10. Joss

Chapter 10

Joss

Our first few nights together were good. We were both extra polite as if trying to be on our best behavior with a stranger. But within a few days, Torin started to relax and accept that I really was there to help him.

After a few weeks, he was happy to hand off more of the household chores to me and encouraged me to take Bella out on several walks throughout the day when he was on video calls and needed a quiet space. Bella was rarely fussy, but she was very verbal for an infant and liked to scream and laugh as soon as her daddy had to get on a work call.

That was usually my cue to take her out to look for butterflies and ladybugs and squirrels that liked to run across the fence and torment the dog next door.

"That's right, Bella. We'll drop off this package for Daddy at the post office, and when we get back, you'll get a bottle and it'll be nap time."

She shook the crinkly caterpillar in her chubby fist and watched me talk as if she understood every word I said.

"And then I get some alone time with Daddy." I waggled my eyebrows as if that meant something special. It didn't. Torin had zero interest in me beyond my milk. I mean, he was straight and still mourning his wife. No matter how many times I walked out of my room in just a pair of shorts or left my door open when I was in the shower, he wasn't gonna change who he was.

That was the hardest part about living with the only guy I'd ever loved. Those feelings would never truly be gone. I'd managed to mostly forget about him during the decade we were apart, but as soon as my initial hatred for him wore off, I was back to my pathetic longing for the straight boy who was just looking to kill time.

Only difference was now he wasn't a horny kid anymore. He had self-control and free access to porn and didn't feel the urge to climb into my bed at night like he did back then. Now, I fell asleep in the room directly below him while I imagined what he looked like all naked and sexy in his bed every night.

And as I stroked myself to sleep, I pictured Torin holding my hair as he choked me with his dick and told me to make Daddy come. "Oops, not the time for thoughts like that."

I had to adjust my dick in my shorts as we passed by a bus stop with an older woman. She was giving me a stern look for no good reason.

I smiled as I passed. "Hello, there."

"Hello." She craned her neck to look in the stroller. "Isn't it a little chilly for no socks?"

"What?" I glanced at her and then down at Bella. "Oh, she pulls them off. Those little tootsies like to feel a breeze, I guess."

"She'll catch her death if you don't put a blanket over those tootsies !" She huffed her disdain and turned back toward the street.

Geez. It wasn't actually cold outside. It was 75 and sunny, but I felt guilty and a little self-conscious for my bad caretaking skills, so I covered her feet with a burp cloth and rushed her back home, worried she really was gonna get sick.

I'd never forgive myself if I let Bella get sick because I was too busy daydreaming about her sexy daddy to notice her feet were frozen. Well, more like perfectly normal temperature, but I still felt like I'd officially screwed up, and I hated that. "I'm sorry, sweetheart. Let's get you inside. Clearly, I need to do a better job of focusing on you and not my silly fantasies."

My stomach started to feel unsettled as we turned the corner to Torin's house. "Let's just hope Daddy is still on his call so he doesn't see how dumb I've been." I took a deep breath and felt another spike of guilt and discomfort in my gut.

She started to fuss right as I parked the stroller in the corner of the porch and pulled her into my arms. "Okay, okay. I know you're hungry. Let's get you inside." Instinctively, I wrapped my hand around her feet to keep them warm. Honestly, they felt warm, or at least the same temperature as my hand, but that wasn't a good gauge.

That grandma probably knew way better than I did about what was smart outerwear for infants.

I opened the door and stepped inside just as Torin was walking by with a slice of toast in his hand. "Hey, that was quick."

Nodding, I walked straight to him. "Do her feet feel cold? Or her hands? Her socks were off and I took her out without thinking." I handed Bella to her father and turned my back to him. "I'm sorry."

"For what?" Torin's arm slid across my lower back, and he pulled me against his side. "What's wrong, Joshua?"

Fuck, why did my dick twitch every time he called me by my full name? The name I'd had to change just to help me forget about him. "Some lady said she was gonna get sick because she wasn't wearing socks." I turned toward Torin, forgetting how close we were until my face was basically touching his. "But it wasn't cold at all. I promise."

"She's fine, Joshua." His arm slid up my back until his hand was against my neck, holding me to his shoulder. "You're doing such a good job with her. I'm really proud of you."

A tear I didn't expect to release slipped down my cheek, so I subtly pressed it to his shirt, hoping he wouldn't notice. "You are?"

"Yes, Joshua. You're amazing, and you treat her like she's your own. I trust your judgment completely, and that lady was probably just having a judgy day."

I nodded into his neck and sniffed. "Yeah, she seemed a little cranky before she even looked into the stroller."

Torin pressed a kiss to the top of my head and squeezed me for a long moment before stepping back. "Don't let anyone make you second-guess yourself. I'm so grateful we found you." He lifted my chin up so I was looking into his gorgeous blue eyes. "Or that you found us. I mean it, Joshua. I'm so happy you're here."