Chapter 3

That night was even worse than the previous one; restless and burdened with self-reproach and guilt, Elizabeth barely slept at all. Adding to her torment, it had rained for the rest of the day, with no opportunity for activities out of doors. Mr Collins went to Rosings, despite the rain, but returned quickly.

Elizabeth had planned to stay in Kent for another fortnight. She had exchanged two letters with Jane so far but in neither of them had she mentioned Mr Darcy. Mrs Gardiner’s letters revealed that Jane’s spirits had not improved at all, which upset Elizabeth and increased her anger towards all those who had caused it.

After her discussion with Mr Darcy, when she had found out how she had been fooled by Mr Wickham, Elizabeth thought more of Mr Darcy from all perspectives. The most important aspect was the suspicion that he had caused Mr Bingley to leave Netherfield.

Mr Darcy might have intervened, together with the Bingley sisters; it was more likely that he he had than he had not. However, if Mr Bingley’s affection for Jane had been sincere and strong, how could he have allowed himself to be so easily persuaded to not return? Did he possess not enough will? Or strength? Or perhaps no real interest in the woman he pretended to admire?

It was like she had not wanted to marry Mr Collins but had done so anyway because her mother forced her. How could this be an excuse for a man who was the master of his own life? Could his affection be shallow? Could he be a shallow man or just a weak one? If any of those possibilities were the case, did Jane really need such a man?

When the second day came with more pouring rain, Elizabeth felt low in spirits. The day passed slowly, with annoying conversations in which Mr Collins participated more than Elizabeth could bear.

In the afternoon, the rain did not stop but the sun came to the Parsonage in the form of a note from Lady Catherine, inviting them all to dine at Rosings. Mr Collins was so overwhelmed with joy and gratitude that he needed a few moments to remember to breathe again. Charlotte smiled as a supportive wife should, while Elizabeth struggled not to roll her eyes in vexation.

When Charlotte wrote back to accept the invitation, Elizabeth understood she would see Mr Darcy again, without having a chance to speak to him privately at all. Under Lady Catherine’s scrutiny, any word needed to be carefully pondered.

For dinner, Elizabeth arranged her appearance with extra care and put on her best dress. Restless, with a hole in her stomach and chills running over her skin, she tried to guess what Mr Darcy might be thinking about her. Their discussion made her presume that he suspected she might have a deeper interest in Mr Wickham than mere friendship. Was he mocking her for her foolishness?

Or did he loathe her for her accusations? Did he finally consider her an enemy, which he had denied a few days ago?

“Cousin Elizabeth, make haste! Lady Catherine’s carriage is waiting! Can you believe such consideration? To send us her carriage! And take your umbrella! Lady Catherine abhors to drops of water dirtying her floors or wet dresses at her dinner table. My dear Charlotte, come, come!”

With such agitation, they entered the carriage and shortly after stopped in front of Rosings. They all climbed down, and Elizabeth’s heart pounded harder.

They were invited into the dining room, where Lady Catherine received them with an air of irritated superiority.

“I hope your shoes are dry!” she said before greeting them. “Anne is very fragile, and I would not wish her to slip and fall.” She then asked a servant to dry the floor, even though it had already been done.

Elizabeth cast a quick glance at Mr Darcy; he was sitting in a corner by himself. Colonel Fitzwilliam came to greet them and invited Elizabeth to sit next to him.

“Darcy, come and sit next to me,” Lady Catherine requested. “And you, Mr Collins, here. Mrs Collins and your sister may sit there.”

With such orders, each took their designed place, and the first course was served.

“Lady Catherine, allow me to say again how grateful we are for this invitation,” Mr Collins said.

“To be honest, as I always am, I would not have invited you in this weather if my nephews had not insisted. You know how much I detest leaving the house or receiving guests when it is raining. Such weather is the perfect time for all sorts of illnesses, which I cannot allow in my house.”

“Dear aunt, I am sure we are all in excellent health here,” the colonel said in his usual amused tone.

Elizabeth felt Mr Darcy’s glance upon her, and her eyes met his briefly.

“Well, I understand Miss Bennet possesses a very unladylike habit of walking out of doors in any weather. I could not disapprove of it more.”

“It is said that walking and any other sorts of exercise in the fresh air ensures better health,” Mr Darcy suddenly interjected.

“I strongly disagree. I have never liked exercise out of doors and still have always been healthy. Unlike my poor sister Anne — God rest her soul — who liked to walk and ride yet died so young.”

The blunt statement astonished Elizabeth, and she looked at Mr Darcy again, seeing his frowning countenance.

“Besides, even if it is healthy, I declare the habit of walling alone to be most improper for a young woman. But when one has spent their entire life in the country, one cannot be aware of the demands of propriety.”

Elizabeth knew the rebuke was directed at her. Amused, she pondered how she should reply, but Mr Collins spoke first.

“I completely agree, Lady Catherine. I have told my cousin Elizabeth many times. Even a few days ago, when the colonel called and she was not at home, I expressed my opposition to her strolling in the park alone.”

“Why were you calling on the Parsonage, Richard?” Lady Catherine asked harshly.

“Because I desired company,” the colonel replied with a large smile.

“I cannot imagine why would you prefer the company at the Parsonage to that of your relatives.”

“It is no competition, Aunt,” the colonel said, keeping the same smile. “You and Anne were resting, Darcy was out on his usual ride, and I went to the village and stopped at the Parsonage on the way.”

“I disapprove of Darcy’s habit of riding around the fields very much too,” Lady Catherine declared. “I have been told you are seen quite often in a certain part of the park,” she said, and again, Elizabeth saw Mr Darcy’s expression changing.

“I ride all around the park, Aunt, just as I do at Pemberley. Managing an estate means to supervise it with your own eyes as often as possible.”

“You cannot argue with that, Aunt,” the colonel interjected again. “I know nobody more dedicated or more successful in accomplishing his duties than Darcy. And you must admit that, in the five years since he took on the management of Rosings, your income has significantly improved.”

“Richard, we do not speak about business at dinner and certainly not in front of strangers!” Lady Catherine scolded her nephew. Elizabeth hid her smile behind her napkin. The entire scene was equally embarrassing and amusing, and the only ones not seeing the ridiculousness of it seemed to be Lady Catherine and her loyal admirer Mr Collins.

“Miss Bennet, I hope you returned to the Parsonage safely the other day,” Mr Darcy suddenly said, and Elizabeth held her breath. He turned to his aunt, who was already looking at him curiously, and explained, “I was riding to Rosings when the rain began, and I saw Miss Bennet in the lane. I hoped she was not caught in the rain.”

“I entered the house just in time,” Elizabeth said. “Thank you for your concern, sir.”

She understood the meaning behind his words and realised he must have been just as preoccupied by their argument as he had been since he had brought it up in front of his aunt.

“What were you doing out of doors?” Lady Catherine asked.

“I was just walking, thinking about some personal matters that have troubled me lately. The walk helped me realise how wrong I was in my judgments, and now I am searching for ways to make amends, or at least to apologise for my mistakes.”

Elizabeth knew her statement was bold and could begin another quarrel with Lady Catherine, but she accepted the risk and cast a look at Mr Darcy. He certainly understood her and even slightly bowed his head in an imperceptible gesture of acknowledgement.

“Nonsense!” Lady Catherine declared. “This is precisely what I meant earlier. You should stay with Mrs Collins and learn from her how to run a household. She is a good mistress, just to my liking. Though you might not need it — I doubt you will receive a marriage proposal considering your situation in life and lack of dowry.”

“Lady Catherine!” the colonel shouted. “Surely you cannot say that!”

“Why not? We all know it is true! Why let her entertain hopes that will never be fulfilled? It will only harm her more.”

“I appreciate your ladyship’s thoughtfulness,” Elizabeth replied. “I do agree that Charlotte is an excellent mistress, and I congratulate her on her felicity. As for me, I have no such expectations.” She was now smiling broadly, and she looked at the colonel, then at Darcy — both of them were frowning.

“If we are not allowed to discuss business at dinner, we should certainly not talk about the futures or marital lives of others,” Mr Darcy interjected in a cold voice. “Furthermore, I would not measure a lady’s chances of felicity by her connections or dowry but by her worthiness. As proof, I have not seen many happy — truly happy — marriages between people of great consequence and great fortune. My parents were one of the very few exceptions.”

Lady Catherine looked displeased, and she was about to respond when Darcy addressed her directly. “Do you have other examples of such cases, Aunt? If you do and you wish to debate over them, I would be happy to indulge you.”

His voice was calm and polite, though cold, and Elizabeth was surprised to see Lady Catherine’s face change colour. She abandoned the subject and demanded the next course be served.

After dinner, the conversation was scarce. Unlike the previous dinner, when the colonel had asked for some music and Elizabeth had performed while he turned the pages for her, this time such a favour was not requested. The party soon separated, when Lady Catherine declared she was tired.

∞∞∞

Since over the last nights sleep had evaded her, Elizabeth was exhausted but content. The dinner — though neither entraining nor comfortable — had provided her with the opportunity to speak to Mr Darcy, admit her error, and apologise.

Even though it had been a disquieting and disguised conversation, its importance was significant. However, new questions arose in her mind as she remembered Mr Darcy taking her side in regard to the subject of marriage. He had spoken of a woman’s worthiness in opposition to her connections and dowry. Could he have been referring to Jane? Of course, who else? Had he realised his error in separating his friend from her sister and was now ready to make amends too?

With such hopes, Elizabeth’s nervousness returned — but in a good way. She decided to take a long walk the next day and try to see him again, if only for a few minutes, to ask a few more questions. She glanced through the window — the sky was still cloudy, but she prayed for the best.