Chapter 25

CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

Orla

I wanted to call in sick the next day.

I never took a sick day, well, I needed to be on death's doorstep for me to call in. As much as I wanted to hide out, burying my face under my blankets, the reality was, I couldn't walk away from this job. Seeing Fin would be unavoidable, so I just needed to deal with it. At the end of the day, I had a job to do, and I was a professional.

A professional whose eyes were still puffy from crying most of the night.

Once the emotions had busted through, it was like someone had shaken up a bottle of champagne, and I couldn't seem to stop crying. I cried for it all. For those I'd lost, for the little girl I'd been who'd desperately wanted family, for hurting Fin .

Because I had hurt him. I understood that now. Keeping my abilities from him was likely similar to how his father had hidden his life from Finlay. Even I could see the parallels, even if I hadn't hidden magick because I thought I was doing something bad. I just hadn't been ready to share it with him. Or anyone, really.

But one thing about a long night of crying, is you learn some hard truths about yourself. And in the bright light of morning, because yes, the sun insisted on shining this morning much to my annoyance, you can either backpedal and go back to what you've known, or you can make a change.

It was time for change.

Or so I'd told myself, but when I pulled up and saw Fin's truck in the car park, my stomach twisted. I'd even come early today, hoping to get immersed in work so I could take some time to get my bearings before I approached him. Because I couldn't avoid him forever and even if he was done with me, at the very least I hoped he'd hear my explanation.

Slamming my door, I made my way toward the construction site, but then paused. Tilting my head, I looked at the site, and then back at the car park.

That was odd.

Even though I was early, Derrick was usually on-site long before me. He liked to cut off work earlier than most so he could have a leisurely dinner with his wife, and I didn't mind in the slightest. Instead, the distillery was empty.

Nerves kicked up and I turned again, hands on my hips, and tried to sense if I was missing something. Was magick at play here? Much like yesterday when I'd walked into Marie's cottage and found another world, had I just done the same? Pressing my lips together, I wandered closer, uncertain of what to do.

A happy bark sounded, and I turned to the gardens.

"Harris!"

I dropped to my knees as Harris ran to me, barely containing his excitement, and the tears started again as he slathered my face with his big sloppy, wet, tongue. Apparently, I was a crier now, much to my chagrin.

"Buddy…what are you doing here? Who sprung you?"

Harris rolled over on his back, wiggling in the grass, and I scratched his tummy, loving how enthusiastic he was when he was outside the shelter. It was like he was a different dog entirely with an extra spring to his step. When he turned over and buried his head in my stomach, his collar caught my attention.

It was new, a dignified blue tartan, and had his name etched on the fabric.

"Buddy! A new collar. Aren't you fancy?" Running my hands along the collar, my breath caught as I found the tag. Twisting it, I flipped the metal tag to read the inscription.

"If lost, please contact Orla and Fin." I read the words out loud and then the tears really came on. Collapsing to the ground, I buried my face in Harris's fur and cried and cried.

When I lifted my head Fin was there, kneeling on the other side of Harris. He looked tired, dark smudges beneath his eyes, and still, impossibly perfect. Frankly, I couldn't believe he was kneeling in the grass, what with his trousers potentially getting dirty.

"Fin."

"Orla." Fin gave me a gentle smile.

"I'm—" My voice cracked, and I swallowed, forcing my eyes away from where I drank in the sight of him. "I'm confused. The tag here seems to indicate that Harris belongs to us."

"Aye, the lad has found his forever home."

Cue more tears.

"But … but … how?"

"We'll make it work. Together, Orla." Fin's voice was steady, and we both stroked Harris's back, the dog loving the attention.

"But work? We'll be away all day?—"

"I've been assured that Harris is welcome at the castle any time, much to Sir Buster's annoyance. Lady Lola didn't seem to mind, which might be why Sir Buster is annoyed."

I coughed out a laugh, wiping the tears with the back of my hand.

"And after? When this job is over?"

"He's a work dog. He'll come with us. Sleep in our lorries. Or we can drop him by the castle. Or some days he'll stay at home and sleep in a patch of sun on the rug. Either way, we'll figure it out."

"We will?" Hope bloomed.

"Aye, we will." Fin studied me, seeming to wait while my world recalibrated around a future with both him and Harris in it.

"Fin, I'm sorry," I rushed out.

"No, I'm sorry?— "

"No, please, let me." I needed to say what I had to say before he started talking. I'd rehearsed it enough that if I didn't get through it, I might go back on my resolve. And I'd drank my courage tea and cried all night and had a stern talking to about my future life choices, hadn't I? Now it was time for me to make good on my decision to shore up my life's foundation, so to speak.

"While I'm sorry for not telling you about my magick, so, so, so sorry … there's something I'm even more sorry for." I looked up as Fin's face fell, and I realized he was worried I was going to reveal something worse. "I should have been honest with you about my feelings."

"Oh." Fin stiffened.

"I love you," I hurried out before he could think the worst of me. "I've loved you for a while. You've been so good to me, saying it over and over, and still I held back. I was so scared that you would leave me, and if I didn't say it to you, well, then I'd be okay, you see? When you eventually left, I'd be able to tell myself that I never really loved you anyway. And that you didn't own my heart and weren't taking it with you when you left. But that would have been a lie, a lie I told myself, because it isn't true. Not even a little bit."

Fin's eyes were on mine, steady, gentle. Patient.

"See, I can feel it. Here." I was tapping my chest, as I usually did, understanding now that this was how I self-soothed. "I see now, that is what love is. I don't really own my heart anymore, so it doesn't matter how much I hide my love from you, it's yours anyway. You could leave or stay, and I'd have no say in it. My heart has decided. It knew, long before my head did, that you were it for me. And I'm trusting you with it, knowing that one day, yes, you could still go. But it's worth it to me, Fin. I want to take this chance. I don't want to be scared anymore. I don't want to worry that I'll be left alone and sad. You know what? I already have. And I survived that. And I could survive losing you in the future, but oh, God, please don't make me feel that pain."

"Orla." Fin reached for my hand, entwining my fingers with his in Harris's thick fur. "I understand. I'm not going anywhere. I bought a house here hoping you'd see that you're it for me. I'm not going anywhere, and you can't make me leave, no matter how many spells you do to try and get me to go."

I barked out a laugh. Was he really joking about this already?

"I don't know, I might be able to make you go."

"Maybe, but you wouldn't."

"No," I said softly, my eyes searching his. "I wouldn't."

"I wasn't leaving you yesterday, Orla. Not really. But I was angry. I am a surprisingly patient person, but sometimes I'm pushed to the edge. That was one of those times. I don't like to take my temper out on people, particularly with someone like you who has had a difficult past. I walked away so I could deal with my emotions. But being angry with you doesn't mean I'm going to leave you, Orla. You need to know that because it's going to happen. We're going to both make each other mad. I can be mad and also still love you. One doesn't cancel out the other."

My heart filled, the hope that bloomed spilling over, and all of a sudden the sun didn't seem so annoying anymore on this beautiful morning .

"I understand why you were upset. It wasn't fair of me to hide that part of myself from you. I know how much it hurt you when your father did the same. Even though I wasn't hiding it because I thought I was doing something wrong."

"So why did you then?" Fin asked, but again, his tone was gentle, unaccusatory.

"I was coming to terms with it myself. I…I don't know. I guess I was so used to not sharing about myself with people. And something as big and weird as this? Yeah, well, it wasn't like I was ready to shout it from the rooftops. I'm a witch, Fin. Historically, that hasn't always gone down well for people. It made me nervous, and I guess I wanted to be surer of myself before I shared it with you."

"That makes sense. Particularly since I had such a difficult time in the cottage when we first met."

"Something that you still didn't share with me," I pointed out to him, and Fin's face dropped.

"Well, shite. I didn't, did I? Now who was keeping secrets from whom? Och, I'm a real arsehole, aren't I?"

"Nope, not in the slightest. You didn't know me then. And trust me, after I met Marie, the ghost inside the cottage, I can understand why you didn't say anything."

"She was terrifying."

"She was my family."

Fin's fingers gripped mine.

"Is that the truth of it?"

"Aye. My own bloodline. She was put to death for witchcraft."

"Bloody hell." Fin looked away, shaking his head.

"Maybe it was instinctual not to say anything. "

"I don't doubt it. I'm sorry I took off. Truly. And in hopes you'll know that I'm with you—no matter what—I have a proposal for you."

"Sure, what's that?" I tilted my head, waiting for his proposition.

A mile-wide grin split Fin's face.

"Still not getting it, eh?"

"Getting what?" I looked around and when I looked back, Fin had a gold ring in his hand. My mouth dropped open and my heart hammered in my chest.

"Fin! Like an actual proposal?"

"I believe I was clear."

"Oh, oh my God. What am I supposed to say to that?" I tapped at my chest until Fin pulled my hand away and slipped the ring on my finger. I looked down to see a wide gold band with a Celtic chain design wrapped around the ring, a small diamond deeply inset in the middle, so it didn't raise off my hand. It was a perfect ring for a builder.

"When did you have time to make a ring?" I glared at him, suspicious, and he laughed.

"I made this weeks ago, Orla. I told you that I knew you were the one."

"Oh." Damn it, but he'd been showing me all along that he wasn't going anywhere, hadn't he? I held the ring to the light.

"A chain, as a symbol that I'm, quite literally, chaining my heart to yours. For life, Orla. If you'll have me?"

Harris turned his head and licked the ring, nudging my hand and making me laugh.

"Of course, I'll have you. Oh, this feels impossibly fast but also so right. Damn it, Fin. I love you so much. "

"I love you too and I'm not going anywhere. You're stuck with me for life."

And then his lips were on mine and I sunk into the kiss, my heart thundering in my chest, as giddiness swept me away. When loud cheers broke out behind me, I pulled back, gasping to see my entire crew, along with Sophie, Shona, Agnes, Lia, Willow, Hilda, Archie, and their respective partners all lined up with balloons and flowers.

"Did she say yes?" Sophie shouted and I laughed.

"I wasn't kissing the lass goodbye, was I now?"

"I hope not."

Harris jumped up, tearing across the lawn, delighted to meet everyone and be free from the shelter. Never had I seen a happier dog, free from the burdens of his past.

Just as I was, now that I was starting my new life with Fin by my side. Turning, I grinned at him.

"You're cleaning up his poop," I said.

"Absolutely not."

"We'll take turns."

"Nope, that wasn't in the deal."

"That's all part of it."

"Surely dogs only poop once a week."

I burst out laughing, feeling a lightness that I hadn't ever felt before, and for a brief moment my eyes caught on movement by the forest.

The Green Lady and Marie, walking side by side, smiles on their faces. Understanding dawned. The Green Lady had left me for someone who had needed her more. Tilting my head, I waved discreetly, and the Green Lady blew me a kiss before winking from sight.

I'd always wanted a dog .

I'd always wanted a partner.

And now I had both, because Fin got it.

He understood me. Which was incredible timing as I was just beginning to understand myself as well.

Most importantly, it seemed I'd finally found my way.