Chapter 49

Kali

Knowing Wade hasn't left his house at Caulder Creek in three weeks, I pull up outside and turn off the engine.

Having to stop at least ten times to be sick by the side of the road on my way here, I'm relieved at the sight of Wade's house.

I need to pee badly. Although he hasn't let me in yet so I may have to pee in a bush.

After Ellis's suspicions this morning, she ran out to the pharmacy to buy me a pregnancy test. Not just one, but ten tests later, each positive one confirmed she was right.

I'm pregnant.

And then I remembered I had forgotten to take my contraceptive pills to LA, and we weren't exactly safe.

I thought I would be okay missing a couple of days.

I was wrong.

And now my body is growing the perfect little jelly bean. Overwhelmed with joy, I cried with happiness and jumped in Joy's car straight after, desperate to tell Wade.

Having not driven for years until lately, and with the amount of snow that fell overnight, I drove extra carefully in case of an accident. Not being so confident on the roads as I once was, it took me much longer to get here.

I stare at Wade's truck parked in the driveway beside a car I don't recognize and wonder who the hell he's let into the house when he won't let me anywhere near him.

Stepping out of the car, full of determination, I've decided I'm not leaving until he talks to me.

Tentatively making my way to the door, the fear of him refusing to answer courses through my thoughts. I'm not sure I can handle another dismissal from him.

I walk across the drive and up the stairs, holding onto the rail at the top, feeling slightly dizzy. I'm already sweating, imagining him rejecting us both. Because it's not just me to think about anymore.

There are two of us now.

I double tap the door and stand in the same place I have done every day for the last few weeks, but he's refused to answer.

Only this time, the handle turns, which gives me hope.

When the door swings open, I go to speak to stop him from closing it again at the sight of my face, but my mouth turns dry because it's not Wade standing on the other side of the door.

"Oh." I'm startled by the presence of a young woman.

"Hi." She looks smug as hell. "He's in the shower." Her voice is condescending and sardonic. She lifts her chin, flicking her hair over her shoulder.

Bitterness floods my tongue, my stomach swooshing around. I feel like I'm about to be sick again.

"Who was it?" Naked from the waist up, Wade walks into the kitchen and stops in his tracks when he sees me. His wet hair sends droplets of water rolling down his shoulders.

My gaze flicks between the two of them. Paralyzed, I can't breathe or understand what I ever did to deserve this.

And then there's this moment where Wade and I stare at each other.

He must see how awful I look.

How heartbroken I am. The deep set under his eyes mirroring mine.

We're broken.

Breathing air into my lungs, I push out the only words I can find the strength to say. "It was never a game for me. I meant every word I said to you." I inhale another gulp of fresh air, desperately trying to hold back the tears. "I hope, with time, you can find it in yourself to forgive me for whatever you think I did." I slide my eyes to the woman who is much younger than me and probably someone much more suited to him than I am, then back to Wade. The man I love and the man whose baby I am carrying. "I hope you'll be happy together."

I don't hang around.

My stomach is about to empty itself, forcing me to hold my hand over my mouth.

I climb into the car and speed out of there, making gravel spray everywhere as I drive away.

I can't see or breathe.

Can't think straight.

I need to pull over. It's not safe for me to keep driving.

I stop and jump out of the car, feeling sick again.

I dry heave, sobbing, and when my stomach calms a little, I stand on unsteady legs. I lay my hands on my tummy and look down, trying to imagine the person growing in there. "Well, it's just you and me now, buddy. If you could just behave for today to let mommy get some rest, that would be great."

A movie in my mind plays out as I imagine seeing Wade living across the road from me with his new girlfriend.

My stomach rolls at the thought.

"We have to move."