15. Cannon

"She seems extra feisty,"Doc muttered as I closed the door behind Kezia.

"The only pack decent to her in that fucked up Anterrio Pack were Bales's twins and the shaman," Nikan defended her as I knew he would. "She's loyal. I mouthed off about that prick Landon, and she bit my head off too."

That got my attention. Curious, I asked him, "What did you say?" My brother's head dipped, and I exchanged a look with Doc. "Nikan?"

He shrugged. "I brought up the whole, you know, she-knew-you-were-mates thing and I didn't, and she knew I liked her?—"

"Did she?"

Nikan snorted. "No. She told me she thought I was just like Landon." He sighed. "I wasn't very complimentary about him, and her protective side kicked in."

"For Landon?"

Nikan gave me a wry smile. "That's what I said."

"Huh." I thought about it. They were friends before he lied about her being his mate. When she went into her heat that day in her pack, he had tried to claim her, but it wasn't as a mate. It was like he was a spoiled child wanting to play with a toy first before anyone else. Every male knew sex with a female during her heat was wild. Idiot youths who didn't know sex was just as good and could be as wild with any woman if you knew how to please her, wanted to bed a female in heat for the "experience."

Seems Landon was as much of a dick as I thought he was.

I turned my attention to Doc. "I told you the herbs the shaman gave her made no difference."

He shrugged. "It was worth a try."

"She doesn't need to be wound up and agitated about things we can't control," I told them, finally taking a seat. "I need her to relax. I need her to let the wolf out so I can find out what the fuck is happening inside her and to let her wretched heat finally surface and move her out of this constant limbo that she's been in for months." Glaring at a bookshelf, I thought of all the things that needed to happen for Kezia to finally let control slip. "I can't help her if she keeps fighting herself."

"You could try telling her that?" Doc suggested.

"She's impossible to talk to." I pointed at the doors where she had just left through. "You've spoken to her." Shaking my head in exasperation, I looked at them both. "I've interrogated terrorists across enemy lines more easily than trying to have a conversation with her."

"You should maybe try talking rather than trying to get her clothes off," Nikan snarked.

"Her clothes come off easily," I bit back at him. "It's getting them to stay on that's the problem." I saw his cheeks flush and kicked myself. It wasn't my intention to rub it in his face that she was mine. Honestly, it would be better if she wasn't.

Would it?

I ignored that question. I'd been ignoring that question for a very long time, it felt.

"We could drug her?"

I gaped at Doc, my wolf prowling closer to the surface. "What the fuck?"

Doc rubbed the back of his head. "She's highly strung, you said it yourself. She's spinning too many plates. To get her to relax, properly relax, we could drug her."

"The humans call that assault," I snarled at him, shoving off my seat. "They'd be right."

"Be serious, Cannon." Doc's exasperation was riding close to the surface too. "You have her in your pack. Her brother's informed the Pack Council that she killed three men, human men, and we know she doesn't know how she did it. She's immune to silver. We need inside her head, and if you are right and she is somehow separate from her wolf, we need to know how and why."

I watched my friend as he spoke, seeing the gleam in his eye at the possibility of studying something new.

Only Kezia wasn't a project.

She wasn't a science experiment.

She was a nineteen-year-old wolf who needed protection. Protection I could give her.

"Leave it alone for now," I told him. Casting my eyes to the ceiling, I let out a low exhale. "It's enough for now. I'm going to go to bed. You can see your way out."

Nikan rose, saying nothing about the fact I was retiring so early. "Will you lock the door?" he asked. "It's not just you in the house anymore."

My door had never been locked since I was alpha. Not that my pack had a habit of walking into my home in the middle of the night. But…Kezia was under my roof.

"Yes. Probably best."

Doc misinterpreted completely. "At least a lock on the front door will wake you if she tries to run."

Nikan opened his mouth to correct him, but I shot him a warning look. "Absolutely," I agreed.

"Although if she ran, at least we'd have a chance to catch the wolf," Doc speculated as he headed to the door, and I knocked my brother's arm to stop him from grabbing Doc and probably punching him. Or maybe I was the only one who wanted to punch him, and reaching out to my brother was the way to stop me from following through.

I waited until they were gone and locked the door behind them. The simple act of securing my house seemed against everything I stood for since I killed my father to free this pack from his tyranny. I could practically see the sneer on his face at the fact I was changing my ways for a female.

"It's not a constant change, it's an adaptation while she's here," I reminded myself.

I made a quick round of the house, making sure it was secure before I climbed the stairs. The phrase while she's here repeated like a mantra through my head. We both said we wanted to break the bond. I knew putting distance between us was bullshit. Luna created mates for her alphas to bring balance to the pack. To balance the alpha, the strongest and best provider for the pack, he needed an equally strong female to support him. A mate to produce strong heirs and keep the alpha line going.

It was survival of the species at its most basic. Shifters needed alphas, and alphas needed a mate.

Outside her bedroom door, I hesitated. I could hear her breathing, light, uneven, restless. In the cell, she had slept the same way, her mind resisting the lull of a deep sleep, keeping her on edge. Keeping the wolf from taking over. I needed her to surrender, but I also feared it.

With her guard down completely, how was I supposed to keep away from her? Knowing she was vulnerable.

Pushing the door open, I stood in the doorway, watching her sleep. Kezia's hair was splayed out over the pillow, and her face turned away from the door towards the window. The blanket was at her waist, her arms free, one raised over her head.

Even though she wasn't in a deep sleep, she looked peaceful. Closing the door behind me, I went to my room. She didn't need to wake up and see me leering at her like that fucker Landon would.

I needed her to feel safe here. I needed her to learn to trust me.

Taking a seat at the edge of my bed, I dropped my head into my hands. How did I fix this? I could try talking to her. She was prickly, but she was intelligent. Too smart sometimes, but she knew what was at stake more than any of us.

She was also nineteen.

"Age means nothing. We're not human; stop hearing Royce in your head," I berated myself. A good half of my pack served overseas. Royce was one of them. Female shifters had their heat to contend with, males had their aggression.

There was no better way for a male shifter feeling restless and aggressive to get that driven out of him than by fighting in the military.

Discipline. Hard work. Training.

It alleviated the spikes of aggression. However, too much time spent among humans also skewed perspectives. With two daughters of his own, Royce fixated on the age difference. There were two years between Hannah and him, and he viewed my age difference with Kezia as an issue.

It was only an issue if we made it one.

A mate was a mate. Luna chose them for a reason.

Getting to my feet, I pulled my shirt off. "It's not like I'm going to make her call me daddy," I grumbled and then groaned as my cock perked up. "No," I growled. "You're not jerking off in the shower again."

Five minutes later, I was jerking off in the shower, remembering the sweet taste of my mate as she squirmed under my tongue. With more self-disgust than usual, I got out of the shower and was toweling myself off when I heard the creak in the hall.

Throwing open my bedroom door, I startled Kezia, causing her to jump.

"What the fuck are you wearing?"

She looked down at her tank top and panties. "This is what I sleep in."

"No." My blood was heating again. Pinching the bridge of my nose, I forced my mind to unsee her dressed in so little. "Why are you up?"

"I heard water running," she mumbled. "It made me want to pee."

I looked at her over my fingers, seeing her looking me over, her teeth caught on the bottom corner of her lip.

"You're in a towel." A finger pointed at the towel on my hips. "You can't bitch at me for wearing this…at least I have clothes on."

"You have underwear on."

"It's more than you."

"This is your first night here. We can't do this if we intend to stay away from each other," I reminded her. "Get more clothes."

"Same."

We glared at each other.

I saw the minute her glare turned from heated to something much worse. Desire. "Kezia…"

"I know," she whispered, backing away. "Did you get those locks?"

"Do you see them?" I bit out in irritation. "Just…just close the door." Her door closed quickly, and back in my room, I counted to five to stop myself from following her into hers. Making the decision, I dropped the towel, pulled on a pair of sweatpants, and shoved my feet into my sneakers. I needed to get out of the house, or we'd never make it through the night.

With a shirt in hand, I opened the door and found her in the middle of the hall, wide-eyed and her cheeks flushed. Had she been heading to my room?

"I didn't go to the bathroom," she told me apologetically. She frowned when she saw what I was wearing. "Are you leaving?"

"I have an errand to run." If I clamped my jaw any tighter, my teeth may break. I could smell her arousal. She was killing me.

"At night?" Suspicion entered her eyes. "An errand or Koda?"

"Don't insult both of us with stupidity, pup."

"Then where are you going?"

I looked at her in bewilderment. How did she not know? "I can smell you, Kezia. You're aroused. I'm aroused. I want to fuck you so badly that I can't be here. Not if you want to wake up tomorrow still a virgin."

Her eyes were like saucers. "Sex completes the bond."

"Mm-hmm."

"You don't want the bond." She looked at me and then I felt the pain as her heart rate spiked and something caused her to double over. "Argh!"

Leaping forward, I grabbed her. "Kezia?"

And I scented it.

All around us.

Suffocating my senses.

"Your heat." Fuck, not now.

Kezia clung to me. "Cannon! Oh Luna, it hurts."

Cradling her closer, I tucked her head under my chin. "I know, I feel it." She'd just become the wolf equivalent of catnip. Lips pressed to the crown of her head. My alpha senses picked up the sound of movement from outside. "Is your window open?" I asked tersely.

"Yes."

Fuck.

Kezia pushed herself away from me as another wave of pain wracked her body. "Take me to the cell," she commanded. "You need to protect them."

"From you?"

"From you, Alpha." Slowly she got to her feet. "They're in more danger from you now that the mate bond is waiting for us to complete it."

"It means I'll need to take you through the town." She stumbled and I reached for her to steady her. The contact was electrifying. "Or…"

Kezia looked up at me, both of us reaching for the other at the same time. Our mouths melded together as I pushed her against the wall, dipping slightly to grab her ass and hoist her up, relishing the feel as her legs wrapped around my waist.

Kezia tore her mouth away from mine as another cramp surged through her. "Cannon," she whimpered.

Pressing my forehead against hers, I tried to fight the urge to claim her. "Tell me what to do." My fingers dug into her skin. "I can't think, pup. I need inside you." My muscles tightened as I strained against the pull to give in to the call of her body, my head burrowing into the crook of her neck. "Tell me what to do," I whispered against her skin.

"The cells. Get Royce. You said we need this to pass." Kezia pushed against me. Her legs lowered as she tried to stand. I moved back slightly to give her room and watched as the beads of sweat formed on her brow as her limbs shook. "I'm fighting the urge to shift." She inhaled deeply, her hands reaching for me before she stopped herself. "I'm fighting a lot of urges." She took a deep breath to calm herself. "We get this one out of the way, we'll be better. Right?"

I had no idea. It sounded good at the time, but now, seeing her in pain, I was no longer sure about any of it.

Royce. My alpha power called to him. He was alert instantly. It's happening. I need you.

I heard his reply, and I wrapped my arms around the woman in front of me. "Hold on. Can you hold on?"

"Yes." She took a deep breath, inhaling my scent. "No?"

I chuckled as we both sank to the floor. "I can't let you go," I explained. "I want to, I know we need to, but…it's like…I can't not touch you," I murmured, holding her tighter.

"You're not in control," Kezia whispered, her lips pressing into my chest. She let out a whimper. "It hurts."

"I know." I took a deep breath. "I can feel it."

Kezia's head tilted back as she looked up at me. "You can? That's…freaky."

"Tell me about it." I winced as her body curled up in agony. "It's okay," I soothed her, stroking her hair. "It's okay."

"I don't understand how sex works."

I hesitated. "Is this the right time for a birds and the bees conversation?" I teased, latching on to anything that distracted me from her. She elbowed me.

"Asshole. I mean, everything hurts." She moved further onto the floor, curling up in a ball, and I was curled around her. "How would it even happen when I'm being a human pretzel?"

"How would what happen?"

"You know—" Her whole body tensed as more pain erupted within her. Kezia was gasping. "Penetration," she ground out.

"Now?" I tried to joke but it fell flat. "You're not focusing on the fact that you would be feeling other things." My voice was gruff. Heavy with want and need. Every part of me wanted to not be fighting the pull to her.

"Is it hard for you?"

"I'm sure you can feel that it is," I muttered.

Kezia gasped as another bolt of pain went through her. "I want a deer."

"I'll get you one."

"Two."

"Greedy." My lips skimmed her neck, my tongue flicking at her scar.

"What if we half did it, would it be better?"

Her naivety made me chuckle. "I don't do things by halves."

"Selfish."

My fingers traced over her stomach, and her moan caused my body to erupt in goose bumps. "Don't moan, I'm barely hanging on," I pleaded, my body pressing into hers.

"I'm sorry." She moved her head to look at me, and I saw the tears on her cheeks.

"Not much longer," I promised.

"She could come out, make it stop," Kezia whispered.

"No. You need this. I know it's a dick thing for me to say, but you need to get through this." Did she? I hoped Doc was right.

"I'm here," Royce said as he approached slowly. "Hannah too."

I snarled at the male coming for my mate, and my wolf took over. The shift was so sudden I had no control over it.

"Alpha," Hannah spoke as she stepped in front of the male. "I need to take her. She's in pain."

Looking down, I saw her on the floor. My head dipped, and I nudged her head softly.

"You're really huge," she said through chattering teeth. "Of course, you would be. I knew you were, but up close, you're stupid sized."

Help her.

Hannah rushed forward, and Kezia used my friend's support to get to her feet. When Royce stepped forward to help, I blocked his path.

"I'm not touching her," he assured me, backing off.

Leaping forward, I blocked the female coming up my stairs, my teeth bared.

"Easy, Alpha," Willy said. "Girl's in heat, towns going into a frenzy, you need another female here."

Forcing myself to change, I turned away from them all. "Royce!"

"Get yourself some new pants," he suggested, and I took the out he gave me, barricading myself in my room on the pretense I was covering my nudity from a shifter who had helped raise me.

Kezia cried out and my fist went through a wall.

"She's fighting hard," I heard Willy say softly. "It's because she's mated," she told them as I heard them begin to move away. "Won't be easy for her to go through this alone, without her mate here."

She wasn't without him.

I was here.

Hiding.

Because we didn't want this.

Another jolt of her pain had me on my knees. "Fuck," I hissed as I fought off the roll of agony in my gut.

We didn't want this. This was the right thing to do.

The next wave of agony rolled over me as I fought the mating call, bringing me low to the floor. Flames of pain lashed across my body as the need to be with her grew stronger.

"Luna!" Curled in a ball on my bedroom floor, my hands over my head to protect myself as it felt like blow after blow kept raining down on me. "Goddess, please!"

The next stab of pain made me see stars.

"Alpha?"

I recognized Royce's wary call. "She's in the cell. You need to come, keep her in her human form."

Lifting my head, I looked at him. "I can't," I said through gritted teeth. "I'll be too close."

"Her brother?" Royce suggested, but I was already shaking my head.

"Too far." With a groan, I pushed myself to my feet. "Keep everyone away. No one can see it affecting me like this." With stilted movements, I pulled on a shirt. What felt like a punch to the stomach had me staggering. "How the fuck is she standing through this," I muttered.

"She isn't," Royce told me, frowning. "She's in agony," he added, realizing too late that he shouldn't have spoken so carelessly.

The need to protect her and be with her nearly overrode the control I had of my wolf. Barely hanging onto my human form, I bolted down the stairs and across town with complete disregard for what my reaction would look like to my pack.

I heard Royce shouting behind me, but I didn't pay any heed.

All that mattered to me was my mate. She needed me, and I wasn't there.