unique place," Shane agreed, "so, I wish you the best."

She shrugged. "I'm not even sure what I want for myself or for him. Obviously I want him to get better and to have a wonderful, successful life after this rehab process," she shared. "Yet I've never really been in this position before.… Sometimes I wonder if I could even handle a relationship with somebody like him."

"Which at least tells me that it's serious enough that you are thinking about it." She glared at him. He just smiled. "The fact that you are thinking about it is good.… The fact that he's dealing with his stuff right now is also good."

"But is he dealing with it?" she asked worriedly. "Or is he just hiding away and trying to ignore it?"

"Either way it's for him to sort out," Shane stated firmly. "If I don't see him anytime soon, then I will go to his room and check on him."

"The nurses will do that anyway, right?" she asked, a note of worry in her tone.

"Absolutely, the rounds still continue. The medications will be handed out. He will be checked and confirmed that he's alive, if that's what you're thinking."

"It's partly what I'm thinking, but I wouldn't go that far. So thanks for putting that thought in my head."

Shane burst out laughing. "We haven't lost anybody in that way here."

"No, not yet," she muttered, "and it's the yet part that bothers me."

"Then maybe after dinner, stop in and see how he is."

"And if he won't let me in?"

"Then he's not ready to deal with this," Shane replied gently. "And sometimes the best thing you can do is just walk away."

She decided not to stop in after dinner because Xavier's door was definitely closed, and she got this really weird feeling. But the next morning she went straight to his room, after worrying about him all night, and knocked. When there was no answer, she knocked again.

"Go away," he said.

She frowned at that, shook her head, opened the door, and popped her head inside. "No, I won't go away. I don't know what's going on, but I worry terribly about you. I even texted you, but you didn't answer."

He frowned at her, pulled out his phone, and muttered, "I didn't see it.… Sorry about that."

She nodded, feeling better about it, took a step inside. "You coming down for breakfast?"

"No."

"Is your stomach upset again?" she asked. "Do you want me to send Shane up?" Immediately he glared at her, and she stopped. "Okay, obviously something else is going on here that I'm not aware of."

He shrugged. "I don't want anything to do with Shane. I've asked for a new therapist."

"Wow. Seriously? He's the best that we have. He runs the entire department. Most people fight to get him."

"Well, no fight from me. Everybody else can have him."

"I presume he said or did something you didn't like."

At that, his head came up, and he gave her a narrow gaze. "Did you talk to him?"

"I said hi to him last night at dinner. He told me that you were struggling with some concepts, but he didn't tell me what it was about."

He searched her face intently for a moment and then relaxed. "I'm glad he didn't. I would consider that a breach of confidentiality."

"I have no intention of getting into personal issues with you, medical or otherwise," she said. "I was just worried. But I gather that you don't want to talk or have anything to do with anybody." She took several steps backward. "If you decide to come down for breakfast, I'll be there." And she turned and walked away.

She bit her bottom lip, wondering what was going on. And what she should do about it, if anything.

*

Xavier stared at his door after Talia left him, and, for the first time in the last twelve or sixteen hours, he felt like a heel. She wasn't the basis of his ire. Shane was. Xavier didn't have any reason to snap at her. He grabbed his phone and sent her a quick text message saying, Sorry. When he got no immediate response, he felt even worse. Didn't mean that she hadn't seen his text, didn't mean that she wasn't sitting there eating and didn't want to respond.

Her failure to respond didn't mean anything, but, of course, in his mind, it was the worst of the worst that he could have done because she'd been nothing but nice to him. More than that, she'd been real, and she'd been honest, and he really liked her. And here he was, acting like a two-year-old and hurting his chances of getting the improvements that he was looking for. When another knock came on his door, Xavier hoped it was Talia. He called out, "Come in." Instead it was Dani.

Dani walked in and said, "Hey, I understand you're having a problem with Shane."

He just stared at her and wasn't sure what to say.

She raised an eyebrow. "Yes or no?" Her tone was clipped, as if this was something that she dealt with all the time.

"I gather you've had a complaint or two against him before."

"Shane? No. Never. He's the best one we have. But, if you won't cooperate and work with him," Dani explained, "then we'll give you to somebody else."

"What do you mean, if I'm not cooperative and not working with him?"

She turned and looked at him, her tablet out in front of her. "Not everybody is here to be your friend," she began, "Yet all of us are here to show you where there is room for improvement and what you need to do, including Shane. You don't have to do them. Absolutely you do not have to work on the areas that he points out. But you can't expect him to ignore his expertise and to not try to at least show you that there is an area for improvement."

He stared at her and swallowed hard. "Meaning?"

She replied, "We all have jobs to do here. That is part of Shane's."

"I suppose he told you all about it," he declared, with a level of bitterness that surprised him.

"No. You were the one who requested a transfer."

He nodded. "I did. I just thought maybe I would do better with somebody else."

"If you want. Yet Shane works on your specialty, so whatever. If you don't want to have somebody who will get you back on your feet and is doing everything that you stated you wanted to do, that's fine." She clicked away on her tablet. "Mandy has room for another patient."

"Mandy? Who's that?"

"She's one of our newer hires, comes highly recommended though," Dani said. "You'll probably do just fine with her."

"Why?"

"Because she hasn't been here long enough to understand the games the patients play, even with themselves," she murmured. "I've just arranged for the transfer. I'll fill her in right now. You can expect to see her later today." And, with that, Dani was gone.

Leaving Xavier with a sinking feeling that he'd just made a monumental mistake. And one he had no idea how to fix. "No, no, no," he muttered to himself.

Almost immediately he heard footsteps coming down the hallway, and he knew with a sinking heart it would be his new therapist.

She opened the door and, with a bright, cheerful look, stepped inside and greeted him. "Hey, Dani just told me that you're joining my team now. That's perfect. I'm all about teamwork."

And he hated her already. He groaned and asked, "What did Dani tell you?"

"Nothing." She frowned. "Why? Is there a problem?"

"Yeah, there's a problem. I need to be with Shane. Nothing against you."

"Well, it can't be against me," she noted, "because you don't even know who I am. But I can do just as good a job as Shane." She looked down at his chart and then shrugged. "Well, maybe not. Shane is definitely the one who specializes in your kind of injuries, but I'm sure Shane would consult for us."

"Which doesn't make any sense if I'm leaving Shane," he replied.

"And why would you be leaving Shane?" she asked curiously. "He's really good at what he does."

"Apparently," Xavier muttered, staring out the window. "I need to think about this."

"You don't have time," she stated. "We'll have our first session now, so let's get down to the gym and get started on your rehab work."

He glared at her. "No, that won't work out so well for me today."

She stopped in her tracks and frowned at him. "What?"

"I'm not feeling well," he said instantly, grasping at straws to get out of this session.

She hesitated. "I'm not so sure about what to do about that." She checked her schedule on her tablet and suggested, "I have an opening for you tomorrow morning. You think you'll be okay by then?"

"Sure. I'm certain I will be."

She tossed him a bright, sunny smile and said, "Perfect, we'll see you tomorrow morning then at nine." And she turned and walked out.

He crashed back on his bed, realizing that this was not what he wanted at all. But how was he supposed to fix this?