41. Chapter Forty-One

Chapter Forty-One

Liam

" A m I talking to a damn wall! Are you injured or not?" Coach Finn yells again through the phone, and I put him on mute as I do the strategies I've been working on with Rose.

"I want to tell him to fuck off." I take a deep breath as I identify why that'll be wrong. "He's my coach, I need to respect him." I remind myself.

"Walker, so help me God, if you're not at the next game-"

"Don't-" I cut myself off because threatening him for threatening me would be very wrong. I realize I'm still on mute and decided this doesn't count. It's me resorting my anger to other things. "Don't fucking threaten me. I'm not going to be at the next game because I just got my girl back yesterday, and I'm not leaving her. Yes, I am injured. I'm still recovering from a broken heart!"

He doesn't hear a word, but I hang up on him and surprisingly feel so much better. "Wow." I smile to myself as I decline his call. "Therapy is great." I'm about to text Rose since I've been looking forward to the validation, but I decide to tell Sage instead.

I got to sleep in her room last night, and after a month apart, I didn't want to leave her side, but I needed to take this call. Just as I open the door, Moon tries to knock.

"Go away." I try to shut the door on him, but he puts a hand on the door.

"Don't be rude, Sage doesn't like it."

I try to walk out, but he grabs me. "I wouldn't go there if I were you." He looks over at Sage's door as if he just saw her putting together an evil plan for world destruction.

"Why not?" I keep my eyes on her door.

"I just ran in here to escape Sage. She was being mean, then started crying because she was being mean, and I got scared. It's a shit show in there."

"What are you talking about?" I look back over at him at the mention of her in tears.

"I don't know. I think she's on her period."

I stare at him for two whole seconds, but he just pets my cat nonchalantly. "Don't tell me you told her that."

"I wish I didn't. She got more mad and then cried more. Something is wrong with her."

"Why didn't you get me? She's not on her period, you idiot." I shake my head at him before turning back to the door.

"How do you know?"

Because she gets a pimple on her cheek when she's on her period and she had it last week. I booked her a spa and got her chocolate-covered strawberries, pretzels, and marshmallows. It was a bundle, and I obviously needed to get them all for her.

"This is why you're single."

"So were you up until twelve hours ago? Thanks to me, by the way."

I turn to him very slowly, and he's already standing from my bed and putting distance between us.

"Do not be here when I get back." I walk out and knock on Sage's door. I can hear her let out a sigh, and I bite back a smile. She sounds like me.

"Oh–" Her brows slightly furrow, and I'm glad that sigh wasn't for me.

"Are you okay?"

When she lets out another breath, I know she isn't, and I just want to hold her as she tells me what's bothering her so I can make it go away.

"Not really, but it's fine. I'll–"

"It's not fine. Tell me what it is, and I'll fix it."

She watches me for a few seconds, and I move an inch to lean forward and kiss her cheek. She's so pretty. She looks even more beautiful in this moment with her bonnet and her oversized hoodie. My eyes slowly roam her face, and when she starts talking, her dimples appear and I kiss them one more time.

"You can't fix it. I'm just stressed about the runway show." She shakes her head before covering her face with her hands. "I tried on one of my dresses today, and it didn't fit. I actually wanted to die, like-"

"Don't say that." I pull her in for a hug, and I feel her go still, but I don't let go. "I wish you saw yourself the way I see you, Sage." I pull away just a bit so she can see me. "Don't ever say that again," I tell her more sternly.

"That was very sweet, but I didn't mean actually die, Lee. Just metaphorically."

"Well, I don't want you to want to metaphorically die, so don't say that. If your dress didn't fit, then the idiot who made it needs to make sure the measurements are right because I'm sure it had nothing to do with you."

She looks up at me with a sad smile. "They did read the measurements wrong, and Vincent fired them, but I didn't know that at the time, and his entire team was there, and it was humiliating ." She covers her face again, as if she actually wants to disappear off the face of the earth, and I pull her hands away.

"Yeah, for the idiot who can't read numbers. Don't be embarrassed that they couldn't do their job."

She turns her head to the side, and I mirror her. "That's not why I was embarrassed…"

"There's no other reason you should be."

She smiles up at me, and I kiss her.

"Have you eaten?"

Her smile disappears, and when she avoids my eyes, I have my answer. "Did you at least eat breakfast at work?" She didn't want to eat the room service I got her but said she'd eat at work. When she doesn't answer, I have to force myself not to let out a sigh.

"Sage–"

"I just couldn't, Lee. I've been doing so well these last few weeks. I swear I have, but I weighed myself, and I gained weight ." Her eyes widen like the thought alone is her biggest fear.

"Dory, that's because this is the first time you've been eating healthy. You're not going to gain fifty pounds in a month. I'm sure it was probably two pounds."

Her eyes cut to the ground, and I know I'm right.

"I knew I had my fitting today, and I was so nervous the outfits wouldn't fit, so I didn't eat yesterday and–"

"You didn't eat all day yesterday or today?" I look between her eyes, and she looks beyond torn. Her eyes fall to the ground again, but I tilt her chin so she can see me. "You can't do that, Sage."

"Liam–"

"What if you pass out again, Dory?" I shake my head at the thought of how scary it was to find her in the shower like that last time. "No. You can't do that, let's go." I grab her hand, and when she asks where we're going, I tell her we're getting food.

She tries to object, but I don't listen, so she tries stalling by taking her bonnet off at the speed of a sloth before fixing her curls with a pick.

"Your hair looks perfect, Dory."

She blatantly ignores me, but I let her fix her curls for the next five minutes and nearly nothing looks different and we both know that.

"I can wait all day, by the way." I tease, but her face falls. I walk over to her and plant a kiss on her lips. "You know I'm not going to force you to eat, let's go try ."

She nods to herself before I drag her to the restaurant downstairs. She grows quiet as we're seated in a booth in the far corner. They bring out bread and butter, but she doesn't touch it, and I don't push her to.

"How was the rest of your day?"

She only shrugs, and when I see that look in her eyes, I take her hand in mine.

"You're fine, Sage."

She shakes her head and tries to pull her hand back, but I don't let her. When her eyes meet mine, there's a shine in them, and I wish more than anything that it wasn't from her tears.

"You don't understand how humiliating that was today." She shakes her head, and I hate that she's beating herself up.

"The dress barely made it past my thighs, and after squeezing into it, we couldn't get the zipper up, and I just looked… horrible." She looks like she might be sick, and I walk around the table to sit next to her instead, and she immediately melts into me.

"On top of that, I had to walk out of the fitting room, in front of maybe ten people, and they looked so judgemental and–" She covers her face and only shakes her head as if she was reliving that moment all over again.

"Sage, it's not your fault the dress didn't fit you. It's not like you gained a hundred pounds from the last time they got your measurements. You gained two pounds. That doesn't make a difference in your dress size. They quite literally made the dress too small. How–"

"That's not the point , Liam. I don't care that the dress didn't fit. Outfit malfunctions aren't the end of the world. It's the fact that those people looked at how big I was in the dress, and their stares alone told me they thought Vincent was making the worst choice in hiring me. Like I wasn't worthy enough to be their model. Like I wasn't pretty enough or skinny enough; like I'm just not enough and–"

"Stop it." I pull her in closer, and I feel her pull in a deep breath. She shakes her head softly against me, and I kiss the side of her face.

"You're more than enough, Sage. You're more than pretty enough. You're—you're fucking ethereal, and it doesn't matter if you're not skinny. That shit doesn't matter. I'd give anything for you to see that."

I shake my head as I pull away so she can see me. "I'd gouge my own eyes out and give them to you if it'll make you see yourself the way I see you."

She smiles up at me, but it seems forced as if she's tired.

"Tell me what you need so I can make you feel better, Dory."

She lets out a defeated sigh before running a hand down her tired face. "I just want everyone to never look at me again."

I give her a small smile and wish I could make that happen. "I'd do anything, but that's a bit impossible, baby. I think you're like one of the top ten most famous people on this planet."

She lets out a soft laugh, and I kiss her perfect dimple. "Do you not want to model anymore?"

She sinks into her seat before grabbing up a piece of bread and picking it apart. "I want to model. I love modeling… I just don't love what it comes with." She shakes her head at something she just thought. "I wish the world wasn't so mean."

"The entire world isn't mean." I nudge her arm, and she turns to me. "Sage, you have hundreds of millions of people who love you. If you loved yourself a bit more, the world wouldn't be able to tear you down."

"I do love myself." She sounds certain, and I'm sure that's partly true. For the most part, Sage is the most confident person I know. Most days, you'd never guess she tears herself apart, especially not when she doesn't hide her body and wears what she wants.

But on those other days… on the days she doesn't eat and rereads all of her hate comments. Deletes her pretty pictures or changes her outfit. Those are the days she needs to love herself more, but until she can, I'll love her enough for the both of us.

"I was doing so good." She rips apart a piece of bread before tossing it into the basket. "I was eating multiple meals every day, and when I didn't want to eat, I asked for help. I'd call my siblings to eat with me, and it didn't feel so hard."

I smile at how far she's come, and I wish she'd call me when she needed help, but I'm glad she's finally talking to someone.

"I haven't even made myself throw up in a while, but then today happened, and it feels like such a huge setback." She takes a bite of the bread in her hands, but I falter at her words.

"What?"

She turns to me, and she looks confused for a second before it hits her.

"I didn't know you were making yourself throw up? When was this?" I pull away to look at her, but she avoids my eyes.

"I haven't purged in a while." She shakes her head. "I didn't want to talk about it; my siblings knew, but… I just didn't want to tell anyone else. It took a lot for me to simply tell them, so please don't be mad–"

"I'm not mad that you didn't tell me, Sage."

Her eyes meet mine.

"I'm mad I didn't notice. I'm mad at whatever I did that no longer made you feel comfortable enough to come to me or–"

"No, Liam. It had nothing to do with you." She looks between my eyes, but I don't say anything. "I promise… you're the one who made me come to terms with my eating disorder. I just—I didn't want anyone to know, and after I told my family, I didn't have it in me to tell anyone else."

I nod a few times and try to convince myself that this has nothing to do with me or the way I fucked up with her. Instead, I say what matters. "I'm so proud of how far you've come, Sage. Today wasn't as big of a setback as you think, even though you skipped some meals. You acknowledging it is a big first step."

She holds her head a bit higher as she nods to herself, and when the waiter comes, I smile proudly as she orders her food with grace. Even if she's faking until she makes it, I know she's going to get there eventually. She's got this.

When the food comes, she nods to herself a few times, convincing herself of whatever is on her mind, and I love how hard she's trying.

"You're doing so good." I kiss the side of her face, and a small smile grows on her face as she turns to me.

"You know, it makes me feel so good when you say things like that."

A smile touches my lips, and I remind myself to keep praising her. She takes a few small bites of her food, but after getting a taste of everything, she must realize that she's hungry because she slowly eats more.

Jordan calls me, but I decline it, and then Sage's phone starts ringing. I roll my eyes but don't waste my breath telling her not to answer because I'm sure she isn't going to listen. "Hi, Jordan."

"Hey, Sunshine. Is Liam there?"

She looks over at me, and I shake my head no, but when she forces a smile, I know she's going to rat me out. "Of course, he is." She flips the phone to me, and I roll my eyes at her before looking down at the phone.

"Tell me what happened!" Jordan is staring at me like I just escaped an insane asylum. "Coach just tore me a new one because you hung up on him mid-lecture? Why am I always getting in trouble for your bad temper?"

"What is he talking about?" Sage looks between the two of us.

"Coach called me after I told him I was missing the next game, and you're not getting in trouble for my temper." I'm in no way letting him take away this win from me. "I didn't even say anything to him."

Sage looks as confused as Jordan as she watches me. "So what'd you do?"

"My therapist says I need to resort to different things when I'm anger, so I sat there in silence, and that worked for most of the call, but then he started pissing me off, so I put him on mute and yelled at him, then hung up." I smile down at Sage, and she looks confused before a small smile grows on her face.

"I'm so proud of you!"

"Thank you!" I can't help but smile at her praise, but the moment is interrupted by Jordan.

"What the hell?" He stares at me in disbelief. "I have never seen you smile like that or say thank you that enthusiastically. Sunshine, what is he on?"

I flip him off before hanging up, and Sage breaks into a laugh.

"Block his number, please."

She laughs harder, and I smile down at her.

When she pulls away, she simply looks up at me in awe. "I love you."

I feel my eyes slightly bulge before a heat runs down my entire face, and her eyes light up at something.

"You're blushing," she whispers, and I don't even bother to look away.

"You should only say those three words for the rest of the day." I practically beg.

She breaks into a laugh, and I pull her into my embrace.

"I wanted you to open up to me, and you have," she starts. "I had to ask about your mom and therapy, but you told me, and you added a bit about your dad on your own." She gestures to her phone. "And you didn't lose it on your coach even though you hate when people yell at you. I asked you to try, and you are. You're also clearly doing this for yourself, which I think is very important."

My face hurts from how hard I'm smiling. "That last part sounded like my therapist."

"I think I like her." She holds her head up as she looks at me more seriously. "Thank you for becoming the better I deserve."

She closes the distance between us, and I want to kiss her forever, but she pulls away. "What are you going to do about your game?"

I shrug in response. "My team will be fine. Plus, I don't even like them."

She softly shakes her head. "You don't like anyone."

"Nope. Just you."

She laughs again before I bring her in for another kiss.