Chapter 12

Reed

“All right, we have pacifiers, dishes, diapers, training pants…”

With wide eyes, Jakob looked at the piles around us and winced a few times when he saw the price tags. “Stop that right now. I’ve been saving up for when I found a little to spoil. Even if you don’t love everything, it will be good to have options for when you have little friends. We can take the things that don’t end up working to the club for other littles to enjoy. Don’t look at the price tags.”

“This doesn’t feel fair.”

When he rolled his eyes, I quirked my eyebrow, and he backed down quickly. “But I do want to know more about this club later.”

“It is fair. You’ve got an insurance deductible in your future, and I want to do this.”

I knew Jakob wasn’t hard up for money, but that was beside the point. Sure, it was more my ego than anything, but I wanted to be the one who provided for my boy. I suspected there had been next to none when it came to frivolous just-because gifts in his life. Hell, if celebrating Christmas was a waste of time, maybe he hadn’t ever gotten gifts.

“Did your family do gifts for Christmas and birthdays?”

I asked nonchalantly.

“Sort of.”

“What does that mean?”

I occupied myself with straightening the training pants stacked on the modular storage unit next to us. I feared he’d clam up on me if I gave too much direct attention.

“We did get a gift or two. I think my parents mostly didn’t want the hassle of not having them. But they were always practical sorts of things. A new textbook or hygiene stuff, sometimes clothes, but never any of the fun kind. It was the same for birthdays. My parents have good careers and aren’t religious, so it wasn’t about that.”

“Love, your family confuses me. I don’t understand how not celebrating stuff was supposed to keep you focused. We all need breaks.”

“I think part of it was because I questioned so much.”

He shrugged. “It’s not like I would’ve believed in Santa Claus or the Tooth Fairy for long anyway. My brothers aren’t dumb or anything, but something flipped in my parents when they figured out I was a certified genius.”

Jakob whispered the last part like it was something to be ashamed of. “Once that happened, it was all about ensuring I lived up to my fullest potential, and nothing, even things like regular kid stuff or friends or siblings, was allowed to interfere with it. So there you go—the entire reason I’m a little in a nutshell.”

“Well, that works out pretty well for me.”

I gave Jakob another forehead kiss and then one on his nose because I could. “The last thing we need to get is some fun little clothes because boys should have fun stuff, right?”

“You’re r-r-r-right,”

Jakob said with his best tiger impression. “But I’d like to point out that I can buy my own clothes.”

“And I’d like to point out that I’ve already said doing it makes me happy.”

“You know, at some point, we are going to need to talk about rent and utilities and all that grown-up stuff people who are roommates should talk about.”

“That’s a conversation for another day. Today, we only have to figure out whether you want overalls and if they should be denim or cotton.”

With that, I pulled Jakob off the chair to go through the little clothes available at the store. He wouldn’t say yes to as much as I wanted him to, but I didn’t even ask when I saw the jockstrap with Papa’s Boy printed across the band. That one was coming home with us. We were having a heated discussion about how many shorts and play shirts were too many when the salesperson joined us.

“Gentlemen, it looks like you found plenty today,”

he said with a nod to our pile.

“Yes, but someone over here thinks play clothes aren’t needed,”

I responded with a finger wag in Jakob’s direction.

“Oh, absolutely, they are needed! Sure, getting into little space in regular adult clothes is possible, but it’s so much easier when your outsides match your insides.”

The salesperson paused. “Maybe the issue is that the options in this section aren’t quite your style?”

He opened a different wardrobe with a flourish.

“Ohhhh, those are pretty,”

sighed Jakob before he smacked his hand over his mouth to prevent any other wayward words from escaping.

“Aren’t they adorable?”

the assistant agreed. “There’s nothing unusual about preferring non-stereotypical choices while in little space. We like to provide options for all our customers.”

It was obvious Jakob desperately wanted to take a closer look at the options but rocked back and forth on his heels in a bid to keep himself away from them.

“Thanks so much for showing us these. My boy and I will take a look.”

There was no mistaking the heat in Jakob’s eyes at my label for him. Yeah, it was early, but this thing was a relationship. Logic said to slow down and pace ourselves, but fuck that. I wanted to revel in it.

When we were alone again, I pulled out options in pinks, purples, and light greens. Jakob smiled at the flowers and the delicate colors. He traced the patterns of the teapots and cups with puppies and kittens. When I showed him the rainbow mermen and their fishy friends, he nearly squealed with excitement.

“Jakob, do you like these outfits better?”

“Papa, I’m not supposed to like these.”

“Why not?”

I took a deep breath before I asked my next question. I knew before I said it that we were about to get into some gendered bullshit about being girly. “Did someone say you’re not allowed to like them?”

“Maybe.”

“That’s bullshit. If pink makes you happy, wear pink. If you want lace, wear lace. It’s just clothes or makeup or whatever. Do what makes you happy.”

Jakob looked at the options before pulling out a lavender onesie with tiny flowers that was cut for a man’s shape. “Do you like this one?”

“Do you like it?”

Jakob’s tentative smile was all I needed to see. “I think you do, and we’re getting it.”

Jakob’s small smile turned beaming. He surged forward and wrapped himself around me in a tight squeeze. “Papa, it’s the prettiest thing I’ve ever had.”

I wrapped my arms around him and squeezed him just as tight. I’d buy him a million flowered onesies if it meant I could see that much happiness in him. By the time we were done with this section, I had an enthusiastic Jakob who’d found all sorts of cute options. His little preferences ran toward soft clothing in even softer colors.

Once I saw his enthusiasm for the new options, I wondered what a playroom for him would look like. It would need a tea set, but maybe he’d like an English garden theme where he could have all the pretty colors and flowers around him. He wasn’t a truck and spaceship boy, but rather a sunshine and woodland creature sort. Lucky for me, a friend from the local kink club was a commercial designer who took on private clients as a side gig. It would be impossible to get everything set up by Christmas, but maybe I could speak to Owen about finding time after the new year.

The sales guy was damn good at his job because he magically appeared as we were wrapping up our choices. The pile in front of us was too big to carry into the next store, so I planned to troop back out to the car to stow it away and then go to the next shop.

“Excellent! You found a few things, after all. Did you need me to check on any sizes?”

“We did, thank you. The sizing was fine,”

I answered him.

Next, he turned to Jakob and asked, “And what’s your favorite thing you found today?”

His tone was kind and sweet, like a favorite teacher talking to a little one on the playground.

Jakob blushed beet red and smoothed his hand over the flowered lavender onesie. “It’s this one. I think it’s the prettiest.”

“Oh, that is such a good choice. It’s one of my favorites too. It makes me want to drink tea and eat fancy sandwiches.”

Jakob rewarded him with another smile but didn’t say anything more. It was a surprise to see Jakob’s interactions with other people and how shy he truly was. Just talking to the salesperson had him tongue-tied and halfway hiding behind me. The blush that stained his cheeks hadn’t faded in the least. What wasn’t clear to me was whether he was shy by nature or if his parents’ enforced isolation had made him that way. Either way, the only effect it had on me was the overwhelming desire to keep him close and protected.

“Did you want to take this with you or have it delivered?”

“Delivered, please. My address is on file under the name on the card.”

I handed over the credit card so he could run it. “I think we’re okay to leave this here. Did you want to see other parts of the store?”

Jakob’s blush deepened, and I couldn’t help but chuckle. His reactions were the best. I led him out of the little section to tour the rest of the store.

Jakob bounced from display to display, looking at all the items. He thought the pet tails and collars were cute and tried on a few ears and masks. The canes and whips were skipped over. Explaining cock cages ended up as a discussion of the physiological workings of the penis. It wasn’t a conversation I’d ever imagined having in a kink store, but it was very Jakob, and he was so enthusiastic about it. I didn’t have the heart to remind him I was a doctor and had some understanding of how the human body worked.

“Gentlemen, I have you squared away,”

the salesperson interrupted while Jakob looked at the cock rings. “Is there anything else you’d like to add to your order?”

“No, thank you,”

Jakob rushed to answer before I could say anything. I didn’t have anything specific to add, but I was curious about his reaction. After returning my card and accepting my cash tip, the salesperson headed off to pack up our selections.

“You said no kinda quick. You sure you don’t want to try anything?”

“Papa, I’m pretty sure you’ve figured out I don’t have, uh, much experience,”

he answered in a loud whisper.

“Yeah, I figured that out when you said you didn’t know if you liked blowjobs,”

I answered in an equally low voice.

“Well, shouldn’t I figure out if I like sex before I add in toys?”

“They aren’t mutually exclusive. You can try both.”

I tried hard to control myself, but my booming laugh burst out, and Jakob fumed a little.

“Papa! Stop laughing. I’m serious.”

“So am I,”

I answered when I got myself under control. “But that’s a conversation for another day. We have a few more stops to make, and I think you’ll really like this next one.”

#

“Oh, oh, oh, Papa, look at it! It’s so pretty!”

Jakob gave up all pretense of chill when we meandered down the pedestrian walkway to the toy store. His blond curls bounced as he rocked on his heels in excitement. One window displayed animatronic elves in Santa’s workshop, hurrying to finish making the toys. The window display details were planned right down to the cup of cocoa steaming on the workbench. In the other window, Santa sat in his office while he went through the mechanized naughty or nice list. Mice in festive caps had a tea party on the shelf behind him and a shiny-nosed reindeer poked his head through the open window. “What is this place?”

“It might be the best toy store outside of New York City, but I haven’t been to that one, so I can’t say for sure.”

Jakob excitedly clutched my hand and tugged my arm to show me another part of the display he’d noticed. His joy and excitement warmed me more than I’d ever felt with another person. At my age, maybe it was foolish to believe in insta-love, but damned if I wasn’t teetering on the edge of it.

“Papa, can we go inside, please? Pretty please?”

“We didn’t come all this way to turn around, love. Let’s see what they have.”

With his hand firmly tucked in mine, I pushed open the heavy wooden door. From the look on Jakob’s face, the oceans parted and the angels sang. The store was heavily decorated for the holidays, and everywhere was something more to see. Jakob stepped aside so others could get past him but stayed rooted at the front of the store and soaked it all in. Garlands hung from the ceilings, adorned with lights and Christmas ornaments. The speakers piped in cheery carols about hippopotamuses.

When I heard his gasp, I knew he’d seen the dais in the corner of the store. Up on the raised platform was an intricately carved double-seat chair with tufted red velvet. From there, Santa was able to survey the entire bottom floor of the toy store. Costumed elves helped organize the children waiting to tell Santa their wish and get a photo with him.

“Jakob, have you ever gotten a picture with Santa?”

“Nooooo,”

Jakob said in a low, reverent tone.

“Everyone needs a picture with Santa at least once in their life. Let’s go.”

I took his hand again and wound our way through the store. There’d be plenty of time to look at the toys afterward, but the line wasn’t likely to get any smaller. We might be the oldest ones in line, but I didn’t give a damn. Jakob needed a picture with Santa, and he would get one on my watch.

“Papa, is it okay if we do this?”

he murmured against my ear.

“Why wouldn’t it be okay?”

“Because I might be little, but I’m not a kid. What if they kick us out of line?”

Jakob’s worried tone was too much.

“There is no age limit on Santa Claus or the holidays. If someone doesn’t like it, that’s on them. It’s not my problem, or yours, to worry about.”

Jakob looked unconvinced, but I drew him closer for a hug. Once he was tucked in close, I whispered in his ear, “The only thing Papa needs you to do right now is think about what you want to ask Santa to bring you for Christmas. Can you do that for me?”

“Yes, Papa,”

he whispered back. I kept him close as we shuffled our way through the line.