Chapter 17

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

CARTER

"Are you not even the slightest bit nervous?" I ask Brendon as we make our way to the head coach's office.

Thankfully the coaching team had availability today and we didn't have to wait to get this meeting over with. We want the coaches on our side as soon as possible.

As we get closer, I feel more anxious, but Brendon doesn't seem to be fazed at all. He's completely calm and collected right now, and I feel anything but. I'm sweating all over, and my heart is pounding ridiculously hard and fast in my chest. My skin is stupid itchy and it's taking all my strength not to claw at my arms to try to relieve its intensity.

"I mean, I'm curious to see what they are going to say, but I wouldn't say I'm overly nervous. We've played for these guys for three full years, going on four now. They know us and have always wanted the best for us. I know they are going to have our backs no matter what," he tells me in such a nonchalant way that is very typical of my best friend.

Brendon has always been the go with the flow guy never letting really anything bring him down. He's never cared about the opinions of others and never lets life stress him out. He's a very it will be what it will be kind of guy and I've always been envious of that.

I'm definitely a more calculated person. The unknown drives me crazy, and I care what others think about me even if I know I shouldn't. I'm easily stressed out, but Brendon has always helped balance me. He knows about my anxiety and does whatever he can to bring me back to a state of calm.

Brendon puts his hand on my shoulder, stopping me from walking farther, and I turn to face him.

"I get that this meeting is causing your anxiety to flare, and I hate that you have to go through that, but I'm right here with you. You're not alone in this, and if I have it my way, you'll never be alone again. Remember when we were ten, and I told you that you were stuck with me for life?" He pauses with a lifted brow, and I nod, a tiny smile forming on my lips. "I meant it. No matter what happens, I will always be by your side. You are my ride or die, and nothing will ever change that. No matter what happens in that office, I'm not going anywhere."

I close my eyes, inhaling deeply through my nose and blowing it out slowly through my mouth. When I open my eyes again, I'm met with the most beautiful amber ones staring back at me.

"Are you good, or do you need another minute to breathe?"

"I'm good," I assure him. "Thanks for helping me from going into a full-blown anxiety attack."

"That's what best friends are for," he tells me with a big grin.

"Oh, are we back to just being best friends?" I tease.

Brendon's eyes take on a new lustful stare as he shakes his head, then leans in to whisper into my ear. "Best friends don't do the things I want to do to you tonight."

The anxious energy that has been coursing through my veins is quickly replaced by one of desire and I almost want to hit Brendon for turning me on moments before we are going to meet with the coaching team.

I think Brendon picks up on my mix of emotions because he chuckles then winks at me before tilting his head. "Come on, we've got a meeting to get to."

"You drive me crazy," I grumble, which only makes my man laugh harder.

"Did you think that was going to change because we're dating now?" he asks in a hushed voice so others don't hear. "Because if you did, you were sorely mistaken. I still plan on teasing you and being the same exact self that I've always been. I meant what I said last night. Nothing is changing between us, we just get to add some really fun things to the mix."

I shake my head and can't help but laugh along with him this time. There is still an undertone of anxiety as we get closer to the office, but Brendon has done what he always does and helped me feel a lot more at ease.

I really hope he meant what he said and that no matter what happens, he'll always be by my side because I can't lose him.

"Hey guys," Coach Ron greets us when we get to his office. We shake his hand and the hands of the other coaches in the room before taking our seats. "What brings you two in today? Your email was a little vague."

I nod. "Sorry about that, but we thought it would be best if we had the entire conversation in person."

"If you're about to tell us you're quitting the team, we do not accept that, and we refuse to let you go," Coach Ron states firmly, bringing a smile to my face.

"We are absolutely not quitting," I assure him. "But we did want to bring something to your attention."

I pause, taking a deep breath, and Brendon mouths you've got this , to me, giving me the strength I need. I know B would take the lead if I wanted him to, but for some reason, I felt like it was important for me to tell the coaches about our relationship. Maybe that's because of my anxiety and being able to overcome this will make telling others a lot easier for me.

"Brendon and I have started dating," I tell the coaches, who don't say anything for a moment, and their faces give away absolutely nothing as well.

"That's it?" Coach Ron checks, and I nod.

"Yes, Sir. We wanted to tell you first because we also want to tell the team when practice starts, and we were hoping you'd have our back in case we faced any backlash."

The coaches start whispering among themselves, and my head spins a little until Brendon reaches over to grab my hand, offering me some of his strength. I shoot him a small smile, grateful that he is here and that we are doing this together.

"We appreciate you bringing this to our attention," Coach Ron starts with a comforting smile. We absolutely have your back, but are you planning on going public with your relationship or keeping it under wraps for a while?"

"We want to take things slow," Brendon tells him while still holding my hand. "We don't want to keep it a secret, but we also don't feel the need to blast it everywhere. We want to tell our team and our closest friends and family, but that's it for now."

Coach Ron nods. "I get that, and like I said, we stand behind you in this. You are both two amazing men and players and having you on our team has been a blessing. However, I also feel like it's my duty to remind you what might happen when you come out. Here at GSU, we are accepting and have built a place that is safe for the LGBTQIA2+ community, but unfortunately, the rest of the world isn't always so nice. I'm sure you two are aware that the sports world can be very homophobic, and by coming out, you could be impacting your chances of being drafted. There are NBA players who are out publicly, but not a lot, and I believe all of those who are out now came out after being drafted, not before. Again, we will always support you, but I wouldn't feel right not reminding you about what could happen if the world finds out you're together."

I nod, appreciating his honesty and glad that Brendon and I already had this conversation.

"We are aware that if the public finds out about our relationship that it could negatively affect our futures, but we both agree that it's worth the risk. We are meeting with our agent tomorrow and have faith that he'll be able to come up with a plan to mitigate things if we are outed or for whenever we decide to make our relationship public."

Coach Ron smiles. "I should have known you'd be a step ahead of me."

"Having anxiety and thinking about the worst possibilities in life sometimes is a positive thing," I joke, making everyone laugh.

"Well, with that all out there, then all I can say is that you two better be at your best when we start practicing because I want that championship win this year," Coach Ron says with a glint in his eyes.

"Yes, Sir," both Brendon and I say at the same time.

We shake everyone's hands again before leaving with giant grins on our faces.

"I told you that was going to be a good meeting," Brendon says as we make our way to our car.

"Go gloat somewhere else," I tease, and Brendon grabs me by the sides, tickling me and making me laugh so hard. "Shit. Stop. Uncle!" I shout.

Brendon lets me go with a shit eating grin on his face. "That will teach you not to try and get rid of me."

I shake my head at him but can't stop from beaming at him at the same time.

Brendon is a goofball, but he's my goofball. A life with him by my side is something that I'm really looking forward to.