16. Kezia

I was in the dark,on the familiar cot, my body folded in on itself as wave after wave of pain washed over me. Under the excruciating pain, almost as prominent as the agony I was in, was the hunger.

Hunger to hunt.

Hunger to eat.

Hunger to fuck.

The need for the latter was almost as unbearable as the pain. Everywhere was pain. As we had raced through the town, the light had stabbed at my eyes, and too many smells overwhelmed my senses. Now in the cell, I had only one thought.

Where was he?

I needed him. Luna, I needed him.

The throb between my legs was unlike anything I had felt before. I needed his hands on my skin, his clever fingers stroking between my legs. I needed that wicked mouth on me, lapping and licking…feasting on me.

I was aware of the others in the room with me. I'd heard one of them comment on my familiarity with the cell, but they'd been hushed quickly.

There was a male nearby. I could sense him. He wasn't the male I needed, and it was pissing me off that he wasn't.

My body only wanted one male.

"Where is he?" I gasped between the mix of pain and longing. A familiar scent moved forward. "Hannah?"

"It's me," Royce's wife confirmed. "Landon is with your pack," she spoke softly.

"I don't give a fuck where Landon is. Where is he?"

Hannah moved closer. "Landon is with your pack."

This time through my pain, I heard the slight emphasis on Landon's name. He was my pretend mate. My cover story for the fact that the mate I did have didn't want me.

"I need…" I groaned as the need in my core intensified.

"I know," Hannah murmured sympathetically. "We're going to leave you?—"

"Why the hell are you leaving me?" I demanded, my head lifting. I wasn't meant to be alone, was I? "I have to be watched." Didn't I? Wasn't there a reason I was not shifting?

"We thought you may need some alone time." I could hear the small quiver of embarrassment. "We understand the urges, but we're not, um, mated. I can only imagine how bad it is for you."

Had I not been rocking from side to side in pain, curled up in a ball, I may have blushed at the realization that they were giving me privacy to take care of some of my more urgent intimate desires. Rolling onto my front, I pressed my head into the thin mattress, groaning when it did nothing but remind me of the few times the alpha—my alpha—had been close to me on this cot. Kissing me. Touching me. Wanting me.

"I need him, Hannah!"

I heard movement, and when I looked, I sensed that Hannah was as close to the bars as possible. "I know," she whispered quickly. "I'm so sorry, Kezia, but you know why he isn't here."

I did.

I knew.

He rejected me.

With a roar, I was on my feet. Anger laced my already heated veins. My claws broke free of my skin, but with effort that caused me to scream out in more hurt, I pushed my wolf back.

No! You will not come forward.

You are in pain, child. Amber eyes watched me. Let me heal you. Like I always do.

No. I will do this. I can get through this.

She shook her head at me, a look full of reproach as she faded back. You cannot fight me forever, child.

"I can damn well try," I muttered as everything I had been feeling previously ratcheted up tenfold.

His scent covered me. Wrapping around me like a warm blanket, dampening some needs and hunger, intensifying others. Wildly I looked for him, sensing him near the doorway, grateful for the momentary lapse in the agony I'd been fighting.

"Cannon," I breathed his name in relief.

"Everyone out." His command was one of an alpha. His pack wouldn't go against it, but I knew one still lingered. "I won't go in, Hannah," I heard him assure the female.

Won't go in? Into my cell? He was here and he wouldn't come in? Anger rushed back.

"Because I'm not good enough?" I snarled, hearing the door close.

"You know why, Kezia." I heard him walking towards me, and then he was in front of the cell. I could make out his silhouette in the darkness, wolf sight so much more powerful than human's.

"Why are we in darkness?" I inched forward, eager to be closer.

"They said the light was causing you discomfort."

"Everything right now is causing me discomfort." I huffed. "You're doing it right now by being on the wrong side of the bars." My fingers grazed his, and I heard his sharp inhale.

"Kezia." He said my name with a groan. Like he was in pain. Did it hurt that he wasn't in here? Inside me? Fucking me. Claiming me?

"I need you." I pressed forward, the bars immovable but with enough space that my arms slipped through. My hands were on his chest, touching, stroking, exploring. "I need you so badly."

"I know," Cannon sounded as desperate as I did. "I can't get in."

My fingers stopped their exploration. "Can't? Why?"

"I made them change the code," he told me, one hand reaching through and taking hold of my hip, pulling me tighter into the bars. "I also made them lock the door to the room. On a timer. It's just you and me, pup."

"No." I stepped back, jerking out of his hold. "No!" I yelled. "You're here but you're not here!" I screamed in fury. "I need you in here! With me." I felt him reaching for me, and I jumped back, out of his limited reach. "You don't get to fucking touch me," I seethed in anger. "You bastard. You fucking bastard, I need you."

"I'm here." I could hear the pain in his voice, the devastation of the hurt he was causing me.

I didn't care.

"You're not here," I snarled. "You're a coward." I ripped my tank top over my head, throwing it to the side. My panties followed, and with no regard for modesty, I plunged my hand between my legs. The groan at touching myself made Cannon whimper.

"Kezia." The strain was there.

Good.

If I was suffering, so was he.

"I'm soaked," I told him, rubbing against that small bundle of nerves that was ruling my body. "I've never been like this."

"I can smell you," Cannon ground out. I heard a thump.

"The bars are impenetrable," I mocked him. "You can't get in." I smiled with malice when I heard the thump again. The sound of an alpha trying to get into a cage to be with his mate.

"Your scent." The need in his voice almost brought me to my knees. Sitting on the cot, I spread my legs wide. My fingers stroked me with easy familiarity. "Fuck, Kezia."

"You can't fuck Kezia, though, can you?" I sneered, tipping my head back against the bars as I played with myself. The fact I was making Cannon ache as I was aching only heightened my pleasure.

"Put your fingers inside yourself." His voice was guttural with desire. "Let me hear how wet you are."

I did as I was told, the moan I let out causing another thump against the bars.

"Get over here."

The command was dominant. The alpha's Will pressed around me, and I was on my feet. Strong hands grabbed my arm, and bringing my hand to his mouth, Cannon licked my fingers clean hungrily.

"Spread your legs and don't fucking move," he growled, kneeling in front of the bars. His hands reached through the bars, restricted in movement due to the horizontal bar that ran across the cell. He tilted my pelvis forward, almost causing me to lose my balance, but I grabbed the bars quickly, crying out in relief when I felt his tongue sweep over my flesh.

"This will get uncomfortable quickly," I told him, pushing myself into the bars and using my strength to manipulate my body so Cannon's mouth could reach as much of my center as possible. It wasn't enough, the strokes were light and limited because he couldn't fully reach me the way he wanted to. The bars restricted so much of our movement, and it must have hurt like hell against his face, but still, none of it mattered when the first orgasm rippled through me.

I sagged slightly in relief, but although the need abated slightly, I could feel it already coming back.

"We're not finished," Cannon assured me, his hand on my right hip gripping me tightly. "I'll eat this pussy all night, Kezia. I am here for you."

I could have wept as his mouth and fingers went back to pleasuring me. It was so good, and I needed so much more, but it was enough to stop the relentless craving that had been inside of me.

What must have been hours later, my sexual desires for the moment dulled. I lay on the floor of the cell, with Cannon lying beside me, as close as the bars allowed. Our fingers were touching. It wasn't enough, but we were making it be enough.

"You promised me deer," I said, breaking the silence of the last few minutes.

"I promised you two."

"You broke your promise."

His low chuckle made me smile. "The deer are here," he told me. "I just forgot to take them in with me. You mess with my head when you smell like this," he admitted. His hand moved from mine, and I heard him grip the bar. "Not sure how I would get them through this either. Probably best if they're not here."

"I thought I would be hungrier," I admitted. "Like the other times, when all I want is to eat."

He moved slightly. "Me being here satiates the other needs."

Sniffing, I wished I could elbow him as I recognized the truth in his words. "No need to sound so smug." I heard movement. "What are you doing?" I asked curiously.

"Massaging feeling back into my jaw," he told me lightly. "And my nose. Cheeks. Face."

Embarrassment flooded me. "Sorry."

"Don't be, it's the least I can do."

You could have done so much more.

It hung unspoken in the air between us.

"Do you think the Pack Council knows about me yet?" I hurriedly changed the subject. "Do they warn us before they arrive?"

"They're not the enemy, Kezia."

"Not to you, they're not." The sullenness of my tone betrayed my inner fear.

"Nor to you."

"Says the man who hasn't killed three humans." I moved onto my side, facing him in the darkness through the bars. I heard him do the same, my wolf sight making out some of his silhouette in the dark. "You have nothing to fear."

"Not true," he murmured. "If they take you…"

Unexpected tears welled at his admission, and I sniffed them back. "You don't want this bond," I reminded him, my voice barely a whisper.

"Nor do you," Cannon muttered.

"I don't know what I want," I admitted, the darkness giving me a sense of security.

"Why am I not surprised," he replied lightly. His hand was near mine again, and he tugged on my fingers. "Come closer," Cannon whispered.

I maneuvered myself as close as physically possible to the bars. Lips brushed mine, and I longed for more. His tongue traced over my bottom lip before he kissed me lightly once more, the bars impeding anything more. I could smell and taste my scent on his mouth, and my wolf grumbled with satisfaction.

"She's happy you smell of me," I confessed against his lips.

"I wish you smelled of me."

I whimpered as the desire returned.

"Shh," Cannon soothed me, his lips searching for mine once more. "This is what we want."

Pulling away, I once again fought back tears. "I know. Why be mated to a killer, right?" Sitting up, I pushed myself to my feet, retreating to the cot.

"Kezia—"

"I'm in control," I spoke over him abruptly. "Still in heat. The needs, the hunger, they're still here. But if you needed me weakened, like you have before, it's now. Do it now. My control is weak. She may be able to answer your questions."

I felt the change in him as he moved swiftly to his feet. "We can wait."

I knew he was offering me a kindness. "She's ready to come forward." My hands formed fists on my thighs. "If…" I swallowed hard. "If I don't come back, make her give me control back."

I heard his sharp intake of breath, my admission catching him off guard. "I will."

"Promise me," I whispered in the darkness, my head turned away from him. Even though he couldn't see me, I didn't want to admit anything with him facing me. "I don't want to be lost, Cannon."

I heard him move forward, hands gripping the bars tightly. "You will never be lost," he told me. "I will always find you."

A few tears spilled over, and I let them fall. Cannon couldn't see me, and I no longer cared enough to hide them. "Her name is Moonstar."

* * *

The child finally slept. With care, we sank into her body, rose from the bed, and stretched. It had been so long since we stretched.

"You're still human?"

"Are any of us in this room human, Alpha?"

"I thought you would shift," he admitted.

We could hear his heart racing. "Would it please you more if we were on four legs rather than two?"

"I don't know," he told me, and we could scent his honesty.

"We will shift when your questions are done. Or when we no longer wish to answer."

"Who is we?"

We smiled. "We are."

"Where is Kezia?"

"She sleeps." We shrugged as we sat back down. "Is this why you prowl so close to us, to know where she is?"

"Who are you?"

"Who are any of us?" We heard his huff of anger, and we smiled. "If you do not like our answers, ask us better questions."

"You are separate from the wolf spirit?" he asked carefully.

We nodded. "We are. The wolf is strong though, much stronger than you think."

"Moonstar?" His words were hesitant. Unsure. "That is your name?"

"It is a name we answer to." We lifted our hair from our shoulders, a finger tracing the scar that burned. "It burned."

"What burned?" We heard him moving closer. We heard him muttering about lights, and we watched with amusement when he stepped back at the ball of light that appeared in our hand. "How?"

"You shapeshift so easily," we teased, sending the small ball of energy into the air above us, "but a little magic frightens you." We looked him up and down, admiring his strength. "You are worthy of her. Strong, like she is."

"What are you?" He looked confused and then fearful. "Luna?"

We laughed. "We are no Goddess, Alpha." We stood. "The little she thinks you reject her." We narrowed our gaze on the male. "It hurts her."

He licked his lips, understanding the warning. "And you do not like it when she's hurt."

"She has felt enough pain in her life. She will feel more."

Anger filled him, he stepped forward automatically to protect his mate. "If you hurt her?—"

"We've protected her for a long time." Our hand moved to the back of our neck.

His cleverness watched us from behind his eyes. "How long?"

"The burn came first," we told him. "The pain we felt with the imposter, Bale." We shuddered. "The burn came again from the humans who beat us, used us," we spoke and met his stare. "We killed them too quickly for what they did to us."

His face was pale. We could smell his panic and fear. "She said they never got that far." The male looked wary once more. "She said they never raped her." Eyes wet with softness looked at us. "Did they?"

"We took them before they did," we answered fiercely. "Bones they had broken, cuts they made on our flesh. Knives stuck so deep they lodged in our bones." We remembered the pain. "You should thank us they are dead. We killed them too quickly."

"Does she know? How bad it was?" he asked, and we were pleased with his fury. "What those fuckers did to her?"

"We keep it from her."

"Thank you."

We watched the male curiously. "You are grateful she does not know?"

"Yes." He inhaled deeply. "I am more grateful than I can tell you."

We sniffed the air once. "We can tell."

"The burn?" he asked, moving forward. "You mean the silver bullets?"

Anger flared within us. Our fingers wrapped around the bars and pulled, the bars bending easily. We saw the male's shock, but we did not care. Crossing the distance to him, we lifted him off the ground by his throat. "You burned us."

"To see what would happen. I knew you would not die. I needed to know if she could survive silver."

He was not panicked. He was not scared. Curious, we dropped him. "It burns. Do not do it again."

"It kills others," he said, rubbing his throat. "It kills our kind. Not you."

"Or the brother," we confirmed. "We made both survive."

Looking around, we wanted to leave. It was time to run once more.

"How long?" the male asked. "How long did it take for them to come back? From the burning that first time? Months? Years?"

We thought about it. "We do not know months or years."

"How many snows came?"

We understood. "Three? Four?"

"What do you want from her?" he asked as we crossed to the door.

"Everything."

"She's mine," he told us, anger riding him. "You cannot have her."

Arrogant. Entitled. Foolish.

We turned to him. "She's always been ours." With a sharp pull, the door opened, and we changed form. The familiar wolfskin made us quicker.

Moonstar!

The command was strong, almost strong enough to stop us. But we remembered from before. The male would not hurt his mate. We ran towards the exit, eager to be free.

Moonstar! Stop.

The alpha's Will commanded us. Paws no longer ran. We fought for control. Pain as we fought him draped over our skin.

He was behind us. His voice in our head.

Let her go, he spoke. Stay in this form and let her go.

An alpha's Will pressed down on us. Not any alpha. An alphamate.

Turning, trapped in this form, our teeth bared in a growl. Ready to fight.

The black wolf approached us, eyes full of the power of his kind.

Sleep now, Moonstar.