Chapter 31

thirty-one

. . .

River

There wasa knock on my office door, and I shouted for Cassie to come in. I was having a shit day. Hell, I was having a shit week. It had been four nights that I’d slept alone in my bed, and I didn’t fucking like it.

It used to be my favorite place.

Quiet and serene.

And now it felt cold and lonely.

I didn’t get lonely. I’d always thrived on being alone. Pitied the fuckers who couldn’t handle being by themselves.

And here I was—a sad, fucking pussy-whipped motherfucker.

“Hey, boss,” Cassie said, and I pinched the bridge of my nose because I’d asked her no less than eight million fucking times not to call me boss. “Your grandmother is on the line, and I’m going to head out. It’s late. You should think about leaving soon, too,” Cassie said.

“Have a good night,” was all I said.

“Are you okay?” she asked. “You seem a little grumpier than usual.”

“I’m fine.” I nodded. She turned to leave, and I realized I’d been a real dick lately, and she hadn’t let anyone in without an appointment in more than three weeks. “Hey, Cassie.”

“Yeah?” She turned around to face me.

“You’ve done a good job not allowing people to just stop by these last few weeks. I’ve noticed, and I appreciate it.”

She smiled ridiculously big. Had I never complimented her?

“Well, Ruby gave me a tip on how to stop letting people walk all over me regarding the appointments when she brought you lunch a few weeks ago.”

“What did she say?”

“She said that you’d worked really hard for your practice and that you were the best lawyer she knew. She said that with me being your assistant, I should know that and protect it so you can do your job.”

Fuck me. I did not see that coming.

“I told you to send them away dozens of times. All you had to hear was that I was good at my job?” A sarcastic chuckle left my mouth because it was ridiculous, yet my chest puffed up with pride that Ruby had gone to bat for me.

“Well, you’re always growling at me, and it makes me nervous, I guess. Ruby just said it plain as day, as if it were common knowledge. And it made sense. So, there you go.” She shrugged.

“All right. I better get this call. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

I picked up the phone. “Hey, Grammie.”

“Hello, my boy. Why are you still at work?”

“Because I’m busy,” I said.

And I don’t want to go home because all I do is think about her.

She was leaving. I’d get over it. But right now, I needed to stay busy.

“Ahhh… Ruby came by to see me yesterday. She stopped by on her way to say goodbye to the kids at Fresh Start. Have you said goodbye to her yet?”

“She hasn’t left yet, so no. And I haven’t seen her in a few days.”

“Yes, she mentioned that,” Grammie said, and I wanted to know more.

“What did she say?”

“She said that she hadn’t seen you and that maybe it was better that way because she was leaving.”

“Typical Ruby. She’s always psychoanalyzing everything.”

“I think owning it is better than denying how you feel.”

“I’ve got news for you,” I said, leaning back in my chair. “You can own it and be in denial at the same time. That girl thinks she knows everything, and she’s more in denial than I am.”

There. I said it. It was the truth.

“And what exactly is she in denial about?” she pressed, because that was my grandmother’s favorite thing to do.

“She’s running away. She likes to analyze everyone around her, but she’s afraid to look in the goddamn mirror. Afraid to admit how she feels. Not the best quality for a doctor of psychology,” I hissed.

“Spoken like a man who knows what he’s talking about. Maybe you’re in denial, too?”

I groaned. I’d set her up for this conversation, and she was going to enjoy it. “Listen, I’m not in denial. I have always said exactly how I feel. And I was honest with her in the beginning, but then things changed. I haven’t said anything because I don’t want to pressure her to stay. I want her to want to stay. I was giving her time to figure her shit out.”

My grandmother was quiet on the other end for a moment before she finally spoke. “Sometimes, people need more. She’s not had a lot of people take care of her, River. She might not know how you feel,” she said.

“How could she not know? She’s a smart woman.” And she knows, because I’d written her a note and let her know. And then what did she do? She shut me out. I never heard from her again.

I’m sure I’d freaked her the fuck out.

“And you’re a smart man, yet you don’t seem to know how she feels. Why don’t you stop being a stubborn ass and be the one to take the first step? Just tell her how you feel. What do you have to lose?”

I ran a hand through my hair. “I did. I wrote her a note, and it clearly freaked her out.”

“Really? You wrote her a love letter? I’m impressed.”

“Well, don’t get too excited. It was a sticky note. I put it at the end of the contract so she’d see it before she signed it. Clearly, she saw it. She signed it. And she’s avoided me ever since.”

“River Pierce. Did I raise you to be a coward? You wrote it on a sticky note?”

“Hey. I put myself out there. I’m a man of few words, but at least I had the balls to say how I feel.”

“That’s not how a woman wants to hear from a man. Go down and talk to her face-to-face. Stop being a baby. You’ve never been afraid of anything. Don’t start now.”

What the hell was happening? Had everyone lost their goddamn minds lately?

“I don’t need any more advice on this. I’m good. I need to go. I’ll come see you this week.”

“I love you,” she said.

“Love you, too.”

“See, was that so difficult to say? Those three little words.” She chuckled, and I shook my head with disbelief.

“Goodbye.” I ended the call and looked down to see the group text I’d been ignoring all day going off, per usual.

I quickly caught up on all the mundane shit we talked about. Kingston and Nash went on and on about the renovation at the Silvertons’ house, and how Walter Silverton answered the door stark naked. That conversation got a bunch of endless memes and emojis. And not in a good way.

Hayes told us about a bullshit call for a fire last night from Suzie Walters who simply wanted someone to come over and change the batteries in her smoke detector.

Kingston said how hot she was and that he’d change her batteries anytime.

Normally, I’d find this shit funny, but I wasn’t in the mood today. But the next one caught my eye.

Nash

Cutler has back-to-school night next week, and he wants everyone there to meet his new teacher. I didn’t have the heart to tell him that Ruby wouldn’t be here next week. Are we going to do a barbecue or something before she leaves so we can all say goodbye? You know how Cutler is. He’s going to lose his shit after she’s gone.

Kingston

I don’t think he’s the only one. Are you still being a stubborn prick, brother?

Romeo

Everyone deals with things differently. Let him work through it.

Hayes

This is going to shock the shit out of all of you… but I’m with King on this one. Stop being a dumbass and tell the girl how you feel before she leaves.

Kingston

Well, looky here. Even a blind squirrel finds his nuts every once in a while. Apparently, today is my day. Even Hayes is on my side. Come on, Golden Boy and Nash. Jump on the King train.

Romeo

You are one crazy fucker. I’m fairly certain you ruined that saying. The blind squirrel finds a NUT, not HIS NUTS. <head exploding emoji> And I’m on your side, too. I want him to tell her how he feels, but I think he should do it in his own way. His own time.

Nash

Fuck. I don’t know who I’m siding with on this one. You’re all making good points.

That’s because they’re saying the same fucking thing. I get it. You want me to tell her how I feel. Do we not remember the fucking sticky note? Wasn’t that Kingston’s goddamn idea?

Hayes

I never got on board with professing your love on a sticky note.

Nash

The problem with writing it in a note, and one that is unusually small, is that you don’t know if she got it. And it’s not like you have the neatest handwriting.

Romeo

I liked the note better than King’s first idea, which was tattooing it on his chest and tearing his shirt off.

Hayes

That was definitely a little much. Most of King’s ideas suck.

Kingston

Hey, now. Un-fucking-true, you dick weasels. The tattoo was a stretch, but Ruby’s the kind of girl you go big with. The sticky note seems to have flopped, but we don’t know for sure if she saw it, right?

Of course, she fucking saw it. She had to have signed the contract by now. She’s moving in two days. She said goodbye to Grammie and the kids at Fresh Start yesterday. Obviously, she saw the note. It probably freaked her the fuck out. I should have explained it.

Kingston

How do you explain it? I love you kind of says it all, right?

Romeo

You do realize you’re taking advice from a man who’s never been in a relationship, right? No offense, King.

Hayes

That’s a very good point.

Nash

We should have killed the sticky note idea right away.

Kingston

Let’s all shoot the fucking messenger. I’m the only one getting shit done. None of you bring anything to the table. <middle finger emoji>

Hayes

Romeo is proposing to his girl, so why don’t we let him throw an idea into the hat?

Kingston

Let’s hear it, Golden Boy.

Romeo

Well, you could just go down to the bar and tell her how you feel. It would be a lot easier than wondering if she got the note.

Nash

This is a better plan.

Kingston

Hindsight and all that, you judgy fuckers.

I’m done with this conversation. I’ll check back in later.

My phone continued vibrating, but I shoved it into my pocket and decided to take the goddamn bull by the horns. I’d never been afraid of anything, and I sure as shit was not afraid of Ruby Rose.

What do I have to lose at this point?

I walked the short distance to Whiskey Falls and pulled open the door. Evie shouted my name, her words already slurring from where she sat with a few of her friends. I held up my hand to briefly acknowledge her as my eyes scanned the bar. No sign of Ruby.

Doreen was behind the bar, and I walked over to her.

“Hey, River, what can I get you?”

“Nothing for now. I thought Ruby was working the night shift tonight?”

“Yeah. She asked me to stay on late because her friend is here, and they’ve been in the back talking for the last hour. Maybe he’s here to help with her move? I don’t know, but if you want to tell her to hurry up, that would be great. My feet are killing me, and I’d love to clock out.”

My shoulders stiffened.

He’s here to help with her move.

“Who is the dude she’s with?” I asked, as she stood at the tap, filling a few beer glasses for an order.

“Some guy named Dereck. He’s from the city, I think.”

The fucking professor.

Well, that didn’t take long.

I stormed behind the bar, pushing open the double doors to the kitchen and barreling through like a man on a mission. I nodded at Calvin, who was cooking, and strolled toward the stairs, assuming they were in her office.

The place I’d first been with her.

But I startled when I found them in the corner of the kitchen, her back against the wall, looking like she was trying to convince him of something.

He appeared to be pretty devastated, and she was comforting him like she felt bad about something.

I’ll bet she fucking did.

Had they been together this whole time while she’d been fucking around with me?

And now she was going back to her old life.

Back to her routine, with her boring-ass boyfriend who probably had old man balls.

“What the fuck is going on here?” I barked, and they both startled.

Highlight of my day was seeing this motherfucker squirm as he took me in.

“What the hell are you doing?” Ruby narrowed her gaze at me as I moved toward them like a goddamn stormtrooper on a mission.

“Who do we have here?” I said, my voice smooth and calm, even though I was ready to rip his head from his body. He wore a goddamn polo shirt and khaki pants, and his hair was cut short like he was in the military.

This was the dude she was going back to?

“Hey, I’m Dereck Hamilton,” he said, and even his voice was pretentious. He had a slight East Coast Ivy League twang that made him seem like he was better than the rest of us. He extended his hand, and I stared down at it.

“Put your hand away, Professor.”

He raised a brow, as if the man had never had anyone deny him anything.

And clearly, the woman I loved wasn’t denying him either.

“River, you’re being an ass.”

“Oh, well, you didn’t seem to have a problem with my ass over the last two months, did you?” I smirked.

Her cheeks flamed red, as if she couldn’t believe I was saying it aloud.

Yeah, buckle up, Queenie. I’m just getting started.

Rage and anger and something foreign I wasn’t used to coursed through my veins.

Maybe disappointment.

Hurt.

I wasn’t sure, because the only way I knew how to respond was to hit back.

She’d wounded me, and I wasn’t going down without fighting back.

Professor Douchebag looked at her like he wanted to swoop in and save her, and that only infuriated me more.

That wasn’t his fucking job.

“Dereck.” Ruby’s voice cut through the anger buzzing in my ears, and a knife sliced me in the chest at the sound of her calling out to him, even while I stood here, clearly upset. “Can you go out to the bar? I’ll be there in a few minutes.”

“You sure you’re okay?” Dereck asked, and my hands fisted.

“Is she okay? Are you fucking kidding me? Why don’t you go pour yourself a nice glass of chardonnay and order a few more polo shirts on your phone, you pretentious prick.”

The professor didn’t even appear offended. He looked—disappointed, as if he couldn’t believe I would speak to him that way.

He had no idea how ugly this could get.

“Oh my god, what is wrong with you?” Ruby grabbed my forearm and turned me to face her, as her boyfriend did what she told him to do and left the kitchen.

“What’s wrong with me? What the fuck is wrong with you? Jesus. I’m an asshole, and even I wouldn’t move on this quickly after all the time we’ve spent together.”

She sighed, her eyes showing the hurt she rarely showed. “All right, River. Give me your best. What is it you think I’ve done wrong?”

Un-fucking-believable.

She was just going to let me give it to her and act as if she was innocent here?

“Oh, you’d like that, wouldn’t you?” I leaned in close to her, my face just inches from hers. “Then you could leave Magnolia Falls feeling like the good guy and act like you had a valid reason for hating me.”

“I don’t hate you,” she said as she met my gaze.

“Yeah. We’re fine, right? You’ve got your boyfriend here, and you’re moving the fuck on. And that’s if anything you’ve ever told me was the fucking truth.”

Her chin tipped up, eyes hardening now, preparing for battle. “What wasn’t I truthful about?”

“Have you been with him this whole time? Does your boyfriend think you were here taking care of your father while you’ve been in my bed? And now you’re jumping right back into his, huh? You’ve played me the whole fucking time.” I spewed my anger, wanting to get a reaction out of her.

Needing a fucking reaction out of her.

But she was giving me nothing.

“Are you done?” she asked, as a tear ran down her cheek.

“I’m so fucking done.” I stepped back, my finger pointing in her face. “I guess you got the last laugh. But at least you warned me, didn’t you?”

“I warned you about what?” She swiped at her cheeks, and she glared at me.

“Rule number one. No catching feelings. I guess the evil queen was the only one still playing the game.” I stepped back, my gaze locked with hers. “And don’t let that sticky note go to your head. It didn’t mean shit. Have a nice life.”

“Fuck you, River,” she said, anger radiating off her hot little body.

“Well, you’ve already done that. But I’m sure there are plenty of women out there who would like to take their shot and leave with me right now.” I turned and walked out of the kitchen, and people were staring as if they’d heard the fight going on.

Evie was right there, waiting for me.

She reached for my hand and walked beside me toward the exit. I flipped the preppy professor the bird as I passed him, and he just sat there with his wineglass, gaping at me.

When I got to the door, I turned around and found those hazel eyes on me. They were sapphire blue tonight with gold rings around them.

Angry. Hurt. Confused.

Good. I hope she felt a little bit of the pain that I felt.

I needed her to feel something, or it meant that none of this was real.

“You okay?” Evie asked as I pushed through the door, and we made our way outside.

“I will be.” I dropped her hand. “But I need to be alone right now. I appreciate you being there, though.”

She nodded. “I know you do. I just didn’t want you to walk out of there alone.”

“Thanks.” I held up a hand as I stepped back. “Take care, Evie.”

I watched as her friends came walking out of the bar and told her they were heading to the Golden Goose to grab some food, and she fell in line beside them.

I pulled out my phone and opened the group chat and texted my boys.

I need you.

I knew that was all I had to say. When I got to my house, they were already there.

Ride or die.