Chapter 5

The following morning, Elizabeth woke up at dawn with a headache that would not pass no matter what she did. Despite the early time, she took her coat and went for a walk — which she had longed to do over the last few days.

She took a completely different path from her previous ones to avoid any unpleasant meetings, but luck was not on her side; as soon as she took a right turn down a path under some trees, she saw Mr Darcy, and he looked as though he was waiting for someone.

He walked towards her, and there was no chance for her to avoid the encounter.

“Miss Bennet.” He bowed politely.

“Mr Darcy. I did not expect to see you here, sir.”

“I confess I hoped to see you. In fact, I have walked these paths for the last three days to that end.”

“Oh…” The honest confession caught her unprepared.

“Are you feeling better today?”

“Not entirely.”

“I am sorry to hear that…”

“There is no need, sir. It is only an annoying headache that has bothered me lately.”

“I can imagine…”

“Have you seen the Gilroy children recently? I hope they are in good health?”

“Yes, yesterday. The children are well. Mrs Gilroy, I was told, has some backache. I asked the physician from Hunsford to visit her.”

“It is commendable that you put so much effort into helping them.”

“It is no effort, truly,” he replied.

“Please send them my greetings when you next see them.”

“I shall. But if you wish, you may go and see them yourself. Do not worry about seeing me. I understand my presence is uncomfortable to you, and I shall not get in your way.”

His voice was low and his countenance stern; she felt her cheeks burning.

“You are on your aunt’s estate, sir. Certainly you are not in my way, but I would like to avoid any more quarrels that may harm our tentative acquaintance further.”

“I understand. I am sorry, as I know the quarrels were mostly my fault. However, what was done is in the past, and there is little I can do now to remedy my errors.”

“Yes, such errors cannot be easily repaired. And whilst I cannot argue with your desire to protect your friend, I cannot forget my sister’s suffering either.”

“I wished to inform you that I have written to Colonel Forster, as we discussed.”

“And I have written to my father.”

“I am glad to hear it. I also wrote to Bingley immediately after our last discussion.”

Elizabeth’s heart stopped, and she held her breath after asking, “You did?”

“Of course. I told him that your sister has been in town since January and that I met you here. I indicated to him that I might have been wrong in my judgment, and I advised him to disregard my opinion and to act based on his own wishes.”

“Thank you, sir,” she said in a heartfelt whisper.

“Please do not thank me for doing what is right. I know Bingley might be angry with me, and I even put our friendship in danger, but his happiness is worth more than his opinion of me.”

“You are an excellent man, Mr Darcy,” she said after a brief pause.

“Sadly, not entirely. I struggle to be, but I fail at times. I was taught good principles, but I realise I have applied them in a selfish manner. You opened my eyes when you told me that you were not surprised that I helped the Gilroy family with food, but you were amazed that I give the children attention.”

“Oh, please forgive me. It was certainly not my right to say that!”

“No, it was not.” He smiled. “But I am glad you did so. Also, you told me that I showed no consideration for your family. That is also true. I gave no importance to anyone in Meryton during my stay there. None of them mattered at all. ”

He paused, breathed deeply, then added, “Except for you.”

Elizabeth’s heart stopped, and she watched him with bewilderment before clearing her throat. “Me, sir?”

“Yes. I hoped you had noticed it a while ago.”

“Noticed it?” she repeated, her astonishment now complete.

“Yes, my interest and my admiration for you.”

For a moment, Elizabeth suspected he was teasing her. Yet, he looked serious, even stern, a deep frown between his eyebrows.

“Not at all,” she admitted. “Until I saw you with the children and spent a little while talking, I was certain that you always looked at me to find fault.”

“You revealed your true opinion when you declared we were more enemies than friends. At that moment, I realised how wrong I had been in my estimation. I should have known I was wrong in judging your sister too.”

“Mr Darcy, please forgive me…but I feel there is a misunderstanding, and I wish to clarify it… May I ask about the nature of your interest?” she whispered.

“It is of whatever nature you wish it to be, Miss Bennet,” he responded, puzzling her even more. “Please know that I have admired you for a long time, and I am deeply sorry for any harm I have caused you or your family through my arrogant and thoughtless actions. Your friendship — if you will allow me to have it — is valuable to me, and I shall not do or say anything to make you uncomfortable.”

In a perturbed state of perturbed mind, wondering about his meaning, fearing to assume what was still unclear, Elizabeth could only reply with a timid and silly, “Thank you.”

He smiled and seemed content. “Shall we walk a little farther?” he asked.

“Yes…for a little while. I must return for breakfast. Mr Collins is as strict about punctuality as Lady Catherine.”

He laughed, and suddenly the barrier of tension broke between them.

“Mr Collins emulates my aunt in everything.”

“Yes, Lady Catherine could not be the object of a more loyal adoration.”

“Something that she truly relishes,” he joked.

“Miss de Bourgh does not seem to resemble your aunt.”

“She does not. She is very much like Sir Lewis — both in appearance and in nature.”

The subject was on her lips, and although she knew it was highly improper to voice it, she could not restrain herself.

“I hear you are engaged to Miss de Bourgh.”

He turned his head, and her eyes met his.

“I am not. This is a ridiculous fantasy my aunt has entertained since Anne and I were infants. She claimed she agreed upon it with my mother — something that nobody else has ever heard of. Regardless, I would never marry someone to indulge a twenty-five-year-old agreement.”

“And Miss de Bourgh? Has she no expectations? She must be hurt if—”

“Miss Bennet, I have discussed the matter with my cousin many times. My affection for her is genuine — though of a different nature — and I would never do anything to harm her.”

“Of course.”

They continued to walk and — for some impossible-to-understand reason — Elizabeth felt her heart becoming lighter and lighter. She forgot that she had been so angry with him only half an hour before, that she wished to never see him again. On the contrary, she heard herself say, “I would like to see the Gilroy children tomorrow. Perhaps we may talk more if you happen to be there too?”

A broad smile appeared on his face. “I shall be there an hour after breakfast, Miss Bennet. Shall we return now? It is late already.”

They continued to walk together until they were near the Parsonage but did not speak much. After their previous storming quarrels, a peaceful silence enveloped them. They parted at the garden gate, and she entered the house while he mounted and rode off towards Rosings.

Elizabeth’s state improved drastically that morning. With anticipation, she imagined Mr Bingley’s response to hearing such news. Mr Darcy had fulfilled his duty. From that day on, Mr Bingley’s behaviour would be the only proof of his worthiness and of his real interest in Jane.

The word ‘interest’ stirred Elizabeth’s imagination even more, as she recollected the way Mr Darcy had used it. He had declared he had admired her for a long time and held a particular interest in her. What a puzzling man he was! What could he possibly mean? What sort of admiration? What sort of interest? He had refused to discuss it, and she did not dare guess what he had not said.

He had seemed hurt that she had said they were more enemies than friends. But such a description would apply to anyone in Meryton, including her family. He said he had misjudged her opinion of him. In what way? He was indeed a difficult man, and he seemed to enjoy torturing her, though he pretended he valued her friendship. Only an hour before, Elizabeth would not have called their relationship a friendship. But apparently, he had—and she was ready to agree with him.

Breakfast had already been served when she entered, and Mr Collins raised his eyebrow in reproach.

They were still eating when an express arrived from London for Elizabeth, and she assumed it was from Mrs Gardiner. Instead, it was from Jane, and Elizabeth opened it with worry and curiosity.

As she read, disbelief and then joy overwhelmed her, and she felt tears pooling in her eyes. Surely it could not be! It was certainly the fruit of her imagination! Such a perfect outcome in such a short time was difficult to believe.

“Eliza my dear, what has happened? You look troubled,” Charlotte said.

“I am not troubled, only exceedingly happy. Jane writes that Mr Bingley called on them yesterday. Apparently, he only returned to London a week ago and was informed she was in town,” she said, and for a brief though powerful moment, she felt the desire to embrace Mr Darcy. She flushed at such a bold thought, then put the letter down and resumed eating, eager to read it again afterwards, and planning how to meet Mr Darcy again to thank him.