40. Chapter Forty

Chapter Forty

Sage

I quickly wipe my tears as it falls. I've been rereading all of Liam's letters all day. It's our last week in Italy, but ever since I said we were back to no speaking terms at the arcade, he's been sending me actual letters. Everything has been nearly the same between us other than that, but with every letter, my heart sinks for him. I hate that he's suffering, but I am, too, and when I remember he's the reason for my pain, I continue to ignore him.

When I hear my door opening, I'm pulled out of my thoughts and touch up my makeup.

"You look hot."

I glance at Moon in the mirror, and he nods like he's agreeing with himself.

"Thank you!" I look over his outfit before nodding in return. "You look so cute!"

" Cute ?" He says it like there's something wrong with the word then looks down at his outfit.

"What?"

"Nothing." He shakes his head. "You ready?"

"Yup." I get up and grab my bag before leaving, and I expect Liam to be outside my room since he's been tagging along with us, but he isn't here.

"Do you want to tease him about us going on a friend date?" I turn to Moon, and I'm actually surprised when he shakes his head because he never passes up the chance to mess with Liam.

"I think he fell asleep. He's a monster when awakened."

I let out a soft laugh, but my shoulders slightly drop since a part of me was hoping he'd join us tonight, even if we sat in silence.

I muster up a smile and remind myself that we're already broken up.

Moon and I decide to walk down to the boats since it's nice out. I've wanted to go on a gondola ride since I arrived in Italy but haven't had the time. When we reach ours, I quickly take a video of it.

" Benvenuta ."

I smile at the tour guide and thank him as he holds a hand out to me to climb in. Another man is holding one of the paddles, but he keeps his back to us as he fixes something.

I turn to Moon but glance back at the dock when I notice he hasn't climbed on yet. "Come on."

"I'm actually not going with you." He tucks his hands in his pockets before smiling, and I slightly sit up when the boat starts moving.

"What are you talking about?"

"You're going to have fun, trust me."

I laugh nervously as I glance at the two men I don't know behind me. "I'd have more fun with you." My face turns more serious. "Get on the freaking boat, Moon."

"I'll see you later, Sunshine!" The boat gets further, and I stand before grabbing the top of it.

"Moon, I'm going to kill you!"

He laughs, but this seriously is a horrible joke, and I feel myself start to panic.

"Say the words, and I'll kill him for you."

I whip around so fast that the gondola slightly rocks. "Liam." I let out a breath of relief. "I thought I was being kidnapped."

"I'm sure you did," he says unamusingly, and I can't help but laugh. "You look…" His eyes cast down my frame before a smile touches his lips. "There should be a whole new word to describe you."

I feel my face heat as his eyes bore into every inch of my skin like he's trying to memorize me. "You really are perfect, Dory." He whispers now. "Completely without fault."

I look between his eyes, and with the way he watches me… I think every cyberbully could try to tear me down and fail because his words seem to put a force field around me.

"I love it when you say that."

"I'll tell you every day if we stop the no-talking thing." A smirk plays at his lips before he adds. "We can sit here in silence, but I want to talk to you about something."

I give in and say, "Silence would be awkward for the entire ride."

A smile spreads across his face as we sit down. "I spoke to your brothers."

"You what?" I pull away to look at him, but he seems completely serious.

"I got Moon to send me August's number from your phone. I spoke to him, and he said he's over what happened between us."

Yeah, he told me that a while ago.

"So I got him to talk to Sire," Liam starts carefully.

"No, you did not." I almost don't believe him until he goes on.

"I was wrong about you being afraid of your brothers. I see now that you just didn't want to hurt them by dating someone who did something messed up to them, but after a month of both August and me harassing Sire, he came around. I'm going to be very honest with you…" He starts carefully.

"Uh oh."

He stifles a laugh before explaining. "I did threaten him so he wouldn't call you about it because you've been so stressed with working over here, but they'll be here for your show on Saturday, and you don't have to lie to them. I'm not implying we're getting back together, but you don't have to be stressed about Sire completely hating me."

As I look between his eyes, I have to bite my tongue to stop myself from telling me I don't even care about how Sire feels at this point. I'm half as miserable as he is, and it took me long enough to realize being apart is hurting more than what he hurt me.

"How's therapy going?" I ask instead, honestly wanting an update.

He looks down at the water as he answers. "She wants me to figure out how I'm not like my dad, but I don't see how I'm not. I get my anger issues from him. She said I shouldn't place blame, and instead, call it the root of my anger, but he's the reason for—well, everything."

"And she thinks you're different from him?"

He only nods in response, and I know his dad isn't in the picture because of the note he sent with my flowers last month, but I know nothing else about him.

"I have a gift for you." He swiftly shifts the conversation as he grabs a bag beside his feet. "And this isn't a please-take-me-back-because-I'm-miserable gift. I just saw it and thought of you."

I let out a quiet laugh as I took the bag from him. I recognize the brand and when I take the box out of the bag, my jaw slightly drops at the way the entire charm bracelet seems to shine. My fingers run along every charm and I let out a soft gasp when I notice one is actually glowing a soft green.

I notice it's a firefly, and when I bring it closer to read, it says you light up my life. As if on cue, Me Belle Evangeline starts playing, and my head snaps up. I look around, and beside us on another gondola is the small band that plays in town.

"Stop it." I look back over at Liam, and he's already watching me with a smile. "I love this." I try to remind my brain that I'm not supposed to fall for his cute gestures, but screw my mind. I get to fall tonight, even if I don't tell him.

"Look at your charms."

I glance back down at the bracelet, and he scoots down to sit closer to me. I break into a laugh when I notice the Dory charm, and it's so freaking cute. "Very creative."

"I tried."

I keep my gaze on the bracelet. "Is this supposed to be us?" I lightly touch the girl and boy holding hands and playfully roll my eyes as I look back up at Liam.

"No, it's a twin charm." He gestures at it. "It's you and August."

I let my smile break through as I look back down at the charms. My finger runs along the A, L, and S, and I shake my head softly. "August, Lis, and Sire?" I peek over at him, and he only nods.

I take in the bracelet, and I don't think I could've gotten charms to describe myself better than he did. There's a gold Christmas tree, my favorite holiday. A paw print for the kittens. An emerald stone, my favorite color, and birthstone. My zodiac sign. A Jamaican and Haitian flag. A pumpkin right next to a coffee.

When I see a particular one, I take the bracelet out of the box for a better look and glance back over at Liam. "Is this a snow globe?"

He nods softly. "To represent you and Sire's bond."

It takes everything in me not to hug him, and I look back at the bracelet to stop myself. Every other charm is a location. The LA one makes sense, but then there are ones like Paris, Brazil, and Italy, and I realize they are all places I've been to.

"How'd you know all of these?"

"I took Moon's phone and looked through your travel playlist on your account." My travel playlist is incredibly long, so I'm sure he meant he just looked at the locations, but still, he got all eleven.

"Thank you." I wrap my arms around his neck and he wastes no time before pulling me closer and with the way he holds me, I believe what he said the other day about being touch-deprived.

I try to pull away and he holds me for a few more seconds before letting go. "Want to wear it now?" He sounds so hopeful, even if I didn't want to wear it, I can't say no to him.

I hold my wrist out, and when he clasps the charm bracelet on, it's a perfect fit. I shake my wrist and move the charms over. "Half a heart?" I turn the charm, and when I glance up at Liam, he only nods but doesn't explain the meaning of this charm.

He asks about how my day was, and I immediately tell him about the sweetest old lady I met today who helped me finish my meal. Liam seems to want to know how all my days have been, apparently because he asks about what I did yesterday and the day before that. I tell him my days are mainly filled with work for Vincent and preparation for the big show.

The band beside us plays the same song the entire ride, and I have no complaints because I can genuinely listen to it for hours on end. When they get to my favorite part again, I turn to Liam.

"I adore you," he says before I can. "I love you."

"Just translating." I put my hands up in mock surrender as I finish for him, but he doesn't add that part, and as he watches me, I actually can't look away. My hands fall, and I don't know if there are any animals in this water, but if a whale were to jump out from beside us, I wouldn't even notice with how Liam watches me.

"My perfect girl." His words are strained, and he looks off to the side as if he suddenly can't breathe.

"Are you okay?"

"No."

I look over at what he's looking at and notice we're nearing the dock soon… a part of me is bummed that the last half hour passed so quickly.

"Can we pretend we're still together?" He turns to me now. "Just until we reach the dock."

"Liam–"

" Just until we reach the dock, Dory."

I glance back at the dock and we have maybe a minute. I don't let myself think about it since I can't see what two minutes will change. "Fine."

He sits at the end of the gondola, and when he spreads his legs, I know all too well what he's asking. I shake my head at him before getting up to sit on his lap. He guides my arm around his neck before wrapping his arms around my waist, and I softly laugh at how quick his movements are.

The second his face is in the crease of my neck I melt into him and a second barely passes before he softly kisses my neck.

"Liam–"

"We're still pretending." His nose rubs against me softly, and I let my eyes fall shut as he kisses his way to my jawline. "I love you." His cool breath kisses my lips, and I don't move a muscle.

A chill runs down my spine as his nose nuzzles my jaw, and then there's that soft kiss on my cheek that I missed so badly.

"I'm so in love with you, Sage Loana." His arm tightens around my waist, and I wrap another arm around his neck. "From the moment I saw you crying over nasty cats, and I adopted all three of them, I knew I was done for."

I bite back a laugh, and when his lips graze mine, I suck in a breath.

"From our first date, I knew I loved you, but I'm sure I fell long before that. Probably when I started spending a shit ton of plane fuel to fly back to LA directly after all of my games and literally losing sleep just to be with you."

A smile touches my lips just as his hand cups my cheek. "Please say something." His voice is so quiet, I almost don't hear him over the music.

I squeeze my eyes shut as I rub my nose along his. "You're lovable, Liam." I bring up what he said in one of his letters that nearly tore my heart. I slightly pull away to look at him, and he keeps his eyes shut tight as he shakes his head gently.

"I only want to be loved by you, Sage." He leans into me again, resting his forehead on mine.

I feel like my mind is at war, but I give in and say what I've been wanting to tell him for a while. "I love you, Lee."

His lips meet mine, and when I pull in a deep breath from my nose, it's as if this were a true love's kiss because something deep inside of me awakens.

His grip around me tightens, and I realize the boat has just stopped. I try to pull away, but he doesn't let me. "Wait," he begs before his lips are back on mine, and when his tongue slides into my mouth, I don't want to stop pretending.

I pull away and as I look between his eyes, I never want to look at another man. I tried to stand my ground all month, but I knew for a while now that I was going to take him back because I do love him. More than I've loved anyone.

"You better not make me regret this, Liam," I warn breathlessly.

A smile spreads across his face as he quickly kisses me again.

"I mean it." I pull away so he can see me. "We're humans, we're going to make mistakes, but don't let one of those end in me being hurt because I swear on my twin's life, I won't speak to you again the next time you hurt me. I don't deserve that."

He cups my face before tucking a curl behind my ear. "I'll let your brothers gut me alive if I hurt you again, Sage."

"Oh, they didn't need your permission."

He lets out a deep laugh, and I think I fall in love all over again.