Chapter 50

Wade

Another week has passed and it's been a month since the news broke of my parentage. Something I don't think I'll ever get over.

I haven't slept in days, barely eaten.

My body is exhausted and yet sleep evades me.

I feel guilty, broken, lost, alone.

I was feeling great.

Until I was knocked off my high flying mood.

My life was too good to be true.

Too perfect.

I became cocky.

Too confident.

I felt invincible before discovering Marcus was my father.

I was wrong about everything starting to feel good again. Because for me, nothing ever lasts. All my happy feelings have disappeared without a trace.

Everyone is better off without me being around. All I have done is cause pain.

I'm the mistake that should never have been.

The secret no one cared for and no one wanted.

Unlike when Gretchen died, when I was angry as hell, it's like an odd blanket of fuzzy, blurred numbness has wrapped around me.

I have no fight left.

The sound of footsteps storming down the wooden walkway I spent hours clearing the snow from this morning alerts me to someone's presence. Temperatures fell below zero last night. It's cold, but I don't feel cold or hot. I feel nothing and everything.

"Are you going to hide away here forever, then? Is that your plan?" A woman, wearing dark glasses, wrapped in a huge, insulated jacket, and dripping in gold jewelry, walks confidently down the boardwalk I'm sitting at the end of.

"Nicki?"

"How long are you going to stay here feeling sorry for yourself?" Nicki pushes her sunglasses onto the top of her head, making her squint from the low winter sun. "Great view though. I can see the appeal."

I don't want to speak to or see anyone. Betrayal has invaded my body, poisoning every thought I have about the people I thought I could trust.

Every day I've wondered if Gretchen knew. Perhaps she did. And now I can never ask her.

I've spent the weeks since it happened questioning every conversation, every interaction between me, Marcus, and Kali. God, that stings more than anything.

She said she was protecting me; it doesn't feel like that.

And Zane? Did he treat me the way he did, hated me, because he knew?

Nicki speaks again and gets straight to the point. "You were three when Ritchie, Lola's father, discovered Miranda was having an affair with my husband. They were best friends, business partners." She sits down beside me, using her long jacket to protect her backside against the cold wood. "Their affair started way before you came along. Deep down, I knew, but brushed it away under the carpet. I was young and stupid, thinking he would change. I was pregnant at the time, and I thought when Zane came along, he would stop. He didn't. My father would have gone berserk had he discovered Marcus was sleeping with his business partner's wife. My father, Arthur Burns, was a ruthless man. Marcus and I were sworn to each other long before we could walk. Our marriage was more of a business arrangement than anything else." She sighs. "I knew what I was getting myself into. I'm far from na?ve, Wade."

"You knew?" And yet she put up with it.

"About her? Yes. For years. They fooled around in college, and I thought it would fizzle out. Then when we got married, it continued. I was devastated but I clearly didn't make him very happy, but she did… for a while. Their affair stopped over a decade ago, and I can pinpoint the exact day because it's when he started making an effort with me, that's how I knew, felt it in my gut too. Things got slightly better between us but I could never forgive him. He loves me. I know he does, in his own weird way." She takes a deep breath in then continues, "So while I knew about the affair, to answer your question of, did I know about you? No, Wade, I didn't. You were a complete surprise to me."

"I was a mistake." My words come out as a whisper. I sound as lost as I feel.

"You were not a mistake, Wade, you were meant for a reason."

"She hated me."

"I know. Well, now I know. Lola and Kali told me everything." She pauses when I flinch at the mention of Kali's name. Nicki pats my hand. "He didn't know how badly she treated you until recently. And with regards to Kali. I know you're hurt and feel like she betrayed you, but you'll eventually see what she did for you was for the best. She was protecting your heart. I'll give you some time to mull that over."

How long do I have?

She continues, "Miranda Collins was cut from a different cloth. But you, my boy, were cut from something finer. You were born for greatness. You have Edwards' genes. Which you'll accept with time. Your grandfather, Marcus's father, was a legend. Faithful, loyal. Unlike your father." She squeezes my hand. "That's his guilt he's burdened with, not mine. Or yours."

I know who Roy Edwards was. Both him and Nicki's father, Arthur Burns, made the Eagles what they are today.

"I know you think this is all a bit of a mess, Wade, but I would like to offer my hand to you and welcome you to the family. I can't promise it will be easy, because it won't. We have a mountain of emotional damage to scale. But we can all do that together."

"Together?"

I follow her gaze to the decking and standing there are Lola, Marcus, and Zane.

"I won't let you go through this alone. We are your family."

"Are you not humiliated by what Marcus and Miranda did?" I'm finding it hard to get over.

"No. I did nothing wrong, and neither did you. Me, you, Lola, Zane, we're all innocent. As is Kali. Who, by the way, refused to take any more money from Marcus to work with you the minute she discovered the truth."

"She didn't take any money?"

"No, she's been working for free since she found out."

"But she didn't tell me about Marcus as soon as she found out."

"Did you not listen to a single word she said? God, you really are a stubborn old mule. You're just like your father. Definitely an Edwards." Nicki pushes her feet under her and stands to her full height, then starts to walk back in the direction of the house. "Get up then," she calls back.

"Can I ask you something first?"

"Anything."

I clamber to my feet and slowly walk over to her. "Did he create a place on the team for me?"

"No."

I'm not sure if I believe her. "I made the team myself?"

"It was all you."

I narrow my gaze, looking for any sign that she's covering for him. "You sure?"

"One thing I am not, Wade, is a liar. You were drafted because you are talented. As is your brother."

Brother. Ouch, that's going to take some getting used to.

She adds, "He has also been a bit of a dick and is as stubborn as a mule. You two clash and fight like brothers. I don't know why I didn't see it before now. Whatever did I do to deserve three stubborn Edwards' boys, huh?" she drawls as if talking to herself. "It's lucky I inherited Lola to balance you out."

She holds her arm out like the handle of a teapot for me to loop mine through. "Let's make the family great again. And you might just inherit yourself a hockey team, Wade Edwards. Or Collins. Whatever you want to call yourself is fine by us."

Wade Edwards.

That doesn't sound quite right.

I scoff as she pulls me in tight to her side. A warm feeling in my chest I haven't experienced in weeks floods my heart at the way Nicki is treating me like I'm already her son, the same way Gretchen did. She's a lot like her. Her hand is on my bicep as if making sure I don't run away. Which I won't. It's time to face my fears and speak to my new family I can't believe I am about to be part of. I belong to something. Someone.

"First thing we are doing is getting your father's name on that birth certificate, Wade. Keep your surname, or change it, you decide. But you come from great stock and I'm about to make sure you get everything you deserve. What is rightfully yours, and right their wrongs. They denied you a family and a childhood. You deserved better. You may have lost your childhood, but I'm going to give you the best adult years of your life, years full of happiness and love, with the best support to help you, and us, get through this together. Stick with me, soldier. I've got you."

I can't help but smile at her, warmed by her protective words. "We had a prenuptial agreement," she says through the side of her mouth as we get closer to the three people I've been dreading facing. "My father and his father owned the Eagles together. Which means I own half. I"ve got him squirming and by the balls." Confidence bounces off of her. "I've been a silent partner for far too long, and I've held my tongue for even longer. I'm taking back control, and we're going to be one of the best teams with the strongest family bonds the NHL has ever seen."

Her assertiveness makes me feel slightly better than I have in weeks.

"It's time to officially meet your brother, your sister, and your father."

We step closer to my new family. "I was just telling Wade here that we should all go out onto the ice together for Family Skate. That would be fun, wouldn't it?"

She's insane.

I like her.

Lola shoots me a massive smile and gives me a small wave then mouths, she's the boss.

Cheerfully, Nicki adds, "Of course, Zane has yet to apologize to Kali, so he can't join us unless he does." She waves across at him. "Don't worry, sweetie, I'll drive you to Kali's house as soon as we get back into town later to make your apology."

Kali.

The mere mention of her name makes me feel like I'm drowning in self-pity.

It's all very well, Nicki showing up, trying to give me everything she thinks I need.

But all I really need and want is Kali.

How do I move on without her?

I can't.