9. Reid

9

REID

I thought I couldn't get Mackenna off my mind before, but now I know that was nothing. This, right here, is what it's like to be consumed by a woman: I've been standing outside my house for who knows how long, staring at the unfinished walls, unable to decide whether I should add another window or not.

Would she like a window there?

Am I crazy for wanting to make changes to my house for her?

More importantly, am I crazy for wanting to spend every waking moment satisfying her every need?

Sighing, I rip off my tool belt and toss it aside. If I can't make progress here at the house, I may as well make myself useful and get some things done back in town.

I get in my truck and make a wide turn over the dirt as I turn around. Thirty minutes later, I'm pulling into a parking spot in front of the bank. I'm getting out of my truck when I spot a familiar face coming up the sidewalk.

The sight of Justin makes me angry all over again for what he tried to do.

Justin notices me as I'm walking around the front of my truck. His feet slow, and mine keep going.

"Look, man," he says, holding up his hands. "I'm staying away from her."

"Yeah, you better fucking stay away." I shake my head. "Can I give you some advice? Cut out the scumbag shit and be a decent person from now on."

He nods, looking too scared to challenge me. "Yep. You're right."

I wait to see if he has anything else to say, and when he doesn't, I start toward the bank. Justin quickly moves out of my way, his footsteps hurried as he walks in the opposite direction.

I get my errands done within an hour, and then I drive over to my apartment. But being there isn't any better than being out at the new property. I can't get Mackenna off my mind. I keep thinking about the feisty looks she gives me, and how unbelievable it felt to be inside her, and how close I came to filling her womb with my seed.

Is this urge within me just a thing that gets me off?

Or is it something more? Something real?

I don't know how I'm supposed to figure it out. I'd ask Shaw, but I don't even know how to bring it up. It feels like something I shouldn't admit. Yeah, you know my pretty neighbor? I have an insatiable desire to impregnate her. What do you think, man? Is it just a fetish I never knew I had? Or do I want it for real?

I slide my phone out of my pocket and start to type the question into a search engine, but then close the tab before I can finish typing the words.

And then, instead, I text Mackenna to ask if she's given any more thought to my offer to help out around the sanctuary.

She gives me the easy stuff first. Feeding the animals, cleaning their enclosures, throwing dirty towels in the wash. For two weeks, that's all I do. It's grunt work, but I'm happy to do whatever I can do to help lighten her workload.

It's funny, though. The more time I spend there, the more I look forward to my daily rounds. And it's not just because I get to see Mackenna's sweet smile every day.

I can't believe I'm saying this, but it's nice to see the animals, too.

I know they perk up when I come around because they associate me with food now. That's all it is. They aren't excited to see me . But when they run over and greet me, making all their little happy noises, it feels…rewarding. Fulfilling.

I'll never be as passionate about all of this as she is. But I see it on a deeper level now. I see her on a deeper level. Every time I look at her now, I notice little things I overlooked before. Like the different ways her eyes crinkle with different kinds of delight. The subtle reddish sheen to her hair when the sun hits it just right. The way she always rubs the same spot on her elbow when she's mulling something over.

Every day, I notice something new. Every day, my affection for her unfolds more and more.

And every time I'm deep inside her, it becomes harder and harder to stop myself in time.

Three weeks in, Mackenna asks if I'm interested in doing some behavioral training with the foxes. I'm finishing up cleaning the owl enclosure when she asks me, and I must look surprised by her question, because she laughs and says, "You don't have to say yes."

"I'm here for whatever you need help with," I say, turning off the hose I was using before stepping out of the enclosure and locking it behind me.

"This isn't really a matter of need," Mackenna says. "I just thought it might be something you would be interested in. I can tell you like the foxes."

I'm amused by her comment. She isn't wrong. Not to play favorites, but seeing the foxes is generally the best part of the rounds I make here every day.

"What kind of behavioral training are we talking about?" I ask as Mackenna and I start to walk together. "I haven't noticed them misbehaving."

Mackenna laughs. "No, it's not that. It's for healthcare management. As you've seen, they're skittish when anyone enters their enclosure, and that makes it harder and more stressful when they need medical care. The goal is to get them more comfortable around people. Justin was working on getting them to extend a paw and set it in his hand, but he never quite succeeded. So, if you're interested, I was thinking you could try."

"Sure. I can give it a shot."

When we reach the fox enclosure, Mackenna and I enter together. The foxes watch us cautiously from the other end, keeping their distance even as we crouch down to make ourselves less threatening.

"What now?" I ask.

"Encourage them to come over. Here," she says, tucking a little bag of treats into my hand. "This will help."

I call out to Wicky and Hazel in a soft, reassuring voice—not a way of speaking that comes naturally to me at all—tossing a few treats halfway between us to motivate them. Wicky pads over to eat one of the treats, but then immediately rushes away. Hazel, on the other hand, sniffs out the treat more slowly, but then remains standing where she is.

"Good stuff, huh? Here, Hazel," I say, tossing another treat between us.

Four treats later, the little fox is only a foot away from me. It's incredible to see her so close-up. Her rust-colored fur looks denser and silkier than I expected, and her eyes are surprisingly variegated in color.

"See if she'll eat one out of your hand," Mackenna whispers, her hushed voice brimming with excitement.

But when I hold out a treat in my palm, Hazel decides I've pushed too far. She dashes away, rushing back to the safety of the other side of the enclosure.

"Shit," I mutter.

"No, Reid, that was great," Mackenna says as we stand up and move toward the exit. "I'm impressed that she came as close as she did. That kind of trust can take a long time to build."

"I'll try again tomorrow."

"That'd be lovely, if you have time. But please don't feel discouraged if it takes a while to progress. It could take weeks, even months, to—" She abruptly cuts herself off as we step out of the enclosure. "Not that I expect you to come around here for months. I'm working on hiring someone new."

"There's no rush. I like helping out around here."

She smiles at me. It's one of those glittering smiles of hers. "I know I say this to you every day, but it really does mean the world to me. Someday I'm going to make it up to you. I promise."

"There's nothing for you to make up," I say seriously. "I'm doing it because I want to be here."

Her expression turns teasing. "You just like the perk of getting laid every night."

Before I can respond, she moves in close and kisses me. It's a quick, sweet kiss, but I catch her by the waist and pull her in for another one, slower this time. She exhales softly and relaxes into it, pressing her curves against me.

And in that moment, I know. The clarity I've been searching for is right here in front of me.

Pulling my lips from hers, I look deep into her eyes.

"I'm crazy about you, Mackenna," I say, my chest thundering. "Like…in-love-with-you crazy about you."