Chapter 16

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

brENDON

Carter has been in and out of LaLa Land since just before dinner, and I've been dying to ask him what the hell has him so distracted. I just didn't want to do that in front of Sasha and Rio because Carter would have brought it up there had he felt comfortable enough.

"Are you going to tell me what's going on now?" I ask as I drive us home.

"What do you mean?" he asks, cocking his head to the side.

"Playing dumb are we?" I retort with a raised brow.

Carter breathes out a heavy sigh and shrugs. "It's stupid," he mumbles, staring out the window.

I keep one hand on the wheel, and with my other, I reach over and squeeze his thigh. "I'm sure it's not stupid," I assure him.

"My brain is kind of stuck on a statement Rio made, and I guess I'm just confused," he tells me quietly.

I try to think back to a statement Rio made that would have Carter this out of whack but completely come up blank.

"Would you mind telling me what that statement was?" I request, needing more information.

"He asked Sasha if they looked as crazy in love when they first started dating as we do," he supplies for me, but I still struggle to figure out why those words left him so confused.

Is he not as crazy about me as I am about him?

I mean, for the average couple, being in love wouldn't happen before you've even had a first date, but we aren't average. Our love didn't grow overnight, either. It's been building since the moment we met. Hell, we've even said the words I love you in the past. Of course, we meant it in a different way. It was a friendship love, at least that's what we thought it was, but for a long time now, it's been more than friendship. We just didn't know it.

"Why did his words confuse you?" I ask, needing to know what's going through his head.

"Because we've only been a couple for like two days, and that's wayyyy too fast to be saying things like love." He pauses, then turns to me. "Isn't it?"

I squeeze his thigh again, wishing I could look him in the eyes right now, so he understands how much I mean the words I'm about to say. "Babe, we've been best friends since we were damn near babies. Obviously, we love each other. We've even said so to each other. Why do you think it's too fast?"

"That's different. It was friendship love," he counters.

"That's how it started, yeah, but obviously, it's morphed into something new and better over time. I'm already crazy about you, C, and I think I have been for a while. I just didn't know it. The second my eyes were opened to my true sexuality, everything finally made sense, and it was easy for me to see that you've been more to me than a best friend for a good amount of time. So yeah, I love you, C, and as Rio pointed out, it's obvious to anyone who sees me looking at you."

Carter doesn't respond right away, and I almost pull over so I can look at him and make sure he's okay. Thankfully, though, he doesn't stay silent for too long.

"How do you have this way of making things sound so simple?" he asks, placing his hand on top of mine and intertwining his fingers with mine.

I shrug. "I think it's because it's us. We've always made sense together, so it really is simple to me."

He squeezes my hand and nods. "I guess you're right. And to stop you from thinking otherwise, I love you too, B. I thought it was too soon, but you made me realize love has no timeline. It happens when it happens. And I'm really fucking glad that it's happening to us."

I chuckle and flash him a quick grin. "Me too, baby. Loving you is the easiest thing I've ever done."

"Should I send an email asking for a meet up with the coaching team this week?" he asks, and I nod.

"Yes, the sooner the better. I don't want to have to spend too much longer trying to keep myself in check around you."

He laughs as he pulls out his phone and sends a quick email. "Tell me about it. I honestly think keeping our relationship a secret will do more damage to the team than coming out."

"I've been thinking the exact same thing," I reply. "I was so distracted and out of it today that I barely learned anything. And it was more than just keeping my hands to myself. I was overthinking everything, making sure that I didn't clue anyone in on how I feel about you, and it made me act like a psycho. I'm sure people could tell something wasn't right with me today."

"I'm glad I wasn't the only one going crazy today," he tells me as I'm pulling into my parking spot.

Once the car is shut off, I lean over and give him a quick kiss. "How about tomorrow we try to act more like ourselves?" I check. "We won't kiss, hold hands, say I love you, or anything like that, but I think everything else should be fine. We've always been touchy and close, and when you think about it, we're a bit flirty, so I highly doubt that we'll tip anyone off if we go back to being like that."

Carter presses his lips together and tips his head from side to side. "That actually makes a lot of sense. Okay, tomorrow, we stop acting like crazy people."

I laugh and kiss him again before getting out of the car.

"Will you sleep in my bed tonight?" I check as we make our way to our apartment.

"What about Artie?" he questions unsurely.

"Why don't we tell him? He isn't going to blab, and it's going to be torture keeping my hands off you in our own home. If we're telling the coaches sometime this week one more person knowing shouldn't be a big deal, right?"

"When did you turn into the smart one?" Carter asks with a smirk.

I bump my shoulder into his while smiling. "I've always been the smart one. I just kept it hidden."

Carter chuckles as we reach the door. When we enter the apartment, we find Artie sitting in a recliner with his leg propped up and a book in his lap.

"Hey, guys. How'd your agent meeting go?" he questions, mentioning the lie we told him and making me feel like I got punched in the gut.

"About that," Carter starts, pausing to look at me, and I nod for him to continue. "We kind of lied to you."

Artie closes his book and stares at us as we walk toward him.

"Why would you lie about that? Did you go and get your dicks pierced or something?" he questions, putting an idea into my head, and I can't help but cast a quick glance at Carter, who only rolls his eyes at me before giving me a quick shake of his head. He might mean that as no , but I'm taking it as w e'll talk about it later .

"We didn't get our dicks pierced. We met up with Sasha," Carter tells Artie, who looks even more confused. "We didn't tell you because we were discussing our sponsor deal contracts with him. We wanted to find out exactly what was in our morality contracts…"

Artie tilts his head to the side like a confused puppy clearly still not following where Carter is going with this. "Are you doing anything immoral?" he questions, and I almost laugh.

"No, but some companies aren't exactly queer friendly," Carter tells him, but he still looks lost.

"Do you have a gay friend who wants to work with the same company?" he checks, and I shake my head.

"No, but recently, we both discovered we're bi and have decided to date each other," I tell him, grabbing Carter's hand. Artie's brows fly up, and he doesn't say anything right away, but then he bursts into laughter. "You two are so full of shit," he tells us while wheezing.

"We aren't lying about this," Carter states, not letting go of my hand. "I figured out I'm bisexual this summer, and after telling Brendon about my experiences and the new things I learned about sexuality, he also realized he wasn't straight. After we came to terms with our sexuality, we also discovered we have feelings for each other and decided not to fight it."

Artie blinks at us a couple of times before shrugging. "I feel like my mind should be blown right now, but it oddly makes a lot of fucking sense for you two to be together."

I chuckle and pull Carter to the couch where we both plop down at the same time and I wrap my arm around his shoulder.

"Did you find anything in the contracts to be concerned about?" he asks.

"Thankfully, no," I reply. "We chose some great companies to work for, and they are all pro-LGBTQIA2+."

"That's awesome," Artie states with a toothy grin. "So, are you going to publicly come out or what?"

"We want to keep things on the down low until after we get drafted to the NBA," Carter tells him. "We aren't ashamed of our relationship, but you know how the world of sports can be. We are going to have a meeting with the coaches to get them on our side, and we'll tell the rest of the team once practices start. But besides our close friends, family, and those that really need to know, we aren't going to be telling anyone else."

Artie nods. "Our coaches and teammates are cool. I don't think anyone is going to have any issues with you two being together." "That's our thoughts too. We also think everyone will be cool with everyone keeping our relationship to themselves," Carter says, and Artie mimes, locking his lips.

"You won't find me telling anyone. I'm not the kind of guy who goes around outing people."

"We figured you'd be cool that's why we wanted to tell you first," I say with a smile.

"So, how long have you two been a thing?" he checks.

"Like two days," Carter replies, making Artie laugh.

"Damn, you two move fast. Izzy and I haven't even made things official yet."

"I think it's different for us since we've been friends forever," I note.

Artie nods. "Yeah, actually that does make a difference. It's not like you have to go through the getting to know you stage."

"Nope, we're pretty much just adding things to our existing relationship. I don't think much is going to change for us besides the fact that we kiss now and, you know, do other things," I waggle my brows, making Carter groan and Artie laugh.

"Wait, what's changing?" Artie jokes. "Didn't you two kiss on Valentine's Day?"

"On the cheek!" Carter shouts, his ears a deep shade of red. "And it was a dare."

"It's okay, baby. You're allowed to admit your feelings for me now," I joke, leaning in to give him a quick peck on the lips.

He gives me a gentle shove, but there is a giant smile on his lips when we part.

"You guys are too cute together," Artie states. "It kind of makes me want to throw up."

We all laugh, and I notice just how much of a weight has been lifted off my shoulders from telling Artie. From the way Carter melts into me, I can tell he is at ease as well, for which I'm beyond grateful.

Coming out is going to be a process, but this first step feels beyond perfect. I have absolutely no regrets. I know things aren't always going to be this easy, and we will face backlash and hate eventually, but I refuse to let the assholes ruin what I'm feeling right now.

A yawn slips past Carter's lips, and I chuckle lightly. "I see someone else didn't sleep well last night. Think you have any energy left to get at least an hour of studying in?"

Carter nods with sleepy eyes. "I think I can manage an hour," he replies before standing.

"If studying is code for sex, remember that you have another roommate who really doesn't want to hear you two going at it," Artie calls out as we make our way down the hall.

"I'm glad we told him," Carter says, grabbing his backpack quickly before following me to my room.

"Me too, he's a good guy."

"Speaking of telling more people," Carter says as we sit on my bed. "Sammy responded to my text and said he can meet with us on Wednesday."

"Perfect. He's going to be another easy person to tell," I reply with a big grin, but Carter doesn't look as happy. "What's wrong?"

"Sammy is a great guy and is going to be happy for us, but not the entire world is going to feel the same way," he whispers.

"We've already been over this. Fuck what others have to say. Besides, it's not like we have to come out to the world," I remind him.

"You're not wrong, but if we aren't careful, someone could easily put us on blast. We both have decent followings, and people who follow college sports know our names. If someone who is homophobic finds out we're together, they could blow everything up."

"Yeah, but that's why we're telling Sammy, so he'll be able to get ahead of things," I point out.

"I know that, but I think what scares me the most is if we are publicly outed that it could put our careers at risk. You and I both know there aren't a lot of gay NBA players, at least not a lot that are out. What if the world finds out that we love each other, and everything we've worked for goes up in smoke."

Fear is written all over Carter's face, and I grab both of his hands, giving them a firm squeeze while I stare into his gorgeous eyes.

"It's a risk, but with you by my side, it's one I'm willing to take. Yes, my dream has always been to play for the NBA, but ultimately, I could live without it. What I can't live without is you. But obviously, your feelings matter too, C, so what do you want to do?"

"I can't live without you either," he whispers, warming my heart. "We can try to be discreet about our feelings for each other in public, but at the end of the day, it's going to be hard to hide it. If someone is a big enough dickwad that they want to out us, we'll just have to deal with it because I won't let them take you away from me."

I pull him into me and kiss him passionately, pouring all of my love into him to show him that we are worth the risk.