Chapter 4

“Cousin Elizabeth, I trust you have taken Lady Catherine’s reproaches to heart and will amend your habits,” Mr Collins said at breakfast.

“Unfortunately, as much as I respect her ladyship’s opinion, I cannot do that. I woke up with a terrible headache and the only palliation is a little exercise out of doors. Hopefully, Lady Catherine will not find out.”

“My dear, just as you like to work in the garden, Eliza enjoys walking. It is the same. I see no harm in it,” Charlotte interjected.

“My dear Charlotte, I beg to differ. It is not the same! Lady Catherine approves of me working in the garden, but she does not approve of my cousin’s habit of walking.”

“Let us indulge Lizzy for as long as she stays with us. She will leave soon, and each of us will return to our old habits.”

Mr Collins agreed reluctantly, and Elizabeth marvelled at Charlotte’s patience in handling her husband. It was a daunting task, but likely the reward of a peaceful household was enough for Charlotte.

When she left the house, Elizabeth was undecided about her direction. Eventually, she took the path towards the children’s cottage, hoping Mr Darcy would be there. Besides her desire to talk to him, she missed the little ones.

As she walked, she found herself wondering about the supposed engagement between Mr Darcy and Miss Anne de Bourgh. Last evening at dinner she had observed both of them with much more interest than on previous occasions. She did not notice a single gesture, a single word, or a single glance of connection between the two. Miss de Bourgh spent most of her time talking to her companion and to Charlotte, without any attempt to involve Mr Darcy — unlike Miss Caroline Bingley had done at Netherfield.

As for Mr Darcy, he seemed indifferent to his cousin. The lack of feelings between them was so obvious that Elizabeth pitied them if they were to actually marry.

Halfway to her destination, she heard the sound of hoofs and recognised Mr Darcy approaching. He dismounted when he reached her, and strangely, her heart began to beat faster at seeing him, and she assumed it was due to their unresolved conflict.

“Miss Bennet!”

“Mr Darcy! I was hoping to meet you, sir.”

“And I you. I want to apologise for—”

“Oh no, it is I who owe you an apology for all the unfair accusations I threw at you. I have no excuse for being such a simpleton.”

“Do not be too hard on yourself. Wickham has deceived many people, several of them older and more experienced than you, who had more opportunities to see his true character yet still failed.”

“The failure of others is no excuse for my foolishness. But I thank you for your forgiveness.”

“I am sorry if my response was too strong… I should have been calmer…”

“I understand…I am grateful that you trusted me enough to share the truth.”

“Since we last spoke, I have reflected deeply upon the entire situation. I should have revealed the truth to Colonel Forster and warned him. I should wager that by now Wickham has already run up debts with his fellow officers and probably many tradespeople too.”

“I cannot form an opinion on this matter, sir. If the circumstances were different, I would say that perhaps he deserves another chance — perhaps he is willing to change and improve himself. However, I have no arguments to support such an assumption.”

“That is why I would rather inform only the colonel, not everyone. The colonel will know to watch him and to take proper measures if required. In the meantime…forgive me if I sound presumptuous, but I would like to suggest you write to your father and advise him not to allow your younger sisters to be in Wickham’s company. He is not to be trusted.”

She needed a moment to understand, then her cheeks flushed. “Oh…dear Lord, surely he would not dare…”

“Wickham would dare to do anything for his own benefit or his own entertainment,” Mr Darcy said with gravity. “Young, innocent girls like your sisters would never guess his deceptive nature.”

“I agree…I did not seen the danger before as I never saw any partiality for them on Mr Wickham’s side.”

“I heard his partiality lay towards you,” he said in a low voice, surprising Elizabeth. “I mean…I was told that,” he continued. “I admit, I was astonished, as he usually does not favour clever, witty ladies.”

Elizabeth looked at him, puzzled, wondering who had told him such a thing and why he was even interested. At his last words, she began to laugh.

“Well, then he was only acting in his usual way since I am neither clever nor witty.”

Mr Darcy smiled back as they continued to walk together.

“Mr Darcy, I do not wish to abuse your patience, but there is something else I wanted to ask you.”

“Please do so.”

“Do you have news from Mr Bingley? He is in good health, I hope?”

The answer came after some hesitation.

“I know he is in good health, but I have not seen Bingley much lately. We last spoke in February, when he went to visit a friend in Oxfordshire.”

“Oh…so he was not in London?”

“No.”

“That is strange because…my sister Jane has been in town since January, and she visited Miss Bingley and Mrs Hurst.”

She waited for his response, but none came.

“They told my sister that Mr Bingley was in town but was busy with you and Miss Darcy.”

At this, he turned to her, a frown appearing on his face.

“I was informed of your sister’s presence in London. To my knowledge, Bingley had already left by then.”

“Mr Darcy, there is no other way of asking this, even if it might raise a further disagreement between us. I know Mr Bingley’s sisters put great effort into separating him from Jane and keeping him in town, but I sense you were no stranger to this matter either. I am not ignorant of the fact that you never approved of Mr Bingley’s admiration for my sister. Can you deny it?”

“I have no wish to deny it, Miss Bennet. I always take responsibility for my actions.”

They walked in silence for a short while. She felt disappointed by his cold admission of ruining Jane’s happiness. He sounded careless and arrogant, just as he used to be in Hertfordshire.

“I knew his sisters opposed Bingley returning to Netherfield because of his admiration for your sister. And I knew she was in town. I suspect they refused to inform him.”

“I see…so my sister has been suffering for four months because of an evil scheme meant to ruin her happiness, and probably his too. I shall not pretend I am not disappointed and stunned by the complete lack of consideration you — as well as his sisters — showed to Mr Bingley.”

“Miss Bennet—”

“I am sorry, I have a sudden headache. I should return to the Parsonage.”

“Miss Bennet, please, only a moment longer.”

She looked at him. His gaze was dark, and she could not read anything in it.

“Miss Bennet, I did not disapprove of Bingley’s admiration for your sister. In truth, I believe she is one of the most beautiful women of my acquaintance, and with her flawless manners, I am sure she is universally admired.”

“She is,” Elizabeth replied with pride. “I am as aware of my sister’s lack of faults as I am of the fact that the rest of my family has plenty. From our situation in life to the breaches of decorum that are not rare for us.”

She expected him at least to attempt to deny it, but to her pain, he did not.

“All those were issues to consider, and they might have been the strongest inducement for Bingley’s sisters. For me, my main concern was my friend’s happiness. I did not want him to be hurt in a marriage where most of the affection lay on one side.”

Again, Elizabeth stared at him, trying to comprehend his words.

“What could you possibly mean, sir.”

“Miss Bennet, we both know that, while my young friend fell in love immediately, your sister’s heart is not easily touched. Anyone who saw them together, especially at the Netherfield ball, could observe that he was deeply enamoured while your sister received his attention with pleasure but no particular interest. I do not doubt that she would have been a loyal wife to Bingley, but in the end, both of them would have suffered, even if secretly. A marriage with unequal affection is worse than one with no affection at all.”

“So you separated your friend from my sister because you thought her indifferent to him?” Elizabeth enquired, almost suffocated by repressed anger and grief.

“I tried to protect him. I did not induce him to go to London, but when we were there, he asked my opinion about his situation. I honestly told him the result of my observation. Bingley left my house that day, and I have barely seen him again after that.”

She stood still, breathing hard and fighting to keep her composure.

“Have you been in love many times in your life, Mr Darcy? And perhaps betrayed many times?”

At this question, his astonishment seemed complete.

“Excuse me?”

“I am only asking because apparently, you claim equal expertise in matters of the heart as in business and estate management. You must have quite a lot of practice in both areas.”

“You are wrong, I assure you. I claim no expertise. I am not the sort of man to easily fall in love.”

“I assumed as much. But then you must be the sort of man who is ready to ruin other’s felicity based on assumptions that he does not even take the trouble to verify. If your friend was ready to propose to my sister, you should know that you have destroyed the happiness of both. My sister’s affection for Mr Bingley was not as openly displayed as his for her, but it was at least equally strong. And her suffering is so deep that she cannot overcome it even after four months of grief.”

Her tone was sharp, cutting, and she did not regret it, nor did she try to amend it. If she had every reason to regret her accusations in regard to Wickham, his selfish intervention and his arrogant assumption deserved the worst.

“Miss Bennet…”

“Mr Darcy, please allow me to leave, sir, while I can still restrain myself from being as rude as my anger demands me to be. Having the chance to see you in a different light lately, to recognise your kindness and generosity, has only made me more furious with you and proved to me how little consideration you have shown to my family since we met. It is your prerogative, of course, but I have the right to condemn it, even if it will turn me into your enemy.”

“I trust I am a better man than to consider you an enemy for the mere reason that we disagreed. I have no reason to doubt you — you certainly know your sister better than I do, so if you are right, I must have been wrong. But I did everything for the benefit of my friend.”

“Your purpose might have been noble, but the result is dreadful. My sister will put her heart together eventually, but Mr Bingley will certainly not find a woman better suited to him, nor one who cares for him more deeply. And if he is unhappy in his marriage, you will have the satisfaction of knowing that it is the result of your doing everything to his benefit.”

Her last sentences affected him so deeply that his expression was transfigured.

“Now please excuse me. I shall leave you,” she said, then hurried back to the Parsonage. She was tempted to look back and see whether he was following her but overcame the impulse. She entered, told Charlotte she still had a headache and retired to her room. Her heart was heavy, her head clouded, and she released all her tension by beginning to sob, as she had not done in many years.

Knowing that Mr Bingley had intended to propose to Jane but had reconsidered only because he believed her indifferent — at his friend’s suggestion — was heartbreaking. It surely took most of the blame from Mr Bingley’s shoulders and moved it to Mr Darcy, who, in only a few words — could cause misery with much ease.

That day, Elizabeth did not leave her room. She was in no disposition to see anyone, especially Mr Collins. She counted the days till her departure — nine. As she lay in her bed, she wondered whether she could find a way to leave earlier. Despite being angry with Mr Darcy, she felt a strange desire to see him again and talk to him more — which was an even stronger reason for her to shorten her stay in his proximity.

She only gathered herself enough to write to her father and warn him about Mr Wickham. She insisted that Lydia and Kitty should not be allowed unchaperoned in that man’s company, nor should his presence at Longbourn be encouraged.

The following day, the weather was fine, but Elizabeth refused to accompany Charlotte to Hunsford.

Home alone, she wrote to her aunt, enquiring about the possibility of changing her plans, which depended on Mr Gardiner’s carriage.

In the afternoon, an invitation for tea came from Lady Catherine, mentioning her nephews were away on business and she needed company. Elizabeth declined, expressing her desire to obey Lady Catherine’s request and not go to Rosings as long as she felt any sort of illness. Mr Collins was perfectly content.

Two more days passed in which Elizabeth did not leave the Parsonage at all. She would have enjoyed a walk, but she feared she would meet Mr Darcy, and she could not bear seeing him again.

Later in the afternoon on the second day, just before dinner, Colonel Fitzwilliam called unexpectedly, enquiring about Elizabeth’s health. She was in the drawing room with Charlotte and had the chance to assure him she was well enough.

“I shall only stay a moment as Lady Catherine is expecting me for dinner. Miss Bennet, I am glad to see you. We were truly worried for you.”

“I thank you, sir. There is no need for concern — it is only a silly headache.”

“I hoped that was the case. Darcy insisted on me advising you to send for the doctor if your pain persists, but obviously, it is not necessary.”

“Obviously,” Elizabeth replied, feeling chills at the simple mention of his name.

“Tell Mr Darcy we thank him for his advice,” Mr Collins said. “And assure him my cousin will not go to Rosings and put Miss de Bourgh in any danger.”

“Mr Darcy is well, I hope?” Charlotte asked. “We have not seen either of you lately.”

“He is. I insisted on him joining me, but he claimed his presence might be too much and might upset Miss Bennet. I really failed to understand his reason.”

“Both you and Mr Darcy are always welcome in our home,” Charlotte replied, while Elizabeth remained silent. She felt unsettled knowing that Mr Darcy had spoken of her and was concerned about her health. She was also grateful that he had not simply appeared at her door, unannounced, which would have caused her even more distress.

The colonel left, and the family had dinner.

“How kind of Mr Darcy to be so worried for Miss de Bourgh,” Mr Collins said. “His affection for her is certainly growing, and Lady Catherine is expecting a marriage proposal any day now.”

“Are you sure, my dear?” Charlotte asked.

“They certainly do not behave like a couple who are courting,” Maria declared. “I have never seen either of them say a single word to the other.”

“My dear Maria, you must know that people of high society do not behave like the rest of us. They do not show their feelings so easily, especially around strangers. Besides, Lady Catherine has told me that their engagement is of a particular sort. They have been destined for each other since they were in their cradles. It was the particular wish of his mother and hers.”

“It sounds very complicated,” Maria replied. “I wonder why they have not married all these years.”

Mr Collins looked appalled.

“My dear sister, let us learn never to judge either Lady Catherine or anyone in her family. They know what to do better than us.”

With that, dinner ended, and Elizabeth excused herself, blaming the same headache.

A new subject of reflection kept sleep away for most of the night. She kept thinking of that particular engagement and could not but agree with Maria. If Mr Darcy had not proposed before the age of eight-and-twenty, the chances of it happening were scarce. Unless perhaps Mr Darcy preferred to be single for a little longer before binding himself into a marriage. His voice when he had spoken about unequal affection in marriage indicated to Elizabeth that the subject was not completely unknown to him. As much as she tried not to allow her mind to wonder about him, she failed, as her thoughts refused to turn in another direction.