5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

ROMAN

I ’m so terrible about letting shit, like this, go. I sat there staring at the phone biting my lip trying to stay in control and not say something I’d regret.

From: ALEX

Reply to: ROMAN

Subject: :)

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Goodnight.

AK

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My mom would’ve said, “That’s a good start, honey.”

I’m sick of this shit. I know she misses me. I know she can’t possibly still think I did that to her. What’s she afraid of? Me? The only thing I’ve ever shown her is love. She’d have to be a masochist to think this was good for either of us. No, I want the last word. I dropped the phone and ran my hands back and forth through my hair, like a crazy person. “Ugh.” I groaned, reached down and picked up the phone, taking a breath before deciding how to respond to her dismissal.

From: ROMAN

Reply to: ALEX

Subject: Y Goodnight?

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Please just talk to me. How can I make you see it wasn’t me?

RK

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From: ALEX

Reply to: ROMAN

Subject: I don’t know

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I just don’t know.

AK

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I wasn’t as composed as I’d like to be and I had no plans to give up, not when there’s still something there— to me anyway. I’m not a quitter. Hopefully I don’t turn into a stalker, though.

** *

I slept a lot better last night having at least been able to communicate somewhat with her. Gym workout was productive and felt good today too. Got into my office and flipped the lights on. The room was quiet, and my desk was just the way I left it yesterday. I sat in my chair and organized the crap that was scattered about before calling Amelia in to get the notes from the meetings I missed.

She wasn’t as tentative around me as she has been as she sashayed into my office, “Good morning, Mr. King. You’re looking much better today.” She offered me the files with a radiant smile on her face almost like something was up.

“Yeah, feeling much better, thanks. Can we go over the notes from yesterday?” I took them from her and began to scan through them to see if there was anything of immediate importance.

“Sure.” She took the seat in front of my desk and crossed her legs as she sat up straight and proper. “I sent you an email this morning with all the notes attached. I also pushed back your first meeting by an hour in case you needed an extra minute or two this morning.” She looked right at me as if what she was saying was a given. I smiled knowing she would’ve already sent the messages to me in an email, but I preferred having them in my hand.

“Thanks for that. You always seem to know what I need.” I leaned back in my chair and crossed my arms, waiting for her to pat herself on the back some more.

“It’s part of my job description, to anticipate your needs. Didn’t you know that?” She handed me some other files she had in her hands. I looked at them and noticed they were for the meetings I had today too.

I laughed and shook my head. “Since HR created that job description, not sure I remember it, or thought you made it up.” We laughed as she situated herself more comfortably in her seat and we went over all the business notes.

Amelia is probably the best person to talk to about the emails last night. I knew she and Alex were friendly and she may have some insight for me being a woman.

“Hey, can you do lunch today? We haven’t done that recently and I’m trying to get back in the swing of things.” I leaned forward, propping my elbows on the desk as I carefully asked.

She had a pained expression on her face. “I actually have a lunch date today. Can we do it tomorrow?” She almost looked nervous waiting for my answer. Hmm, she said, “date.” Is she seeing someone? She’s so secretive about her private life. To hear her say date sounds strange to me. I clasped my hands, resting them sin front of me and raised an eyebrow.

“Really? Anyone I know?” She just smiled uncomfortably. I guess I won’t pry anymore right now.

“I’d rather not say, if that’s okay?”

Like I said, secrets are nothing new with this one.

“Sure, no worries, we’ll plan on tomorrow then? What time are you leaving for lunch?” I walked over to the mini fridge and took out a bottle of water. I held one out to her in silent offer and she shook her head no, so I put it back.

“Noon, same as always,” she shrugged. Probably another thing I never took notice of. The fact that she left the office at the same time for lunch every day. You’d think it would be something I would remember. Guess not.

“Ok, enjoy. I’ll see you this afternoon. My first meeting is out of the office, so I’ll get ready for that and head over.”

She smiled and went back to her desk. I opened the bottle of water and tipped it back, swallowing half trying to stay hydrated after that headache. That was the most reserved Amelia’s ever acted with me. She must really like this person she’s meeting for lunch. Good for her.

I clicked open the calendar alert on my phone that said my first meeting was with Grant Johnson, Alex’s broker at Johnson Realty. We needed a game plan to help the residents of Burrow Township relocate. I’d never been to their office before or met any of Alex’s friends from there besides Grant. This was going to be another look into the life (previous or present) of Alex Kennedy.

I pulled up to a beautiful building situated in a park-like setting. Very peaceful vibe. I could see why Alex decided to hang her license here. I walked up to the receptionist and introduced myself. “Hi, I’m Roman King, I have an appointment with Grant Johnson.” I reached my hand out to shake hers and got the normal tongue-tied awestruck reaction as she reached out to shake my hand so slowly you would’ve thought I was a snake about to bite.

Before she could get a word out, Grant dropped his hand on my shoulder and her mouth closed as I took my hand back. “Roman, you’re right on time. Let’s go to the conference room.”

He ushered me down the corridor to the left. I saw a few heads pop up further down the hall as we headed into the conference room. Must not get too many visitors here. They seemed awfully interested in my presence.

There are photos of Alex with her family and friends on the desk. Not really a conference room after all. Why is he bringing me into Alex’s office? I stood in the middle of the space with my hands in my pockets not wanting to sit on anything or get too close that her scent might still be attached to. It’s bad enough to see her in all the pictures on the bookshelves and around the room. I lifted an eyebrow and turned toward Grant hoping he decides to take us to his office instead .

Grant looks at me with sympathy. “Alex hasn’t been to the office to work since the accident, but she hasn’t come to get her things either. I can’t seem to let her go so we’re keeping it the way it is until she tells me one way or another if she’s truly gone.”

I commiserate with him. “I know how you feel.” I scanned the pictures again before turning my attention back to him.

“Have you seen her or talked to her?” he asked hopefully before informing me. “She popped in here yesterday for a quick visit.” It was good to know she’s getting in touch with this group.

“We had an email exchange but that’s been it. She hasn’t wanted to see me or talk to me.”

Grant gave me a weary smile and nodded. I hope I’m not here to talk about Alex. I don’t have it in me to think about how she cut me off again last night.

“I don’t know if this will make you feel better or worse, but she was the happiest we’ve ever seen her when she was with you, so hopefully she remembers that and gives herself a break.” That was helpful, but I’m not in the mood to relive the pain and just because that was true before doesn’t mean it’s the way she feels now. My comfort level is diminishing rapidly and my desire to continue this conversation is fading with it.

“Thanks, that’s good to know.” Makes me feel like there’s hope or maybe she really is a masochist. Either way we need to hustle through this emotional exchange and get to the point of this meeting.

Grant was working closely with several residents of the Burrow Township neighborhood now. Realizing I’ve been standing motionless in the middle of the room, my hands tucked into my trouser pockets, Grant gestured to the sitting area with the green velvet sofa and green and gold chairs on either side of a gold embellished glass top table. I took a seat in one of the chairs and he sat on the side of the sofa closest to me. I sat back and crossed my ankle over my thigh and ran my hand over the soft fabric thinking about the way Alex felt under my touch. I blinked the thought away and focused on what Grant was telling me about the neighborhood.

“They seem more comfortable working with Alex, but Ella assured everyone that if Alex trusted me, then they could too. Ella mentioned that she hadn’t heard from Alex either.” Grant said.

“That surprises me since she was so hellbent on helping them. I would’ve thought she would’ve at least kept in contact with them.” He seemed as confused as I was about that.

“I think we need to talk to Alex and see if we can’t get her interested in helping Ella again.”

“How should we go about doing that Grant? She isn’t talking to me.”

“Let me think about it on my end and maybe you can think about it on yours and we’ll come up with something.”

“Sounds like a plan, I guess, if you can call it that.” He smiled and patted me on the back excusing himself to head to another meeting.

That meeting was good, and I managed to keep my thoughts focused on figuring out what we needed to do rather than fondling Alex’s furniture. Technically the meeting was about Alex, but not about our relationship, which is what I was trying to stay away from.

On my way out of the office a young lady stopped me.

“Mr. King? I’m Shay, Alex’s friend.” This is a name I’m pretty sure I’ve heard before. I smiled and shook her hand.

“Hi Shay, please call me Roman. It’s nice to meet you.” Alex had talked about these people, but I hadn’t had the chance to meet them yet. Shay seemed a lot younger than Alex. I wonder if all her friends from the office were this young. It would explain a lot as far as where she hung out and her after-hours activities. I smiled weakly trying to forget about the after-hours activities she was no longer having with me.

“You too. I just wanted to say hi because we never got the chance to meet you that night.”

Her expression was full of pain. Looks like everyone felt the horror of what happened to Alex. She looked like she was holding back tears. “Alex told us yesterday that you two weren’t together anymore. She did that, didn’t she?”

This wasn’t really a conversation I was interested in having, but Shay was sweet and I’m sure she didn’t mean anything by it.

“Shay, we all have our own reasons for the things we do. She had hers, and we have to respect that.” I started to walk away, but she stopped me by grabbing my forearm. I looked down where her hand was settled on my arm and took a breath to calm myself. For whatever heart rate rising information I was about to receive. I also didn’t need to go off on this poor girl.

“Please wait. I know she still loves you. She’s one of the kindest, most generous people I know to everyone but herself. Don’t give up on her, she deserves to be happy.” I was speechless. I nodded and walked away. Now my chest was tight, and I had a lump in my throat that I tried to swallow down to no avail. I got out of there as fast as I could. I guess the only person Alex was fooling was herself.

***

ALEX

Morning routine complete .

Next on the agenda for the day was lunch with Amelia. I guess I should call Ella and see if I can stop by this afternoon after lunch.

I sat on the edge of my bed with the phone on speaker as it rang while I tied my shoes. She picked up the phone quickly. “Miss Alex, how you doin’ sweetie?”

Making friends in a neighborhood where people would rather stab you than help you when you’ve run out of gas didn’t seem like the best idea, but in this case, I made a friend who is more like family to me now. I finished the last loop and grabbed the phone, taking it out to the kitchen. I laid it on the island counter while I got a bottle of water out of the fridge.

I couldn’t help but smile when I talked to Ella (aka Big Mama). She was the sweetest most grandmotherly woman I had ever met and has become one of my dearest friends. “Oh, you know Miss Ella, I’d say I’m doing better than fair today.” She laughed. It was so good to hear her voice and her contagious laugh. I leaned against the counter as I looked down at my nails trying to decide what I was going to say to her to make amends for the mess I left. I chewed on my thumb nail waiting for her to reply.

“I’m so happy to hear from you. What can I do for you?” Only she would ask me how she can help me when I’m supposed to be helping her.

“Ella, I haven’t been a very good friend to you. I promised to help you, and I ghosted you.” Emotion was bubbling up in my chest and tears were threatening to spill over.

“Now, don’t you say that. You did no such thing. You left us in very capable hands. Mr. Grant is wonderful. He’s no “White Girl Rambo'' like you, but he ain’t scared of those people either.”

I managed to chuckle, warding off the tears. That was the nickname her grandson, Darius, gave me after my confrontation with the kid threatening me with a knife. Not a good day but at least I can laugh about it now.

“Grant is my mentor and taught me everything I know,” I tried to assure her. “But the reason for my call is because I’m still your friend and I’d like to come see you today. Darius too. I have a lunch meeting then I could head over, if that works for you?” I mentally crossed my fingers while chewing the inside of my cheek.

“Yes ma’am, you just come on over when you’re done; Darius and I will be here.” She sounded excited and I let out the bated breath and the anxiety seemed to go with it.

“Wonderful, I look forward to seeing you.”

“Same sweetie.” There’s another weight lifted off my shoulders. I sighed with relief as I hung up the phone and stuffed it into my purse.

Amelia and I are meeting at Benitas, the bistro across the street from her office. I know she only has an hour for lunch, and I don’t want to make her go far. I definitely don’t want to have lunch in the office where I could chance running into Roman .

She was walking across the street when I spotted her as I was parking the car. I hopped out and she squealed when she saw me and raced over, throwing her arms around me. She towered over me and her hug swallowed me. She was effortlessly beautiful and as sweet as she was pretty.

She put her hands on my shoulders and took a good look from head to toe as I got my bearings and caught my breath from her excited assault.

“Girl, how do you manage to look as good in workout clothes as you do in business suits?” She continued to scan me as I gave her the ‘you must be kidding me’ look. I felt like a bum and hadn’t really put any effort into my outfit today since I had training this afternoon and was completely makeup free .

“You’re crazy.” I took a step back and crossed my arms over my stomach self -consciously. “I apologize for my get up today. I have another meeting after this then a kickboxing class and no time to stop home and change.” She was dressed like a supermodel in a burgundy sheath dress that fit like it was painted on a body to die for plus a pair of four-inch stilettos. And here I am in Lululemon and tennis shoes. I hope we can hurry inside so no one sees me with her standing out here. They’d probably think she was feeding a homeless person.

She locked her arm through mine like she had no problem being seen with me and dragged me into the restaurant.

“How do you like that class?” She asked curiously after we sat down with our food. Maybe she wanted to take it too. I mean the classes have saved my life, literally.

“I love it.” I admitted then took a small bite of my sandwich and finished chewing and swallowing before I spoke again. “It was pretty brutal at first but now it’s almost relaxing.” I remembered the first day I took two classes back-to-back, and it took me thirty minutes and a pep talk to pry myself off the floor. Now I feel like I could recruit people to take this class.

She laughed as she insisted, “Maybe I need to sign up!”

That would be awesome. I hope she’s serious. I enthusiastically nodded my head.

“Yes, I’ll have a collection of friends in the class with me. A bunch of badass women.” She smiled and flexed her muscles jokingly.

We laughed and enjoyed lunch until suddenly, I couldn’t breathe. I caught a glimpse of Roman out of the corner of my eye. One whiff of his cologne made my heart speed up and my eyes automatically close. Not this, not now. If I hold my breath, maybe he won’t see me either. I held still and stared at Amelia like a statue. That night I was attacked came back in a rush. My hands started to shake so I gripped the edge of the table for stability.

Amelia saw my face and asked, “Alex what’s wrong?” Roman hadn’t seen us when he walked in because he was looking at his phone. Amelia hadn’t seen him because she was telling me a story she was really into, and I had hoped to keep it that way, but I was terrible at hiding my facial expressions.

I whispered because I was literally holding my breath, “Nothing.” I swallowed hard and took a breath then accidentally let my gaze veer towards Roman. Amelia turned to follow my line of sight. She looked back like it was no big deal.

She shrugged her shoulders and muttered reassuringly, “At least he’s eating again.” I swung my head back to look at her in shock. What the hell did she mean by that?

I harshly whispered after taking a deep inhale, “He wasn’t eating? Why the hell not?” She was surprised by my response and pushed back from the table, crossing her arms over her chest.

“Woah, that sounds an awful lot like caring.” She cocked her head to the side and raised her eyebrows. “He’s had a rough few weeks too, Alex.” She almost sounded like she was accusing me of being the cause of whatever was wrong with him. I calmed down and took a couple more controlled breaths.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to snap at you.” Pull it together, just get through this next couple of minutes and then you can decide if spending time with Amelia is going to be worth it in the future.

“You should really talk to each other. This is hard to watch from my perspective. If you want me to be there with you, I will.” This might not be the right time to have this conversation. I started collecting the trash on the table to throw it away and get out of here .

I began, “Well, let’s you and I do this again and maybe you can think about signing up for kickboxing classes to hang out more.” I didn’t make eye contact with her again. She got the picture that I wasn’t talking about Roman anymore.

“Sounds like a plan. I’ll have to think about kickboxing though, I bruise easily.” Don’t know why I didn’t believe her, but we could find something else to do.

“You and I will have to come up with something else, like mani-pedi day?”

She smiled excitedly, almost a little too excited, as in fake, and I realized Amelia and I were now just playing pretend. Our friendship may be predicated on whether or not I could handle Roman’s continued existence in her life even when he isn’t in mine.

“Yep, that’s definitely more me.” She expressed and shifted her eyes barely to the side in Roman’s direction. Just then Roman turned around and our eyes locked. He stopped in his tracks, and I got lost in those molten chocolate brown eyes. My mouth fell open just a little before I realized it and snapped it shut again.

Amelia quickly broke the trance and said, “Well, Alex, this was fun, let’s do it again.” When I didn’t respond she reminded me, “Don’t you have an appointment you need to get to?” I nodded my head still directed right at Roman, who was standing there staring back with the corner of his mouth quirked up a little.

“Yeah, thanks for the reminder, I’ll talk to you later.”

Amelia said a quick hello to Roman on her way out. As I was hurrying to get my things so I could leave too, my purse got stuck on the back of the chair.

“Fuck, of course this would happen ”

Now he was standing right next to me with a smile on his face, probably laughing at what a clown I looked like trying to get my purse free.

“Hello Ms. Kennedy.” His voice was low and warm. So warm, I was heating up all over. I stopped fighting my purse and took a deep breath. It felt like the first time I met him, the same electricity going through my body was unmistakable and as powerful as ever. I needed to get out of here before I hyperventilated.

I took a deep slow breath, calmly freed my purse strap as I composed myself. “Mr. King,'' I replied. “I really have to go.” My voice trembled, and I turned to sprint to my car. I was almost home free. I felt relieved, until he grabbed me by the arm, turned me around and kissed me.

***

ROMAN

I couldn’t forget to eat again so I went to Benita’s to pick something up to take to my office. The meeting with Grant was productive. The meeting with Shay was surprising. I didn’t expect the intense feelings it brought out of me, but ultimately, it made me feel a little less crazy.

As I was walking into Benita's, my phone was buzzing like crazy. All these freaking texts coming in about Texas and Burrow Township and Harrison. Good thing I ordered ahead. This shit can wait.

I quit scrolling and put my phone in my back pocket, handed the cashier my debit card and stood off to the side waiting for her to hand it back along with my lunch that was ready. I put some cash into the tip jar, said thank you and turned to leave. Immediately my eyes found hers like they knew exactly where to look, even without scanning the room first. I was like a deer in headlights. It had been weeks since I‘d looked into those soul stealing green eyes. Fuck, this was harder than I thought it would be. I almost didn’t think I’d be able to move until someone said my name. I looked just enough to catch a glimpse of Amelia then shifted my eyes right back to Ms. Kennedy. This was Amelia’s secret lunch date. Of course she wouldn’t tell me about this one.

I could see that Alex was trying to leave too, probably to get the hell away from me, but her bag got stuck on the chair and it was the cutest thing I’ve ever seen, watching this kickboxing beast lose this battle to a purse strap and a bistro chair. I bit my bottom lip to keep from laughing.

“Hi Ms. Kennedy.”

She said hello back. I smiled and she ran out the door. I’m done playing fair and I’m done being patient. I want what I want, and damn it, I know she wants me too. She knows I didn’t attack her. I don’t know if this is a good idea but maybe our connection will be enough to spark something. I’m not a predator for God’s sake. We were in love, and I know it’s still there. I hurried after to her car, dropping my lunch as I took hold of her arm then turned her to face me. I made quick assessment of her eyes before I kissed her. She looked surprised but not afraid. I held her close with one hand around her waist and the other buried in her hair on the back of her head holding her mouth firmly to mine. Her body leaned into mine letting me know she was not pushing me away. My tongue skimmed along her bottom lip as she allowed me access. She reached up placing her hands on my chest as she grasped the lapel of my jacket. As much as I wanted to stay like this and find out what she was thinking, we were practically in the middle of the road. It wasn’t what I planned because I had no plan. I just reacted. She didn’t try to fight me. Her mouth was so soft and warm, but I also didn’t want to get slapped if what I was thinking wasn’t accurate .

I broke the connection and made sure to open her car door and help her in before I picked up my lunch and walked into the building. I know the kind of effect I can have on her. I turned and watched her sit in her car for a minute before she left. Now it’s time to have a word with Amelia.

I stopped right in front of her desk, squinting as I decided if I was pissed or just curious as to why I wasn’t allowed to know they were still in contact. “I’m going to need about twenty minutes for lunch today so hold my calls, please.”

She calmly responded, “Okay, Mr. King.”

“Don’t ‘Mr. King’ me right now. You could’ve told me you were having lunch with Alex,” I barked. I guess I was pissed.

Amelia’s face was stone cold. Uh oh, I don’t think I’m going to like whatever this is.

She slammed her hands down on her desk and stood up. I took a step toward my office door a bit affronted by her tone.

“Why? So you can turn into that sad excuse for a man who skipped work for a headache and made me pick up all the pieces? Uh, no thank you.” She hurled those words at me like an axe. “I’d rather have the demanding asshole Roman telling me and everyone else how he wants and expects things to get done and when– the way things have always been. You and Alex are both idiots if you think you can keep playing this game. You need to talk.”

I shook my head and went straight into my office. I didn’t start laughing until I closed my door, leaning against it as I doubled over. Who the hell was that person, and what did she do with Amelia?

I dropped my lunch on my desk as I heard the ping of an email come through.

From: ALEX

Reply to: ROMAN

Subject: Ambush

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I feel like you’re fucking with me.

AK

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I had an easy response to that.

From: ROMAN

Reply to: ALEX

Subject: You too huh?

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Ditto!

RK

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