10. Mackenna

10

MACKENNA

I 'm unable to speak. I know what I want to say to Reid, but it's like my mouth can't form the words. And because words fail me, I kiss him again. I slide my hands around his gorgeous face and press my lips to his and kiss him—and, all the while, my heart bangs wildly away in my chest.

Reid and I are still lip-locked when the alarm goes off on my phone. The trill sounds sharper than usual, more urgent. Reluctantly, I pull my mouth from his. "Sorry, I—um?—"

"You have to give the owl her meds," Reid says, giving me an understanding and yet somehow deeply sexy smile. "I know."

I don't want to leave him. Of all the moments to be interrupted, this is the worst.

But I also still can't say what I want to say.

As I rush away, Reid's words echo through my mind. I'm in a daze as I prep the meds in the office and hurry over to the owl enclosure. In my current state, it takes great effort to do even the simplest things.

Reid loves me. The words shimmer like magic through me. I swallow back the emotion in my throat, fumbling with the lock on the enclosure door. He loves me. I step into the enclosure and call out a soft greeting to the owls. Kiki eyes me as I approach, cautious but compliant as I coax her toward me.

"Good girl," I say, gently wrapping a towel around her body so I can cradle her in my lap and administer the syringe full of medicine. When I release her, she ruffles her feathers and then settles back on her favorite branch.

Reid loves me.

My heart is still pounding away. I'm full of so much happiness right now. But I'm also overwhelmed with… something… else. I don't even know what this other feeling is. Anxiety? Fear? Doubt?

No. It's not doubt. The feelings I have for Reid are real. I know that much is true.

I look up and notice that Kiki is still intently gazing at me. She looks more curious now, as if she's wondering what's on my mind. Logically, I know that it's far more likely that she's just wondering why I'm still standing here inside the enclosure, but it feels more sympathetic than that.

"What's wrong with me, Kiki?" I ask with a sigh. "Why couldn't I tell him how I feel?"

But the owl, of course, doesn't reply.

I leave the enclosure, handling the lock harder than necessary out of the frustration I feel toward myself. As I walk across the sanctuary grounds, the last several weeks play through my mind. I think of all the kisses Reid and I have shared. All the pleasure he's given me. All the times he's made me laugh until my sides hurt.

And he's given so much of his time to the sanctuary. All of which is time he could have been renovating his house.

The more I think about it, the more guilt rises to the surface of my emotions, until it's spilling over everything else.

"This place is amazing. I'm not just saying that to stroke your ego. This is basically my dream job."

I laugh, beaming at my interviewee's compliment. "Thank you. It means a lot to hear you say that."

I just met Sara about an hour ago, but I can tell that she and I would get along wonderfully if she came to work at the sanctuary. Our personalities mesh well, and she's exactly the kind of person I've been hoping to hire—easygoing, experienced, and a hard worker.

"You said you're looking for someone to start right away, right?" she asks.

I nod. That's what I put in the ad that I posted online. "Yes. That would be ideal."

"Okay. Cool." Sara glances around. "I can't believe you've been doing this all on your own."

"Oh, I haven't, actually," I say. "I've been getting a ton of help from my boyfriend."

The word boyfriend slips out without warning. Not that Sara knows any better, but still.

"Wow," she says. "He must love animals as much as you."

"He's not much of an animal person, actually. He's just a great guy."

"Sounds like he's a keeper."

I smile. "Definitely." I steer us toward the parking area, bringing Sara back to her car. "Thanks so much for coming by, Sara. It was a pleasure meeting you. I'll be in contact soon."

"Sounds great. Bye, Mackenna."

I wave as she drives off. As soon as she's out of sight, I check my watch and see that it's almost three o'clock. And three o'clock is when Reid always comes by.

I try to distract myself by going into the office and ordering some supplies I'm running low on. But I keep typing the wrong product codes into the website, and when I go to the cart to check out, I realize I've screwed up the amounts.

I hear the sound of Reid's tires crunching over the gravel as I'm putting the corrected order through. My heart jumping with nerves, I walk out of the office to say hi to him.

"Hey you," he greets me, a warm smile on his ridiculously handsome face. He comes over and kisses me, a kiss that should be nothing but goodness but that instead makes me ache with sorrow over my inability to give Reid what he deserves.

"Do you have a minute to talk?" I ask.

"Of course. What's up?"

I clear my throat. "I found someone who's a good fit for the sanctuary. Her name is Sara. I'm going to offer her a job."

He nods. "Okay. Cool."

"You aren't upset?" I ask.

"Why would I be upset?"

I worry my lip between my teeth. "I've been worried you'll feel like I'm replacing you and pushing you away."

"Just because you're hiring someone, that doesn't mean I can't still come around, right?" he says.

I shake my head. "You've given so much time to the sanctuary, Reid. Too much."

"Too much?" His eyebrows dip together as he studies me. "Did I do something wrong?"

"No. Not at all."

"Are you sure, Mackenna? If I messed up, I want to know."

"You didn't mess up. You've been great, Reid. So great." I take a breath. "I just hate that I've been taking you away from working on your house. You should be over there, not here."

A softness comes into his eyes. He shifts closer to me and cups the side of my face with his warm, large hand. "Don't you know why I bought that property in the first place? I wanted to make a life that I'd always dreamed of. Peace and quiet and solitude. But when I met you, Mackenna, that dream started to change. I want something entirely different now. I want a life full of you . I want to spend my days making you happy, and I want to give you everything you ever dreamed of. You're the most important thing to me now."

I'm so moved by his words, I almost can't breathe.

"I love you," I blurt out. "I'm sorry I didn't say it before. I felt it. Oh, God, I felt it. I was just so scared to actually say it. But it's how I feel. I love you, Reid."

A smile spreads across his lips. "You do?"

I nod, chewing on my lip, feeling more vulnerable than I ever have in my whole life. Even though he's the one who said them first, it's still terrifying to say those three little words.

"I love you, too." He closes the remaining space between us and takes me in his arms, pulling my curves snugly against him. "Mackenna Hale, I'm fully, completely, irreversibly in love with you."

For the first time in my life, I feel like crying with happiness.

"I called you my boyfriend today," I admit nervously. "Is that okay?"

"It's more than okay."

He leans down to angle his lips against mine. And despite all the times we've kissed before, this one feels like a first kiss. In a way, I suppose it is. It's our first kiss full of admitted love. It's the first of many, many more love-filled kisses.

Maybe even a lifetime's worth.

And judging by the way Reid looks at me when we come up for air, I can tell he feels it too.